Oct 9 2009 Not A Plane: Nissan's Futuristic Land Glider
Sure it may look like a spaceship's cockpit, but it's not! It's the cockpit of Nissan's Land Glider, a conceptual car design recently unveiled at the Tokyo Motor Show.
This is the Nissan Land Glider, an electric car with two seats. it has a narrow body, which Nissan says will help reduce traffic congestion by allowing more cars in the same city space, as well as making parking easier. It has a balancing system to make it stable as it takes curves, compensating for inertia with the car's body movement.
I actually like it (hit the jump for more shots and a video). And not just because it looks skinny enough to bob and weave between a giant robot's legs, but that's something you have to think about when you're in the market for a futuristic car. Also, standard weaponry and estimated RBI. Ha, what do you mean that's a baseball stat? SHUT UP I KNOW CAR STUFF!
Hit it for for more pictures and a 6:00 video.
Continue Reading " Not A Plane: Nissan's Futuristic Land Glider "
Oct 1 2009 Pew Pew Pew!: Fallout 3 Laser Rifle Replica
Harrison Krix of Volpin Props (who also made the amazingly realistic ADAM syringe) went and constructed an accurate replica of the AER9 Laser Rifle from Fallout 3 out of wood. In 30 hours. With only minimal black magic. I want it. After all, life is all about the pews. Obvioiusly, I'm talking about those chairs at church. I can't stand and pray for shit!
Build Page [volpinprops] (with a ton of pics, including the build)
and
Make your own Fallout 3 laser rifle for fun and profit [dvice]
Thanks to Trav and SC2ZERGOMG, who once shot each other in the eyes with lasers and are now both legally blind. Good going, guys. At least you get eyepatches!
Jul 10 2009 In Disguise: Learn Your Secret Cyborg Name
There will come a time when we all have to wear spraypainted cardboard box robot costumes to prevent detection and subsequent elimination by our mechanical overlords. And we're gonna need names too, just in case we get sucked into a conversation with one of those chatty metallic bastards. Thankfully, somebody was able to steal this Cyborg Name Decoder from the future. As you can see, Geekologie now becomes the General Electronic Entity Keen on Online Learning, Omnipresent Gratification and Immediate Exploration. Which is pretty ironic because I AM keen on immediate exploration. You see where I'm going with this? The first date. YOW YOW!
The Cyborg Name Decoder (also available on Facebook)
Thanks to BossMan and Joemo, who once tied a brick to a robot and then lit it on fire and pushed it off a cliff while stabbing it and shooting arrows.
Jun 5 2009 XM-25 Shoots Laser Guided Exploding Bullets
I haven't decided if the new XM-25 will be a useful weapon against the robotic uprising yet, but I'm leaning towards *pew pew*. Hook me up government, I pay my damn taxes. Well, I did last year anyways.
The system is clever enough to detonate its exploding 25mm bullets within 3 feet of their targets, picking off unfortunate foes with uncanny accuracy, even when they're hiding behind obstacles.
After calculating the target's distance with a laser rangefinder, this lethal weapon sends a radio signal to a chip inside the bullet. That brilliant projectile can precisely measure the distance it's traveled, exploding at precisely the right distance for maximum killage.
Oh shit yeah I need one of these. Maximum killage, that's what I'm talking about. You here that, Skynet -- MAXIMUM KILLAGE. I will ride into battle atop my trusty tyrannosaur steed and pew pew your shit all up. Then, my mount will dine on all the dead Terminators while I reach around him for a job well done.
May 26 2009 Sneak Preview: The Third Generation Kindle?
This is a sneak preview of the 3rd generation Kindle robot book. It's pretty much exactly what I expect to see Amazon roll out next year. And speaking of rolling out -- transform! I said transform! *touching breast* Stupid mannequin.
The Kindle 3 [collegehumor]
Thanks to Julian, who never learned to read and is already on the waiting list.
May 20 2009 Awesome: The Future According To Microsoft
This is a video of the future according to Microsoft. And, despite not owning a Zune, I would totally live there. In a treehouse, bitches, a treehouse. Close your eyes -- can you see it? It looks like Tarzan dry humping Judy Jane Jetson.
Microsoft's REAL Vision of the Future [gizmodo]
Apr 1 2009 Great: Controlling Robots With Your Mind
The Honda Research Institute Japan, along with ATR and Shimadzu Corporation (all of whom can expect threatening letters from yours truly) has developed a system that makes it possible to control robots with your thoughts alone. Wow, this doesn't sound scary at all.
