Oct 29 2009 A-Ha!: So THAT'S How Twins Are Made

This is a cute pair of twins rocking Mac copy/paste shirts. There's a shot of twin boys after the jump wearing the Microsoft equivalent. Honestly, did you know this was how twins were made? Because I didn't. I just thought you had to do it twice in a row!

Hit the jump for the boys.

Continue Reading " A-Ha!: So THAT'S How Twins Are Made "

Oct 3 2009 Twilight: The Way It Should Have Been

This is video from G4's Attack of the Show (featuring Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn) depicting what Twilight would have been like if there was a just and fair God. But there isn't, so guess who'll be watching New Moon opening night? NOT ME! My guess is a shit-ton of 13-year old girls. Plus your girlfriend.

Olivia Munn`s Twilight: Don`t Date Vampires [iambored]

Thanks to me.vicky, who once bit the head off a bat because she thought she heard it talking in vampire-speak.

Sep 30 2009 Bad Idea: American Girl Makes Homeless Doll

You see that doll there? Her name's Gwen, and she's the latest release from the American Girl company. Plus, she's homeless. WTF!? Where's her 1991 Chicago Bull's NBA Championship shirt and mix-matched shoes?

For $95 -- more than your average homeless person would dream of spending on a rather mediocre baby substitute -- Gwen Thompson can be yours. A mixed message if ever there was one.

In the history books that come with every American Girl doll -- bringing to life these little monsters until impressionable little ones believe they are actual people -- you learn that Gwen's father walked out on the family. Her mother lost her job.

As the little kiddies learn to read about this doll as if she's a human being, one learns that, as fall turned into winter, Gwen's mom lost her grip.

Mother and daughter started bedding down in a car.

JESUS. Where's the part about her mom turning tricks in the backseat of that Buick in order to afford Gwen's dress? Just saying, those things don't grow on street lamps. And, as a guy who's no stranger to "bedding down" in the back of a car, trust me: they never really have free candy.

'Homeless' doll costs $95 (hairstyling extra) [nypost]

Thanks to Kristin, who once bought a heroin-addict doll but returned it when she found out it came with real used needles.

Aug 31 2009 Setting A Good Example: Pole Dancing Doll

These pole dancing dolls are real products despite everything you know about life telling you they shouldn't be. I'll tell you one thing: no daughter of mine is playing with a damn stripper doll. I'm looking right at you, Barbie. Hussy! Product features:

• style
• interesting
• music
• flash
• up and down
• go round and round

Wow. That's, uh, really something. Really something wrong with the world. I mean, how the hell does something like this get approved for manufacture and sale? Japan. Right, I keep forgetting.

Pole Dancer Doll Doesn't Really Set the Perfect Role Model [gizmodo]

Thanks to Octopus Pie, far tastier than Squid Cake.

Aug 20 2009 For The (Clumsy) Ladies: Twilight Bandages

Look down. Do you have breasts? If so, you're a woman or a man who could afford to lose some weight. Either of which may be interested in these Twilight bandages. They're band-aids, but with Twilight shit on them. Now, not to flaunt my superior product design skills or anything, but they should have made the bandages look like vampire bites. BOOM, $1 million idea. You'd have girls throwing themselves off their bicycles just so they could wear more of them. Oh, right, Twi-hards are cutters.

Product Site (sorry ladies, currently sold out)

Thanks to ech0z, who doesn't wear bandages because he has the healing properties of Wolverine, but is way more rugged and handsome. There, I did it -- now pay up.

Jul 14 2009 Olivia Munn: Girl At The Video Game Store

This is Olivia Munn (of G4's Attack of the Show my dreams fame) in a music video by Parry Gripp called The Girl in the Video Game Store. I liked it, and not just because of the brief Zelda cosplay action (although that certainly didn't hurt). You know, I too have fallen in love with a girl at the video game store. It took me over a month to finally get up the nerve to ask her out. And you know what she said when I did? Nothing -- turns out she was a Chun Li cardboard stand up! I still copped a feel.

