Aug 13 2009
Batman Would Be Proud Cramped: Guy Builds Mini-Tumbler Out Of Go Kart
Want your own Batman Tumbler but can't afford to hire Morgan Freeman to build you a full-size one? Well fear not, intrepid crime fighter, because some guy on eBay is selling $30 plans to build one out of a go kart. Of course, if you don't want to pay, I'll tell you how to make one for free.
Step 1: Steal a go kart.
Step 2: Add a bunch of spray painted sheet metal.
Step C: Multiply your chances of getting tetanus and lockjaw by four score.
Step 4: Subtract any street cred you may have accumulated over the years.
Step 5: Divide by Robin. And by divide by I mean have intercourse with in the back.
Step 6: Safety first -- make sure to wrap your junk in a costume (I guess this should have been Step 5).
Step G: Get tested.
Hit the jump for a video of a finished Dangermobile in action.
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Batman Would Be Proud Cramped: Guy Builds Mini-Tumbler Out Of Go Kart
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Mar 13 2009 People Still Pogo?: The Flybar Pogo Stick
Sorry for the delay folks, I just got back from the doctor for a checkup. Yeah, and you know that whole 'turn your head and cough bit'? Well, the doctor didn't properly anticipate the weight of my nuts and broke his wrist. True story. Anyway, the Flybar is a ridiculously stupid looking pogo stick that allegedly bounces higher than a regular one.
It does this using some seriously strong elastic bands known as rubber thrusters that increase the maximum bounce height to a whopping seven feet six inches. You can snag a Flybar of your own for a whopping $320.
Pfft, forget the Flybar -- I've got four-and-one-quarter inches of rubber thruster for you right here. *squeak squeak squeak* Anybody?
Flybar is one seriously juiced up pogo stick [dvice]
Mar 2 2009 Questionable Disney Star Wars Characters
Star Wars Weekends have been a huge hit at the Disney theme parks, and to celebrate the desecration of my childhood comes a limited edition of ridiculous looking Disney characters dressed as Star Wars ones. There's Don Solo in carbonite, a lanky Goofbacca, Mick Skywalker, and highly inappropriate Slave Girl Minnie.
A limited series of 600 statues of each of the figures will retail for $195 each. 500 sets will be available at Disney's Hollywood Studios, while the other 100 will be available at Disneyland. The figures will not be available until around the second week in June, so it looks like they'll appear just in time for the final weekend of Star Wars Weekends.
Wow, I know I'm just itching to get my hands on a Slave Girl Minnie. WTF? Disney, what the hell are you trying to teach our kids? Mommy, I want to be a slave -- just like Minnie! BOOM -- ten years later she's dancing the Sarlacc feeding shift on some slimeball's sail barge.
Hit the jump for a picture of the other two.
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Jan 16 2009 Optimouse Prime: The Mickey Transformer
Apparently this Mickey Mouse-Transformer mashup was on display at this week's Tokyo Toy Forum and is being manufactured for sale late next month. The morphing mouse will set you back about 40 pieces of cheese and is perfect for both Disney and Transformer fans. Plus, if you know somebody who's both, you can count it as both their birthday AND Christmas presents. Sure that would make you a giant cheapskate, but who cares, I already saw you taking extra hot sauce packets from Taco Bell. Haha, you thought I didn't notice, did you, you little cheapskate?*
*Bring me some Fire.
DeceptaToon: Mickey Mouse Transformer debuts in Japan [dvice]
Thanks to Riche-con-carnie, who would probably taste great with a little extra hotsauce.
Nov 24 2008 You Look Stupid When You Play Video Games. Just Kidding, Only These Kids Do
You ever wonder what you look like playing video games? Well I'll tell you: a slovenly asshole with man-tits and torn boxers lounging on a broken recliner. Psyche, that's just me. But now photographer Robbie Cooper has made a video showing just how goofy kids look while they game. Make sure to check out the girl that is either the devil or on drugs at around 1:00. No emotion. Girl could kill you and your whole family and not bat an eye. Lock her up! Or, alternatively, burn her at the stake! But, if you go with the latter, I call a drumstick.
Thanks to Emode, who doesn't look stupid playing video games because he has laser eyes and balls the size of European castles.
Sep 3 2008 Fun!: Child-Eating Dinosaurs At Museum
The Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County has a new exhibit in which children (and those of us that refuse to grow up) can interact with living dinosaurs. And by living dinosaurs, I obviously mean a guy dressed up in a costume. Speaking of which, were any of you inappropriately touched by Goofy at Walt Disney World circa 1986? I'm trying to get a lawsuit together. Anyway, check out this dinosaur costume -- it's similar to the ones they use for that Walking With The Dinosaurs show. Long story short: it's freaking sweet and I want one. Because nothing would make me happier than donning a dinosaur suit and ravishing my neighbor's car in a fit of carnal lust. Seriously asshole, stop Jurassic Parking that lemon in front of my house.
Hit the jump for another video with a couple more dinosaurs.
Aug 25 2008 Smart Goggles Help Find Stuff You've Lost
Smart Goggles not only make you look cool, they help find stuff you've misplaced.
