Sep 21 2009 The World's Most Expensive Booze (Bottle)

The world's most expensive booze is (and I did absolutely no fact checking about this) is a bottle of Chambord valued at $3.24 million. That's too much.

Donald Edge has created with French company Chambord a £2 million bottle of their liqueur to celebrate the new stage version of Breakfast at Tiffany's.

The iconic Chambord Royal orb bottle, hand-wrought from 18 carat yellow gold, will be encrusted with the finest round pearls, over 1,100 exquisitely cut round and pear shaped diamonds, and a square cut emerald diamond.

So, how much if I just want the booze (I've got plenty of empty two-liters!)? Cause, at least according to the Virginia ABC website, they're selling 750ml bottles for $35.50. That means I can get 91,267 bottles for the exact same price! And you know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do. Glug till I die, bitches!

Chambord Bottle Worth $2 Million [luxuo]

Thanks to Fran, who drinks unicorn blood out of a jewel-encrusted goblet because he doesn't know they're an endangered species.

Aug 9 2009 No, Wrong, No: $32,000 Golden Computers

I don't care if a computer can run a real-time simulation of the Big Bang while playing Crysis at the highest settings and rendering a HD home movie you made of the neighbor's dog humping a stray cat, it shouldn't cost $32,000.

Gaiser High End Design PCs range from $7,820 to $32,300, and it isn't because they've got such great components. No, it's because they have 24 carat parpartial gilding with gold leaf.

Yeah, no. Although, I DID just think of a computer that is worth $32,000. It's called my old laptop, and I'll even sign it for you. And, not to get your hopes up, but it may contain some nudey pics (I'll make sure it does).

Jul 7 2009 Michael Jackson To Be Buried In Gold Casket

Michael Jackson, donning his last piece of flair (possibly a Bedazzled glove), will be buried in a 14-karat gold coffin only befitting of a king (of pop. Alternatively, Neverland).

The $25,000 container from Batesville Casket Company ("because every family deserves a Batesville") is made of solid bronze, plated with 14-karat gold, and polished to a mirror finish. It's the same model in which James Brown was buried. No question about it, it'll be the fanciest coffin in the graveyard.

You know, when I go I want to be buried in my rocketship. And by buried I mean launched into the sun. And by "when I go" I mean I'm pushing the button now. I'M OUT BITCHES, PEACE!

Michael Jackson to be buried in 14-karat gold coffin [dvice]

Jun 24 2009 A Match Made In Plastic: A LEGO Proposal

We've all heard about LEGO themed proposals in the past (most of them choking hazards), but Ryan Wood went about it a little differently. Namely, by presenting his bride-to-be with a giant LEGO ring containing an actual engagement ring inside its clear diamond. Wow, how romantic (read: be thankful she said yes). Now, as a guy who has been married in the past -- and isn't in a relationship anymore, I've got to admit: ladies? Tip me. Literally -- I've been working hard for you!

Nothing Says "I'm a Dork, Marry Me" Like a Giant Lego Wedding Ring [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian and m0h, who proposed at the zoo right when a monkey was drinking its own urine. *swoon*

Jun 14 2009 Golden: ZOMG, WTF Are Those Things?!

Impressive, but mine drag on the pavement.

Loose In DC Tonight: The Mother of All Truck Nutz [wonkette]

Thanks to Spoonman, who may or may not want to give this vehicle a physical.

Jun 7 2009 WoW Gold Farming Website Pays $500K For Tattoo Ad On Adult Film Star's Ample Chest

Russian adult film star Anna Morgan (seen above, possibly named after that chick in The Ring) was paid $500,000 to get a tattoo on her natural DD breasts advertising a World of Warcraft gold-selling website. Ah, capitalism. Also, breast advertisement ever.

The WoW Gold selling website, MyMMOShop.com has paid Russian porn star Anna Morgan to tattoo their company's logo and website URL to her breasts. The company feels that her natural dd sized breasts will provide an ample space for the advertisement. Given the number of films porn stars tend to make in a year's time, the tattoo should be seen many thousands of times. Anna has agreed not to alter the tattoo for at least two years.

Wow, I don't know what to say. This is simultaneously the most brilliant and saddest thing I've ever heard. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry or try to motorboat my monitor. BWUBWUBWUBWWUB! I chose wisely.

Porn Star Paid $500,000 To Tattoo Company URL & Logo To Her DD Breasts [newsguide]

Thanks to Troy, who once ran a Snuggie ad on his junk. The rest, is history.

May 31 2009 Custom Optimus Prime Ring Has Ruby Eyes

This is a fully custom Optimus Prime ring created by deviantartist =Dans-Magic for a client. BLING BLING YOU DECEPTICON MOTHAJAMMERS!

