Nov 14 2009
The Million Dollar Man With The Bionic Ass
Ged Gavin, 55, has a bionic ass and doesn't care who knows. Which is good because I definitely just texted everyone in my phone. And by texted I mean sexted. All the kids are doing it. What? Yes I'd jump off a bridge!
Mr Galvin suffered massive internal injuries and had to be fitted with a colostomy bag until surgeons at the Royal London Hospital could perform the complex operation to rebuild his bottom.
The medical team took a muscle from above his knee, wrapped it around his sphincter, and then attached electrodes to the nerves.These are now operated by a palm-sized remote control that he carries in his pocket.
"They call me the man with the bionic bottom, but that doesn't bother me. My gratitude to the surgeons is endless because what they have done is a miracle."
Colostomy bag or a bionic ass, that's a tough call. I'd probably opt for a bullet in my head. Kidding, suicide is never the answer. Unless you're my ex-wife, in which case it totally is.
Man uses remote to control his 'bionic bottom' [telegraph]
Thanks to Ross, who uses a remote control to chew but is starving because he lost the thing in a couch.
Nov 13 2009 Intergalactic Beats: Star Wars Gangster Rap
This is a Star Wars gangster rap and music video created by Bent TV. It was incredibly well made except the rappers didn't seem like real mf'ing g's. They looked like a bunch of pranksters and studio gangsters. YES I GOT THE RIGHT TO RAP ABOUT THAT. Check it this little ditty I just came up with:
Princess Leia, what a ho, I tossed her down the Sarlacc HoleThem Ewoks furry, tauntauns warm, I shot up the Death Star
Then got drunk off top-shelf liquor and had sex with like 30 AT-AT's
I AM THE HARDEST! HARDER THAN THESE DIAMOND CHAINS!
ALL NEW! Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles [atom]
Thanks to Jack, Angelina, Ringo and Mark, who are all hardcore mediumcore. Not bad!
Nov 11 2009 FREEDOM ISN'T FREE: Happy Veterans Day
I'd like to take this time to thank all the brave men and women who have served this country. You're the ones that have made the freedom to write whatever I want a reality. My sincerest thanks.
Your Geekologie Writer
Nov 6 2009 Impressive: Hasbro Star Wars Diorama Contest
Unbeknownst to me Hasbro has been holding a Star Wars diorama contest. This is a sample of one of the finalists titled 'Captain Solo Awaits His Fate in the Carbon Freezing Chamber'. I would have gone with 'Hey, You Said This Place Was a Strip Club', but whatever. Hit the jump to see the rest of Han getting frozen and the four other finalists. Then, go vote if you want to. Or don't, it's no skin off my back. But I do wish it was the skin off my pudding, because I can't stand that shit. WHICH IS WHY I NORMALLY STICK TO SNACK PACKS. *ahem* Mom.
Hit the jump for a bunch more diorama.
Continue Reading " Impressive: Hasbro Star Wars Diorama Contest "
Nov 5 2009 On This Day In History
In 1955, Doctor Emmet Lathrop Brown was standing on a toilet hanging a wall clock when he slipped and beat his head on the bathroom sink. Unconscious, Doc had a vision. And that vision was that of a flux capacitor -- the device that makes time travel possible. The rest, my friends, is history. Or should I say, future? Time travel joke!
Thanks to Zach, who doesn't need roads where he's going.
Nov 3 2009 Because I Love You (But Mostly For Myself): Stunning Princess Zelda Cosplay Gallery
These pictures have probably been around for a little while because I remember seeing a couple little ones way back in this post (mind like a steel trap, baby), but I'd never seen the full set. WELL HERE IT IS. Per cosplayer Lillyxanda:
I knew I wanted to be Princess Zelda when I played the original Legend of Zelda game back on Nintendo in 1987...it took me 18 years but i finaly got around to it. The illustrator Yusuke Nakano did'nt hold back when drawing the new designs for Princess Zelda. The designs are saturated in details for these grown up classic characters. I was feeling ambitious and decided to try and replicate the design. I had the honor of posing with the best Link cosplayer Pikminlink in some of these photos.
