Nov 19 2009 About Time!: Improved Steering Wheel Desk

We saw another steering wheel desk here on Geekologie quite some time ago, but I think we can all agree this is a much improved model. First of all, you can write/type at a normal angle and not the angle of the actual wheel. As a matter of fact, I'm using one now, and I've got to admit: it's quite comfortable. Secondly, HOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Hit the jump for a bunch of other worthwhile product shots.

Continue Reading " About Time!: Improved Steering Wheel Desk "

Nov 17 2009 There's Got To Be An Easier Way: Guy Uses Crane-Lifted Lawnmower To Trim His Hedge

In a feat of extreme-mowing, two men in Cambridge, New Zealand used a crane to lift a lawnmower high enough to trim one's overgrown hedges. Nice, guys, I like the way you think -- EXXXTREME!!

The operator, who did not want to be named, is now nursing a broken hand, but said it wasn't a fall from the mower that caused the injury but one off the crane.

He admitted it was not the safest method of trimming the hedge, but said it was all done as a bit of a joke.

They wanted to film the stunt, put it on the internet and see how many hits it got, but in the end had no video camera.

That, my friends, is pathetic. Not only a broken hand BUT NO VIDEO. WTF?! I demand a re-do. But this time with fireworks shooting out the back. Oooh, and bikini girls. Plus more injuries. I suggest fraying the cables and loosening the mower blade. YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE CENTURY! And I want producer credit.

High rider trims his hedge [stuff]

Thanks to Patrick, who trims his hedge the old fashioned way: with a straight-razor. Yikes!

Oct 27 2009 How To: Never Lose Your Remote Again

If you can manage to lose this remote you're doing something seriously wrong. Or drinking a lot, in which case you're actually doing something seriously right. What a dichotomy!

Dad's Lost The Remote For The Last Time [thereifixedit]
via
Never lose your remote control again with this simple, cheap DIY solution [crunchgear]

Thanks to jules and DaveS, who only use the controls on the television because they lost their remotes. Should have had them grafted to you like I suggested!

Oct 27 2009 A Real Comic Book Character For Halloween

This is a picture of a woman who is Halloweening as an actual comic book character. You know, like the way a woman would look in an oldschool comic -- with the crappy dot printing and all. Except, in this case, she actually looks pretty good. Granted not as good as I'd look as a comic book character, but I'd draw myself with giant shirt chain-mail ripping muscles and a laser cannon. Did somebody say dinosaur mount? Plus dinosaur mount. Did you know my handsomeness is actually considered a super power? Because it is.

Hit the jump for several shots of the makeup going on.

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Oct 12 2009 Good Ideas: Roofie Detecting Lip Balm

2 Love My Lips is $16 lip gloss that comes with test strips to determine if your drink has been roofied with drugs like GHB or Ketamine. It's a smart idea and I urge everyone to keep a close eye on their beverages at all times (and not just because I'll ninja-drink that shit, but I 100% will).

"If a drink tastes funny, or you are suspicious something is amiss simply dab the ends of the taper in your drink and if they turn blue tell your friends immediately and get help from Security and the Police."

Seriously, roofies are no laughing matter and if you suspect your drink's been spiked I want you to ask me to chug it. BECAUSE I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU. Knight in shining armor? No, I'm trying to forget that bad.

Drug Detecting Lip Gloss Sniffs Out Roofies [gizmodo]

Sep 29 2009 It's About Time: A Bacon Of The Month Club

Hell yeah a bacon of the month club. Truthfully, I only thought there was one kind of bacon (delicious), but what do I know? I'm just a man who has all his meals prepared for him by a non-robotic bartender. Anyway, for a staggering $315 you can join the Grateful Palate BOTM Club and get:

- A different artisan bacon delivered to your door each month for 12 months

- Informative notes on all bacon selections
- Discounts on The Grateful Palate bacon products and bacons
- Bacon of the Month Club Membership Card
- The bacon strip - our members only monthly bacon comic strip
- The Bacon of the Month Club Pig Ballpoint Pen
- A little Rubber Toy Pig
- One free Bacon Tee Shirt
- A recipe each month using the bacon selected
- Discounts on suggested wines and products in recipes
- And a pig nose!

Wow, I don't need half that stuff. How much for just the bacon, membership card and comic strip? Because I'm willing to go as high as $28. Just sayin', that's more than $2/month -- I don't even pay that in child support. Yay for aliases!

The Grateful Palate Bacon of the Month Club

Thanks to kyle, who should start a sexy of the month club cause damn he looks good.

Aug 4 2009 Folding Bike Fits Within Circumference Of Tire

24-year old inventor Dominic Hargreaves has designed and built a bike that folds up to the size of the bike's wheels. Not as impressive as a bike that folds up into its own squeaky horn, BUT NOT EVERYONE IS THIS GENIUS.

"I couldn't find a folding bicycle I liked...I wanted something that could take a bit of punishment and that you could have fun with. So I made one myself."

