Oct 31 2009 FYI: This Is How Geekologie Gets Written
I was sitting on it the whole time!!
Picture [thechive]
Thanks to Uberscooter, as badass as a scooter can be.
Sep 16 2009 Booze The Way God Intended: Boob Ice Luge
If God didn't want us drinking from boobs our whole lives, then why did he make them so appealing in adulthood? Also, why don't dinosaurs have nipples? These and many other life changing questions will be answered in my forthcoming tell-all, "The GW: A Life of Blogging". But honestly, when I first saw these $25 Boob Ice Luge molds I didn't even know what I was looking at. And did that stop me from ordering 20? No, my bank account balance did. But I still got 12!
Are you tired of your boring old Ice Luge? Planning a racy bachelor party and need an exciting way to chug your alcohol? Then you need this fabulous Boob Ice Luge! Just fill the breast mold with water, and in two days, you will have two rock hard boobs waiting to be filled with an alcoholic beverage of your choice!
"Rock hard boobs". Wow, that was a turn off. Don't get me wrong, I'd still drink out of them all night, I just wouldn't hang around after the party and try to take them home with me. Yes, yes I would. I don't even care if the nipples melt off!
Hit the jump for the uncensored shot.
Continue Reading " Booze The Way God Intended: Boob Ice Luge "
Jul 21 2009 Blue Beer From Melted Icebergs, Seaweed
The Japanese, in their unending quest to make the awesomest stuff on the planet (minus robots), are manufacturing blue beer made from melted icebergs (take that you Titanic sinking bitch!). And, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I have already had colored beer on St. Patty's day before. It made my throw up green!
Okhotsk Blue Draft stands out for its cool color and interesting (yet not off-putting) ingredients. The brew is made using water melted from icebergs that float each year onto Hokkaido beaches from the chilly Sea of Okhotsk, an arm of the North Pacific ocean bordered by Japan and Russia.
Then Abashiri went one step further and used seaweed to give their brew and icy blue tint. Perhaps not the greatest selling point but it does make Okhotsk Blue look, well, different. As for the taste... reports state that Ryuho isn't at all bad as beers go, and if you didn't know there was seaweed in it, you likely wouldn't guess there was.
Abashiri also manufactures red and green beers (picture after the jump) because, honestly, what better way to teach your children their colors? Son, fetch daddy another purple one. I said purple, this is blue -- YOU WILL NEVER BE A PAINTER!
Hit the jump for a shot of the other colors and a commercial for the beer.
Continue Reading " Blue Beer From Melted Icebergs, Seaweed "
Jul 8 2009 Problem Solved!: Turning Urine Into Hydrogen
Finally, I can sleep at night: scientists have discovered a way to turn urine into hydrogen. And you said I was crazy for collecting it in milk jugs!
From a group led by chemist Gerardine Botte of Ohio University comes a report (just published in the Royal Society of Chemistry's journal Chemical Communications) that hydrogen has been produced from urine.
According to a July 3, 2009 story on PhysOrg.com, "Urine's major constituent is urea, which incorporates four hydrogen atoms per molecule -- importantly, less tightly bonded than the hydrogen atoms in water molecules.""Botte uses electrolysis to break the molecule apart, developing an inexpensive new nickel-based electrode to selectively and efficiently oxidise the urea. To break the molecule down, a voltage of 0.37V needs to be applied across the cell -- much less than the 1.23V needed to split water.
So, you know what this means, right? Wait for it....wait for it....the P-bomb. Thanks folks, I'll be here all week. Make sure to tip your bartender and maybe steal a bottle for me when they're not looking. *tap tap* Haha, is this still on?
21st-century alchemy: Hydrogen from urine [bookofjoe]
Thanks to towhee, who pees in swimming pools.
Jun 23 2009 Wine Balls: Not Just For Sommelier Orgies
Tired of drinking wine straight from the bottle? That was rhetorical -- it never gets old. But N2Wine decided to make these Wine Globe systems anyways. Cheers, Jesus. Want to teach me how to fish?
Wine globes are glass containers capable of holding 33 or 70 bottles of wine (depending on the size) that are specifically designed to thwart oxidization, the chemical reaction that ages wine, by preventing any air from entering the system. Instead, the globes vino-filled spheres constantly topped off by "food-grade" nitrogen when liquid levels deplete, essentially freezing wine's flavor in time.
The wine is also under constant water-cooled temperature regulation so that it's served perfectly every time and, obviously, the system can offer more wines by the glass than most restaurants currently offer.
Each globe costs about $1,000 but can be run in line off the same nitrogen tank, making them still not worth it. No, I'll be sticking to my boxed wine, thank you very much. Literally, I glued it myself. Ever played Edward Fortyhands? You should try Bernard Boxarm.
Wine Globes Swap Tastings for Keggers [gizmodo]
Jun 21 2009 WoW Mountain Dew Game Fuel Commercial
This is a television advertisement for Mountain Dew Game Fuel: World Of Warcraft. I don't want to spoil it for you, but I'm going to: two chicks turn into World of Warcraft characters and start battling right there at the grocery store checkout. Obviously, I would do them both. AFTER transformation ;)
Youtube
Thanks to naas, who once Chaos Bolted an old lady in the face for cutting in line at the checkout.
Jun 12 2009 Skinny Blonde: Australian For Sexy Beer
Skinny Blonde Beer comes from Australia and has a skinny blonde chick on the front of the bottle that, when the temperature gets hot enough, loses her top. And, to give you a demo of this model of modern boobosity, they have the six chicks in the picture above to provide NSFW examples. So, head over to the website (provided you're over 18, or under and don't mind sinning) and give it a go. After watching just the first girl I ordered 30 cases of the stuff. Also, I might have just gotten stuck in a bottle. BWHAHAHAHAH A -- like it's that big!
