Sep 18 2009 Japanese 'Break The Table' Arcade Game
This is a video of a Japanese arcade game in which you try to disturb a dinner party by breaking the table. WTF, I know. That said, I woulda karate-chopped the grain outta that bitch. High score? Or score high? You have two boobs....you have four boobs.
Thanks to Shorty, who would have hid under the table and looked up your skirt.
Sep 4 2009 Oldschool Flavor: Epic Farm In Farmville
I don't play Farmville because I don't have time (also, for those of you that do play on Facebook -- I'm tired of getting updates every time your cow gives birth). But if I did you better believe this is what my farm would look like (higher res version HERE). Except Kid Icarus would be there banging Samus in a cornfield. Say metroid! Say it!
Thanks to Victoria, who has a green thumb and could grow the eyes off a potato.
Aug 21 2009 Safety First: A Chain Mail Chess Set
This is a chess set made out of chain mail. It is impervious to arrows and sword attacks. Which is good because a lot of times I like to threaten my opponents with weapons while we're playing. You know, to keep them on their toes (beat me and you're dead). You ever been maced in the face before? I'm talking about the spikey ball not the spray. That shit hurts like a mother. But not half as bad as getting trebuchet'ed in the taint. AND I CAN MAKE THAT DREAM A REALITY. Checkmate.
Hit the jump for a bunch more shots.
Jun 19 2009 Augmented Reality Zombie Hunting Game
This is a video of an augmented reality game designed by the Georgia Tech Augmented Environments Lab and the Savannah College of Art and Design - Atlanta. It's called 'ARhrrrr', which, despite sounding piratey, is actually a zombie game. It's pretty cool too. You play the game with a video phone and a pack of Skittles. I shit you not, Skittles. Taste THIS rainbow, undead whores! BOOSH BOOSH!
Thanks to Ryan, Yopoleo and Anna, who will definitely be on my zombie hunting squad should the need arise....from the dead. ZING!
May 24 2009 Fun: Mind-Control Game Coming This Fall
Mattel's much anticipated Mindflex game is allegedly dropping this October for $100. For those of you who think like I do, that's 3 lapdances at a reasonable strip club, or almost 12 at the ones I go to.
It's not often that a Mattel toy targets the 18 - 128 demographic, but we'll be frank -- the Mindflex has us all sorts of intrigued. Originally introduced at this year's CES, said game is a brain-powered fun-fest that relies on intense mental activity to control the height of a ball suspended in a column of air.
It sounds similar to that Star Wars toy coming out, but way more involved. I want one. And not just because I've been honing by ball controlling mind skills for years but *concentrating* did you see that? Look again. Now the left one's lower!
Product Site
via
Mattel's Mindflex coming October 1st for $99.99 [engadget]
May 21 2009 Cutest Thing I've Seen All Day: Whack-A-Kitty
Whack-a-Kitty is just like Whac-A-Mole at Chuck-E-Cheese except instead of winning tickets you win getting to clean litterboxes and waking up at all ungodly hours of the night. That said, this is the cutest thing I've seen in awhile. And I saw a baby duck riding a bunny riding a puppy at the park yesterday, so that's saying a lot.
Whac-A-Kitty Is a Case of Cruel and Unusual Cuteness [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who once got caught picking up field mice and bopping them on the head.
Apr 29 2009 3D Chess Adds Dimension To The Game
Tired of playing plain old chess? 3-way chess just not cutting it for you anymore? How about some 3-D chess? What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack, and fits on your back, It's 3D CHESS CHESS CHESS! Ooooh snap -- you just got Ren and Stimpy'd! Anyways, this 3D chessboard was designed by Ji Lee and bears an unstriking resemblance to Star Trek Tri-Dimensional Chess. Truthfully, I never even know the rules for chess*, I just like playing with the pieces. Haha -- my castle just stomped one of your guys with the hat! Now it's gonna....WHAT'S YOUR HORSEY DOING ON MY QUEEN?!?
3D Chessboard Is Like Q*bert for Smart People [gizmodo]
*I was kidding for the sake of the article, I'm actually a Grand Dungeon Master.
Feb 2 2009 Hey, That's Not A Cube!: Rubik's Balls
Remember the guy that took 26 years to solve a Rubik's cube? Yeah, what a loser. Whenever I'm feeling down I pop in Cheers To You! and think of him. Then I get even more depressed and start binge drinking. Anyway, Professor Erno Rubik is dropping another toy bomb on the world -- the Rubik 360. It looks like it could be fun if it was a little bigger and I was hamster.
Basically, players must get a number of colored balls from a clear inner sphere into their matching slots on the outer sphere. You'll do this by shaking the balls through a middle sphere that has only two holes.
Said Professor Rubik himself on the new puzzle that bears his name: "I feel that the 360 is one of the most innovative and exciting puzzles we've developed since the Cube - adopting elements of my original design, challenging the solver to use skill, dexterity and logic."