Mr Hargreaves has been in contact with various manufacturers and hopes to get the bike into production soon.

Cool. I've never ridden a folding bike before because I value my safety, but I have ridden a bike with no seat before. It was good times. For both of us.

Inventor's Bike Folds Into Its Own Wheel [yahoonews]

Thanks Pete, now get your top men on a folding jetpack STAT.

Jul 7 2009 Laser LightLane Creates Your Own Bike Lane

You know what I hate about bicycling? All the pedaling. I have tiny chicken legs and can't even pedal my Big Wheels to the mailbox without running out of steam and crashing into the azaleas. But for your hardier folk, the LightLane is a little laser system that attaches to your bike and provides you with a laser-line bike lane wherever you go. Clever idea. Now are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "no officer, I was not swerving, I was following the bike lane," you are!

LightLane

Thanks to Rogefgv, Romeo and Mandy, who ride those bikes with the giant ass wheel in the front and the little tiny one in the back. Because they're oldschool killas.

Jun 16 2009 Well It's About Freaking Time: Beer Pouches

CarboPouches are pouches made to be filled with delicious life-nectar. They were designed by the Beverage Pouch Group (not to be confused with Capri-Sun) for nanobreweries (read: you) that don't want to invest in expensive bottling equipment.

The best part is the "organoleptic film structure" that doesn't change the taste of the beer at all. The slightly flexible pouch gives the beer room to fizz, and it's easy to fill with the cap on the bottom.

I don't care if they find out organoleptic film causes cancer, I am gonna drink the hell out of these beer pouches. BEER ON THE GO BABY. Move over, disposable coffee cup!

Beer in a pouch doesn't add metallic tastes, easy to fill [dvice]

Thanks to Romeo, who drinks his beer the way God intended: all day long.

Jun 12 2009 Skinny Blonde: Australian For Sexy Beer

Skinny Blonde Beer comes from Australia and has a skinny blonde chick on the front of the bottle that, when the temperature gets hot enough, loses her top. And, to give you a demo of this model of modern boobosity, they have the six chicks in the picture above to provide NSFW examples. So, head over to the website (provided you're over 18, or under and don't mind sinning) and give it a go. After watching just the first girl I ordered 30 cases of the stuff. Also, I might have just gotten stuck in a bottle. BWHAHAHAHAH A -- like it's that big!

Skinny Blonde Beer NSFW

Thanks to jlcnuke, who agrees this beer/boob combo is giving explosions and boobs a run for its money.

Jun 7 2009 WoW Gold Farming Website Pays $500K For Tattoo Ad On Adult Film Star's Ample Chest

Russian adult film star Anna Morgan (seen above, possibly named after that chick in The Ring) was paid $500,000 to get a tattoo on her natural DD breasts advertising a World of Warcraft gold-selling website. Ah, capitalism. Also, breast advertisement ever.

The WoW Gold selling website, MyMMOShop.com has paid Russian porn star Anna Morgan to tattoo their company's logo and website URL to her breasts. The company feels that her natural dd sized breasts will provide an ample space for the advertisement. Given the number of films porn stars tend to make in a year's time, the tattoo should be seen many thousands of times. Anna has agreed not to alter the tattoo for at least two years.

Wow, I don't know what to say. This is simultaneously the most brilliant and saddest thing I've ever heard. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry or try to motorboat my monitor. BWUBWUBWUBWWUB! I chose wisely.

Porn Star Paid $500,000 To Tattoo Company URL & Logo To Her DD Breasts [newsguide]

Thanks to Troy, who once ran a Snuggie ad on his junk. The rest, is history.

Jun 2 2009 Best Website EVER (Geekologie Excluded)

Explosionsandboobs.com is just that. Explosions. And. Boobs. That's it. Every time you visit you get one shot of an explosion and one of sweater melons. Nothing to read (minus "and"), just awesomesauce in its rawest form. BOOM! Boobs. Just like that.

Explosionsandboobs

Thanks to jonat8han, who has a crazy ass numeral in the middle of his name. And to D-Bizz, who doesn't.

May 27 2009 Runpee: It Is Now Safe To Leave The Theater

Runpee.com is a website database of movies currently in the theater with notations that let you know when it's a good time to run to the bathroom. As you can see, this is the runpee chart for Terminator Salvation, which features several opportunities to drain your dragon. Of course, some would argue any time is good because the movie sucked. I wouldn't know, I haven't seen it BECAUSE I HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE SLEEPING ALREADY. Also, I don't like leaving my seat during a movie, so you know what I do? I use a catheter. Except I definitely don't because I would pass out from the thought before I even had my pants down. Which is why the last movie I saw in the theater was Cars. Not even kidding.

Runpee

Thanks to Randi, who just asks for an empty cup from the concession stand.

