May 26 2009 Modern Fossils: When A Dino Bone Won't Do
Christopher Locke makes modern fossils using gadgets of yesteryear and concrete. Then he sells them to make a profit because he's smart and doesn't want to hold a real job. I'm with you, Chris.
The modern Fossils are made from actual archaic technology that was once cutting-edge. Most of these examples were discovered in the United States, although the various species are represented all over the world.
In a special process, these items are reproduced in a proprietary blend of concrete and other secret ingredients, giving them the look and feel of real stone fossils. Each fossil is made one at a time, by hand, in an individual mold.
Depending on the species, expect to pay between $65-$100 per fossil. Or, make your own with a bag of concrete and a broken controller. Here, I'll even give away Chris's secret ingredients: rocks and sand. GO GO GO!
Hit the jump to see a bunch more and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Modern Fossils: When A Dino Bone Won't Do "
Jan 23 2009 Concealed Dork Permit: The Gadget Holster
Oh God, please don't shoot -- with your iPhone! BWHAHHAHAH! Let me guess -- you failed the police academy entrance exam again.
The fashionable e-Volve™ Gadget Shoulder Holster is a new "carry all" shoulder holster that allows you to get all of your personal electronic gadgets off your belt, out of your pockets and into a comfortable shoulder holster.
The e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Holster is designed to "evolve" and adapt to the reality of constant state of change in personal electronics by enabling you to wear your present and future gadgets. This evolutionary capability is achieved by a simple, but functional design of this ergonomic shoulder holster.
I bet it's got a place to store Awethumbs! And it's only 70! F*** a fanny-pack, I want an e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Douche Holster! Watch this little trick -- nothing in my hands right.....BOOM, iPhone! Haha, I'd bet you'd you like to know where it came from -- too bad it's called magic. I'm serious, I had to fellate the sorcerer's apprentice.
Thanks to Atlas Thugged, who done crushed that punk bitch to deaf wif the planet, son.
Aug 20 2008 Solar Panel Tie Can Charge Your Gadgets
This solar panel tie collects light and, through a process that even Scientologists don't understand, converts it to usable energy. The tie has a little pocket on the back that stores the gadget you're charging, and is completely impractical. I'm all for green shit (figuratively), but I just don't see these catching on. The majority of guys that have to wear ties (like me) work in fluorescent cubicle farms where this thing would get little to no charge. I mean, I can't even see a freaking window from here. We used to have one, but management boarded it up when they found out we liked looking out of it. What somebody needs to do is invent solar powered hard hats or something a landscaper would wear, like, I dunno, a suntan. Oh my God, I'm brilliant.
Hello, patent office? Are you sitting down? Good, now put this in your pipe and smoke it -- solar-powered suntans! I drew a picture and everything. Well, it's on a bar napkin, so I'll just tell you -- it's a really tan guy on a lawnmower charging a boombox. It's great, he's got a cord coming out of his belly button and everything. Hello? HELLO?
Solar Powered Tie Seems Great, Probably Won't See Much Light [ohgizmo]
Jan 22 2008 Powerstick USB Charger Is Small, Tempting
The Powerstick is a little 40 gram device designed to recharge your gadgets when they run out of juice (not the fruit variety, I'm talking power here). It fully recharges via USB in 90 minutes and is then ready to charge your mobile devices. "It can charge a portable device as fast as a wall charger can, and will in theory double the battery life of your phone, PDA or MP3 player. It even includes 9 connectors covering everything from Nokia, Sony Ericsson, LG, Motorola, Blackberry and Samsung phones to the iPod and even the iPhone." The thing costs $70 and has a nice little gas gauge style power meter on top. A nice touch if I do say so myself. Speaking of nice touches, I need a massage. First one to come over with some scented massage oils wins the annual "Give The Geekologie Writer A Massage" contest. Winner takes home a mysterious rash and any unused oils.
Powerstick Portable USB Charger [ohgizmo]
Jan 2 2008 USB Eye Warmer Keeps Your Peepers Toasty
This product is a dream come true. Just yesterday I was thinking to myself "Jesus my eyes are cold, if I don't warm those bitches up they'll freeze right out of their sockets". And then along comes Brando (surprise, surprise) to the rescue with the USB Eye Warmer ($15).
Just put up the USB Eye Warmer, it can warm up your eyes and help you to get rid of tired. It not only relaxes your eyes but also comforts your entire body.
