Oct 19 2009 XBox Live Friend Accept Flowchart: Let Me Guess, You're Another 12 Year Old Racist

This is a flowchart for determining if you should accept a friend request from someone on XBox Live. And I've got to admit, it's pretty spot-on. Of course, I don't accept ANY friend requests because I'm a loner. I even eat alone and, more often than not, have sex. You never seen a bigger bunch of concerned Wendy's employees!

Xbox Live Friend Acceptance Flowchart [kotaku]

Thanks to Grantly, who only accepts requests from people he knows in real life because he doesn't want to risk befriending a robot. Smart, Grantly, smart.

Jul 14 2009 Olivia Munn: Girl At The Video Game Store

This is Olivia Munn (of G4's Attack of the Show my dreams fame) in a music video by Parry Gripp called The Girl in the Video Game Store. I liked it, and not just because of the brief Zelda cosplay action (although that certainly didn't hurt). You know, I too have fallen in love with a girl at the video game store. It took me over a month to finally get up the nerve to ask her out. And you know what she said when I did? Nothing -- turns out she was a Chun Li cardboard stand up! I still copped a feel.

Youtube

Thanks to Edd, who has a Princess Leia stand up in his bedroom STRICTLY FOR DECORATION. Ha, whatever you say, buddy.

Mar 23 2009 Scientific: A Periodic Table Of XBox Games

The latest in a line of geeky periodic tables comes the Periodic Table of XBox Games from Blackwalt (possibly of LOST fame). Full size version HERE and description of all "elements" HERE. Good looking. I hope you can appreciate it as much as I do. And also, this cake. P.S. I baked a stripper inside just for you. Be careful -- she's smokin' hot! But only temperature wise, she's actually just an ugly hooker. Or she was, before I hit her with my car. Now she's a liability. And also -- your problem. Gotta go!

A Masterpiece from HoC Productions [herdofcats]

Thanks Blackwalt, now tell me: what's the secret of the island?

Mar 19 2009 She Loves Me!: Gamer Girl Loves Geekologie

Well, maybe not me, but she does love Geekologie. Remember yesterday's gamer girl post? Well, she commented on it, you can read her comment HERE (#148). And also, she sent me an email, which read:

Hi, I saw the thread with me in it and find it hilarious. I love your site.

I would like you to post this pic, and you can quote me as saying "YAY! II finally graduated 4Chan!"

Geekologie loves you too, Reenaye. And congratulations on graduating 4chan! Moving on to Geekologie is a big step in every internet celebrity's life. Best wishes. And also: if you happened to send a couple pictures of yourself cosplaying as Zelda while riding on the back of an inflatable dinosaur with the Master Sword between your teeth, you know, that would be totally cool with me.

Mar 16 2009 Ooh La La: A Gallery Of X-Box 360 Mods

Personally, I like my XBox just the way it came: solid gold with diamond accents. But apparently some of you peasants like to glue plastic and shit to your XBoxes to make you feel special. Good for you. Hit the jump for a bunch more, including several Halo mods and a pretty sweet looking clock/tissue box combo. Now if you'll excuse me, I must call my servant to wipe my lips clean after breakfast. *ahem* Heeeeere kitty, kitty.

Hit it for a bunch more and the link to an even larger gallery.

Continue Reading " Ooh La La: A Gallery Of X-Box 360 Mods "

Mar 8 2009 Wow: Over 64,000 Years Of Halo 3 Played

That's right folks, if you add up all the individual hours people have played Halo 3, it comes out to over 64,000 years.

The billionth game of Halo 3 was played last Saturday. Bungie then calculated the play time of every online match - not counting custom maps - and it reaches 2,023,153,340,764 seconds, which equals out to roughly 64,000 years.

To further drive home the point of how huge of a number that is, they mentioned that 64,000 years ago neanderthal walked the Earth and modern man hadn't yet set foot in Asia.

Some guy in the comments went on to speculate that a low-ball estimate of World of Warcraft gameplay was up around 750,000 years. Either way, I'm crying. And not because we haven't cured cancer either it's just that *sniff* I'm so damn proud of you guys.

Halo 3 reaches one billion matches and 64,000 years of play time [omghalo]

Thanks to Mark, who contributed not one but 10,000 of those years.

