Nov 18 2009 Awh Yeah: Superhero Shaggin' Wagons

This is a little gallery of superhero shaggin' wagons. They're all Photoshopped, but that isn't stopping me from wanting to sleep in one. Gosh, I can't even remember the last time I made love in the back of a 70's van BECAUSE I BLACKED OUT LAST NIGHT. But seriously, I barely knew the guy and he said he had free candy.

Hit the jump for five more and a link to like six more after that. Jackpot!

Continue Reading " Awh Yeah: Superhero Shaggin' Wagons "

Nov 13 2009 Yes...YES!: Tyrannosaurs Doing It Dino-style

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. Except I'm not so much talking as fantasizing. God I'd love to be in the middle of those two. Ha -- I guess I AM talking about it! Now one of you put those little arms to use and make me a sandwich.

Tyrannosaurus skeleton casts mounted in a mating position, Jurassic Museum of Asturias [wikipedia] (high-res version)

Thanks to Kelly, who just convinced me to buy a one-way ticket to Asturias, Spain.

Nov 12 2009 Pfft, I Knew That: Staring At Breasts Is Good For Your Health, Prolongs A Man's Life

This is probably entirely fake and a giant hoax but I don't care because, well, breasts. Also -- don't question my journalistic integrity or I will swell your eyes shut so bad you'd be lucky to squint a nipple.

According to German research published in New England Journal of Medicine, men staring at women's breasts in fact prolong their lives with years.

"Just 10 minutes of looking at the charms of a well-endowed females is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out," said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

The team led by Weatherby was made up of researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, and found this results after monitoring for 5 years the health of 200 male subjects, half of whom were asked to look at busty females daily, while the other half had to abstain from doing so.

For five years, the breasts oglers presented a lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and decreased risk of coronary artery disease.

I'm gonna be immortal! Kidding, I don't stare at breasts because I'm a gentleman and wear a top hat. But for the rest of you, go for it. You can start HERE (slightly NSFW, giant tank-topped boobs). I know, it's like a fountain valley of youth, right?

UPDATE: FAKE. But don't let that stop you from trying. Maybe you're the exception.

Looking at Breasts is Healthy [wholefitness]

Thanks to T. Brian, who is probably the healthiest man alive.

Nov 11 2009 Awesome: Grand Theft Auto Meets Frogger

Youtube user daneboe, the same guy who created the Contra vs. Duck Hunt and Mortal Kombat vs. Donkey Kong videos is back at it, this time with some Grand Theft Auto vs. Frogger action (and bonus Sonic vs. Pac-Man after the jump!). And, as I've come to expect, they are awesome. Not as awesome as that time I drove my Big Wheels through a pile of burning leaves, but not everything awesome ends with a trip to the ER. Only the really REALLY awesome ones.

Hit the jump for Sonic vs. Pac-Man.

Continue Reading " Awesome: Grand Theft Auto Meets Frogger "

Nov 11 2009 Why Not?: Interchangeable Mustache Pillow

The $60 Mr. Moustache pillow is a pillow that comes with interchangeable mustaches for the dapper bastard on the front. They're made by Etsy seller salliyenglanddesign and are fun to kiss, even if your roommate is watching. Don't be jealous just cause I gotta man!

The delightful Mr.Moustache pillow comes with four interchangeable velcro moustaches (Fu Manchu,trucker,gentleman,& salt 'n'pepper!) and a clear plastic storage pocket on the back!

Each velcro moustache is hand trimmed from faux fur, and each Mr.Moustache pillow is handmade in the s.e.d studio in Grand Rapids, Michigan!

Cool. I bought a pair so I can pretend I'm sleeping between two guys. But I make them wear different mustaches because sleeping with twins would be weird. And by weird I mean awesome. I can't quit you -- or you!

Hit the jump for two more shots of the irresistible handsomeness.

Continue Reading " Why Not?: Interchangeable Mustache Pillow "

Nov 6 2009 2 Princess Leias Sunbathing In Golden Bikinis

Because it's Friday and I love you, here's Princess Leia in her golden bikini. But not just any Princess Leia, THE Princess Leia. Plus another one!

Here you can see Carrie Fisher in her metal bikini alonside Tracy Eddon, her stunt double in Return of the Jedi. Both are suntanning between takes on the deck of Jabba's Sail Barge

Click the jump to see an even better picture of the duo. Aaaaand I'm going to assume everybody immediately hit the jump and save myself from having to write anything else here boner boner boner.