So it helps you get rid of tired. I assume they mean tired eyes and not tired body, because that dude in the picture is passed the f*** out. Which would indicate it doesn't get rid of being tired at all. Still, any USB device that makes me fall asleep at work is okay in my book.
Note: Seeing how this thing is made by Brando it's not recommended you use the 'high' setting unless you're fine with the unit catching fire and burning your face off. Just kidding, I'm sure it's safe.
USB Eye Warmer [7gadgets]
Nov 15 2007 Duracell Provides Solution To Dying Gadgets
The Duracell PowerSource Mobile 100 is a rechargeable power supply for your precious gadgets and gizmos.
The Duracell PowerSource Mobile 100 is the portable, rechargeable AC and USB power solution for all your mobile needs. It will extend the runtime of all of your mobile electronics such as an iPod, BlackBerry, video camera, cell phone and more. It will provide up to two hours of extended run time for your laptop. The Duracell PowerSource Mobile 100 has one AC outlet and two USB charge ports, so you can run or charge multiple devices simultaneously. You no longer have to carry extra cords, chargers and device-specific batteries.
They retail for $140, and I think I may be getting one. That is if I'm on Santa's good list this year. Apparently last year I was on the bad list. Christmas comes, Santa shows up and eats his milk and cookies, then kicks me in the balls and tells me I should burn in hell. This year I'm setting a trap for good measure. I'm taking the fat bastard's whole present sack.
Duracell PowerSource Mobile 100 [ubergizmo]
Nov 13 2007 Clam Shell Opener Opens Packages Easily
The Dual Bladed EZ Clam Shell Opener from ThinkGeek is a device made for opening those annoying-as-hell clamshells that everything I buy seems to come in these days. It'll set you back $5, and in an ironic twist, the "Product comes in clam shell packaging (the last one you'll ever struggle to open!)". Oh the hilarity! Too bad I ordered one a week ago and now it's sitting in a pile with the rest of unopened clam shells. You see, I'm not allowed to use scissors anymore without adult supervision. You stab yourself in the head three times...
Aug 13 2007 Typing Speed USB Light
Because all things USB make my heart race I bring to you the USB Typing Speed Light. When you are not typing the light is yellow, when you start it turns blue, and the faster you go the brighter it gets. Of course I have no need for the likes of this because I know exactly how fast I type. I don't. I have a gorgeous personal secretary that does my typing for me - I just have to talk. Which is what I'm doing right now. Isn't that right sugarlips? Why don't you come over here and sit that sweet fanny on the captain's lap? But add the link first.
Typing Speed USB Light [Tokyomango]
Aug 13 2007 Electronic Meat Sniffer
For those of you out there that like to cook, here's a little something to help determine if the meat that someone slaps on your grill is safe to eat. With the push of a button the SensorfreshQ Freshness Meter will let you know if meat is fresh (green light), must be used soon (yellow), or nasty (red). Apparently red is defined as when "the bacteria colony count exceeds 10 million colony forming units per gram." I don't know what that means but it sounds frightening. As a side note, I tested my meat and got the yellow light, so time is limited ladies - to the basement (but be quiet, my mom is sleeping).
Electronic Meat Sniffer [Cooking Gadgets]
Aug 8 2007 The Piss Screen toilet game
The Piss-Screen is a pressure-sensitive inlay for urinals that lets you play a game with your pee. It was designed for bars so people would take a taxi instead of driving home drunk. The game is modeled after Need for Speed so that people end up crashing if their reaction is too slow. After crashing, the game flashes the message: "Too pissed to drive? Take a Taxi instead!” Although if they really want to keep people from driving drunk, they should've invested in my idea: it's a toilet that measures your blood alcohol level, and if it's too high, a fist flies out of the wall and knocks you out. And then I come by and take your wallet. Everybody wins!
The Piss Screen [Official Site]
Aug 6 2007 Go-llerblades motorized skates
Instructables has a nice tutorial on how to create motorized skates using a pair of inline skates, an angle grinder, and a bag of 12 volt batteries. And just how safe are these? Well instead of brakes, this is how you stop:
In this version, I just put trust in my sense of balance and lifted my foot off the ground while flailing to find a power cable to rip out.
Although I'm too much man to use roller skates. No, instead I just strap live bears to my feet and have them carry me around.
Tutorial [Instructables]
Aug 3 2007 Skullcandy G.I. Headphones
Skullcandy's new G.I. Headphones come in a variety of military-inspired styles, and even come with bullets across the leather band. They cost $69.95 - which is a bit much considering they're purely fashion-oriented - but they look pretty hardcore. Bullets on the band! These are the kind of headphones you should wear while eating eating a raw steak and spitting.