Skinny Blonde Beer NSFW
Thanks to jlcnuke, who agrees this beer/boob combo is giving explosions and boobs a run for its money.
Jun 12 2009 What Fridays On Geekologie Should Look Like
Look around. Does your desk area match the one in this picture? If not, you're doing it wrong. This is a picture of Geekologie loyalist naas's Friday interweb setup entitled 'fridays on geekologie'. And as you can see, the man really knows how to internet. After all, this is a website best viewed in squinting one-eyed resolution. Vomit optional.
naas' Flickr Stream (with a bunch more booze and a ton of shots from Japan)
Thanks to naas, who urges you all to please, Geekologie responsibly.
Jun 9 2009 Mountain Dew Is Back With WoW Game Fuel
You may recall a couple years ago when Mountain Dew came out with a special edition Halo-themed soda called Game Fuel. You may also recall It tasting like shit and the Geekologie Writer suing because it made his penis shrink (it was visible before, I swear). Well now they're back with two World of Warcraft inspired game imbibe-ables.
The Horde drink is reddish orange and packed with "a blast of citrus cherry". Nice, guys -- God knows orcs probably love that citrus cherry flavor. The Alliance beverage is blue and "packs a punch of wild fruit flavor". Ironically, so do I. Both drinks are available now and guarantee to be packed with previously unheard of amounts of performance reducing yellow #5. Mmmm.
Thanks to PsychoSane13, who can't make up his mind and probably leaning towards psycho. Also, the red drink.
Jun 3 2009 For Questionable Sale: Ghosts In Bottles
Want a pet ghost but too big a wuss to kill somebody in your own house? Well you're in luck, because now you can buy bottled ghosts for a scant $20. Just don't drink them!
Each Ghost is captured from a reported haunted establishment, (house, hotel, ship, cemetery, etc), by our Ghost Hunters.
We seal the ghost in it's own bottle. The bottle is sealed for your protection.You may release the Ghost at your own discretion and at your own risk.
The Ghost in the Bottle is contained mysteriously and is therefore sealed with wax shortly after the Ghost is caught. The bottle is sealed for your protection. It comes with very important information . We supply the Ghost, you supply the name. Individual Ghost experiences may vary as "Each Ghost is Unique"!
Pfft, bottled ghosts. Like a ghost couldn't get out of a damn waxed bottle if it wanted to. THEY'RE NOT GENIES YOU IDIOTS. I swear, some people don't know supernatural shit.
Thanks to Roger, who actually has a genie in a bottle and her name is Christina.
May 21 2009 Astronauts Drink Urine, Love Every Drop
Well if those aren't the happy faces of three urine-guzzling fools, I don't know what are.
At the international space station, it was one small sip for man and a giant gulp of recycled urine for mankind.
Astronauts aboard the space station celebrated a space first on Wednesday by drinking water that had been recycled from their urine, sweat and water that condenses from exhaled air. They said "cheers," clicked drinking bags and toasted NASA workers on the ground who were sipping their own version of recycled drinking water."The taste is great," American astronaut Michael Barratt said. Then as Russian Gennady Padalka tried to catch little bubbles of the clear water floating in front of him, Barratt called the taste "worth chasing."
"The taste is great". "Worth chasing." Yeah, maybe worth chasing with a glass of battery acid. Just kidding, I'm sure urine is delicious. Like mine, but with less alcohol and cherry pits. *pew pew*
Cheers! Crew drinks up recycled urine in space [msnbc]
Thanks to Jon, who just ordered a case of the stuff because he loves outerspace.
May 5 2009 But Wait, There's More: Beer Pong Trick Shots
This is like 900 hours of beer pong trick shot footage cut down to 3:41. I'm sure most of you will hate it, but there will always be a soft spot in my heart for college-aged boys playing with their ba...ba...ba...buddies. Haha, you thought I was gonna say balls. I HAVE WHAT THEY CALL SELF CONTROL! Also, a Master's degree in Geekologie. mE=mcAwesome!
Thanks to Dave, who, for the tip, can play on my team at the weekly beer pong tournament at Orange Ball in Rockville, MD. Airfare not included, sorry buddy.
Apr 28 2009 They'll Never Find It!: Powdered Alcohol
I've known about powdered alcohol for a while now because I remember reading an article about powdered wine being available to campers (also great for water into wine tricks!). *HORF* Just kidding, I'd totally drink it. But now it's hitting the mainstream, and soon you'll see powdered alcohol mixes popping up everywhere (read: your teen's bookbag).
No word on price or availability just yet, but rest assured they'll be a ton of companies jumping on the 'sneaking alcohol into church/school' bandwagon. Which, honestly, I've been doing for years. Now I know what you're thinking, "But how, Mr. Geekologie Writer?" And the answer to that, my disciple, is in my stomach. In a tied-off balloon. Next to all the coke.
Product Page
and
Product Page (coming soon)
Thanks to Mars, who once beat the shit out of Mercury for orbiting funny.
Apr 21 2009 Cocktails For The Trekkie Boozehound
Let's face it, even Trekkies like to get all crunk on spacejuice and get into Vulcan Death Grip fights at the bar. Completely understandable. These are only two of ten Star Trek inspired cocktails, so be sure to hit the jump to see eight more. Then make one. However, I was a little sad to see there was no Red Shot (with significantly increased chance of death). Or Khaaaaanikazi. Or 3 Buttery Nipples.
Also, you show me a bar that actually keeps figs in stock and I'll show you a guy whoring himself out for drinks. Ha, or you can tell The Superficial Writer yourself, whatever.
Hit the jump for the rest. You'd howl too if your figs were frozen. Anybody?
