Oct 26 2009 What Could Go Wrong?: Razor Blade Soap
Razor blade soap is exactly what it sounds like, unless you thought it was razor blade shaped soap, in which case it's not. No, razor blade soap has an actual razor blade inside. A nice rusty one. But don't worry -- you'll bleed out well before the lockjaw sets in. Available for $7/bar, it makes the perfect gift for that special someone in the slammer. Alternatively, Polish roulette!
Razor Blade Soap Puts Your Nipples At Risk [nerdapproved]
Thanks to Closet Nerd, who once made soap with a revolver inside and shot himself in the butt. Use a wash cloth, bro.
Sep 29 2009 It's About Time: A Bacon Of The Month Club
Hell yeah a bacon of the month club. Truthfully, I only thought there was one kind of bacon (delicious), but what do I know? I'm just a man who has all his meals prepared for him by a non-robotic bartender. Anyway, for a staggering $315 you can join the Grateful Palate BOTM Club and get:
- A different artisan bacon delivered to your door each month for 12 months- Informative notes on all bacon selections
- Discounts on The Grateful Palate bacon products and bacons
- Bacon of the Month Club Membership Card
- The bacon strip - our members only monthly bacon comic strip
- The Bacon of the Month Club Pig Ballpoint Pen
- A little Rubber Toy Pig
- One free Bacon Tee Shirt
- A recipe each month using the bacon selected
- Discounts on suggested wines and products in recipes
- And a pig nose!
Wow, I don't need half that stuff. How much for just the bacon, membership card and comic strip? Because I'm willing to go as high as $28. Just sayin', that's more than $2/month -- I don't even pay that in child support. Yay for aliases!
The Grateful Palate Bacon of the Month Club
Thanks to kyle, who should start a sexy of the month club cause damn he looks good.
Jul 17 2009 Great Gifts On A Budget: Ghetto Baskets
Ghetto Baskets are gift baskets packed chock-full of stuff you can buy at your local convenience store. The standard Ghetto Basket costs $39, and the Ghetto Fabulous basket $46 (comes with a bow).
You never know exactly what each Ghetto Basket will include. It all depends on our shaky contacts and what falls off of trucks around the neighborhood. But it might have:
Hot Sauce, Pregnancy Test, Grape Drink, Batteries, Beef Jerky, Potted Meay, Pork Rinds, Noodles in a Cup, After Shave, Plastic Commemorative Plate, Religious Candle, Porcelain Figurine, Kung-Fu DVD, Cassette or VHS Tape, Doo Rag, Vapor Rub, Energy Drank, Soap, Outdated Calendar
Each basket comes lovingly packed in an aluminum baking pan and is sure to do disappoint its recipient. Alternatively, assemble your own basket for $14 and just tell the giftee you paid $40 at a novelty website. Now that's ghetto!
Thanks samual and chris, your pregnancy tests are in the mail. And no, I didn't already use them (of course I did).
Jan 2 2009 Wood + WALL-E = WOOD-E, Hiyo!
This is WALL-E made out of wood. It was very well constructed.
Disney commissioned UK-based sculptors and a group called Morpheus Prototypes to build this wooden sculpture of Wall-E as a gift for Pixar/Disney Chief Creative Officer John Lasseter.
Impressive, but I could have made the same thing out of a bunch of popsicle sticks and some wood glue. Unfortunately, mommy says I'm not allowed to use the glue anymore because I fed some to my turtle and now he's different. Slower. And he was already slow to begin with! ZING!
Hit the jump for a closeup of a tread.
Dec 12 2008 Mmmm: Fondant-y Nikon D700 DSLR Cake
Some woman's husband had a bakery make her a Nikon D700 cake, then he gave her the actual camera afterward. How romantic. Well, not as romantic as presenting your wife with a cake that looks like two hands, then giving her the clap, but, pfft, what is?
Hit the jump for a bunch more from all angles.
Dec 9 2008 Sure, Why Not?: A Keyboard For Blondes
The Keyboard For Blondes is a real $50 product. What makes it for blondes? Well, it has some questionably clever keys in place of the standard ones, comes complete with audio, and a lovely pink coloration.
The all-pink keyboard swaps out standard keys with funnier, dumber key names. The backspace key now says "Oops!" and the entire row of function keys spells out USELESS KEYS. Hit the "$" sign and you get the sound of a cash register clinking.
Blondes can even get a little technical and use special keys that type out "OMG," "ALI" (Absolutely Love It!) or "XOXO." My favorite? The caps lock key now says: "Warning! size XXL letters."
ZOMG, too funny! Go here to see a high-res picture of the peripheral, then stab yourself for even thinking about buying it for somebody. Then buy it for somebody. Then stab yourself again for pissing away $50. Then return it. Then bandage yourself up for doing the right thing. Alternatively, I'll wear a blonde wig while we're having sex and you can call me dumb. Haha, no sneaking in the ass!
Product Page
via
OMG! It's a Keyboard for Blondes [msn]
Thanks to Romeo, Crystal and Jeff, who don't need keyboards because they can all type with their minds. Or voice recognition software, whatever.
Nov 17 2008 Tetris Bracelet: Damn You Got Blocky Wrists
Looking for that perfect present for the Tetris fan in your family? How about two free therapy sessions? No? Okay, how about a $70 Tetris bracelet?
This handmade Tetris resin bracelet is embellished with a scene from the classic block-stacking puzzler. Created by Warsaw artist Sylwia Calus (a.k.a. "Sisicata"), its painstakingly detailed with tiny colorful bricks, infused into a clear resin cuff.
I'm not sure what "scene" from the game that is, but it looks like the one where you freaking suck and can't drop a line to save your life from a group of terrorists demanding ransom from you family or they'll kill you. :)
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
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