Hit the jump for like 15 more. No need to thank me. I mean, unless you're rich. Then you can thank me with money. Contact me for my bank account info. BUT NO NIGERIAN PRINCES. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm one plane ticket to Africa away from WHIPPING YOUR ASS.
Your princess awaits....
Sep 29 2009 Good Lookin': Steampunk Arcade Machine
This is a steampunk arcade machine built from scratch by Dough Haffner, a 9 1/2 fingered carpenter (not unlike Jesus' father! No, not God. The other one). At least that's all he's lost! Because there's nothing worse than only being able to count to seven on all your fingers.
I thought I'd pass on a project I've been working on for a couple weeks. I am a Steampunk fan, to be sure...but also a fan of old horror films. I thought it would be fun to take both and combine them for a "MAME" arcade cabinet. You probably know what that is, but put simply it's an application that allows you to play arcade games (pac-man, donkey kong, etc) on a pc. By building a cabinet, you can get some of the feel and fun of the old days of playing video games at the local arcade. My cabinet combines some of the victorian elements found in steampunk with electrical mad-scientist designs from the man behind Karloff's Frankenstein lab(Strickfaden). I'm finishing up the Marquee (the machine name plate usually found at the top of a cabinet) and will post pictures of that soon....
Good looking, Doug. I don't care if you are missing a partial digit, you're alright in my book. Fun fact: I don't have a pinky toe on my right foot. Kidding, but it is broken all the time. So it's practically gone. And that, my friends, is what I blame for walking funny (but truthfully it's because one leg is longer and I stay drunk all the time).
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the impressiveness.
Sep 18 2009 Good Lookin': Mario-Insired Eveningwear
This is a line of Mario-inspired sparkling eveningwear by designer and crafster user montyfull. Nice, but where were these designs when I went to prom 10 years ago? I make sparkles look good!
So I'm a fashion major. Graduated in 2007, and just NOW got around to uploading pics of my stuff! I'm an avid gamer for life. Shooters, RPGs, PC, nintendo, Xbox... I'll play anything if I can afford it. Smiley I also don't like to take myself too seriously, so I decided that my senior collection was going to be mario eveningwear. Ya know, lots of sequins, duchess satin, chiffon, coupled with the crazy icons we know and love.
I, for one, am not ashamed to admit I'd rock the hell out of any of these designs. Plus, I'd even tape my penis to my leg. BECAUSE I'M A LADY.
Hit the jump for a close-up of the Mario face one complete with NES controller garter belt.
Continue Reading " Good Lookin': Mario-Insired Eveningwear "
Sep 8 2009 Beep Boop Bop: R2-D2 Cookies For Sale
Well folks, the holiday weekend is over. And, as much as I'd love to go back and live every second of it all over again, my time machine is broken. And by broken I mean not finished yet. BUT SOME DAY. Anyway, here are some R2-D2 cookies made by Etsy seller SugarandFlour. $13 nets you six of the beep boop boppiest delectables this side of the galaxy. JUST DON'T EAT HIS THIRD LEG. Save that for me. Now come give Obi Geekologie-aroni some kissies you sexy little droid, you!
One more shot after the jump.
Aug 13 2009 RIP: Les Paul Has Left The Recording Studio
Les Paul, famed musician and inventor, has passed away.
Les Paul, who invented the solid-body electric guitar later wielded by a legion of rock 'n' roll greats, died Thursday of complications from pneumonia. He was 94.
With Mary Ford, his wife from 1949 to 1962, he earned 36 gold records for hits including "Vaya Con Dios" and "How High the Moon," which both hit No. 1. Many of their songs used overdubbing techniques that Paul had helped develop.As an inventor, Paul also helped bring about the rise of rock 'n' roll with multitrack recording, which enables artists to record different instruments at different times, sing harmony with themselves, and then carefully balance the tracks in the finished recording.
Wow, talk about changing the face of music. Good lookin', Les. Here's to joining that great jam session in the sky.
R.I.P.