A 14k custom piece. 50 hours from start to finish.

didnt want to put in the rubies but he wanted them. Originally I had carved the triangle eye sockets but it got wiped out with the setting of the stones.

I molded it to make some without stones (stones optional)

Awesome, I want one for every finger. So seven. Damn you, shop class!

Hit the jump for a another shot of the ring and what it looks like made as a pendant.

Continue Reading " Custom Optimus Prime Ring Has Ruby Eyes "

May 22 2009 Queen Of England Gets Gold-Plated Wii

The Queen of England was presented with a gold-plated Wii as part of a publicity stunt to hype up new title Big Family Games, which I have the feeling is gonna suck so hard.

BIG Family Games is the ultimate Wii game to get all family members, from grandparents to young children, playing together. The Royal Family is arguably the most important family in the country so we felt that they had to have a copy of the new game ... But we thought that Her Majesty the Queen wouldn't want to play on any old console, so an extra-special gold one was commissioned. We hope that she and the rest of the Royal Family enjoy the game!

Exciting news, huh? What do you expect folks -- I'm blogging from the effing beach. Yeah, and I just had sex with a mermaid! Of course, I was pretty drunk so it could have just been a big fish. Or *crumpling Subway wrapper* a tuna melt. What? OVEN BAKED SUBS NEED LOVE TOO!

THQ sends the Queen a gold-plated Wii [geek]

Thanks to Edwin, van, Riri, Watch-303 and catch22, who don't need gold-plated Wii's because of platinum you punk bitches.

Apr 9 2009 Now That's What I Call Class: The Gold Mouse

The Gold Bullion Wireless Mouse (not to be confused the the piratey USB hub) is actually plastic. Which is why it costs $35 and not $35 gajillion. To its credit though, it does have a scroll wheel. But still, why anybody would actually pay for this garish piece of bullionshit (count it) is beyond me. That said, I bought one as a gag gift for The Superficial Writer. He loves this kind of crap. And also, American Idol.

UPDATE 1 YEAR LATER: ZOMG, The Superficial Writer left a gold brick on his desk -- I'm gonna be rich!

Gold Bullion Wireless Mouse only looks like a million bucks [engadget]

Thanks to Julian and Oscar The Slouch, who are far too classy for those tuxedo-print t-shirts. Right guys? Right?

Mar 27 2009 Sure, Why Not?: 'I Do' Wedding Bands

'I Do' wedding bands were created by Sakurako Shimizu and are similar to waveform bracelets but much more matrimonial. They were cast in palladium and 18K gold and feature a waveform version of the words "I do". Of course, if you were smart you'd sneakily have an "I don't" cast. That way, when you're caught groping another woman's teat at the bar you can just point to your ring and mouth the words "I don't" to your wife, who may or may not douse you with a Jager shot and stiletto you in the nads. But hey, boobs ARE the spice of life. And also, glitterstim. Now who's down for a Kessel Run?

Hit the jump for another pic and a link to artist's website, which also features a pretty badass Atari chip ring.

Continue Reading " Sure, Why Not?: 'I Do' Wedding Bands "

Mar 17 2009 These Beats Are Sooo Fresh: The Ocarinas Of Rhyme, TWO Different Zelda Rap Albums

That's right folks: not one but TWO different rap albums set to the beats of Zelda games dropping on the same day -- with the same name! What are the odds? Pretty good considering one of the guys (Sleaze) thinks his idea was stolen. Anyway, first there is Team Teamwork Presents The Ocarina of Time, which features the music of Hyrule and Zelda games set to raps by famous artists. But then there's Sleaze's (who may or may not be this guy) Ocarina of Rhyme with all original raps by himself. So, who will slay Gannon? Who will win Hyrule? And who will bang Zelda while the other plays with himself in the Lost Woods while that creepy kid with the mask watches? You decide.

Hit the jump for audio samples of each, and the links to download (for free).

Continue Reading " These Beats Are Sooo Fresh: The Ocarinas Of Rhyme, TWO Different Zelda Rap Albums "

Mar 17 2009 No, Those Aren't Gaudy: Golden Speakers

Everybody knows gold makes for quality audio cable and connectors, but how does it fare as an actual speaker exterior? Pretty freaking ugly if you ask me. But England's Gold Acoustics seems to think there's something to it, because their GA Star line of speakers come complete with gold plating. These things would look great in your house right next to me kicking your ass, don't you think? No word on cost, but I'm going to go out on a limb and....AAAAAAAAAAAAHH! *thud*

Add some bling to your audio rig with Gold Acoustics speakers [dvice]

Mar 2 2009 Oooh, Yellow-y: Pittsburgh Steelers Case Mod

Somebody went and made a Pittsburgh Steelers computer case modeled after the team's helmet. This is it. It glows yellow to make your room look like you've got a secret gold stash in there or the briefcase from Pulp Fiction. Sadly, I'm not allowed to watch sports anymore because my doctor says they make me lash out at the television. Which is true, I do. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, YOU STUPID GIT!? I SWEAR, IF I COULD FIND YOUR REMOTE I WOULD BEAT YOU WITH IT! HEY, TURN OFF THAT CLOSED CAPTIONING OR....THAT'S IT *bodyslam!* Haha, how'd that feel, you jerk? Great, you're leaking plasma on my new carpet.

