Nov 20 2009 Wow, Video Game Religion -- Mass: We Pray
Mass We Pray is a video game to get that Holy Spirit all up in your system and have fun with the whole family at the same time. With fun interactive mini-games like 'Conduct the Choir' and 'Genuflecting', you're sure to make Jesus proud (who's ALWAYS watching, BTW). Looks fun, doesn't it? That said, this is viral advertising for Dante's Inferno dropping in February. But I want to see how many people didn't bother reading this far and think it's real and then make comments about it. Because you know there's gonna be some. Then they're gonna wish they could delete their comments but they won't be able to and we'll all laugh and call them names! Trust me, its WJWD.
Thanks to mensa, Nicole, MoD and daniel, who are praying all the theaters showing New Moon spontaneously combust.
Nov 9 2009 Orgy: The Awesomest Game Ever Made?
I've never played Orgy (larger ad shot HERE) before but I would given the opportunity and the right group of guys.
Here's the exciting new indoor sport for people who love people. Orgy begins by choosing up sides (delightful custom) and centers around the "Porron" (translation: "to pour it on") filled with your favorite libation. Object of the game is to see which team achieves the longest trajectory for the longest time with the fewest spills. Rewards to winners are optional.
This game used to sell for $10 back in the 70's and was ordered by really skeezy people like your parents. You know they used to go to key parties!
WTF! Orgy : The 1970s Board Game [iambored]
Thanks to Jennifer, who only swings on swingsets and not married couples or so she says.
Oct 4 2009 I Would Totally Suck Those: Dino Ice Bones
These are dino bone shaped ice cube trays from design firm Fred. They come in Triceratops and T-Rex models and I would totally suck on either one. Unfortunately, I can't imagine these bones lasting too long in a drink. OR MY BED.
Need to dig up a clever party accessory? Look no further than our ice-cold fossils - these two assorted dinos will add the perfect Ice Age touch to your modern drinks.
OMG I've never wanted to choke to death on something so bad in my entire life!
Thanks to Sarah, who allegedly cools her drinks with actual chilled dinosaur bones. I'm gonna raid your freezer!
Sep 21 2009 I Can't Even See The Puck: Trippy Air Hockey
This is video of a Japanese air hockey table (possibly manufactured by Sega) that's designed to give game participants seizures. I couldn't even see the puck most of the time. And not just because I was rolling around on the floor clutching my eyes, but I was. Your mom keeps sending nudey pics!
Hit the jump for two more videos of the table, the first of which has a bunch of fake pucks on the table the whole time, and the second demonstrating the table's variable goal size capabilities.
Continue Reading " I Can't Even See The Puck: Trippy Air Hockey "
Sep 18 2009 Fun For All Ages: Dino Dig Challenge, A Battleship Ripoff (But I'm Not Complaining)
Dino Dig Challenge plays like Battleship, but instead of a bunch of stupid boats, you're hunting for raptor bones. I LOOOVE RAPTOR BONES!
- 2 player competition to see who can excavate their opponent's dinosuar bones first.
- Includes 2 player dig base unit, 8 excavation site tiles, 10 different dinosaur bones and flag markers
- Be the first to complete a velociraptor skeleton and win!
OMG, YES! And the great thing about it is, this is a game that you can play alone if you want. Actually, that's the only way I play. Oh -- oh -- I JUST SUNK MY OWN DINOBONE!
Thanks to Dinosaur Josh, who loves dinosaurs as much as I do, but in a different way. You're missing out, Josh. Like they say, "once you go Jurassic, you never go back to men". Okay, that's not true. VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.
Sep 17 2009 I'm On To You!: The President Is A Jedi
So apparently President Obama is a Jedi. Okay, maybe a padawan. Fine, just a guy waving a plastic lightsaber around. But that's not what's important. What's important is we arrange a lightsaber duel between him and Star Wars Boy. I'll get the president on the line, you get Obi Un-Coordinated.
Hit the jump for a picture of Obama running his wife through with a pirate sword and staring at some guy's ass, just for the hell of it.
Continue Reading " I'm On To You!: The President Is A Jedi "
Sep 17 2009 How To Light A Grill With Liquid Oxygen
First of all, I'm not convinced liquid oxygen is real because, if it is, why can't I breath underwater? I want a merman, damnit. But if it is real, this is a video of Theo Gray lighting a charcoal grill with the stuff. Apparently it's dangerous, but I find it hard to believe. I mean, it's just a liquid. Jesus, it's not like I just ate and wanna go swimming in the stuff.