The technology uses electroencephalography (EEG) and near-infrared spectroscopy (NIRS) to allow a human to control a robot, in this case the Honda ASIMO, using mere thought. The technology offers up to 90 percent control accuracy without the use of physical implants, a huge milestone in human-to-robot interface that the research group hopes will yield new advances in robotics and artificial intelligence.
What could possibly go wrong? Besides everything. And by everything I mean the destruction of the entire human race. And also, this LEGO castle I'm building. But I put so much time into it!
Hit the jump for a video explaining the technology.
Continue Reading " Great: Controlling Robots With Your Mind "
Feb 27 2009 Aha!: The Secret To Google Street View
You ever wonder how those Google Street cars are covering the world's roads so quickly? Hyperdrive, baby, hyperdrive. CLICK CLICK VROOM VROOM!
Google Maps
Thanks to kulow, who discovered the worm hole searching for directions to Jimmy John's. Subs so fast you'll freak, mmmm.
Feb 9 2009 'Sixth Sense' Device Created, Sadly Doesn't Capture The Ghost That Lives In My Closet
The brainiacs at MIT have gone and created a 'sixth sense' device, which is basically a smart phone/camera/projector combo small enough to be worn on your face like my fist. KA-POW! Also, it does stuff, and won't leave you bruised.
The device...can turn any surface into a touch-screen for computing, controlled by simple hand gestures. The gadget can even take photographs if a user frames a scene with his or her hands, or project a watch face with the proper time on a wrist if the user makes a circle there with a finger. The device can recognize items on store shelves, retrieving and projecting information about products or even providing quick signals to let users know which choices suit their tastes.
Other than letting some of you live out your fantasy of looking as cool as Tom Cruise in 'Minority Report' it can really let you connect as a sixth sense device with whatever is in front of you," said MIT researcher Patty Maes."It is very much a work in progress. Maybe in ten years we will be here with the ultimate sixth-sense brain implant."
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Brain implants -- that's where I draw the line. There may be nothing but cobwebs, The Golden Girls theme song, and a candy bar wrapper up there, but, damnit, this is my brain we're talking about here. That said, I'll saw my own skull open if it gives me x-ray vision.
MIT researchers make 'sixth sense' gadget [physorg]
Thanks to Ain and Icehawg, who created a 7th sense device but their research was muffled because it was too far ahead of its time.
Feb 6 2009 Moon, Here I Come!: Scientists Succeed In Teleporting Matter A Whole Three Feet
That's right folks, I estimate in a few short months we'll all be able to teleport ourselves to our favorite vacation spots. Or inside a bank vault -- or the women's locker room! The possibilities I'm imagining are staggering, and, for the most part, illegal. Awh yeah -- breaking the law with science!
No one is galaxy-hopping, or even beaming people around, but for the first time, information has been teleported between two separate atoms across a distance of a meter -- about a yard.
In the Jan. 23 issue of the journal Science, the scientists report that, by using their protocol, atom-to-atom teleported information can be recovered with perfect accuracy about 90 percent of the time -- and that figure can be improved.
Well I would hope that figure can be improved. If 1 out of 10 teleporters winds up with their penis for an arm, well, I want a penis arm! Seriously though, I think we can all agree: this is one small step for man, one ironically giant leap for me never having to move again. Tele-beer me!
Hit the link for a much more in-depth article that better explains the science behind teleportation (read: transfer of quantum information).
Scientist Teleport Matter More Than Three Feet [foxnews]
Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck, Marc and Pete, who once teleported themselves to China to ride in a rickshaw.
Jan 5 2009 Conceptual Hydrogen Vehicle Is Questionable To Say The Least, Stupid To Say A Little More
The Ozone is a conceptual hydrogen fuel cell vehicle that looks like a coffee can. I can only assume it's the brainchild of a design student that stayed up all night snorting Adderall the day before their semester-project was due.
The vehicle works on hydrogen powered fuel cells and looks futuristic in every way possible. The body is encased between two giant wheels controlled by separate motors which are powered by fuel cells, though this two seater looks more like a design picked straight out of fantasy due to its semi transparent glass casing and controlled by joystick.
Eh. Nice try, budding designer, but if this thing is so futuristic, where are the rockets? Things are going to float in the future, not roll. It's time for a change. I mean, shit's been rolling since Ug pushed his cave-bitch down a hill. Now for your homework assignment I want you to go home and watch some Jetsons.