Feb 27 2009 XBox Live's Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy

XBox Live doesn't want you letting anybody know you're gay. Because that's offensive. Recently, a woman was banned from online gaming for identifying herself as a lesbian in her profile.

My account was suspended because I had said in my profile that I was a lesbian. I was harassed by several players, 'chased' to different maps/games to get away from their harassment. They followed me into the games and told all the other players to turn me in because they didn't want to see that crap or their kids to see that crap.

As if xbox live is really appropriate for kids anyways! My account was suspended and xbox live did nothing to solve this, but instead said others found it offensive.

Hey, that reminds me, people suck. Per XBox Live's don't tell policy:

In regards to sexual orientation, for gamertags or profiles we do not allow expression of any type of orientation, be that hetero or other. Players can, however, self identify in voice communication where context is more easily explained to all players involved.

Weak. I say XBox embrace the gay community and ban all the harassers. I'm tired of gaming with a bunch of pre-pubescent boys anyways. Their voices alone make me want to throw the system out the window. Tolerance, XBox, tolerance. And for those of you that feel stifled by the inability to post your sexual preference on XBox Live, feel free to do so here. I'll even get us started with the first comment.

Identifying Yourself As A Lesbian Gets You Banned On XBOX Live [consumerist]
and
Microsoft's Policy Regarding Identifying Sexual Orientation On XBOX Live [consumerist]

Thanks to Marc, who was tolerant even after I puked in his car.

Jan 15 2009 Own Every Famicom Game Ever Made

Own a Famicom? Want to own all 1,051 officially released games for less than $7 a pop? Well head on down to the Mandarake Complex in Japan and pick those suckers up for only 650,000 yen ($6,500).

Many people who pass by the Mandarake Complex stop for a few minutes, especially with friends or loved ones to reminisce about games they used to own or how they'd love to buy the whole collection.

Now you can! So do it. Then make wallets out of all the crappy games and send me one. Also, I think my mom still has my childhood rattail in an envelope somewhere if you're interested in that. I'll even throw in all my baby teeth if the price is right.

Entire Famicom collection going for only 650,000 yen! [destructoid]

Thanks to MoD, who saved himself $6,500 and downloaded an emulator.

Dec 17 2008 World Of Warcraft Players Discriminated Against In The Workplace, Also, Life

So apparently World of Warcraft players are discriminated against for employment, according to an f13 discussion forum. Which, let's face it, is practically a legitimate news source (not unlike Geekologie).

I met with a recruiter recently (online media industry) and in conversation I happened to mention I'd spent way too much time in the early 2000s playing online games, which I described as "the ones before World of Warcraft" (I went nuts for EQ1, SWG and the start of WoW, but since 2006 I have only put a handful of days into MMOG playing - as opposed to discussing them - I've obsessed over bicycles and cycling instead).

He replied that employers specifically instruct him not to send them World of Warcraft players. He said there is a belief that WoW players cannot give 100% because their focus is elsewhere, their sleeping patterns are often not great, etc. I mentioned that some people have written about MMOG leadership experience as a career positive or a way to learn project management skills, and he shook his head. He has been specifically asked to avoid WoW players.

Wow, poor WoW'ers. But if it makes you feel any better, bloggers are discriminated against too. Something about us being wickedly freaking handsome and having such pretty hands. Back me up here, Superficial Writer. Damn, nice cuticles, bro.

Should employers discriminate against World of Warcraft players? [boingboing]

Thanks to Darwinpolice, who's just waiting for you to kill yourself in an unbridled act of stupidity.

Dec 15 2008 I Hear Wedding Bells!: A Match Made In Halo

John Henry and Desirai Labrada (PsychoVandal and SickNdehed, respectively) met playing Halo in 2004 and are now getting married in a Halo themed wedding at this year's Otronicon gaming convention in Orlando, FL.

They met when she lived in New York and he was in Florida. She'd become Xbox Live friends with his roommate, and they slowly started to play games together, regularly. When he didn't show up online one day during the time they usually played, she sent him a message and her phone number.

"I was drawn to her laugh," John said in a phone interview with MTV News earlier this week. "I had made her laugh a few times and thought her laugh was kind of cute."

They played "Halo" as teammates. As they were falling in love, they tended to protect each other a lot, watching each other's back as lasers and grenades fell around them. And in an act of sacrifice only possible during a blossoming romance, Desirai agreed to take Dramamine so she could last through three-hour binges of campaign mode on "Halo 3" with John without getting motion sickness.

