Oct 29 2009 I See You!: 8x Zoom Case For Nintendo DSi

Want an 8x zoom lens for your DSi because you're secretly a spy? Me neither. Want an 8x zoom lens for your DSi because you're in love with the receptionist at the free clinic and you want to candidly take pictures of her? You've got problems. But if you've also got $25 you can have the Nyko DSi Zoom Case, a case and lens that attach to your DSi and allow up to 8x zoom. Plus, it's super inconspicuous. Goodbye bow tie camera!

Hit the jump for a shot of it's zooming capabilities and all the accessories.

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Oct 27 2009 No Beach For Me: 'Monster' Great White Almost Bites Smaller Great White In Half

This is a picture of a 10-foot great white shark that was almost bitten in half by what is believed to be a 20-foot great white -- just five feet short of Jaws and only seven short of my penis.

'It certainly opened up my eyes. I mean the shark that was caught is a substantial shark in itself,' says Jeff Krause of Queensland Fisheries.

The great white, the most dangerous creature in the sea, was still alive when hauled onto a boat near Deadman's Beach off north Stradbroke island.

'Whatever attacked and took chunks out of this big shark must be massive,' said 19-year-old surfer Ashton Smith. 'I've heard about the big one that's lurking out there somewhere.

'We're all being very, very cautious.'

Listen, I'm not saying I'm the world's manliest man, but for a lifetime supply of Australian beer and the chance to ride in a kangaroo's pouch, I will kill this shark anyway you want. Provided you want me to throw dynamite from a helicopter.

Great White nearly bit in half by an even BIGGER monster: Swimmers stay out of the water after warning over giant 20ft shark [dailymail]

Thanks to Ann, wes, Blastphemer, neo geo, Chris and salsa shark, who have all ridden sharks before and said it was a memorable experience.

Oct 1 2009 For Sale: The World's Largest Gummi Bears

I have no idea if these five pound gummi bears are, in fact, the world's largest commercially available sugar bombs, but I do know they look rats and not bears.

The World's Largest Gummy Bear is the lion of the candy world. There is no candy more magnificent or more powerful. This five-pound beast is the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears and packs a whopping 12,600 calories.

Its monstrous size is only matched by its enormous taste. The World's Largest Gummy Bear tastes just as delicious as its pint-sized counterpart.

Available in several flavors: blue raspberry, red cherry, and green apple. Hand-made in the USA.

Each bear will set you back $30 plus whatever you incur at the dentist. Which, if you play your cards right and flirt with the hygienist, could be a tank of nitrous. Just saying, A-WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH. I feel like I'm on a spaceship!

Hit the jump for a moderately humorous commercial for the things.

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Sep 17 2009 I Could Eat It: World's Biggest Hamburger

What could be better after an article about a hideous dead monster than a food-related post? Happy lunching west coasters! Do they sell good falafel out there? I'd appreciate some if they do. Also, ripe avocado.

It's the world's biggest burger/heart-attacker and it comes courtesy of Steve Mallie of Southgate, Michigan. Guinness Book of World Records officially declared it the biggest after the burger weighed in at 185lbs.

Steve, who owns Mallie Sports Grill, said it took them 15 hours total to bake the burger, but it was worth it. Being in Guinness was always one of Steve's dreams. Steve said, ''I've worked my entire life to build this restaurant and being able to have the notoriety of Guinness makes it just that bit more rewarding.''

Steve plans to sell the burger at his restaurant for $499.

Who the hell's gonna buy a 200lb, week old hamburger (which, technically, appears to be a cheeseburger) for $500? You know, besides yo momma. BU-BU-BU-BURN! She's so fat she jumped and got stuck. OOOOOOOH, no I di-in't! I just did though is the thing.

KFed Just Came [dlisted]

Sep 9 2009 Huuuge Robot Statue Coming To South Korea

If you thought the 59-foot Gundam statue in Japan was large, boy were you wrong. Because South Korea is erecting a massive 364-foot statue (twice as large as the Statue of Liberty) of Robot Taekwon V (aka Voltar the Invincible). Scared? It gets worse. You see, the statue is being built for a new amusement park called Robot Land. Geez, talk about scarring your children for life. This is worse than coming downstairs on Christmas hoping for a Nintendo, only to find your mom gangbanging the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny underneath the tree. Nobody even ate the cookies!

giant robot taekwon v statue will be six times as large as giant gundam statue [technabob]

Jul 28 2009 Spoiled Brat Gets 98" TV In Ceiling Above Bed

Patti Deni, undoubtedly trying to make up for her lack of parenting (or child droppage), had a 98-inch StarGlas60 television installed in the ceiling above her teenage son's bed.

"Because it's so big and has such a wide viewing angle, Patty's son wouldn't have to lay flat on his back necessary to see the screen," Bohner explains.

"He and his friends can prop themselves just about anywhere and get a good view," adds Patty.

Wow. I didn't even have a TV in my bedroom until I was....okay, I don't think I've ever had a TV in my bedroom. And you know why? Because I don't sleep. LIKE EDWARD IN TWILIGHT. Only I'm dreamier. Somebody, anybody, back me up. DO IT NOW!

100-inch Screen Gets Mounted Flush in the Ceiling [electronichouse]

Thanks to naas and 42 y/o undead warlock, whose kids are lucky to not sleep under the dining room table.