Youtube

Thanks to Edd, who has a Princess Leia stand up in his bedroom STRICTLY FOR DECORATION. Ha, whatever you say, buddy.

Jun 24 2009 Great News, Twihards!: Twlight Makeup Line

So apparently (I can't believe I'm writing this) there's a Twilight makeup line coming out from DuWop, the cosmetic line being used during the filming of the new movie, "Blue Moon" or whatever. Want to look like a vampire and save $16? Don't sleep.

Be transformed. Let the alchemy transcend.

This special limited edition Lip Venom is a sneak preview of our highly anticipated Twilight Venom, debuting this Fall. Lip Venom V is not your typical DuWop venom. Instead of a gloss, Lip Venom V is a shimmering crimson lip stain suspended in a venom-laced liquid lip conditioner with a bite, and contains argan, avocado, olive oils and vitamin E.

This product should be shaken before use to represent the blending of the human and vampire worlds and applied repeatedly until lips are plumped, revitalized and the desired intensity of color has been reached.

WOW. I just bought like 30 billion shares of DuWop stock. Also, I'm not afraid to admit that I love the Twilight series, and I'd be happy to stay up all night talking to any of you (legal) Twihards out there about Edward Cullen and just how sexy he is. Provided we do it topless. Oh, and call him by his codename: The Geekologie Writer.

Hit the jump to see the Edward and Bella Barbie dolls coming out this fall. And tell me: is it just coincidence Edward's head is shaped like a dildo? I THINK NOT.

Continue Reading " Great News, Twihards!: Twlight Makeup Line "

Jun 12 2009 Stormchasers Capture Inside Of Tornado

This is a video of some stormchasers in Goshen county, Wyoming driving into a tornado (the good stuff starts around 2:20). I've got to admit, it's a pretty ballsy move -- but I've done it on foot. And yes, I was transported to Oz. Don't believe me? Then where'd I get these Munchkin panties?

Holy Crap, Storm Chasers Captured Footage Inside a Tornado [gizmodo]

Jun 4 2009 I Want: Turbo Heather XTreme Racedoll

Why didn't we have cool toys like this when I was growing up? I only had one toy. And now I have wolf palm and bottle-cap glasses.

Look out! Here come the Extreme Radio-Controlled Southern Belles! [dvice]

Thanks to whoever sent me this last week, hit me up again and I'll give you a proper what-for.

May 25 2009 Girls Dressed Up As Daleks From Dr. Who

This is a picture of three girls dressed up as Daleks from Dr. Who standing in front of some liquefied petroleum gas. Needless to say, it's the sexist thing I've seen all Memorial Day and would do all three of them in this order: 2,3,1. You know, for America. U-S-A! U-S-A!

Picture [retrothing]

Thanks to "I know you are a sucker for girls in geeky costumes" Brocknoviatch, who speaks the truth.

May 4 2009 Tattooed Barbie: You're No Daughter Of Mine!

Mattel's new 'Totally Stylin' Barbie doll comes with a bunch of sticker tattoos you can apply all over her forehead and neck to make her look way more totally stylin'. Make her a little R2-D2 backpack and that is one fine piece of plastic ass (note to self: verify Barbie's age before using this). Plus, the doll comes with a fake tattoo gun and ink tattoos so your daughters (and sons) can apply tattoos to themselves! Shockingly, some parents aren't cool with the idea.

Barbie-maker Mattel has said the tattooed Barbie provides a way for kids to "be creative" with the doll. Some parents, naturally, see it differently, suggesting that a "Totally Pierced Barbie" or a "Divorce Barbie" could come next.

As for the tattooed Barbie, Mattel says it's selling better than expected and there are no plans to pull it from the product lineup.

Personally, I don't care, but that may just be because I don't have any daughters. No, I'm the proud father of three very handsome boys (woman always on top). Just kidding. But now that you know how they're made, ladies?

