May 22 2009 Queen Of England Gets Gold-Plated Wii
The Queen of England was presented with a gold-plated Wii as part of a publicity stunt to hype up new title Big Family Games, which I have the feeling is gonna suck so hard.
BIG Family Games is the ultimate Wii game to get all family members, from grandparents to young children, playing together. The Royal Family is arguably the most important family in the country so we felt that they had to have a copy of the new game ... But we thought that Her Majesty the Queen wouldn't want to play on any old console, so an extra-special gold one was commissioned. We hope that she and the rest of the Royal Family enjoy the game!
Exciting news, huh? What do you expect folks -- I'm blogging from the effing beach. Yeah, and I just had sex with a mermaid! Of course, I was pretty drunk so it could have just been a big fish. Or *crumpling Subway wrapper* a tuna melt. What? OVEN BAKED SUBS NEED LOVE TOO!
THQ sends the Queen a gold-plated Wii [geek]
Thanks to Edwin, van, Riri, Watch-303 and catch22, who don't need gold-plated Wii's because of platinum you punk bitches.
Apr 9 2009 Now That's What I Call Class: The Gold Mouse
The Gold Bullion Wireless Mouse (not to be confused the the piratey USB hub) is actually plastic. Which is why it costs $35 and not $35 gajillion. To its credit though, it does have a scroll wheel. But still, why anybody would actually pay for this garish piece of bullionshit (count it) is beyond me. That said, I bought one as a gag gift for The Superficial Writer. He loves this kind of crap. And also, American Idol.
UPDATE 1 YEAR LATER: ZOMG, The Superficial Writer left a gold brick on his desk -- I'm gonna be rich!
Gold Bullion Wireless Mouse only looks like a million bucks [engadget]
Thanks to Julian and Oscar The Slouch, who are far too classy for those tuxedo-print t-shirts. Right guys? Right?
Mar 27 2009 Sure, Why Not?: 'I Do' Wedding Bands
'I Do' wedding bands were created by Sakurako Shimizu and are similar to waveform bracelets but much more matrimonial. They were cast in palladium and 18K gold and feature a waveform version of the words "I do". Of course, if you were smart you'd sneakily have an "I don't" cast. That way, when you're caught groping another woman's teat at the bar you can just point to your ring and mouth the words "I don't" to your wife, who may or may not douse you with a Jager shot and stiletto you in the nads. But hey, boobs ARE the spice of life. And also, glitterstim. Now who's down for a Kessel Run?
Hit the jump for another pic and a link to artist's website, which also features a pretty badass Atari chip ring.
Mar 17 2009 No, Those Aren't Gaudy: Golden Speakers
Everybody knows gold makes for quality audio cable and connectors, but how does it fare as an actual speaker exterior? Pretty freaking ugly if you ask me. But England's Gold Acoustics seems to think there's something to it, because their GA Star line of speakers come complete with gold plating. These things would look great in your house right next to me kicking your ass, don't you think? No word on cost, but I'm going to go out on a limb and....AAAAAAAAAAAAHH! *thud*
Add some bling to your audio rig with Gold Acoustics speakers [dvice]
Dec 9 2008 Sure, Why Not?: A Keyboard For Blondes
The Keyboard For Blondes is a real $50 product. What makes it for blondes? Well, it has some questionably clever keys in place of the standard ones, comes complete with audio, and a lovely pink coloration.
The all-pink keyboard swaps out standard keys with funnier, dumber key names. The backspace key now says "Oops!" and the entire row of function keys spells out USELESS KEYS. Hit the "$" sign and you get the sound of a cash register clinking.
Blondes can even get a little technical and use special keys that type out "OMG," "ALI" (Absolutely Love It!) or "XOXO." My favorite? The caps lock key now says: "Warning! size XXL letters."
ZOMG, too funny! Go here to see a high-res picture of the peripheral, then stab yourself for even thinking about buying it for somebody. Then buy it for somebody. Then stab yourself again for pissing away $50. Then return it. Then bandage yourself up for doing the right thing. Alternatively, I'll wear a blonde wig while we're having sex and you can call me dumb. Haha, no sneaking in the ass!
Product Page
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OMG! It's a Keyboard for Blondes [msn]
Thanks to Romeo, Crystal and Jeff, who don't need keyboards because they can all type with their minds. Or voice recognition software, whatever.
Oct 21 2008 Frightening Little Gnome Still Gnoming Strong In Argentina
Remember the gnome/leprechaun that was terrorizing Argentina? Well, he's still around, and, apparently, still looking for his gold.
The teens - who recorded footage of the freaky being on their mobile phone - said they are now "too terrified" to go out at night.
Experts who examined the latest footage, taken in the town of Clodomira, province of Santiago del Estero, Argentina, last week, say it is 'credible'.But sceptics say the sidestepping 'gnome' could be a speedy child or even a small animal.
Haha, no. What in the hell would a child on speed or a dog want with with a pot of gold? Exactly, nothing. "WHO ELSE SEE THE LEPRECHAUN SAY YEEEAAAH!"
'Creepy gnome' back on prowl [thesun]
Thanks again to Julian, who, for two tips in one day receives a free lap dance. Ladies?