Jul 1 2009 Like I Don't Have Enough To Worry About: Mega Ant Colony Is Taking Over The World

Ant colonies, like rabbits, are cuddly prolific. So prolific, in fact, scientists have just discovered a single interrelated colony of Argentine ants that has populated much of the globe. ATTAAACK!

The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination.

While ants are usually highly territorial, those living within each super-colony are tolerant of one another, even if they live tens or hundreds of kilometres apart. Each super-colony, however, was thought to be quite distinct.

But it now appears that billions of Argentine ants around the world all actually belong to one single global mega-colony.

So they're all relatives. But way more so than say, you and I are. So....it's cool if I touch your butt, right? I mean it's not like we're ants or anything.

Ant mega-colony takes over world [bbcnews]

Thanks to Alistair and 2MechanicalArms, who may or may not have fire ants in their pants. They do, I put them there.

May 28 2009 Frickin' Huge!: Full-Size Blue Whale Website

This full-sized blue whale website comes to us from the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society that urges everyone to "EAT MOR CHIKIN". Kidding, those are the Chick-Fil-A cows. Damn, now I want a sandwich. Ladies? Anyway, the website was designed to give the average computer user a sense of awe for just how large the sandwich you better be making me should be. Crazy, huh? Those whales are huuuuuuge. And as a guy whose had his fair share of BBW lovers: motion of the ocean, baby. I don't even know what that means, but I just bought a sailboat!

Website

Thanks to Shelby, who is a special f/x artist and could make even me look cool. On fire. While exploding. Riding a shark.

May 12 2009 Wuv, Tru Wuv: Heart-Shaped Watermelons

What? I CAN QUOTE The Princess Bride IF I WANT. There's no shame in my game. Or extra lives. Anyway, just in time for not Valentine's Day, Japanese jolly ranchers Kiroichi Kimura and his wife have perfected a way of growing heart-shaped watermelons, which sell for up to $160. It took three years to develop the process, which involves implanting a watermelon seed in a giant's heart and then slaying it and removing the melon afterward. Nice, guys, but I think I still stick to regular-shaped melons. *ahem* I'm looking at you, female Geekologie reader.

Heart-shaped watermelons in Japan [japanprobe]

Thanks to Ashnod, ffffffffffffffffffffff and NESbeast, who are holding out for spleen shaped watermelons.

Apr 20 2009 Largest Model Rocket Ready For Blast Off

I did absolutely zero research to determine if this 36-foot tall, 1,600lb model rocket built by Steve Eves is, in fact, the largest ever, but that's only because I've already won numerous prizes for investigative journalism and figured I'd give somebody else a chance. I jest -- I'm just stoned to bejesus.

The mini-Saturn V is powered by nine rocket motors including 8 13,000ns N-Class motors and a single 77,000ns P-Class motor.

The single stage flight should reach an altitude somewhere between 3,000 and 4,000 feet, and at apogee the rocket will separate into three parts and return to Earth via the assistance of various parachutes. In the end Eves estimates he's invested about 1,500 hours into the project with a total budget of around $25,000, though that will actually be covered by various sponsors come the April 25th launch event.

Nice. Reminds me of the time at Space Camp we built model rockets and launched them off with crickets as payload. I remember my cricket (Chirpy McHandicapped) only had one back leg. Well, before liftoff. After liftoff he had one back leg on fire. R.I.P. Chirpy, say hi to Space Bat for me.

Largest Model Rocket In History Is 36 Feet Tall, Weighs Over 1,600 Pounds [ohgizmo]

Thanks to Stephen, who once put a rocket's fin on crooked and the rocket went all crazy like PPSSSSHOOWWOWOWOWWOWWSSSSSSSS *pop*

Mar 24 2009 Son Paints 60-Foot Phallus On Parent's Roof

Rory McInnes, 18, inspired by a television program he watched about Google Earth, climbed onto his parent's roof and painted a 60-foot phallus with a bucket of white paint. It took his parents over a year to discover the monster shlong, and now Rory "will have to scrub it off when he gets back from traveling". Haha, scrub it off. But seriously, who the hell paints a giant member ON THEIR OWN HOUSE? Sorry, but I'm chalking this one up as a penis painting fail, Rory. Better luck next dong.

60-foot penis painted on roof [bbcnews]

Thanks to Andy Mac, a-lice, Cian and Pesche, who are all smart enough to only paint junk on other people's houses.

Mar 6 2009 Giant Remote Controls Windows Media Center

Why? Because pushing little buttons with your thumbs is for little sissies. You need MAN-LEGS to stomp MAN-SIZED BUTTONS to prove you are a REAL MAN. *SHA-POW* Look, I just punched a hole to the center of the galaxy with my MAN-FIST. That doesn't even make sense but it doesn't have to because I am so full of MAN-RAGE. NOW I'M HUMPING A SODA MACHINE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO MORE DR. PEPPER? RAWR!

Our intrepid modder achieved his goal by stitching together two PS2 Dance Dance Revolution mats, a PS2-to-PC controller converter box, and some homebrew source code.

What were we just talking about? Oh right, a giant controller. That thing is mad stupid. I would stomp right through that sucker and into the apartment below mine because my legs are like tree trunks -- wooden. 'Tis true, lost 'em both to the Kraken. YAAARR!

Hit the jump to see a video of the controller in action.

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