Tell me you hit it already.

Continue Reading " 2 Princess Leias Sunbathing In Golden Bikinis "

Nov 1 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Driving Around In A Half-Car

Ever wanted to see some crazy Serbian driving around in car that's been cut in half? Then today's your lucky day! I kept waiting for him to flip the thing over on himself but the physics weren't there. And speaking of crazy Serbians: I used to know one. He drove a bright yellow VW GTI with a matching smiley face air freshener hanging from the rearview and an AK-47 in the trunk. I never rode with him.

Youtube

Thanks to alex, who claims he could do the same thing with a 1/4 car.

Oct 30 2009 NASA's Ares Rocket Breaking Sound Barrier

This is a beautiful shot (super high-res version HERE) of NASA's Ares rocket taken earlier this week just as it broke the sound barrier. Pretty awesome, huh? Just imagine if you were sitting on top. WHEEEEE!!

What you're looking at is called a "shock egg," or the Prandtl-Glauert singularity, or a shockwave that compresses air and forces the vapor out of it. You see this kind of stuff a lot in photographs trailing behind fighter jets, but it's especially awesome when it happens to rockets. According to NASA, the shot was taken by one Scott Andrews, who used a Canon of some sort.

Hell yes, shock egg. Now tell me -- which do you think came first: the supersonic chicken or the shock egg? Trick question! Dinosaurs.

Ares rocket's 'shock egg' in mind-blowing clarity [dvice]

Oct 29 2009 Another Halloween, Another The Same Couple Of Guys Dressed As Giant iPhones

Have a spare flat-screen television sitting around and want to trick-or-treat as a giant iHole iPhone? Me neither. But these two guys did (who, it turns out, are the same cats in this video with their 2007 iPhone costumes), and more power to them. And by more power I mean less candy. GET OFF MY LAWN!

Youtube

Thanks to Bryan, ViLLaiN, ashlyn and Chrissy, who will be trick-or-treating as total badasses. (No costumes necessary)

Oct 28 2009 Just Ordered Two Cases: Dinosaur Condoms

That's right, dinosaur shaped condoms. Available from Willy Wardrobe (probably NSFW, but also has a bunch of other novelty condoms), each Stegosaurus E-Rex will set you back £2.50 (~$4) and is not recommended for re-use (even though you and I both know you totally will anyway).

A bit of a sexual fossil? Then this dinosaur condom is for you!

Warning: Sold as novelty only. Product may be used during intercourse although there is no guarantee that it will prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

Also, not responsible for lost spines.

Okay, so I made that last part up. Still, you've got to wonder. WONDER WHY NOBODY WAS MAKING THESE EARLIER! Plus, they like a perfect fit to me. Pfft, don't even act like your penis doesn't have feet too.

Product Site

Thanks to Starchitect, Ezrail, david, DatsMark, Xavire, Ross, John, sara, Jody and clipper, for knowing me all too well.

Oct 28 2009 Good Friends: I'm Afraid That's What You Get

Don't even act like you didn't deserve it.

Twilight Saga: And so it begins... [lamebook]

Thanks to pstone, who always remembers to take his shoes off before passing out.

Oct 27 2009 Delicious Memories: An Awesome 80's Cake

This is an awesome 80's cake that combines elements of this cake, this cake, sort of this cake, and these blue bastards. Really takes you back, doesn't it? I remember watching Smurfs. And I, for one, am not ashamed to admit that I know you had a crush on Smurfette. She's not even your species! Plus blue! *high five*

Hit the jump for closeups of the different elements.

Continue Reading " Delicious Memories: An Awesome 80's Cake "

Oct 26 2009 That's It, I'm Moving To Dinosaur, Colorado

Unbeknownst to me there's an actual town in Colorado named Dinosaur, making it one of the coolest places in the continental United States -- right up there with Anti-robot, West Virginia! Plus, all the road names are dinosaur themed. Now I can't decide if I want to live on Triceratops Terrace or Brontosaurus Boulevard! What's a boy to do? Make love to city hall? Get out of my brain!

Google Maps

Thanks to Sir Roman the Galiant, pants and Kristin, who live in Aliens, Nebraska, Zombie, Arkansas and Vampire, Illinois, respectively.

Oct 21 2009 Anvil Launching: The World's Manliest Sport

Anvil launching is probably the world's manliest sport in front of great white hunting with a soggy pencil. I just happen to excel at both. And this is Gay Wilkinson, the self proclaimed anvil launching world champion about to send one skyward. Hit the jump for a video of the anvil in action (skip to 1:20 for the actual launch), then get out there and shoot your own dangerously heavy objects in the air. Just remember: what goes up is probably going to come down on a bystander. Happy launching!