To use the glasses, the wearer first wanders around a house or workplace for an hour or so, looking at the objects he or she may later want to find in a hurry. Each time the camera focuses on a object - such as a set of keys, a mobile phone or a purse - the wearer says the name aloud. The name is then recorded and stored into the memory.Once the names have been programmed in, the glasses will try to find the right name for any object they come across. The names appear in small type on the viewfinder. If they are unable to recognise an object they make a guess and - if they get it wrong - learn from their mistakes.
At some point in the future, if the wearer is trying to find their keys in a hurry, they simply name the object. The glasses search its video memory and show its last known location on the display.
Pretty neat concept, but I don't need any help finding my phone or keys. You see, I keep the phone in my car's cupholder, and just leave the keys in the ignit....freaking crackheads!
The Smart Goggles that could make lost keys, mobile phones or iPod a think of the past [dailymail]
Thanks Lauren, and no, I haven't seen your virginity -- but I'll keep my eyes peeled.
May 29 2008 Goofy Suit Is Actually A Musical Instrument
The Pacer Suit is a musical instrument that looks like a goofy spacesuit (because that's what it is) that I would never, ever wear -- not even if I lost a bet (I'd just renege and let them beat me up or cut my fingers off).
The Pacer suit receives electro impulses that appear when muscles are activated (movement), amplifies them and turns them into sound with the help of the sensors attached to muscles. Each impulse is goes through the sensors via amplifiers (boxes on the back) to control panel where we can control volume, type of sound, select rhythm to follow...With this suit it is possible to produce harmonious rhythm and melody by dancing. These sounds can be heard through headphones connected to the control panel (box on the front) or through the speakers connected to the control panel by infrared rays.
That's pretty neat. I bet it sounds awesome too. And by awesome I mean worse than my girlfriend's incessant blathering about how much she hates her coworkers. Speaking of which, she just pulled up. Later folks -- I'm diving out a window and running to the bar.
UPDATE: Greetings from the ICU! We live in a third story apartment.
A couple more pictures of the components after the jump.
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May 29 2008 DIY: Make Your Own Ultrasonic Batgoggles
Ever wanted to be a bat boy? Me too, but the local minor league team said I couldn't because of my club foot. So I'm going to have to settle for making my own ultrasonic batgoggles (not to be confused with lobster-vision).
What you see above is a homegrown device that enables humans to discover how bats must feel when using echolocation in order to judge how far away certain objects are. The main components are an Arduino microcontroller clone, Devantech ultrasonic sensor and a set of welding goggles.
Basically you can't see anything because of the welding goggles and the ultrasonic sensor controls audio feedback to let you know how far away something in your line of sight is (fast beeps for something close, slower for further away).
Awesome, I just built a pair and am about to give them a go. Oh wait:
Please do not wear these in hazardous environments or in traffic! These goggles are for educational purposes only and meant for controlled environments since they are intended to block your peripheral vision and regular vision so you are more reliant on auditory cues.
Ha, there's never any traffic on my street -- time to take these suckers for a spin in my girlfriend's car!
UPDATE: In retrospect they would have worked better had I busted out the windshield. Seriously though, I think a Buick is just what the neighbor's kitchen needed.
Video of the goggles in action and a link to the instructables page, after the jump.
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May 23 2008 First Person Perspective: R/C Car Comes With Camera And Dorky Looking Goggles
The VTS (Vision Tracking System) R/C car is probably the awesomest R/C vehicle I've seen in a long time (flying lawnmower excluded). The car has an onboard camera attached, which relays real-time video to your goggles so you can race with a first person perspective. Not only that, the camera moves around according to your head movements! Holy shit I want one. Unfortunately each setup (including controller, etc.) will cost you over $1,100. And then you'd have to convince a buddy to dish out the same so you can actually race. Which would be fun as hell, especially since you'll be wearing a pair of goofy-ass goggles and waving your head around like Ray Charles (see video). The goggles do lend themselves to one of my secret racing tactics though -- taking yours off and kicking your opponent in the nuts.
Another picture and a worthwhile VIDEO after the jump, but a heads up -- they set it to a song about some guy whose dog got hit by a truck and wife left him because he loves NASCAR more than her (read: country).
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Jan 4 2008 Glasses Make You See Cool, Not Look Cool
Well the Consumer Electronics Show kicks off on Monday in Vegas, so companies are getting ready to showcase their latest and greatest. And one such product is Lumus-Optical's Microdisplay Glasses. "The glasses will boast twin microdisplays and an ultra-thin LOE lens, which can purportedly immerse the wearer by creating the effect of viewing a 60-inch screen from ten feet away." Cool, so the glasses will be available for some hands on action. You know what I hope isn't there and available for some hands on action? That dude in the photo. If he's going to be there I'm returning my press pass and maintaining a three-state safe zone between me and Vegas.
Dec 10 2007 New Wine Holder Necklace Lacks Class
The Wine Holder Necklace costs $25 for two and holds a regular sized stemmed glass with a stupid looking lanyard.
Keep your hands free at parties by keeping your wine close at heart! This clever little clip with adjustable strap holds a regular-size stemmed glass to your chest, giving you the freedom to snack and socialize as you sip!
They failed to mention that it helps you achieve the look of a total freaking idiot. I will admit though: when I get drunk I do tend to forget where I left my drink. At a holiday party over the weekend I ended up accusing the host of hiding it from me and punched him in the teeth. Turns out it was in my other hand the whole time! Silly me.
Wine Glass Holder Necklace, Keeping Your Wine Close At Heart [uberreview]