Lighting a Grill with Liquid Oxygen Is the Opposite of Safe [gizmodo]
Thanks to Van, who may or may not house a real husky bastard down by the river.
Sep 16 2009 But I Was Gonna Eat That!: 'Danger: High Voltage' As Demonstrated By A Watermelon
You know how all those high-voltage capacitors have warning signs that tell you not to sit on them or play around them but you do anyways because you're an ultra-L337 badass from the planet Choke-slam? Well this is a video demonstration of what can happen if a drunk electrical worker accidentally left some of the wires exposed and you sat on them. Except, in this demo they use a watermelon instead of your buttocks. The same thing would happen to your ass though, trust me. You see these? *knock knock knock* Wooden cheeks. I'm just like George Washington! Except way handsomer and a better leader.
So, This Is What Those High Voltage Danger Signs Mean [gizmodo]
Thanks to Harrison, who actually taught 'ol George how to make love like an eagle falling out of the sky.
Sep 11 2009 But I Don't Wanna Hit Him!: WALL-E Piñata
This is a custom made WALL-E piñata from Etsy seller victorof1980s. This crazy mother is trying to sell the thing for $200. $200 for something your kid is gonna beat to shit with a stick and not even remember by next year! No thanks. When my children have birthdays they get the same kind of piñata I had growing up: a grocery bag with a face drawn on the side. I remember one time I hit it so hard I dented a can of succotash! Also, all the bananas got real mushy.
wall-e pinata filled with candy, not garbage [technabob]
Thanks to naas, who hate WALL-E but loves beating things with a dowel.
Sep 10 2009 New Bouncy Feature In Ninja Gaiden Σ II
Apparently by shaking your PS3 controller while playing the upcoming Ninja Gaiden Sigma II you can make your characters boobs bounce around all crazylike (which helps explains THIS advertisement). Also, I'm more than a little disappointed we didn't have this feature for the original NES. I'm looking at you, Princess Toadstool circa Super Mario 2. You too, Mario.
See Ninja Gaiden Sigma II Boob Bouncing In Action [kotaku]
Thanks to Pedro, who makes boobs bounce the old fashioned way: with a Ping Pong paddle.
Aug 28 2009 Paper Art: Toilet Paper Roll Face Sculptures
Junior Fritz Jacquet is an artist that loves working with paper and has created a series of small masks by bending and folding empty toilet paper rolls. Good looking, Junior (we named the dog Indiana). I really think this is testament to the creativity of the human mind. It's amazing, you know? Junior here sees an empty toilet paper roll and thinks art. Me? I think, "damnit -- what hand's it gonna be this time?"
Hit the jump for a whole gallery of faces.
Continue Reading " Paper Art: Toilet Paper Roll Face Sculptures "
Aug 21 2009 Segway's Little Sister: The eniCycle
The eniCycle was designed by Aleksander Polutnik and is the lovechild of a Segway and whatever the hell this thing is. And I, for one, would totally ride it. Without a helmet. I'm bad!
The EniCycle is powered by an electric 1000 watt hub motor that you lean forward to set into motion--just like a Segway. Measuring your vertical angle 100 times a second, the gyroscopes make adjustments to help keep you balanced.
Not only would I ride the hell out of this thing, I would do it juggling bears. And not just because I'm hardcore, but because I'm classically trained for the circus. Just sayin', I can eat fire (now booking birthday parties).
Q: What did the snail riding the turtle say?
A: WHEEEEEEEE!
Hit the jump for a video of the uni in action.
Aug 4 2009 Spaceball: Suck It, You'll Never Be Hallball!
Spaceball is hands down one of the most ridiculous looking games I've ever seen and costs $700. Plus, it sucks to always have to go retrieve the ball when you throw it out of the court. If you can call it a court. Which I just did, SO IT'S ALL GOOD BABY. Basically, you bounce around in there like an idiot and try to throw the ball through the hole in the middle and past your opponent. WHEE! Plus, it's endorsed by astronauts.
According to former astronaut Scott Carpenter, it's "the best conditioning exercise for space travel."