Hit it for the video.

Continue Reading " Anvil Launching: The World's Manliest Sport "

Oct 14 2009 Live Action Mario, Lou Albano, Dies At 76

Some of you whippersnappers may be too young to remember the awesomeness that was the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, a 52-episode series that come out in '89. But I do, because it was on tv, and tv was my only friend (plus on Fridays there were Zelda cartoons!).

Wrestling fans know him as the WWE Hall of Famer who managed more than 50 wrestlers in his day, with more than two dozen championships won by athletes taken under his wing. 80's music fans might remember him from his appearances in many Cyndi Lauper music videos, including "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", "She Bop", "Time After Time" and "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough." As gamers, we of course remember him as the best live-action Mario of all time.

Sadly, Lou Albano passed away today at 76. He will be missed.

Opening credits to the show on Youtube HERE.
Entire show HERE.

Live-Action Mario Dead At 76 [kotaku]

Thanks to Doctor Steel, Aisha and Gabriel, who promise to send flowers to the funeral. Good looking, guys -- but they better be fireball flowers and not Piranha plants.

Oct 14 2009 Build Your Own Roller Coaster Ride At Disney

No this isn't Roller Coaster Tycoon, this is real life! The "Sum of all Thrills" is a new ride at Disney's Epcot Center that allows children to design their own roller coasters and then ride them in a virtual reality environment with the aid of a giant robotic arm. I smell vomit! No, seriously -- I think a cat puked under the bed.

Epcot on Wednesday opened a new attraction called "Sum of All Thrills," which lets kids use computer tablets to design a virtual roller coaster, bobsled track or plane ride. After inputting their designs, kids climb into a robotic carriage that uses virtual-reality technology to help them experience the ride they've created.

"This is really the next generation -- where there's a lot more personalization involved" in the amusement-park experience, said Eric Goodman, Disney's lead project manager on the ride.

Cool. Of course, I question how much customization you'll actually get to do (I want 30 loopty-loops in a row!), or how much you should actually trust a child with anyway (100% of 0). Just saying, I have the feeling a lot of coasters are gonna end with a giant robotic arm slamming you into the ground repeatedly. YOU KIDS WILL NEVER BE IMAGINEERS!

Hit the jump for a better shot of the last thing you'll ever climb inside.

Continue Reading " Build Your Own Roller Coaster Ride At Disney "

Oct 7 2009 I Want One: A Dinosaur Head Belt Buckle

I can't remember the last time I had a dino's head so near my genitals because I'm like that guy in Memento, but if I were a betting man I'd say it was sometime last night. But now you can have that happy feeling all the time thanks to this t-rex head belt buckle designed by Kieselstein-Cord.

The t-rex buckle in sterling silver by Kieselstein-Cord. The piece measures 3 1/4 inches by 2 1/4 inches. $2,500.

Wait, did that say $2,500? Because that's ridiculous. I could get you a real dino head belt buckle for that price. Just sayin', I know people (Doc Brown).

Product Site

Thanks to Blackrider23, FutronicX, Dylan and Raptor on a hoverboard, who don't need belt buckles because they don't wear pants. Enough with the pictures guys, I get it.

Oct 6 2009 Cool!: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pizza Party

Looks legit to me.

Picture [ozozo]

Thanks to Jessica, who doesn't care if there's rat fur in the pizza, she's going.

Oct 2 2009 Google Search AutoComplete To The Rescue

I do that shit all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.

Google (go type "I like" to see for yourself)

Thanks to b00m, who likes to tape a bedsheet to his arms and pretend he's a pterodactyl.

Sep 25 2009 Whee!: Beer Blaster Shoots Beer, Soda

The Beer Blaster is a $23 beer/soda pistol available from ThinkGeek that punctures a shaken can and uses the carbonation to blast your enemies with sticky sodie (or a friend's open's mouth with delicious beer) from up to 10 feet. Also, who would have thought that Harry Potter would turn from a life of magic to a life of contributing to the delinquency of minors on the playground? Didn't see that one coming! Or did I? I totally did.

ThinkGeek Product Site
via
Beer Blaster [likecool]

Thanks to Ste, who once shot himself in the face with a keg and was the life of the party. But did you wear a lampshade and piss in the stove?