Tattooed Barbie Stirs Up Controversy [inquisitr]
and
Amazon Product Page

Thanks to Steven, whose daughters are only allowed to play with G.I. Joe's.

Mar 17 2009 Soccer Moms Outraged At Grown Up Dora

Apparently Mattel and Nickelodeon rolled out an image of a new "tween" Dora the Explorer last week and a lot of soccer moms are super pissed she's not the chubby little midriff-flashing five year-old she used to be. So Nickelodeon had to fire back.

"I think there was just a misconception in terms of where we were going with this," Gina Sirard, vice president of marketing at Mattel, says. "Pretty much the moms who are petitioning aging Dora up certainly don't understand. ... I think they're going to be pleasantly happy once this is available in October, and once they understand this certainly isn't what they are conjuring up."

"The reason for creating this new Dora line is to offer an alternative to moms who want their daughters to stay little girls, a little longer," the statement concludes. The Tween Dora doll comes with a USB port and is compatible with online story lines.

First of all, who cares. And secondly, Dora's mom, and this is just between you and me -- I think she's taking Fen-Phen.

New Tween "Dora The Explorer" Revealed [ohnotheydidnt] (with some pretty funny comments if you're bored)

Thanks to Duran, who's still pissed his children's show Tucker the Spelunker never took off.

Mar 4 2009 Cat Truck Designed To Pick Up Girls

This is a 1998 Dodge Truck that some guy heavily modded to look like a giant pink cat. A veritable kitty-magnet, if you will. It's currently for sale in Central Ottawa, Canada for $10K.

I have a dodge truck cut in half to make this cat mobile. It has a turbo charger, air intake, neons, aftermarket exhaust, headers and a cat body kit. Made to pick up GIRLS, THEY LOVE IT.

Of course they do. Wait -- didn't I see you circling the middle school?

1998 Dodge [usedottawa]

Thanks to Chris, who picks up chicks the way God intended: with a giant claw.

Dec 10 2008 Craft Time!: Make Your Own Zombie Barbie

Want to make your own zombified Barbie doll? No problem. All it takes is some paint, a razor blade, some Sculpey, a regular Barbie doll, and some brains (!). Hit the jump to see the basic process, which is so simple even a zombie could do it (!). Ha, this reminds me of when I was a kid and I'd always steal my little sister's Barbies and rip their heads off and set them on fire. Without fail the brat would always threatening to tell mom on me. So you know what I did? I told her I'd murder her imaginary friend if she even thought about it. Love you Kaitlyn!

Hit it for a bunch more, including the process.

Continue Reading " Craft Time!: Make Your Own Zombie Barbie "

Sep 11 2008 Wait, What?: High Heels For Babies

Heelarious High Heels are your baby girl's first precious step to a life of stripping. Made for infants 0-6 months old, the $35 shoes practically guarantee a future in exotic entertainment. Okay, so they're actually just crib shoes that have a foam heel, but still, I think we can all agree this is fundamentally wrong. Thankfully, I'll never have a daughter -- I always insist my girlfriend be on top.

FUTURE UPDATE: Wow, three girls in a row. Seriously, this woman on top thing just isn't freaking working. So, to you parents of boys out there -- how did you do it? Is the secret in the butt? Just wink one brown eye if it is. I knew it!

Official Website

Thanks to Melanie, who grew up wearing rocket boots and is now an astronaut.

Aug 8 2008 Yes! DIY Elf Ears: No Experience Required

We've posted elf ears before here on Geekologie, but those involved some sort of "surgical procedure" and "money". Well now there's an Instructable on how to do it yourself with the help of a friend! Okay, not really. The article just discusses the things to consider if you're interested in getting it done. So, I'll go ahead and post the DIY myself.