May 8 2009 Pillow Laptop: Working Never Felt So Zzzzz

This is a pillow that looks like a laptop. It's nonfunctional (as a computer, fully functional as a sleep aid), but soft. I don't even know if they're for sale, but let's be honest, you wouldn't buy one if they were. Oh you would? *yelling down to the basement* Say, it doesn't have to be sweatshop free, does it? Anyway, I think we can all agree this laptop brings new meaning to the phrase, "passing out on your laptop and puking into the keys and then it catching fire and torching your eyebrows off", doesn't it? Well I think it does.

This Is the Best Laptop in the World (Or At Least the Softest) [gizmodo]

Thanks to trishna87, who once fell asleep on a netbook and woke up in a web. Spiderman is an online predator.

May 7 2009 Good News: Disney Relocates Employees Normally Responsible For Finding And Deleting Boobs In Roller Coaster Pictures

You know how there's a camera that takes a picture of you on the steepest drop of a roller coaster? And then the park tries to peddle said photo after you get off the ride? Yeah, well Disney used to have boob-scanning personnel that would look at all the pictures before they appeared to patrons so no child would catch an eyeful. But now, thanks to the economy, not any more! So get out there and flaunt it! Boobs. I'm talking boobs, not penises.

And, since I love you, I included the NSFW NSFW NSFW uncensored version of the picture above after the jump.

Continue Reading " Good News: Disney Relocates Employees Normally Responsible For Finding And Deleting Boobs In Roller Coaster Pictures "

May 4 2009 Cool: Sampling Youtube To Make New Songs

What you are about to see is a mix of unrelated Youtube videos/clips editing together to create ThruYou. In other words - what you see is what you hear.

This is the first one of seven different tracks, so if you like it go check out the others. And if you don't, well, no one cares. But don't let that stop you from leaving a Geekologie comment complaining about it. We'll all pretend to care and/or believe you could do better, won't we guys? Guys? Ha, I guess we won't. Suck it!

ThruYou

Thanks to Riki, Amir and Patrick, who once sampled over 100 different candies in one day and all got tummy aches.

Apr 24 2009 Couple Marries Dressed As Shrek & Fiona

In a story that nearly set my cockles ablaze, an English couple recently got married dressed as Shrek and Princess Fiona. Awwwwwww.

Hospice nurse Christine England, 40, married her fiance Keith, 44, in full costume and make-up in front of 100 guests who were also in fancy dress.

The new Mr and Mrs Green (yes, really), of Barnstaple, Devon, had spent three hours having their make-up done before walking down the aisle.

Christine said: 'The idea just came to me. I knew what we would go as because Keith looks just like Shrek.

Wow, way to kick a man in the balls, Christine. You might as well have gone as Andy Carmichael and asked him to go as Sloth. Goonies FTW! Do you, sir, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? "HEY YOOOU GUUUUUYS!"

Hit the jump for several more of the beautiful couple, the last of which is totally fapable.

Continue Reading " Couple Marries Dressed As Shrek & Fiona "

Apr 22 2009 Best Nintendo DS Case Ever? Hint: Yes

This is by far the best Nintendo DS case ever crafted. If you can't tell by the censor block I put over the picture, they're boobs. But not just any boobs. Really soft looking ones. I swear, we get a picture of Jessica Chobot licking this and BOOM!: the cover of TIME Magazine. For the next thirty years. Also, peace in the Middle East.

Hit the jump for the uncensored picture.

Continue Reading " Best Nintendo DS Case Ever? Hint: Yes "

Apr 22 2009 How To Pick Up Men: Nintendo In A Purse

Let's face it, there are few things in the world men respond more to than boobs. And fast cars. And vaginas. And beer. And fireworks. And dinosaurs. And guns. And meat. And meat guns. And sports. And power tool guns. Oh, and video games. So if you're a lady looking to score some attention from the lesser sex, but aren't ready to go topless (I urge you to reconsider), you may want to mod yourself a Nintendo purse.

Thanks to modder Jeri Ellsworth's creation, nerds everywhere finally understand the purpose of the purse. Hers has a built-in LCD and two velcro-on NES controllers for some on-the-go Super Mario Bros.

The guts of the purse are made from one of those system-on-a-chip deals that modders worldwide are so fond of, and the screen is just taken from a portable DVD player.

The system also has a Commodore 64 on a chip and some other basic computing capabilities. Which....is that Joust? ZOMG, Jeri, tell me you're in the DC area -- I'll meet you out for a drink! And not just to steal your purse. Okay, to steal your purse. Don't hate -- I look good with a manbag!

Video demo of the purse after the jump.i

Continue Reading " How To Pick Up Men: Nintendo In A Purse "

Apr 21 2009 Jones Is Back With An Even Better Business

Remember Toby Jones of Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage? Well he's back with another genius business idea, this time in the form of Jones' Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage. As you can see from the video, they even have fried dinosaur. Which, at least in my opinion, is just plain wrong. I'm no black widow!

Jones' Good Ass BBQ And Foot Massage [jonesbigasstruckrentalandstorage]

Thanks to my brother SuperFrank, who almost burnt the house down trying to fry a porkchop sandwich. My God did that smell good.