Nov 5 2009 On This Day In History

In 1955, Doctor Emmet Lathrop Brown was standing on a toilet hanging a wall clock when he slipped and beat his head on the bathroom sink. Unconscious, Doc had a vision. And that vision was that of a flux capacitor -- the device that makes time travel possible. The rest, my friends, is history. Or should I say, future? Time travel joke!

Wiki Page

Thanks to Zach, who doesn't need roads where he's going.

Dec 15 2008 I Hear Wedding Bells!: A Match Made In Halo

John Henry and Desirai Labrada (PsychoVandal and SickNdehed, respectively) met playing Halo in 2004 and are now getting married in a Halo themed wedding at this year's Otronicon gaming convention in Orlando, FL.

They met when she lived in New York and he was in Florida. She'd become Xbox Live friends with his roommate, and they slowly started to play games together, regularly. When he didn't show up online one day during the time they usually played, she sent him a message and her phone number.

"I was drawn to her laugh," John said in a phone interview with MTV News earlier this week. "I had made her laugh a few times and thought her laugh was kind of cute."

They played "Halo" as teammates. As they were falling in love, they tended to protect each other a lot, watching each other's back as lasers and grenades fell around them. And in an act of sacrifice only possible during a blossoming romance, Desirai agreed to take Dramamine so she could last through three-hour binges of campaign mode on "Halo 3" with John without getting motion sickness.

That's true love.

That IS true love. Don't give up readers, there's hope for you yet. The wedding goes down January 17th and I'm totally gonna crash it (with permission). God and booze willing, I'll even make out with a bridesmaid. Oh, and apparently the event is receiving some negative attention regarding the couple's decision to go with a video game themed wedding. Which, I think we can all agree, is utterly freaking stupidtalk. I've got news for you folks: I got married in a non-Halo themed ceremony, and you know what? That marriage went straight to shit. Coincidence? No.

A heartfelt congratulations to the husband-and-wife to be.

Halo' Wedding Planned By Two Video Game Fans; Master Chief Will Officiate [mtv]

Thanks to evilcharismatic, my woman on the inside, who promises to keep me posted on the awesomeness as it develops. Expect a followup post after the event.

Nov 5 2008 R.I.P.: Michael Crichton Passed Away

It is with a heavy heart that I write Michael Crichton, 66, author of such genius as Jurassic Park, The Andromeda Strain, Congo, Disclosure, and Timeline, passed away unexpectedly yesterday. He was battling cancer.

While the world knew him as a great storyteller that challenged our preconceived notions about the world around us -- and entertained us all while doing so -- his wife Sherri, daughter Taylor, family and friends knew Michael Crichton as a devoted husband, loving father and generous friend who inspired each of us to strive to see the wonders of our world through new eyes," his family tells ET. "He did this with a wry sense of humor that those who were privileged to know him personally will never forget.

We're gonna miss you Michael, save a spot for me in that great dinosaur park in the sky.

Jurassic Park Author Dies Unexpectedly [usmagazine]

Thanks to The Superficial Writer for sadly bringing this to my attention.

Jul 31 2008 Amazing: Wooden Mechanical Motion Machine

This is a video of an all wooden machine made by a 70-year old man named Del who may or may not be Santa Claus. It contains absolutely no metal whatsoever and displays virtually ever method of mechanical motion, all in a single machine. Sure it doesn't actually do anything, but who cares, it's freaking awesome. Santa even used a variety of different wood to make the thing, including: maple, black walnut, pine, oak, cherry, hickory, and morning. Well done! I've been good this year Santa, and I'm thinking this is what I want for Christmas. And, if it's not too much trouble, one of your female elves. Pointier the ears, the better.

Youtube

Thanks Skyler, now let's build one out of marshmallows.

Jul 28 2008 Stephen Hawking In LEGO Form

This is Stephen Hawking in LEGO form. I have no idea of the maker's intentions, but it was posted with this comment:

Professor Stephen Hawking, CH, CBE, FRS, Lucasian Professor of Mathematics - Cambridge University. BEST WISHES ON YOUR TRIP TO THE STARS

So I'm thinking the person was being genuine. Regardless, I think we can all agree that Hawking is one of the most brilliant minds of our time and I'm dumb as hell. Love you, Stephen. Some of my favorite Hawkingisms:

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.