I don't get it. Of course, I don't get a lot of things anymore. Like your affection. I thought we had something special :,(
Rubik 360 Will Probably Take That One Guy Another 26 Years to Solve [gizmodo]
Oct 9 2008 Human Vs. Zombie Tag A Growing Trend On College Campuses, Having Sex Declining
Apparently Human Vs. Zombie Tag (HvZ) is a growing trend on college campuses.
An HvZ game typically involves hundreds of students and runs 24 hours a day for days on end; dwindling numbers of humans try to fend off and outlast growing legions of zombies.
The rules are fundamentally simple: Zombie tags human, human becomes a zombie. Unlike movie zombies, with shambling walks and undead makeup, zombies in the game just wear headbands to distinguish them from armband-wearing humans. And they are free to sprint.
If you're a human, you can "stun" zombies for 15 minutes by hitting them with a Nerf gun or balled up sock (preferably stuffed with pennies). I dunno about all that, but, for the sake of unbiased reporting, I suppose I'll have to play before passing judgment.
UPDATE: I bit some bitch's arm off! Good times!
Hit the jump for a video of a game that actually made me feel embarrassed for the guy talking.
Continue Reading " Human Vs. Zombie Tag A Growing Trend On College Campuses, Having Sex Declining "
Sep 15 2008 LED Coffee Table With 4-Person Pong
This homebrew LED coffee table is packing 65 microcontrollers and 4,092 LEDs. Why? So you can play 4-person co-op Pong of course. Note: That's a mirror under the table and not a secret passage to Wiretown.
We'd seen designs with interactive LEDs that responded to objects on the table, and they usually had around 400 LEDs...so we decided to up the ante with 10 times as many. We built the table and then decided that simple interactions were not enough, and went to work on a full-fledged game. 4-way multiplayer pong, in fact. Being geeks, we were obligated to have the game controlled using 4 Atari 2600 controllers (circa 1977). Four players sit around the table and cooperatively try to get the highest score. Score increases with each paddle hit and a new ball is introduced on hits 5, 10, 20, 30, etc.
Speaking from experience, it's never a good idea to introduce new balls into a 4-way. I've been there before, and let me tell you: when the # poles > # holes, things get awkward. Read: The new guy accused me of staring.
Hit the jump for two really awful videos of the table in action.
Aug 6 2008 James Bond Opening Played On Dormitory Windows, Also, The Snake Game!
Well we've already seen two different episodes of window Tetris, so it was only a matter of time till people starting branching out. The video above is the opening to James Bond films, and the one after the jump is of a game of Snake. You know, where you go around eating dots and growing longer. Yeah, that one. Hellafun. Both videos were made by a group of Polish college students (ZOMG -- it's a Polish computer! HAHAHAH....holy shit I'm racist.) Seriously though, could you imagine how awesome Grand Theft Auto 4 would look like played on those windows?
A. Totally rad!
II. The sickness!
C. Dude, are you retarded?
D. OMG, there's a naked chick changing in a lower-left window at 0:14!
4. Haha, just kidding.
5. Damn you, GW!
Hit the jump to see the Snake game, which features a little Pong action at the end too.
Continue Reading " James Bond Opening Played On Dormitory Windows, Also, The Snake Game! "
Jul 28 2008 Wait, What?: 25 Gesture Rock-Paper-Scissors
PRS 25 is rock-paper-scissors with 25 different gestures, also known as rock, paper, scissors, gun, dynamite, nuke, devil, laser, alien, moon, snake, sponge, cardboard, spoon, candle, dragon, geekologie writer, bowl, water, magic, dagger, tank, air, something, nachos, leopard, something, etc.. If 25 gestures is too many for you, there is also standard rock-paper-scissors and 5, 7, 9, 11, and 15 gesture varieties (and a mind-boggling 101-gesture version HERE). I like some of the explanations for why one particular sign beats another. Like, "Rock crushes woman", "Monkey flings poop at woman", and "Woman has sex with dragon". Okay, I made that last one up, but I did see it in a movie once. And that movie, my friends, was Harry Potter.
RPS-25 [newgrounds]
Thanks SomeGeek, you beat me again.
Jul 14 2008 How To Win At Claw Machines: The Little Kid Method. Also, A Picture Of My Claw Winnings
We've all heard the stories before: some kid crawls into a claw machine trying to snag a free prize. Until now we just had to read about, but here comes the video! Note to parents: no matter what your paternal instincts are telling you, a claw machine is not a suitable babysitter. Hard to believe, I know.
Hit the jump for a picture I took with my cameraphone a while ago with a bunch of my claw machine winnings laid out (I'm a real catch ladies). Seriously, those are mine, and yes, the bullwhip in front actually came out of a claw machine. It was right next to a slingshot.
Jul 7 2008 Not Bad: Game Cartridge Plays NES Games
I don't actually know what kind of hardware setup is packed into the cartridge, all I know is that it's a NES cartridge and it plays NES games. Which is all that matters to me. I don't care if there's a fairy trapped inside that makes it all happen. Good work modder, but now I wanna see a GameBoy cartridge that plays games. Because that, my friends, would be some nanodamntechnology. I swear, those cartridges were so tiny I was always losing them -- at least that's what I though at the time. Years later I found out my older sister was selling them to buy drugs.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures. Oh, and feel free to jump in if you've got any more info on the cartridge or if my sister sold you my Kid Icarus game -- I want that one back.