Yeah it is. Because if there's one thing I've learned about space travel it's how similar it is to jumping around on a trampoline and trying to peg your friend in the face with a rubber ball. No -- two men, a ball and a hole -- this is more like that game I play in the truck stop bathroom.
Spaceball: Like Basketball, but More Expensive and Ridiculous [gizmodo]
Jul 9 2009 PEW PEW REVIEW: 125mW Green Laser
The folks over at SKYlaser Laser Pointers sent me a 125mW powerful green laser to review. So that's what I did. And let me tell you: there was plenty of pews to be had. That picture I actually made writing with the laser on an 8-foot privacy fence, I just edited the pic of the unit in. Now hit the jump for the pew pew review.
Jul 3 2009 Happy 4th Of July Weekend! *BOOM BOOM*
Dearest Reader,
Those were fireworks at the end of the title in case you couldn't tell. *BOOM BOOM* Oh, there went some more! Anyway, this is an incredible *BOOM* cute stop motion video from PES, whose work is always amazing. Now, everyone get out there and have a safe and firework-y holiday. And if my next post doesn't make any sense -- I'm typing with stumps. WHEE!
Love,
Your Geekologie Writer
Thanks to Towhee Monster, who's a little firecracker herself.
Jul 1 2009 Every Kid's Dream: Shopping Buggy Racecart
Let's face it, we've all had the idea, but these folks actually followed through and did it. Not some halfassed job either, they actually made this thing legit (videos after jump). Oh man -- if only they had these on Supermarket Sweep...imagine the carnage!
Hit it for two videos showing off the impressiveness.
Continue Reading " Every Kid's Dream: Shopping Buggy Racecart "
Jul 1 2009 Video: Using 'The Force' To Levitate A Ball
This is a video of some guy from the New York Post getting to play around with the Star Wars Force Trainer that's set to hit the market in a few months. I posted it for two reasons: 1. the toy is cool and I want one badly and 2. I could have done a much better review. DAMNIT FOLKS, LET ME PLAY WITH THE NEW TOYS. I can review the hell out of things. I have opinions. People listen to me. Don't you? Don't you listen to -- ARE YOU WEARING HEADPHONES?! You are a dick. But seriously, buy this.
Jun 30 2009 Pew Pew, Kids, Pew Pew!: TIE Fighter Fort
Do you spoil your kids? You shouldn't. Which is exactly why you should buy this $75 TIE Fighter playset for yourself and never let them touch touch it. Rope it off in the corner of the living room and sit in it making PEW PEW PEWs while they stare longingly at all the fun you're having. Ask them who wants to play space battle and then tell them you've changed your mind and you'd trade either one of them for a new lawnmower in a heartbeat. Then, send them to bed with no dinner. It's what my parents did, and look how well I turned out. I AM A CATCH. And by catch I mean hellhound. Ladies? GRRRRRRR!
Tie Fighter Playhouse Recruiting For The Dark Side Early [io9]
Thanks to Julian, who can play space with the best of them.
Jun 26 2009 Swedish Women Win Right To Tan Topless
In what will probably be the awesomest news I'll hear all day, Swedish women in Malmö have officially won the right to go to public pools with their knockers hanging out. *sniff* I think we're really making progress here.
...some on the council had lobbied for wording which would have required women to keep their nipples covered, but Forsberg explained that attempting to enforce such a rule would have been too complicated.
"We don't define what bathing suits men should wear so it doesn't make much sense to do it for women. And besides, it's not unusual for men to have large breasts that resemble women's breasts," he said.
OH HO, you just had to sneak a manboob burn in there didn't you? I'M WORKING ON THEM, OKAY? And by working on I mean fondling. Oooh la la.
Yay Sweden! Swedish Women Won Rights to Bathe Topless [neatorama]
Thanks to Mags, who was in shock I hadn't already motorboated this story.
Jun 24 2009 I Invented That!: Fan Powered Rocket Board
I'm pretty sure this is every five-year old boy's first invention. Of course, few have the technical know-how to make it happen. And even fewer are allowed to play with power tools. But grownup Ray Bavetta kept the dream alive and slapped a 3.7HP model airplane engine on a skateboard and misnamed it Rocket Board. Do you know what a rocket is, Ray? There's usually fire coming out of the back. Not streamers.
Rocket Board makes skateboarding a bit more interesting [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who is fairly certain this is how he'll die.
