Oct 17 2009 Europa Has Enough Oxygen To Support Life?

So apparently one of Jupiter's moons, Europa, might have enough oxygen to support life. Well that's cool BECAUSE I'M TOTALLY MOVING THERE. Who's with me? You better shower!

The global ocean on Jupiter's moon Europa contains about twice the liquid water of all the Earth's oceans combined. New research suggests that there may be plenty of oxygen available in that ocean to support life, a hundred times more oxygen than previously estimated.

The chances for life there have been uncertain, because Europa's ocean lies beneath several miles of ice, which separates it from the production of oxygen at the surface by energetic charged particles (similar to cosmic rays). Without oxygen, life could conceivably exist at hot springs in the ocean floor using exotic metabolic chemistries, based on sulfur or the production of methane. However, it is not certain whether the ocean floor actually would provide the conditions for such life.

Hell yeah, Europa -- I've always wanted to visit Holland! Do they really wear those wooden shoes?

Jupiter's Moon Europa Has Enough Oxygen For Life [physorg]

Thanks to Kelly, who can come with me provided she steer the spaceship while I get drunk and puke out a porthole.

Oct 1 2009 Huge Cache Of Dinosaurs Eggs Found In India

In promising dinosaur-cloning news, hundreds of football-sized Sauropod eggs have been uncovered in India. Secretary, book me a flight! Oh, wait, they're all infertile. Secretary, cancel that flight and order me a pizza!

"The important finding is that these eggs have been found in different layers that means the dinosaurs came to the place over and over year after year," he said.

"The second important thing is that we have got volcanic ash deposits on the eggs which suggests that volcanic activity could have caused their extinction.

"The other thing we have found is that all these eggs are unhatched and infertile. So what made the eggs infertile? We need to carry out further studies to learn more from the findings."

Dr Ramkumar and his team have called on the central and state governments to protect what they are calling a "Jurassic treasure trove".

Hell yes, Jurassic treasure trove. That's better than pirate gold in my book. And my book is awesome and has COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS OF ME BONING DINOSAURS (tasteful ones). Just saying, go ahead and send the Caldecott to my parent's house.

Dinosaur eggs are found in India [bbcnews]

Thanks to Spikey DaPikey and Awesome Saucer, who have a time machine and may or may not be responsible for some of those eggs (read: the eggs are infertile so I suspect they are).

Aug 22 2009 New World Of Warcraft Expansion Coming

The latest World of Warcraft expansion, Cataclysm, is coming and there are gonna be lots of exciting new things to play and do. Plus, there's a wolf-people race. That's right: wolf people. OW OW OOOOOOOOOOOW!

* Two New Playable Races: Adventure as one of two new races--the cursed worgen with the Alliance or the resourceful goblins with the Horde.
* Level Cap Increased to 85: Earn new abilities, tap into new talents, and progress through the path system, a new way for players to improve characters.
* Classic Zones Remade: Familiar zones across the original continents of Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms have been altered forever and updated with new content, from the devastated Badlands to the broken Barrens, which has been sundered in two.
* New High-Level Zones: Explore newly opened parts of the world, including Uldum, Grim Batol, and the great Sunken City of Vashj'ir beneath the sea.
* More Raid Content than Ever Before: Enjoy more high-level raid content than previous expansions, with optional more challenging versions of all encounters.
* New Race and Class Combinations: Explore Azeroth as a gnome priest, blood elf warrior, or one of the other never-before-available race and class combinations.
* Guild Advancement: Progress as a guild to earn guild levels and guild achievements.
* New PvP Zone & Rated Battlegrounds: Take on PvP objectives and daily quests on Tol Barad Island, a new Wintergrasp-like zone, and wage war in all-new rated Battlegrounds.
* Archaeology: Master a new secondary profession to unearth valuable artifacts and earn unique rewards.
* Flying Mounts in Azeroth: Explore Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms like never before.

OMG, OMG -- I'm soooooo gonna be the first level 85 Worgen! AND THEN I'M GONNA COME BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN, THREE LITTLE PIGS STYLE. Afterward, a luau.

Official Site

Thanks to Pedro and lauren, who already have level 90 Worgens because they're from the future.

Aug 10 2009 Holodeck Coming Soon: Touchable Hologram

That's right folks, a fully functional Holodeck may be just around the corner. Using a combination of hologram and ultrasound technologies, a group of Japanese scientists have created a touchable, feelable 3-D image. Imagine the possibilities! I'm looking at you, Princess Leia.

Using ultrasonic waves to provide the resistance and tactile presence, the hologram simulates the sensation of rain drops or a small ball, all without interfering with the projected 3-D image. A couple of Wiimotes provide the tracking, and the programing provides the fun.

That's actually pretty freaking awesome. And I, for one, can't wait to see the long term, practical applications of this new technology (read: porn and video games).

