Nov 12 2009 Forget Gnomes, How About A Garden Jawa?
Tired of those creepy little gnomes hanging out in your garden? Well how about a creepy little Jawa?! Available for pre-order from the StarWarsShop, the $35 lawn ornament is certain to draw attention to your flower beds and eventually be stolen/broken by punk-ass teenagers.
* Crafted in solid resin, this fully painted Jawa is ready - rain or shine
* Exclusively available at StarWarsShop
* Measures close to a foot in height
* Sculpted in a chunky, garden gnome-like styleShips Worldwide, except Mexico
Sorry Mexico, no Garden Jawas for you. Wait, why? Here, I'll give you a hint: it starts with GEORGE and ends with LUCAS IS A PUDGY BIGOT. You heard it here first! Unless his lawyers contact me, in which case this was all a direct quote from some other blog.
Hit the jump for two shots of Jawas hanging out in unnatural habitats.
Continue Reading " Forget Gnomes, How About A Garden Jawa? "
Sep 24 2009 But It'll Scare All My Garden Gnomes Away!: Super Mario Piranha Plant Lawn Ornament
DeviantARTist Kalupsa went and made an incredibly detailed (and frightening) Super Mario Piranha Plant lawn ornament out of modeling clay. And I think we can all agree, it's scary as shit. I sure as hell wouldn't water it, if you know what I mean. I'm talking about try to piss on it. NOT a good idea.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of how it was made.
Dec 30 2008 Night Gardening With The Flashlight Hose
The Flashlight Nozzle is a garden hose attachment with an integrated LED flashlight that runs off 2 AA batteries. You know, so you can water your grass at night. Perfect for vampires, insomniacs, and rogue pot farmers, the botanical blaster will set you back a paltry $12.50. Or you could tape a flashlight to your existent nozzle. Now, which one of you lucky ladies wants me to water your roses on New Years Eve? Haha, I don't even know what means!
Flashlight Garden Nozzle [ohgizmo]
Jul 8 2008 Garden Zombies Add An Undead Touch To Your Flowerbed, Hopefully Scare Solicitors
Tired of staring at the same damn group of garden gnomes in your flowerbed? Well how about (un)livening things up a bit with a Garden Zombie? Garden Zombies cost $90 and the 32"W x 20"D x 8"H sculptures look like they're climbing out of the ground and ready to gnaw on some headfruit.
Not for the faint of heart, the life-sized, gray-toned zombie will claw his way out of your garden plot or family room corner, pleading for assistance with the most lifelike eyes you've ever seen. His macabre expression is captured in such great detail in quality designer resin and finished so realistically that you'll swear you can hear him breathing!
Garden? Maybe. Inside the apartment? F*** no. The last thing I need to see while stumbling my way to a midnight snack is a zombie climbing out of the floor. I'd decimate my tighty-offwhities (if I was wearing any) and cry like a baby. Eventually I'd come to, grab one of my zombie-survival kits, and proceed to kill the poor sap that lives in the apartment below mine.
Apr 18 2008 Sunlight Poem Projector Is Brilliant, Beautiful
The One Day Poem Pavilion is cool and proof that the sun is smarter than you think. By sending his rays through an arrangement of pre-cut perforations he makes poems appear in the shadow of the little pavilion. You only get to see one stanza at a time, so it takes a good while to read an entire poem (worthwhile time lapse video here).
Using a complex array of perforations, the pavilion's surface allows light to pass through creating shifting patterns, which-during specific times of the year-transform into the legible text of a poem. The specific arrangements of the perforations reveal different shadow-poems according to the solar calendar: a theme of new-life during the summer solstice, a reflection on the passing of time at the period of the winter solstice.
That's beautiful. If I had any talent for building things I'd be tempted to construct one in the backyard with a little bench and maybe a garden gnome. No, a whole family of garden gnomes. I love those ornery little bastards. Well, except for papa gnome -- he's always trying to steal vegetables out of my garden. Plant some yourself you lazy freaking cheeseweasel!
Another picture of the pavilion's poetic beauty and a link to the time lapse video (in case you missed the link in the text), after the jump.
Continue Reading " Sunlight Poem Projector Is Brilliant, Beautiful "
Mar 20 2008 Gnomes Are Real, As Awesome As I Imagined
Apparently a gnome is terrorizing the town of General Guemes in Argentina. Although from the report he didn't actually do anything but try to cross the street (video after the jump!). I mean it's not like he's sucking the blood of your goats like the Chupacabra does. He's just trying to get his gnome on. Leave the poor bastard alone. He's probably just wandering the countryside looking for a nice garden to accentuate.
Must see crappy quality video of the handsome little devil after the jump. But turn down the volume -- the guy filming shrieks like a little girl at the end. Oh -- and if anybody can translate what the kids are talking about I'd like to know.
Continue Reading " Gnomes Are Real, As Awesome As I Imagined "
Mar 3 2008 Apartment Building With Hydroponic Gardens
There's a new apartment complex going up in Wuhan, China. Big deal you say? Well what if I told you that each apartment includes a 100-square-foot trellised hydroponic garden? Now I know what you're thinking -- "Yes, weed!" And you are correct. Indeed, all the weed you need. No but seriously, you're supposed to grow vegetables and stuff like that. Although that girl in the picture does look kind of high. And kind of like a ghost. So you can count me out. No number of hydroponic gardens is enough to get into a haunted apartment complex. Am I right? High five!
An apartment building with private hydroponic gardens [dvice]