Ozone Hydrogen Powered Car with 2 Giant Wheels [tuvie]
Thanks to Carlos, who once made love to a chick with a jetpack on because he likes to live dangerously.
Dec 9 2008 Pentagon PEWing For Guided Bullet Tech
The Pentagon is tossing $22 million at developing guided bullet technology that would enable a bullet to change course midflight because it wasn't shot right first in the first place, the wind changed, or the head you were aiming at moved. *closing blinds* Greeeaaaaat.
Darpa won't say, publicly, how far, how long and how accurate they want the new bullets to be -- all that information is classified. But they will say that Exacto should contain a next-gen scope, a guidance system that provides information to direct the projectile, an "actively controlled .50-caliber projectile that uses this information for real-time directional flight control," and a rifle. "Technologies of interest may include: fin-stabilized projectiles, spin-stabilized projectiles, internal and/or external aero-actuation control methods, projectile guidance technologies, tamper proofing, small stable power supplies, and advanced sighting, optical resolution and clarity technologies."
Hey Darpa, I hate to ruin the party, but guided bullets already exist. They're called missiles. Yeah, they're laser guided and they shoot out of my penis. PEW on this, moneywasters! Oh, just a minute. *PSSH* Oh -- *PSSSSHHH* Aaaahh -- *PSSSSSHOOOOOOOOW!!*
Pentagon Shoots $22 Million Into Guided-Bullet Tech [wired]
Thanks to Erick, who came up with that PEW *WHOOSH* PEW thing, and never misses the urinal.
Aug 13 2008 Is This The Car Of The Future? (Hint: No)
This is a BMW concept car designed by Transportation Design students Jai Ho Yoo and Lukas Vanek from the instituo Europeo di Design. They imagined the ZX-6 after being asked what the vehicles of 2015 would look like. Now call me crazy, but isn't 2015 just 7 years away? These guys are nuts. Besides, by 2015 we're not going to be driving cars anyways. Nope, the only thing we'll be driving is golf balls -- on Mars. ZOMG, Interplanetary Olympics!
Aug 7 2008 Seriously, What Could Go Wrong?: United States Military To Be 30% Robotic By 2020
The U.S. military has a goal -- that it's 30% robotic in twelve years. Why? Because robots don't feel pain, and when they die you just solder them back together or build a bitchin' chair out of the scrap metal.
While advances in robot technology will probably result in more radical robot designs and allow for the military's goal of a 30-percent robotic force, there will always be human involvement in the control process. Researcher Bill Smart had this to say about our future robot army:"It's a chain of command thing. You don't want to give autonomy to a weapons delivery system. You don't want the robot to make the wrong decision."
Wow, somebody actually talking some sense for once. Clever, Bill. Or should I say smart? Get it? Because that's your last name. No, I'm not making fun of you. Jesus, it was a compliment you jackass.
Anyway, this whole human vs. robot for control of weapons systems is a real Catch 22 (love you Joseph). On the one hand, you don't want robots to have any control over anything, because all they want to do is kill us all and have oily robotic orgies. But on the other hand, you put a man in front of a giant red button that reads "DO NOT PUSH, THE WORLD WILL END" and 9 times out of 10 -- as soon as nobody's watching -- he's got his pants around his ankles and is mashing that thing with his dick like candy's gonna rain from the sky.
U.S. Military To Be 30 Percent Robotic In Twelve Years [io9]
Thanks to Karilyn, whose radiant beauty had originally distracted me from giving her credit for the tip.
Jul 31 2008 Air Force Seeks Anti-PEW-PEW Spray
In a recent request for proposals, the Air Force has asked for the development of an anti-laser spray or embeddable layer than can be retrofitted on equipment and prevent it from being damaged by pew-pews for up to five seconds.
The idea isn't to render the weapons "impervious" to ray gun blasts. The Air Force just wants the shield to delay the laser burning through a weapon's skin -- five seconds or so ought to do the job. The best way to make it happen, the service believes, is with "a thermal protection coating (e.g., spray-on) or a broadband reflector embedded layer on [the] munition['s] skin."
Basically, we want to be able to get a missile to target without being lasered out of the sky. After skimming over the request (okay, so I didn't actually read it), I quickly filed a proposal.
To: Whoever dishes out the grant money
From: The Geekologie Writer
Subject: Request For Anti-Pew-Pew Technology
Two words: Duct to the muthaf***in' tape. Cash or Paypal preferred. Thank you.