Tokyo Scientists Create Touchable Hologram [popsci]

Thanks to Mih0, Will, eazie, Pete, Brocknoviatch and Daryl, who all prefer real life touching. Good, now rub my back.

Jul 15 2009 Geekologie: Legit News Source Cited By CNN

This is the part of the day where I toot my own horn *BLAAAAAT!* because Geekologie is so awesome. So, you remember the post about the texting teen that fell into a manhole? Well CNN cited Geekologie (action is at 0:30) in a television news story about the incident. SHAZAM! Now who's a legitimate news source? This site. Oh, breaking story! -- Geekologie Writer named world's greatest lover. Run with it, CNN.

Texting Accidents: Running Into Posts, Tangled In Dog Leashes [huffingtonpost]

Thanks to Jonathan, who saw the report in the airport and nearly lost his luggage.

Jun 10 2009 New Futuramas Coming To Comedy Central

Sad they stopped making new Futurama episodes? Well cry no more my puffy-eyed compadre, Comedy Central just signed a deal for 26 new episodes beginning mid-2010!

When the series returns with original episodes in 2010, it will be seven years after the show's last original episode aired on Fox. That's a much longer hiatus than the three years Family Guy spent on the bench before being summoned back by Fox.

All key voice cast members are expected to return for the new episodes, along with the series' core writing team.

Nice, now I can finally reignite my love-hate relationship with Bender. Good to see you again buddy, wanna drink? What am I saying -- I'll kill you! Unless you have naked pictures of Leela, in which case, BFFs!

I'll kill you in your sleep.

Comedy Central gives Futurama new future [abc]

Thanks to Rigo, Nick, Julian and Sarah-Ashton, who have never received a package from Planet Express on time.

May 7 2009 Good News: Disney Relocates Employees Normally Responsible For Finding And Deleting Boobs In Roller Coaster Pictures

You know how there's a camera that takes a picture of you on the steepest drop of a roller coaster? And then the park tries to peddle said photo after you get off the ride? Yeah, well Disney used to have boob-scanning personnel that would look at all the pictures before they appeared to patrons so no child would catch an eyeful. But now, thanks to the economy, not any more! So get out there and flaunt it! Boobs. I'm talking boobs, not penises.

And, since I love you, I included the NSFW NSFW NSFW uncensored version of the picture above after the jump.

Continue Reading " Good News: Disney Relocates Employees Normally Responsible For Finding And Deleting Boobs In Roller Coaster Pictures "

May 5 2009 We Are Not Alone: Alien Skull Spotted On Mars

That's right folks, we now have 100% conclusive evidence there are, in fact, dead aliens on Mars. Or rocks, possibly just rocks.

Internet forums are full of chatter about the picture, taken by a panoramic NASA camera known as Spirit.

One alien-spotter speculated: "The skull is 15 cm with binocular eyes 5 cm apart. The cranial capacity is approximately 1400 cc.

"There appears to be a narrow pointed small mouth, so this creature most likely is a carnivore."

Another joked: "The coronal ridge shows ample structure to support the musculature of antennae, although none are visible in this view.

Joke now, but it's all fun and games until you wake up with an antennae in your you-know-what. And by 'you-know-what' I mean your girlfriend -- she's gonna cheat on you with an alien. Hey, don't cry, film it.

'Alien skull' spotted on Mars [telegraph]

Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck and Julian, whose relationships with Martian lovers have all ended the same: with them getting the shaft. The cold, metal shaft.

May 3 2009 Dinosaur 'Blood' Extracted From Fossils

And I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna be Jurassic Parking it before you can say, "Geekologie Writer, are you sure you want to go into the raptor pen?" To which I will reply, "oh I'm sure. I'm sure".

A dinosaur bone buried for 80 million years has yielded a mix of proteins and microstructures resembling cells.

[Scientists] report recovering not just collagen - which conveys little evolutionary information because it is the same in almost all animals - but also haemoglobin, elastin and laminin, as well as cell-like structures resembling blood and bone cells. The proteins should reveal more about dinosaur evolution because they vary much more between species.

Haemoglobin baby! This particular fossil came from a hadrosaurid (duck-billed dinosaur), so I guess I'm boning them first. But hopefully they'll be able to score some blood from one of those flying bastards. 65 million years in the making, The Geekologie Writer joins the mile-high club.

First dino 'blood' extracted from ancient bone [newscientist]

Thanks to b00geyman, who better not be hiding under my bed tonight. And to Zmann966 and trishna87, who are celebrating an anniversary today. Happy anniversary guys!

Apr 27 2009 It's Scientific: Bacon Cures Hangovers

In a study that surprises nobody who's woken up still Tyrannosaurus Wrecked from the night before in a puddle of someone else's urine and eaten the breakfast of gods, scientists have discovered bacon really does cure a hangover.