Continue Reading " Not Bad: Game Cartridge Plays NES Games "
Apr 24 2008 A Vision Of The Future: Robots With Lasers
These Kondo KHR-1HV robots are all rocking lasers for a world domination training exercise poorly disguised as the Blazer robot tournament in Fukuoka City, Japan. The little guys ran around shooting each other and pew-pewing to their mechanical heart's content in a little mock-up city made just for them. Whoever thought that this would be a good idea was wrong. The little bastards are going to kill us all. I mean, these people are indirectly training our future overlords by allowing them to play these war games. I guess what I'm getting at is that I've built a hidden shelter beneath my tool shed in the back yard and I'm looking for several attractive young ladies to join me. I am now officially accepting applications. But no funny stuff! Namely scrunching your penis up behind you so it looks like you don't have one. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice a week for the entire duration of a five month relationship and I am freaking scarred for life. Thanks a lot.
VIDEO of the little guys duking it out laser style after the jump.
Continue Reading " A Vision Of The Future: Robots With Lasers "
Apr 17 2008 Another Kid Gets Stuck In A Claw Machine
Do you remember the story from two years ago where the kid in Wisconsin climbed into a crane game trying to score a free Spongebob? If not here's a link to it, and that's actually a picture of him there. Well folks, it happened again, and this time in Australia in a game called Lucky Dip. Weird I was just talking about my love of crane games yesterday don't you think? Coincidence or superpower? You decide. Anyway, there's a video of the amazing rescue (taking off the side of the machine) after the jump. Although I think that was a little over the top. Not to brag or anything, but I could have snagged the little bugger by the head with a single quarter. Sure it wouldn't have done anything seeing how he's just standing in the prize chute, but it would have taught his parents a valuable lesson. A lesson about not stuffing your child into a vending machine for a "time out".
Video of the action packed after the jump.
Continue Reading " Another Kid Gets Stuck In A Claw Machine "
Feb 29 2008 Waffle Tetris Is Delicious But Needs Syrup
Well last week it was Tetris ice cubes and then a few days ago was Captain Quickfingers playing Tetris at supersonic speeds and invisibly, and now comes Waffle Tetris. As is evident from the picture, Waffle Tetris is Tetris played with waffle bits on a paper towel. What fun! And while the gamer is about to lay the current tetrad in a shitty spot, they've got the long stick coming up which they've been saving for that far right side. And you know what that means -- they'll have to munch the bottom four rows! How delicious. I've been so inspired I'm going to make some waffles right now and play a round, I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: So I was out of damn waffles. I bet my dick of a roommate ate them all behind my back. I was determined to do some breakfast gaming though, so I gave it a go with oatmeal. Fail.
tetris waffles: how to play with your food [technabob]
Feb 21 2008 It's About Freaking Time: The Nubrella
The Nubrella is a $60 hands-free umbrella. If you can't tell from the pictures it's fairly ridiculous looking. Now I've never been one to really care what I look like, particularly out in the elements, but I still don't think I could bring myself to don a Nubrella.
Nubrella is no ordinary umbrella, it stops rain, wind, snow and extreme cold- and keeps your head, face and shoulders drier than ever. It offers more protection, guaranteed! Yet, nubrella went one step further and is changing the game forever. With nubrella's new patent pending "shoulder straps" and "offset handle" you can now be completely hands free!
Wow, "changing the game forever", that's a pretty bold statement. Now exactly what game are we talking about here? I need to know so I'm never caught accidentally playing. Nubrella - I'd rather be soaked.
A couple more ridiculous pictures after the jump.
Feb 20 2008 Guitar Hero Loses Something During The Move To Pocket Sized Playability
Now I'm not saying this 7 ¾” X 3" pocket-sized Guitar Hero game isn't going to be any fun, it's just that, well, damnit, it's not. Okay maybe a little. For a minute. The questionable device has a number of songs from the first two video games and the neck of the guitar (which serves no purpose) folds into the body, so you don't have to worry about it poking a hole in your jewels. They hit shelves early next month for around $15. Just imagine -- how funny will it be when you can ask people if that's a Guitar Hero in their pocket or are they just happy to see you? If you answered not funny at all you're correct.
guitar hero: get in my pocket [technabob]
Dec 12 2007 The Shotcaller Calls The Shots (Of Beer)
I remember the days in college when we'd play Power Hour. Except it's not so much a game as it is drinking a shot of beer every minute for an hour. Ah, fond memories. Well if you still play now you can buy the Shot Caller device, which flashes a light and makes an audible announcement every minute so you know when to drink. It's nice and big too so it'll be easy to read when things start to get blurry. It costs $15 and can be set to any length of time you want to play. Which is actually a lie, because when I tried to set it for "the rest of my life" the thing started smoking and then exploded.