CHA-CHING!
Note: The video just demonstrates how laser shoot downs work.
Air Force Looks to Laser-Proof Its Weapons [wired]
Thanks to Richie, who actually coined the term "anti-pew-pew-spray".
Feb 11 2008 Grabit Pack: Fanny Pack Of The Future
I like the look of the Grabit Pack. It looks like some sort of military issue gun holster or something. But it was really designed to hold your cellphone, keys and wallet due to the inevitable Pant Pocket Ban of 2009. You can get both right and left-legged models and they run $28 including shipping. Speaking of left-legged models, I used to date a girl with a pegleg. Not one of those modern prosthetics mind you, I'm talking a straight-up pirate pegleg. I think it was actually from an old dining room table. We made a great match, she and I, seeing how we both had wooden prosthesis. Ah, Pegleg Pam, your Captain Stumpdong misses you.
Two more pictures explaining how to use the device after the jump.
Feb 1 2008 Navy Tests New Railgun, It Looks Promising
The Navy is hoping that their newest 10 megajoule railgun (topping their old pathetic 9 megajoule) will replace the standard 5-inch guns on most of their ships. Projectiles fired at this energy level reach about 5,600 mph, but the Navy isn't stopping there. They have their eyes set on a 64 megajoule system capable of shooting at over 13,000 mph and hitting 5 meter targets from 200 nautical miles.
To give you a sense of scale, an 8 megajoule test shot has an impacting force that the Navy describes as being the equivalent of “hitting a target with a Ford Taurus at 380 mph.”
I don't know about the whole Ford Taurus comparison, what I want to know is whether this level of energy is in excess of the 1.21 jigowatts needed to power my flux capacitor. Somebody please do the math. I'm trying to time travel here people. I'm stealing electricity from both my neighbors but I'm still nowhere close to 1.21 jigos. I'd do the whole lightning bit, but frankly it scares me. As an added bonus anybody who helps me break in and steal this electricity (if it's enough) gets a free historical figure's autograph or pet dinosaur, your choice.
Two wicked videos of the gun in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Navy Tests New Railgun, It Looks Promising "
Nov 28 2007 Keyless Keyboard: Wack, Uses Orbs, WTF!?
Sure the QWERTY keyboard may have some issues that need to be addressed in the long run, but I have a hard time believing the OrbiTouch Keyless Keyboard ($400) is going to be the peripheral of the future. Sure it's a far cry from the stupidity of this keyboard, but that doesn't mean anything. How does it work you ask?
Each dome slides into one of 8 zones to type a character. The domes do not twist. Either dome can slide first or move both at the same time. Domes slide toward the center of their respective color or character zones -- not directly at the character. Slide the right dome to the zone of the character you want to type; slide the left dome to the color of that character.
So that's how it works. I still don't get it. May be a great idea for people with disabilities or others with limited motor skills, but for an everyday user? I doubt it. I can burn a QWERTY keyboard with upwards of like 10,000 WPM. Which is one thing I couldn't find out about the OrbiTouch -- how many words per minute can someone prolific with the device type? I couldn't find it on their website. Because it's 10.
OrbiTouch Keyless Keyboard [coolestgadgets]
Aug 17 2007 Galactic Suites Space Hotel
Galactic Suites, the first space hotel, is scheduled to open in 2012, a scant 5 years from now. For the low, low price of $4 million you get an unbelievable 3 night stay in outer space.
During that time guests would see the sun rise 15 times a day and use Velcro suits to crawl around their pod rooms by sticking themselves to the walls like Spiderman.
Throw in one of those Las Vegas style directories of intergalactic three-hootered space hookers, and you can count this guy in (and $3,999,984.25 short on payment). Why's it got to be about them making money, why can't it be about me makin' space love?
One more of a proposed suite after the jump.
Aug 8 2007 The Piss Screen toilet game
The Piss-Screen is a pressure-sensitive inlay for urinals that lets you play a game with your pee. It was designed for bars so people would take a taxi instead of driving home drunk. The game is modeled after Need for Speed so that people end up crashing if their reaction is too slow. After crashing, the game flashes the message: "Too pissed to drive? Take a Taxi instead!” Although if they really want to keep people from driving drunk, they should've invested in my idea: it's a toilet that measures your blood alcohol level, and if it's too high, a fist flies out of the wall and knocks you out. And then I come by and take your wallet. Everybody wins!
The Piss Screen [Official Site]
