Oct 19 2009 XBox Live Friend Accept Flowchart: Let Me Guess, You're Another 12 Year Old Racist
This is a flowchart for determining if you should accept a friend request from someone on XBox Live. And I've got to admit, it's pretty spot-on. Of course, I don't accept ANY friend requests because I'm a loner. I even eat alone and, more often than not, have sex. You never seen a bigger bunch of concerned Wendy's employees!
Xbox Live Friend Acceptance Flowchart [kotaku]
Thanks to Grantly, who only accepts requests from people he knows in real life because he doesn't want to risk befriending a robot. Smart, Grantly, smart.
Oct 5 2009 Another Gallery Of Video Games In Real Life
This is another little gallery of video games in realer life than they are when you play them. As you can see, this is a game I'm not familiar with. It looks like Tetris mixed with Rampage. I would call it Shape Rampagers, but that's just because I'M A WORLD CLASS GAME NAMER. Super Mario Bros.? Pfft, try Two Plumbers Fight To Bang The Princess. Yeah -- I'm that L337.
Hit the jump for a few of my favorites, and the link to a bunch more if you're interested in that sort of thing (I won't judge).
Continue Reading " Another Gallery Of Video Games In Real Life "
Oct 3 2009 It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360
Want an XBox 360 signed by Sarah Palin? Me neither. But if you still want to go and blow a cool $1.1 million on one, congratulation, you're an idiot. Also, what's your home address?
The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012.
When the governors picnic took place, there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me.
What the hell's the matter with this guy? Reminds me of all the idiots trying to sell Wii's for $1 million the week before Christmas. Just saying, I wouldn't even pay that for a console signed by Princess Peach AND Zelda. I would pay that for one signed by The Geekologie Writer though. Contact me for more info.
Hit the jump for a picture of Palin signing it.
Continue Reading " It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360 "
Sep 14 2009 He's Eating My Ass!: Pac-Man Gaming Chair
This is a Pac-Man gaming chair. The best I can tell it's just a computer image, rendering(!) it fake, but it's cool enough for someone to make reality IMHO. And speaking of MHO: they're out there. I'm talking aliens, fool! Anyway, this Pac-Man chair feeds off pocket lint and loose change but won't hesitate to eat your cat if you go out of town for a long weekend without at least laying out some treats. And by treats I mean dingleberries. Sick, I know, but he loves those things.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " He's Eating My Ass!: Pac-Man Gaming Chair "
Aug 19 2009 Awh: A Sentimental Super Nintendo Tattoo
I would never think to associate video game tattoos with sentimental memories, but apparently it happens.
My Super Nintendo controller tattoo. It says "Mom Mom" because I got it in memory of my grandmother who died 06/08/04. I grew up playing Super Nintendo with her. It's real patchy & I need to get it touched up because that grey color is a b, but it means a lot to me.
That's cute. Now I don't feel so bad about getting a tattoo of my first dog with a Game Boy for a head. *sniff* Miss you, Tetris face.
Super Nintendo Controller Tattoo [fyeahtattoos]
Thanks to Jonah Ray, who got a tattoo of Garfield humping a Dreamcast because it means something to him.
Jul 29 2009 Caring Means Sharing: Gaming In Love
Is that not the cutest thing you've ever seen? I swear, if one had a puppy in her lap I would be crying right now. Which *sniff* I am totally not. Punch the tears back, GW, punch the tears back. AAAAAAAHHH -- POW POW POW!!
This Is How Two Girls Play Gameboy When They Really Love Each Other [gizmodo]
Jul 20 2009 I Would Never Leave: The Hi-Can Luxury Bed
The Hi-Can luxury bed has everything you've ever wanted in a bed minus a bathroom and snack bar. Oh, and dancing pole. I like to strip myself to sleep.
A theater screen pulls down at the foot of the bed for viewing television or movies. An integrated personal computer system means you can work or surf the web in bed as well. Game consoles are built in for added entertainment value. Lights for reading and shades for sleeping are also fully integrated.
Eh, it's a little too weird looking for my taste. Besides, I've been sleeping on a pile of clothes for the past two years and, quite frankly, I think your mom likes it just fine. BU-BU-BU-BURN! But seriously, wonderful lady.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a brief video.
Continue Reading " I Would Never Leave: The Hi-Can Luxury Bed "
Jun 20 2009 Classiest Nintendo Mod Yet: The PIMPendo
The PIMPendo is a Nintendo on pimp juice. I suspect it guzzled an entire goblet full. Then puked. Then drank more. Out of a hooker's mouth. That's nasty.
This completely refurbished NES system has been pimpified, including added LEDs which make the innards of the system glow red when it's powered on, a new zebra skin finish, gems galore, Plexiglas, a peacock feather and the most important addition, purple frill.