1. Find a pair of scissors. The sharper the better. The scissors you have from kindergarten should be fine.
2 Score some rubbing alcohol. Take a few shots.
3. Ask yourself, "Do I really want elf ears?" If the answer is no, repeat step 2, possibly alternating shots and bong hits.
4. Cut a triangular chunk out of your upper ear. You should be bleeding at this point.
5. Sterilize a needle with a lighter, thread with fishing line or yarn, and sew your ear back together in the desired shape.
6. Put some tape around your ear to hold it together and prevent strain on the stitches.
7. Repeat steps 4 through 6 for the other ear.
8. Take a picture, preferably topless.
9. If you are a chick, send me that picture. If you are a dude, throw it away, I don't care about your elf ears.
10. If you are hot, I will marry you.
11. Change your name to Zelda.

Hit the jump for a few more pictures, including some after they've healed a bit.

Continue Reading " Yes! DIY Elf Ears: No Experience Required "

Apr 9 2008 Little Girls: A Working TV For Your Dollhouse

Hell yes that's a dollhouse. A dollhouse with a television. Brett Foster, whose daughter loves dolls, made one for her, and is now selling the 1:12 scale sets online for about $200. You can connect whatever you want to it, including a receiver, DVD player, X-Box, PS3, etc. etc. Oh my God, that give me an idea! Did you get the same one? Super Smash Bros. Brawl at 1:12 scale!! Hell yeah, that would totally suck.

Two more pictures after the jump if looking at pictures of dollhouses with wee-televisions is your prerogative.

Continue Reading " Little Girls: A Working TV For Your Dollhouse "

Feb 13 2008 WTF!?: Pimped Out Powder Room Contest By Roto Rooter Is, Hell If I Know -- Awesome?

Unbeknownst to me, Roto-Rooter (the toilet unclogging company) gave away a pimped out man-bathroom last year. It had a beer tap and 42" flatscreen and all this other stuff that is mandatory for a room that you shower and shit in. Well, to keep up with the hip 20-something crowd they're doing it again, this time for the ladies. Drumroll please: The Pimp My Powder Room Contest by Roto-Rooter! You can enter everyday online at their website for a chance to win. It includes all the must haves for a bathroom like a coffee maker, laptop, iPod touch, Nintendo Wii, flatscreen/mirror combo, new shitter, foot bath, virtual window and more. OMG, this thing is totally mine. I came into this ready to make fun of it, but I actually need all these things in my bathroom. I'm even digging the pretty princess pink color scheme. Hey I'm just saying...oh my god I sprouted a vagina!

That being said, I've tried to play Wii from the john before, and it isn't easy. I was getting into a pretty intense tennis battle on Wii sports when a particularly strong backhand sent me reeling off the commode and onto the floor, where, yeah, #2.

Roto-Rooter's "Pimped out Powder Room" sports a Wii, needs a bigger TV [engadget]

Nov 8 2007 Stripping Weathergirl: No Movement In Pants

The Weathergirl Weather Station ($70) is a home weather station that features the time, temperature, and humidity. It also features a scantily clad weathergirl that gets down to a bikini if it's hot enough. YOW YOW! I don't know what she wears if it's freezing out, because these were the only pictures available. Maybe she's content with a mini-dress in the winter. I know I am. On women -- not me silly. Now if the damn Weather Channel would take a hint and start dressing their weathergirls a little more like this one maybe I'd start tuning in instead of getting the weather online.

Stripping Weathergirl Weather Station [coolest-gadgets]

Oct 24 2007 Anime Pillows Are Seriously Wack

Apparently body pillows printed with anime girls are all the rage in Japan. You may already know about this -- I did not, because I'm not some seriously perverted pervert. These are the tamest pictures I could find, some of these things are very risqué. I'm using my girlfriend's computer right now, and she's probably going to break up with me when she sees the sites I went to looking for these damn things. Sure I looked at a few extra after I already got the pictures I needed, but it's not like I'm humping a damn pillow or anything. I'm not sick in the head. I'm just pleasuring myself to pictures of pillows. Perfectly normal.

Body Pillows With Bikini-Clad Anime Girls [tokyomango]