Hit the jump to see the keyboard, which is awesome (take a look at the keys).

Continue Reading " Oooh, Yellow-y: Pittsburgh Steelers Case Mod "

Feb 27 2009 Rad To The Power Of Sick $2.5 Million iPhone

That's right folks, a ridiculously stupid $2.5 million iPhone complete with 18-carat gold, 160 small diamonds, and topped off with a 6.6-carat behemoth as the home button. The piece is called the 'King's Button' and is available now if you want it. But, if you're looking for something a little cheaper, forget the King's Button, I've got your Peasant's Joystick right here -- $2.75.

World's Stupidest, Most Expensive iPhone Mod Yet Costs 2.5 Million Dollars [gizmodo]

Feb 25 2009 Girl Vlogs About Going To Anime Convention Sweet Looking Super Famicon Zelda Mod

Contrary to popular belief (and this sweet white jacket), I am not a medical expert. Apparently that Katsucon chick has some condition. I just thought she was a witch. Please accept this apology for being a dick and feel free to stone me if it makes you feel better. But remember: people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw orgies. Anyway, in chick's place is a Super Famicon decked out Zelda style. It's green in places, gold in others, and has a nice blue glow underneath. Also, a little Master Sword and over 100 comments already.

Holy Triforce: SNES Zelda mod is awesome [slipperybrick]

Thanks to N!9htR3@p3r, not to be confused with N!9htR@p3r, who is thankfully behind bars.

Feb 24 2009 Okay, Sure: A Golden AT-AT iPod Dock

Not to be outdone by yesterday's AT-AT boombox, some cat went and made an AT-AT iPod dock. Which is basically an AT-AT toy with an electronic turntable glued to the side and spray painted gold. Neat. Might be just the thing I need to add a little geeky flair to my bedroom. Just saying, I made buttermilk pancakes for breakfast. With sprinkles, bitches. Who's gangster?

Hit the jump for two closeups.

Continue Reading " Okay, Sure: A Golden AT-AT iPod Dock "

Feb 13 2009 Where's The Gold?: The End Of A Rainbow

This is the end of a rainbow as captured by Jason Erdkamp on his iPhone while traveling down Highway 241 in Orange County, California. Are the leprechauns in the back of that SUV?

But Jason, from the Los Angeles suburb of Lake Forest, said: "There was no pot of gold, but I did win $25 that night on a lottery ticket."

What do you mean "no pot of gold?" How the hell is there no gold? Clearly, it's buried. I'm gonna rent a backhoe and uproot that road. I wanna know where the gold at. I want the gold. Give me the gold. I want the gold.

Photographer captures the end of the rainbow on his iPhone - amazing picture [mirror]

Thanks to Richie-Con-Carnie, who drew the amateur sketch.

Jan 26 2009 Big Pimpin' Hyrule Style : Golden Zelda Bling

Damn, now why didn't I think of that? Oh wait, I did. Screw you you bearded copy-cat, I am the OG!

Gold Zelda Cartridge Bling [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Pablo and Jack, who can only afford silver cartridge bling because they aren't filthy rich like me.

Jan 22 2009 Forget Rubik's, I Want A Yoshimoto Cube

A Yoshimoto Cube is actually two separate cubes nested together. The technical terminology for the change is "the transformation of two stellated rhombic dodecahedrons from a cube". Honestly, I just like listening to this guy's voice. It's soothing, like a homicidal maniac's.

Youtube

Thanks to OJ's Mom, who once transformed a stellated cylinder in his pants into a dodickahardon IN YO FACE!

Jan 16 2009 Not Impressed, And I Typically LOVE Elf Ears

The Gelfin Ear Tip is a brass (not even gold!) piece of jewelry made to insert into an ear piercing so you can look like an idiot. And trust me folks, I'm not saying that to be rude -- I freaking love a good looking elf-ear. This just isn't one of them. And especially not for $260 per ear. You're better off just cutting your ears and spraypainting them gold. Which is exactly what I did two days ago. That's right -- and from now on you will only refer to me as Findecáno Calmcacil, the Elf King of Geekologie. Also, I think the ear infection has spread to my brain.

UPDATE: Whew, false alarm -- just a little gold spraypaint in my blood-alcohol stream. I'm pissing riches!

Bijules NYC "Gelfin Ear Tip" [highsnobette]

Thanks to Amanda, who, unlike you guys, doesn't need elf ears to turn me on.