Guitar legend-inventor Les Paul dies at age 94 [yahoonews]
Jul 13 2009 You Will Be Mine, Oh Yes, You Will Be Mine: Cheeseburger Bed For Sale On eBay
Relax my little lambs, I'm alive. I apologize for not being able to post this past weekend but I've been traveling and am staying at a place with no internet (heathens!). Currently, I'm bringing Geekologie to you from an undisclosed public library near Miami, Florida (COME FIND ME, I DARE YOU!). So yeah, I didn't die and I'm sorry, okay? I swear I'll make it up to you. Nudie pics? You got em. And whatever you female readers would like as well.
So, remember the hamburger bed story Geekologie broke earlier this year? WELL IT'S FOR SALE ON EBAY AND I AM GONNA BE SLEEPING BETWEEN THOSE BUNS IN NO TIME! Now, which one of you lovely ladies wants to slide under that 8-foot sesame seedy goodness with yours truly? I'm quicker than fast food all Kobe beef, just sayin'.
Thanks to Kayla, who actually made the bed. What do you say, Kayla, one last romp in the burger? And to Aaron, who can watch but not touch.
Jun 17 2009 Gallery: Out Of This World Star Trek Cakes
We've already seen a little Star Trek cake action here on Geekologie, but, quite frankly Captain, that wasn't enough. So I'm beaming some more of those delicious bastards right up. Hit the jump to see them all, then the warp drive button. I SAID WARP DRIVE, DUMMY, THAT WAS SELF DESTRUCT! Quickly, to an escape pod! Haha, finally -- I didn't think we were ever get rid of that guy. Not you though, you're awesome.
Hit the jump for a bunch more.
Continue Reading " Gallery: Out Of This World Star Trek Cakes "
Jun 8 2009 Geekologie Reader Turns Battlestar Galactica's Number Six Into A Puppet
Now I don't want to get into a philosophical debate about the merits of banging a humanoid Cylon, but in Number Six's case, I would. Hell, I'd even do her in puppet form. What do you know -- I'm in luck! Geekologie Reader Brian (of Puppet Palpatine fame) is making a bunch of Battlestar Galactica puppets and decided to start with Number Six (Tricia Helfer). And believe me, I would totally stick my hand in that. Past the wrist.
Hit the jump for three more shots (the last one possibly NSFW depending on how your employer's felt nipple policy) and links to a huge Flickr gallery and build page (including videos).
Continue Reading " Geekologie Reader Turns Battlestar Galactica's Number Six Into A Puppet "
May 29 2009 Mega Man In Partial 3-D: Mega Man 2.5D!
This is a little video demo of Mega Man 2.5D, which is a Mega Man game in partial 3-D that I believe some guy is actually making. Which....is it wrong I got a boner? Wait -- don't answer, I want to savor this.
Hit the jump for another, longer video.
Continue Reading " Mega Man In Partial 3-D: Mega Man 2.5D! "
May 28 2009 Those Look Fragile: Eggshell Speakers
A guy named Gomhi (who may or may not own chickens) went and made himself some speakers out of a pair of eggshells and Hi-Vi B1S drivers. As you can see, they probably remind you of boobs. Because you're a serious pervert (no amateurs here!). Blah blah blah [insert joke about being careful not to fry your speakers here]. Blogging: I am good at it.
Amazing DIY speakers made of eggshells [dvice]
Thanks to Octopus Pie, anon and Shelly, who prefer their speakers with a side of bacon.
May 5 2009 Guy Make Fully Functional Wolverine Claws
Not to be outdone by the Tomahawk Skull Gauntlet, some guy went and made his own fully functional Wolverine claws out of a bunch of copper tubing and sharp metal. They're surprisingly impressive and make pretty short work out of a cardboard box. Which, I think we can all agree, is humanity's real enemy. *SNIKT* Die, tree-zombie!
Hit the jump for a longer video of the assembly and dude giving them the ol' block of Styrofoam test (starting around 3:00).
Continue Reading " Guy Make Fully Functional Wolverine Claws "
Apr 28 2009 Awesome Commercial For Philips 21:9 TV
This is short film entitled 'Carousel' (which has a very Dark Knight feel) meant to highlight Philips' new CINEMA 21:9 aspect-ratio television. I embedded it in high quality too, because it's awesome and I love you and don't just want to get in your pants (ignore that hand).