Listen trick, you better have my cartridges! What the -- DON'T MAKE ME GET THE POWER GLOVE.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " Classiest Nintendo Mod Yet: The PIMPendo "
Jun 4 2009 Wackjobs Protest EA At E3 Convention
A bunch of protesters were out holding signs against Electronic Arts during the E3 convention because, hey, fundamentalists get bored too, you know. And apparently they don't play video games.
It seems that gaming giant EA, (that's Electronic Anti-Christ for those of you church folk) has angered the religious denizens of LA with its sinfully spectacular title, Dante's Inferno. The 'Go to Hell' tagline seems to the main focus of debate, with angry protesters warning ignorant gamers to steer clear of the title, regarding it as 'tainted' and 'evil.'
"We are on a crusade to stop the blasphemous glorification of HELL and its minions as presented by Dante's Inferno. The ever decaying youth and slovenly adults who engage with Dante's Inferno are a victim of our society's pointless need to flirt with Satan and his lustful campaign to corrupt human souls...We say NO. We say inferNO."
First of all, "blasphemous glorification of hell", really? This isn't Sims: Hell, it's Dante's Inferno. You battle wicked beasts and shit. I can pretty much guarantee nobody is gonna walk away from this game thinking, "you know, hell looks like an alright place". YOU HAVE TO WALK AROUND WITH LIT CHARCOALS IN YOUR ASS. That is not blasphemous glorification. That is burny-ous constipation. Secondly, I don't flirt with Satan no matter how drunk I get. Or how much fiery vaginas he promises.
UPDATE: FAKE! EA viral marketing. Still not buying the game!
Hit the jump for a pretty bitchin' "Trade in your Playstation for a Praystation" sign.
Jun 4 2009 Playstation Announces Own Motion Controller
Not to be outdone by XBox's announcement of Project Natal, Playstation brought their own motion controller news to E3. But, unlike Project Natal, which motion captures your entire body, the Playstation version relies on a magic dildo. This is a rather long demonstration of the device presented by two Sony engineers (one nervous, one stoned), so feel free to skip around. But not breakfast, that shit's important.
Thanks to Mister J, who once kicked Mister T's ass in a gold-off.
Jun 2 2009 XBox's Project Natal: You ARE The Controller
XBox announced Project Natal at E3 yesterday and, hooray. Basically it's a video camera capable of full-body tracking so that you can punch and kick and break your television to your heart's content. This is a video of the possibilities. Also, there's another video after the jump that introduces Milo, which appears to be some kind of pedo-program that makes it easier to troll the interweb for 12-year old boys. Because, let's face it, AOL chatrooms are beat, yo.
Hit the jump for the other video that made no sense and not just because I stopped paying attention and went to heat my burrito (ladies?) after thirty seconds.
Continue Reading " XBox's Project Natal: You ARE The Controller "
Jun 1 2009 Boom Shacka Lacka!: The New PSP Go
This is the new PSP. It's called the PSP Go. You know, because it's portable. It may or may not come preloaded with porn. Specs? I has them:
* 3.8-inch display (resolution is undisclosed)
* 43 percent lighter than the PSP-3000
* 16GB of Flash storage
* Bluetooth built-in; supports handset tethering and BT headsets
* No UMD drive
* Memory Stick Micro slot
* New Gran Turismo, Little Big Planet and new Metal Gear Solid (!) on the way
* Full PlayStation Network support (movie and TV rentals / purchases)
* Integration with PlayStation 3 (works the same as the PSP-3000 does)
* Sony views each of its products as "10-year lifecycle products," so the PSP "needs to live on."
Well, what do you think? I like the sliding feature, that's not necessary. Also, PSP Go -- really? I hope nobody got paid to come up with that. Because it's stupid. I would have gone with PSP You Can Take It With You.
Sony's PSP Go leaks out before E3, is obviously a go [engadget]
Thanks to obi jwan and Rik, who don't need portable gaming devices because they only play mind games.
May 24 2009 NES Rap: 99 Lives And A Power Glove
This is a rap about playing oldschool NES games called The Konami Code (99 Lives And A Power Glove). It was made by the same folks that brought us Robot Party song and is pretty fresh. Not as fresh as my breakfast mind you, but that's because I just bought chickens. *squeezing chicken* EGGS, DAMN YOU, EGGGGGGGS! *chicken explodes* Okay, that might have been a rooster.
Thanks to Erin, who has allegedly beat Contra with a single life and is a monster liar.
May 17 2009 XBox 360/Zune Mashup Device Coming?
Is Microsoft working on a device that combines functionality of the XBox 360 and Zune? I don't even know what the hell that would be, but maybe.
The project, codenamed "xYz," is said to feature a WVGA touchscreen and a way to play music and movies on both the device as well as the Xbox 360. Basically, it's going to be a connected handheld gaming system with rich multimedia features.