Product Page [Skullcandy]
Aug 2 2007 Mr. Tengu
Mr. Tengu is a little USB gadget that changes faces based on the sounds in the room. The little guy responds to sounds, music, and other stimuli with a range of facial expressions, and even sleeps when he gets tired. So basically he does absolutely nothing except stand there and look cute. Just like me! *yawn* Nap time.
Jul 30 2007 Possessed Books
For $25 you can get these Possessed Books, which look like regular Victorian books but contain a motion detector so whenever somebody walks by the middle book will slide out. The books also emit "spooky sounds" which I imagine to be more comical than scary. If you really want to scare people, just hide in your bookshelf, and whenever somebody walks by jump out and punch them in the face.
Product Page [Thinks You Never Knew Existed]
Jul 27 2007 Levitating Desktop Globes
Who knew there was such a big market for levitating globes? This one isn't nearly as cool though since it needs a top and bottom magnet.
A magnetic field sensor continually measures the height at which the globes are suspended. This sensor feeds that data into a micro computer in the base of the unit. This computer then calibrates the electronic magnets at the top of the frame based on the distance between the globes and the top magnet to keep the globes correctly positioned.
There's a 4" and 8" version which sell for $39.99 and $74.99 respectively. Or a 443,520" version which I'm selling for $1 million. It floats in space and circles the sun and doesn't even need a stupid magnet.
Product Page [Think Geek]
Jul 26 2007 Transformers Bumblebee Speakers
Brando is selling these dancing Transformers Bumblebee speakers for $58.90. The Bumblebee speakers will actually dance to your music and even play it back with Transformers sound effects.
In a twist of customized cool, Bumblebee takes your tunes and plays them back to you with TRANSFORMERS sound effects! Touch Bumblebee to mix beats with your music, or sit back and watch it dance!
The dancing sounds neat, but why would anybody want Transformers sound effects in their music? It'd be like buying a speaker to take a crap in your ear.
Product Page [Brando via Gizmodo]
Jul 26 2007 First Person Pinball Machine
This is a few years old, but the Furminator is a first person pinball machine that puts you inside the perspective of the actual machine:
The ////furminator is a pinball machine that puts the player in a first person perspective similar to modern "EGO Shooter" video games. Like being inside a huge VR-helmet, the player's head is stuck into the ////furminator capsule. His nose is situated right behind the flipper fingers, only centimeters away from the ball. Sealed off from reality and with his head arrested inside a force-feedback-helmet, the sound- and lighteffects, the mechanical noises of the pinball and the absorbing perspective create a highly immersive mechatronic environment.
I've always wanted to play pinball in the first person. I've also wanted to play it while on fire and juggling chainsaws. Some might consider me an"unusual" person, but my mom says I'm special.
Product Page [Fursr]
Jul 25 2007 Garnet Hertz' Experiments in Galvanism
Experiments in Galvanism is an art project by Garnet Hertz to implant a miniature webserver into the body of a frog.
Garnet Hertz has implanted a miniature webserver in the body of a frog specimen, which is suspended in a clear glass container of mineral oil, an inert liquid that does not conduct electricity. The frog is viewable on the Internet, and on the computer monitor across the room, through a webcam placed on the wall of the gallery. Through an Ethernet cable connected to the embedded webserver, remote viewers can trigger movement in either the right or left leg of the frog, thereby updating Luigi Galvani's original 1786 experiment causing the legs of a dead frog to twitch simply by touching muscles and nerves with metal.
Yes, that's right. He stuck a webserver into a frog and is allowing remote viewers to move its legs around. Some might call this useless or pointless, but I call it the greatest human achievement since the moon landing.
A disgusting pic of the insides after the jump.
Jul 20 2007 Electromagnetic Floating Planet Earth Globe
This electromagnetic globe costs about $140 and floats in the air as if by magic. And when I say "as if by magic" I mean by actual magic. How else would you explain it? Physics? Ha! I laugh at your physics. This, my friends, is sorcery.
Jul 12 2007 Sideways Bike
Inventor Michael Killian has designed the Sideways Bike, which is exactly what it sounds like: a bike you ride sideways. The Sideways Bike uses Front to Back balance rather than the traditional Left to Right balance used in regular bikes, creating the sensation of surfing down the road. Sort of like tying a surfboard to the back of a car and "hanging ten." Although that sensation is less like surfing, and more like falling off a surfboard and being dragged on pavement for 100 meters.