On its own, it clocks in at a (totally coincidental) two minutes and 19 seconds, but Berg conceived it to work as an endless loop. Visitors to the microsite therefore have the option to spin through the films single take shot repeatedly, to stop on a specific frame, or to watch it at the preordained speed. The film also contains embedded hotspots, which, when triggered, transport the viewer seamlessly from the heavily posted film to a behind-the-scenes version of the same shot. This constant moving between two layers of reality proved one of the projects biggest and most ambitious production challenges. Other details of the online execution play off the cinematic theme; the microsites loader doubles as a credit sequence, while rich media takeover banners drive traffic to the site by teasing viewers with an original Carousel trailer. All aspects of the production, from the film shoot to web design and development, were conducted by Stink Digital.
If you want to see the video in higher definition, go to the Philips site. If you don't, then you get your fix here. Personally, I thought it was awesome. Like watching two animals having sex in a nature documentary, except about as far from that as possible.
Thanks to Matt, who once cried riding a carousel as a kid because he couldn't catch up with the horse in front of him.
Apr 24 2009 Best Business Cards Ever: Meat Cards
Meat Cards are business cards with your info burnt into them using a 150 watt CO2 laser. They are far superior to card stock for obvious reasons (read: meat and lasers).
Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients: MEAT AND LASERS.
Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.
Mmmm, meat and lasers: definitely two of the finest ingredients on earth. PEW PEW, NOM NOM! Now, blast me in the eye with your laser pointer right as I swallow. What? Don't judge me.
Thanks to Chloe and Julian for eating all my cards. No, really, thanks a lot guys.
Apr 22 2009 Music To My Ears: Old Computer Parts Performing Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody'
Some guy went and programmed a whole bunch of old computer parts to perform Queen's iconic 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. You just have to see it to believe it. But, you can read this first if you want:
No effects or sampling was used. What you see is what you hear (does that even make sense?)
Atari 800XL was used for the lead piano/organ sound
Texas Instruments TI-99/4a as lead guitar
8 Inch Floppy Disk as Bass
3.5 inch Harddrive as the gong
HP ScanJet 3C was used for all vocals. Please note I had to record the HP scanner 4 seperate times for each voice. I tried to buy 4 HP scanners but for some reason sellers on E-Bay expect you to pay $80-$100, I got mine for $30.
Ha -- and you probably thought your computer was musically inclined. Think again, sucker -- your shit just got Beethoven'ed out of the water! I'm talked like BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM -- BUM-BUM-BUM-BOOOSHED, son!*
*That was Beethoven's 5th for you uncultured bitches.
Thanks to meeotch, Jake the Ripper, Tyson and killerabbit, whose computers can't even play video games. Sad shit, guys.
Apr 22 2009 How To Pick Up Men: Nintendo In A Purse
Let's face it, there are few things in the world men respond more to than boobs. And fast cars. And vaginas. And beer. And fireworks. And dinosaurs. And guns. And meat. And meat guns. And sports. And power tool guns. Oh, and video games. So if you're a lady looking to score some attention from the lesser sex, but aren't ready to go topless (I urge you to reconsider), you may want to mod yourself a Nintendo purse.
Thanks to modder Jeri Ellsworth's creation, nerds everywhere finally understand the purpose of the purse. Hers has a built-in LCD and two velcro-on NES controllers for some on-the-go Super Mario Bros.
The guts of the purse are made from one of those system-on-a-chip deals that modders worldwide are so fond of, and the screen is just taken from a portable DVD player.
The system also has a Commodore 64 on a chip and some other basic computing capabilities. Which....is that Joust? ZOMG, Jeri, tell me you're in the DC area -- I'll meet you out for a drink! And not just to steal your purse. Okay, to steal your purse. Don't hate -- I look good with a manbag!
Video demo of the purse after the jump.i
Continue Reading " How To Pick Up Men: Nintendo In A Purse "