Eh. Also, "xYz" -- what a horrible codename. I can already think of like a million better ones. Including, and pretty much limited to, "Project Zune Liquidation".
May 14 2009 Awh, How Cute: A Little LEGO Nintendo
This is a little Nintendo Flickr user Arkov made using LEGO pieces. As you can see, it's fairly simple. I didn't actually bother counting the number of blocks it took, but given a quick glance, I'd estimate somewhere in the six to eight range. Few enough for even you to be able to make one. Just kidding, you'd probably end up eating all the pieces. Which.....HEY, PUT THAT HELMET BACK ON! Your mother would kill me if she came home and saw you without your -- WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE SCISSORS?!?
Hit the jump for some sexy closeups.
May 12 2009 $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games
Looking to blow $2,500 on something that's bound to get all scuffed up and smell funky within a few months? Cool, buy me one of those masturbation machines. Or these shoes.
These are an exclusive pair...only one of its kind. Patent leather back with embedded fiber optic wiring in the shape of the XBOX logo. Battery placement is in the tongue as well as on and off switch that has 2 settings: Strobe or Constant light functions. Gradient lime swoosh faded to black. The toe is painted in a surreal Tiger Camouflage with accents of lime and bright green. These are a men's size 11.
$2,500 for a pair of sneakers? For that kind of money I was at least expecting them to play Halo. Yeah, and have speakers so I can hear all the penisless pre-pubescent boys telling me what a homosexual African American I am.
Hit the jump for several more shots including the fiber optics in action.
Continue Reading " $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games "
May 11 2009 MIT Builds World Of Warcraft Gaming Hut
Some gamers at MIT went and built a World of Warcraft 'pod' that contains everything a person would need to survive about three days while constantly playing WoW. Shitter? Check.
Inside, the gamer finds him/herself comfortable seated in front of the computer screen with easy-to-reach water, pre-packaged food, and a toilet conveniently placed underneath his/her custom-built throne.
When hungry, the gamer selects a food item ('Crunchy Spider Surprise', 'Beer Basted Ribs', etc.) and a seasoning pack. By scanning in the food items, the video game physically adjusts a hot plate to cook the item for the correct amount of time. The virtual character then jubilantly announces the status of the meal to both the gamer and the other individuals playing online: "Vorcon's meal is about to be done!" "Better eat the ribs while they're hot!" etc.
As much as I want to hate this, I've got to admit: I wouldn't mind having one. Looks equally suitable for raiding villages and your own little level 4 pants elf. Which, privacy curtain, hello?
Hit the jump for another shot and a better view of the schematic. Ha, remember when you used to make a privacy tent by pulling your bedsheet down from your loft in college? No? Me neither then.
Continue Reading " MIT Builds World Of Warcraft Gaming Hut "
Apr 22 2009 Best Nintendo DS Case Ever? Hint: Yes
This is by far the best Nintendo DS case ever crafted. If you can't tell by the censor block I put over the picture, they're boobs. But not just any boobs. Really soft looking ones. I swear, we get a picture of Jessica Chobot licking this and BOOM!: the cover of TIME Magazine. For the next thirty years. Also, peace in the Middle East.
Hit the jump for the uncensored picture.
Apr 15 2009 6-Year Old Finds Pron On New PSP, Cries
A six-year old found a bunch of nudey pictures on the PSP his mother purchased for him from Walmart and got all upset about it and cried to his mommy.
Tamatha said she found a memory card inside the PSP containing hundreds of pornographic pictures. She claimed it's not hers and it was in the PSP before she opened the box.
She then called the store wanting to speak with a manager about the problem. "I explained the situation and his response was, 'well, bring the machine down and we'll let your son pick out a new game,'" she said. "And I was like, no I don't think you heard what I said."
Tamatha is demanding a new gaming system, apology, and written promise her son won't grow up to be gay. Good luck with that Tamatha, but I've got news for you: he's been that way since birth. I mean, he cried when he saw a naked woman. What? Well, yeah, but I only do it sometimes.
Mom Finds Porn on New PSP [myfoxboston]
Thanks to Chris and Asiantom, who would have felt like they just won the fapping lottery.
Apr 8 2009 It Was Frickin' Huge: 54,324 Piece LEGO DSi
LEGO artist Sean Kenney was commissioned by Nintendo of America to build a giant DSi for display at the Nintendo World Store in NYC. So that's what he did. And here it is, in all it's 54,324 piece glory. Sadly, it doesn't work, which means that it's forever frozen with that picture of a cat on it. Which, while cute, is nowhere near as cute as my cat. Isn't that right, Mr. Whiskers? I swear, you are such a cutie with a booty -- come give daddy kissies! No, I didn't say asshole my face, I said kissies!
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups and a 45-second time-lapse video of the build.
Continue Reading " It Was Frickin' Huge: 54,324 Piece LEGO DSi "