"Bread is high in carbohydrates and bacon is full of protein, which breaks down into amino acids. Your body needs these amino acids, so eating them will make you feel good."

"Bingeing on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters too, but bacon contains a high level of aminos which tops these up, giving you a clearer head."

Researchers also found a complex chemical interaction in the cooking of bacon produces the winning combination of taste and smell which is almost irresistible.

As a matter of fact, I remember reading somewhere in the Bible that the Apostles would all fry camel (a close relative of the pig, don't bother looking this up) after a night of boozing. So, yeah -- bacon: it's what Jesus would do.

Also, that's me in the picture.

Bacon sandwich really does cure a hangover [telegraph]

Thanks to The Baconator, Kevin, Rick, Cam, Duffman, Jonathan and Barry, who know the best way to cure a hangover is to start drinking again.

Apr 22 2009 Scientists Find Watery, Earth-Like Planet?

Earth Day Fools! Oh, wait, no. Apparently this is real, and only 20.5 light-years away! Ladies and gentlemen -- start your rocket engines. PSSSSHOOOOOOOOW! PEW PEW.

The Gliese 581 planetary system now has four known planets, with masses of about 1.9 (planet e, left in the foreground), 16 (planet b, nearest to the star), 5 (planet c, center), and 7 Earth-masses (planet d, with the bluish colour).

Michel Mayor, a well-known exoplanet researcher from the Geneva Observatory, announced the find today. The planet, "e," in the famous system Gliese 581, is only about twice the mass of our Earth. The team also refined the orbit of the planet Gliese 581 d, first discovered in 2007, placing it well within the habitable zone, where liquid water oceans could exist.

Planet Gliese 581 d, is that really the best they could do? GIVE IT A REAL DAMN NAME ALREADY. I propose Waterworld. And speaking of which, that was a hell of a movie, was it not? Oh, I'm getting a "no" from The IWatchStuff Writer. But he had gills, man, gills!

Nearly Earth-sized Planet, Possible Watery World Spotted Near Another Star [universetoday]

Thanks to Morgana, who, for an Earth-related tip on Earth Day, wins a free trip to Gliese 581 d, just as soon I finish my rocketship.

Apr 3 2009 Tuantaun Sleeping Bag Becoming Reality?

As you may recall, ThinkGeek cruelly offered a tauntaun sleeping bag as an April Fool's joke, just to break your heart. Well, because of the overwhelming demand for such a product, Thinkgeek has decided to look into actually having them made.

ATTN Tauntaun Fanatics!

Due to an overwhelming tsunami of requests from YOU THE PEOPLE, we have decided to TRY and bring this to life. We have no clue if the suits at Lucasfilms will grant little ThinkGeek a license, nor do we know how much it would ultimately retail for. But if you are interested in ever owning one of these, click the link below and we'll try!

If you go to the product site you can click on the link that says 'Email me IF available' to be notified if they actually get made. But one thing's for sure: if they're getting made, I'm getting laid (in one). Ever made love inside a tauntaun? It's warm. And squishy.

Product Site

Thanks to roflbot (who I may still kill despite the tip) and Allison, whose tauntauns could easily make to the second marker before freezing.

Feb 26 2009 I Knew It!: Violent Video Games Helps Prepare Children For The Coming Apocalypse

This is an Onion News roundtable discussion on the benefit of children playing violent video games. And as I suspected, violent games do, in fact, prepare the world's youth for the coming apocalypse.

Playing video games all day, alone and friendless, is simply the best way we have to prepare our children for a life of solitude in a barren wasteland.

Finally, somebody speaking some sense. So fret not, parents, buying your children violent video games might just provide them with the know-how they need to survive in the the future. Or, I dunno, bring a gun to school. Either one.

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse? [theonion]

Thanks to Mister Tiddles, who I think might be a cat.

Jan 13 2009 President-Elect Barack Obama Plays Wii

That's right folks, the soon-to-be president is rocking a Wii. And thank goodness too, because in an earlier interview Barack claimed the last video game he'd played was Pong. So yeah, whew.

Barack Obama reportedly said he's better at the Wii version of bowling than he was at the real thing while on the campaign trail in Pennsylvania last year.

This knowledge is courtesy of a passing reference Thursday by a New York Times blogger, who buried it in his last paragraph, unaware that the Wii news, rather than Obama's (accurate) prediction that Florida would win college football's championship game, would light up the Internets the next day.

So, Barack, maybe you could add me to your friends list. Then our Wii Miis could parade together. That would be fun, wouldn't it? Also, quick question: are you man enough to play wrist-strapless? Because I am. Isn't that right, Superficial Writer? Ha, your TV was a piece of shit anyways.

Barack Obama's family gets a Wii video game system; so what does his Mii look like? [chicagotribune]

Thanks to Lisa, who is chock-full of Wii win.