Sep 15 2009 In The Land Of The Blind, The Man With One Eye Is King: Ridiculous Cyclops Sunglasses
I don't wear sunglasses because I like squinting, but for those of you that do, and only have one giant eye, maybe these new Martin Margiela sunglasses are for you. Sure they look like a giant windshield and cost $570, but that's a small price to pay for looking like a giant Miami douche-hydrant, am I right? Of course I am. Unless we're talking about handed, in which case I'm left. Speaking of which -- remember that no child left behind program? It's a lie (my parents abandoned me at a water park).
Martin Margiela Sunglasses [likecool]
Thanks to naas, who doesn't wear sunglasses BECAUSE HE OPTS FOR DUAL EYE PATCHES. Damn yeah, matey!
Aug 26 2008 Move Over, Robot: Goblin Shark Is Scarier
Goblin sharks look scary as hell and are scary as hell. Sure they're only a couple feet long, but they're uglier than my sister and have tons of sharp little teeth. Watch the video around 0:20 to see how it's mouth comes out of its face Aliens style to munch on dude's arm. Also, a friend told me that's what a woman's vagina looks like.
Japanese Goblin Shark [collegehumor]
Thanks to Libby, who once punched a goblin shark in the mouth because it looked at her funny.
Jul 23 2008 All Money And No Class: Burberry Maserati, Plus SPECIAL BONUS Chrome Ferrari
Not that we really needed any more proof that money doesn't buy class or my affection, I thought I'd post this so everyone can blow off some steam by ranting in the comments section about what possessed some nutass to Burberry his Maserati Quattroporte. It's fugly and they didn't even do a good job. I mean the lines don't even match up. I'm driving down to the Maserati dealership and I'm gonna punch the first rich person I see milling around the lot.
UPDATE: Haha, I KO'd a salesman. F*** them too.
Hit the jump for a couple closeups and a few of a chrome Ferrari 599, which would be blinding to drive or be behind, but I am embarrassingly kind of liking.
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May 6 2008 "Verb For Shoe" Shoes Are Available, $700
The Verb for Shoe "smart shoe" has been in the works since 2004. It was developed by MIT spinoff company VectraSense and they're finally accepting preorders. What do you get for your $700?
An embedded computer that automatically adjusts the shoe to your feet, syncs with your PC, and communicates with the shoes of others to exchange contact information.
Wow, for all that functionality I was expecting to pay at least $1,000. Of course, if you don't have $700 you could just, oh I don't know, buy a pair of shoes that fits and write people's contact information on your hand. For that kind of Pillsbury dough I was expecting flubber soles, a couple burning lasers, and a money back guarantee that you can't lose a bar fight if you're wearing them. I guess what I'm getting at is this: I lost a bar fight last night. I was wearing sandals. And, contrary to popular belief, beating someone in the head with a flip-flop doesn't do shit.
Verb For Shoe "smart shoe" finally goes on sale for $700 [engadget]
Feb 14 2008 The DIY AeroCivic Will Definitely Get You Great Mileage, Definitely Not Laid
Mike Turner pimped out his 15 year old Civic with lots of what appears to be Bondo, molded cardboard and duct tape to create the AeroCivic. It has a drag coefficient of 0.17 (the new Honda Civic hybrid is around a 0.27) and gets 95 MPG when "driving at a constant speed from 30 to 65 MPH on a flat road in 80 degree temperatures with well broken-in tires." In any other circumstance it gets about 8 MPG. Just kidding. I admire your work Mike, and wish you and the AeroCivic the best in the future. Also, I hope you're already married. Because unless you're looking to bag Mother Nature herself, you're gonna have a hell of a hard time doing it in that thing.
Several more pictures of the AeroCivic after the jump.
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