That's true love.

That IS true love. Don't give up readers, there's hope for you yet. The wedding goes down January 17th and I'm totally gonna crash it (with permission). God and booze willing, I'll even make out with a bridesmaid. Oh, and apparently the event is receiving some negative attention regarding the couple's decision to go with a video game themed wedding. Which, I think we can all agree, is utterly freaking stupidtalk. I've got news for you folks: I got married in a non-Halo themed ceremony, and you know what? That marriage went straight to shit. Coincidence? No.

A heartfelt congratulations to the husband-and-wife to be.

Halo' Wedding Planned By Two Video Game Fans; Master Chief Will Officiate [mtv]

Thanks to evilcharismatic, my woman on the inside, who promises to keep me posted on the awesomeness as it develops. Expect a followup post after the event.

Nov 24 2008 You Look Stupid When You Play Video Games. Just Kidding, Only These Kids Do

You ever wonder what you look like playing video games? Well I'll tell you: a slovenly asshole with man-tits and torn boxers lounging on a broken recliner. Psyche, that's just me. But now photographer Robbie Cooper has made a video showing just how goofy kids look while they game. Make sure to check out the girl that is either the devil or on drugs at around 1:00. No emotion. Girl could kill you and your whole family and not bat an eye. Lock her up! Or, alternatively, burn her at the stake! But, if you go with the latter, I call a drumstick.

Youtube

Thanks to Emode, who doesn't look stupid playing video games because he has laser eyes and balls the size of European castles.

Jul 1 2008 Valve Hacker Blows $20 Million With Stolen Credit Cards, Is Not The Brightest Criminal

A 20-year old hacker that goes by MaddoxX (not the best page in the universe guy) busted up in a third party Valve server and stole the credit card info of Steam Cyber Cafe users. Then he proceeded to "burn 13 million Euros playing poker online and shopping for notebooks, flat screens and MP3 players". Holy crap, this kid is either the worst poker player in the world or painted the walls of his apartment with flatscreens. And still, that'd have to be a huge freaking apartment. But then MaddoxX got real stupid about the whole thing and boasted about the hack in April of 2007 and posting a bunch of stuff about the feat, that led to his recent arrest.

MaddoxX then posted an archived file that included unverified credit card numbers, transaction amounts, Valve's supposed bank balance, and data that reportedly allowed the creation of counterfeit cyber cafe certificates.

In addition to the Valve caper, MaddoxX is being charged with hacking his way into an Activision server and subsequently downloading an unfinished version of Enemy Territory: Quake Wars. MaddoxX also stole 50,000 credit card numbers from an English ticketing website.

You just had to have that Quake Wars before everybody else, didn't you MaddoxX? Tssk, tssk. Seriously though, stealing from other gamers? That's just wrong. Robin Hood, MaddoxX, Robin Hood. It's "steal from the rich and give to the poor", not, "steal from the gamer and give to the Amazon". You greedy bastard.

Valve Hacker Caught by Dutch Police [shacknews]

Thanks Peter, now lets take turn sucker punching this guy in the nads.

Feb 7 2008 A Documentary About MMORPG Players

Second Skin is a documentary about massive multiplayer online role-playing games and the people who play them.

Second Skin takes an intimate look at computer gamers whose lives have been transformed by the emerging genre of Massively Multiplayer Online games (MMOs). World of Warcraft, Second Life, and Everquest allow millions of users to simultaneously interact in virtual spaces. Second Skin introduces us to couples who have fallen in love without meeting, disabled players who have found new purpose, addicts, Chinese gold-farming sweatshop workers, wealthy online entrepreneurs and legendary guild leaders - all living in a world that doesn’t quite exist.

Interesting. I actually just heard a story a few days ago about a guy that was two hours late picking up his fiancée from the airport because he had just got his mount in World Of Warcraft and absolutely had to ride it around for awhile before doing anything else. Not totally sure if he's still engaged or not. I think he is though, which makes his future wife one of the coolest chicks ever. Because one time I was three minutes late picking my wife up from work and she screamed at me, told me she wanted to drive on the way home, then proceeded to roll my arm up in the window and drag me six blocks.

Film Site
via
Second Skin, A Documentary About Virtual Worlds & Gamers [laughingsquid]