Continue Reading " Stephen Hawking In LEGO Form "

Jul 16 2008 Tempest Storm, Born 1928, Still Stripping

Tempest Storm was born in 1928 by some other name and was stripping by 1950. And guess what -- she's still at it. And, oh, I just puked a little.

"I don't just get up there and rip my clothes off," she says.

Indeed, the 80-year-old burlesque queen takes her clothes off very slowly.

Her act is a time capsule. She knows nothing of poles. She would never put her derriere in some man's face. Her prop of choice is a boa, perhaps the occasional divan.

It takes four numbers, she says adamantly, four numbers to get it all off. To do it classy.

I disagree Tempest, three minutes is about all the class I can stand. Anyway, the geriatric Storm claims she dated Elvis and regularly danced for the likes of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Mickey Rooney, Nat King Cole, and The Geekologie Writer's great-grandfather. Okay, the puke dribble has developed into a full fledged projectile vomit, so I'm gonna have to wrap things up here with another quote.

Oh my God, I'm emptying my whole stomach.

Ha, I quoted myself. Hit the jump for two more pictures, but a warning: one is from the back (waist up) and shows her in her stripping outfit. It's definitely suitable for work, but not for a mere mortal's eyes. You have been warned. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I WARNED YOU. WARNING, WARNING! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! F*** it, lose your sight, I don't care.

Hit it if you're cool with blindness.

Continue Reading " Tempest Storm, Born 1928, Still Stripping "

Jul 15 2008 Guy Tries To Rob Pizza Joint, Gets An Extra Large Knocked The Hell Out

There's nothing funnier than when some asshat tries to rob a pizza joint and ends up getting knocked the f*** out. Especially when his wig falls off and an employee realizes it's her dad.

As Stephanie Martinez was getting money out of a cash drawer, a co-worker, Rudy Sandoval, fought back against the intruder, knocking off his wig and sunglasses. Whe she saw the face behind the wig and dark glasses, "I dropped the money," Ms. Martinez said. "I said, 'Don't hit him again! That's my dad!' And he said, 'What's he doing here?' and I said, 'I don't know!' "

Wow, surprisingly, Stephanie was not in on the job, but her mom was. Robbing your daughter's workplace -- now that's family for you. Hold on, door.

UPDATE: It was my dad, he kicked me in the face and stole my wallet.

Skip to 1:15 for the action, 2:45 for a close-up.

Denton pizza employee: Surprised to see dad when wig falls off robber [dallasnews]
and
Do not rob this pizza store [break]

Thanks to Jaybone and Julian, now one of you bring over a pizza. I can't cook and had to dump the girlfriend after I found out she has a thing for some Italian's sausage.

May 12 2008 Guitar Hero Mod For One Handed Players

That handsome devil in the picture there is Ben Heckendorn, a man best known for his portable consoles and a number of one handed controller mods. Well he's back with another, this time a controller that allows someone to play Guitar Hero with a single hand (and foot). It's basically a pedal that replaces the strum bar. You just wonk on it with your foot when you need to strum, and press the buttons on the guitar like you normally would. Great job, Ben. I love the fact that there are people out there like yourself that take the less-fortunate gamer into consideration when you're modding. Now if you could just make a robotic arm that chucks a Wii Wheel at the television whenever someone loses at Mario Kart, I think we'll be set. Not that I have a use for one -- I don't lose. No, I think The Superficial Writer needs one. You see, while not handicapped in the traditional sense, he's no good at the game and throws a hissy fit whenever you red shell him. Plus he's just an all around poor sport*.

*I'm going to the free clinic this afternoon, you better have been joking.

One more picture of the device after the jump.

Continue Reading " Guitar Hero Mod For One Handed Players "

Mar 19 2008 R.I.P. Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - 2008)

If you haven't heard, Arthur C. Clarke passed away in Sri Lanka after suffering from breathing problems. He was 90. Best known for writing 2001: A Space Odyssey and developing the idea of geosynchronous orbiting satellites, Clarke was a talented writer, inventor and futurist. I hope even you Mac haters out there can look past that computer in the back and take this time to remember a brilliant mind.

RIP Arthur C. Clarke (December 16, 1917 - March 19, 2008)

Writer Arthur C. Clarke dies at 90 [yahoonews]