May 4 2009 Tattooed Barbie: You're No Daughter Of Mine!

Mattel's new 'Totally Stylin' Barbie doll comes with a bunch of sticker tattoos you can apply all over her forehead and neck to make her look way more totally stylin'. Make her a little R2-D2 backpack and that is one fine piece of plastic ass (note to self: verify Barbie's age before using this). Plus, the doll comes with a fake tattoo gun and ink tattoos so your daughters (and sons) can apply tattoos to themselves! Shockingly, some parents aren't cool with the idea.

Barbie-maker Mattel has said the tattooed Barbie provides a way for kids to "be creative" with the doll. Some parents, naturally, see it differently, suggesting that a "Totally Pierced Barbie" or a "Divorce Barbie" could come next.

As for the tattooed Barbie, Mattel says it's selling better than expected and there are no plans to pull it from the product lineup.

Personally, I don't care, but that may just be because I don't have any daughters. No, I'm the proud father of three very handsome boys (woman always on top). Just kidding. But now that you know how they're made, ladies?

Tattooed Barbie Stirs Up Controversy [inquisitr]
and
Amazon Product Page

Thanks to Steven, whose daughters are only allowed to play with G.I. Joe's.

Mar 17 2009 Soccer Moms Outraged At Grown Up Dora

Apparently Mattel and Nickelodeon rolled out an image of a new "tween" Dora the Explorer last week and a lot of soccer moms are super pissed she's not the chubby little midriff-flashing five year-old she used to be. So Nickelodeon had to fire back.

"I think there was just a misconception in terms of where we were going with this," Gina Sirard, vice president of marketing at Mattel, says. "Pretty much the moms who are petitioning aging Dora up certainly don't understand. ... I think they're going to be pleasantly happy once this is available in October, and once they understand this certainly isn't what they are conjuring up."

"The reason for creating this new Dora line is to offer an alternative to moms who want their daughters to stay little girls, a little longer," the statement concludes. The Tween Dora doll comes with a USB port and is compatible with online story lines.

First of all, who cares. And secondly, Dora's mom, and this is just between you and me -- I think she's taking Fen-Phen.

New Tween "Dora The Explorer" Revealed [ohnotheydidnt] (with some pretty funny comments if you're bored)

Thanks to Duran, who's still pissed his children's show Tucker the Spelunker never took off.

Feb 5 2009 Idiot Tries To Strangle Girlfriend With Wiimote

In the latest of video game-themed attacks, a guy tried to strangle his girlfriend with the cord of a Wiimote. And I'll tell you -- he even LOOKS like the kind of guy that'd try to strangle someone with a video game controller. What a quarter-pound of fail.

An Austin man has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend with the cord of a Wii video game controller after she became angry that he had eaten all of her Girl Scout cookies, according to an arrest affidavit.

The two struggled until they ended up in the living room, where Alvarez grabbed a Wii controller, according to the affidavit. Alvarado was able to free herself and call 911. Alvarez fled the home but was arrested soon after.

First of all, you don't ever try to strangle a woman, that's pathetic. And secondly, if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that you never, ever, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, come between a woman and her Girl Scout Cookies. You're lucky to be alive, Alvarez, now kill yourself.

Man accused of choking girlfriend with Wii controller [statesman]

Thanks to Jordan, who once tried to choke his roommate with a PS3 controller. The plan was doomed from the start.

Oct 2 2008 Aaaaaaah!: Scary Ass Robot Girl

This is a robot girl named Repliee R-1. She's an android built by Osaka University and based on an actual 5-year old girl. And I think I speak for everyone when I say they chose their model pretty freaking poorly.

Liveleak

Thanks to Firuz, Tytus, Jake, and Justin, who all agree the only good robot is -- wait, there are no good robots.

Feb 19 2008 Man Creates Lamp Powered By Gravity

2007 Virginia Tech graduate Clay Moulton recently won second place in the Greener Gadgets Design Competition in New York City for the Gravia gravity lamp. According to my dictionary gravity is defined as "The natural force of attraction between the earth and my penis that makes it drag on the ground when I walk."

The lamp's electricity is generated by the slow fall of a mass that spins a rotor. The resulting energy powers 10 high-output LEDs that fire into the acrylic lens, creating a diffuse light. The operation is silent and the housing is elegant and cord free -- completely independent of electrical infrastructure.

To activate the lamp you simply move the weights from the bottom to the top, where they start their 4 hour trip down the tube. The light output will be close to that of a 40-watt incandescent bulb and Moulton estimates the device could have a lifespan in excess of 200 years (with the LEDs being the first components to go). A patent is currently pending for the lamp, and I hope to see them on shelves soon. And you know what else I hope to see on shelves soon? Girlscout cookies. It's annoying how you have to wait for the scouts to come around selling them. I think I missed them this year. I need those things damnit. The wife is getting very bent out of shape without her thin mints. Shes says she'll kill me if I can't produce a box by the end of the week.

Greener Gadgets Design Competition [core77]
via
Virginia Tech News Story

Thanks to Kathleen, who appreciates awesome green gadgets, for the tip