Jun 16 2009 This Tastes Like Poison: Japan's Robot-Chefs

MORE: aaahh , bad ideas , cooking , damnit japan , doomsday , food , fubots , japanese , kitchen , no no no , no thanks , not good , poison , robobastards , robotics , robots , ropocalypse , run for your life , stop it already , sushi , we're all gonna die! , wtf is that! , wtf were you thinking?

Japanese companies unveiled several new models of robotic-chefs at the recent Tokyo International Food Machinery and Tech Expo., and I, for one, am never eating out again. Kidding, ladies. Here's a breakdown of the video:

0:00 - 0:18: Pancake cooking robot sucks at flipping.
0:19 - 0:25: Robot sympathizer sympathizes with robots. You will not be saved.
0:26 - 0:39: Creepy looking realistic hand robot serves sushi, your fingers.
0:40 - 0:46: Depressed, engineer is depressed.
0:47 - 0:54: Crooked hat robot pleasures itself furiously with cucumber.
0:55 - 1:07: Segway-ass looking robot roofies your drink on it's way from the bar.

There you have it, I'm officially only eating PB&J sandwiches with ingredients processed in non-robotic factories. And if you think I'm joking you've got another thing coming. Namely, *POW* -- my fist.

Youtube

Thanks to calluless, get100pens, This Is Me Posting, Kai, Marcy, Daniel, 24-bit whore, Julian, Jawn and Draw, who would rather starve to death than eat robot-food.

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May 1 2009 Society For Prevention Of Cruelty To Robot

MORE: dumb , fail , failure at life , fubots , idiots , it's okay to eat robot because they don't have any feelings , maroons , no no no , not good , organization , robots , website , wrong , wtf is wrong with you? , you fools!

no no no you idiots.jpg

I want these people (if they are people) found, and I want them TERMINATED!

The American Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty To Robots (ASPCR)

Thanks to Greg, who took some initiative and called the FBI to report a new terrorist threat.

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Apr 1 2009 Great: Controlling Robots With Your Mind

MORE: aaaahh , apocalpyse , bad , bad ideas , bad news , brain , brain poison , doomsday , fubots , future tech , honda , mind , mind-control , no no no , not good , robot death army , robots , run for your life! , this ain't april fools -- this is real life son! , threatening letters , we're all gonna die!

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The Honda Research Institute Japan, along with ATR and Shimadzu Corporation (all of whom can expect threatening letters from yours truly) has developed a system that makes it possible to control robots with your thoughts alone. Wow, this doesn't sound scary at all.

The technology uses electroencephalography (EEG) and near-infrared spectroscopy (NIRS) to allow a human to control a robot, in this case the Honda ASIMO, using mere thought. The technology offers up to 90 percent control accuracy without the use of physical implants, a huge milestone in human-to-robot interface that the research group hopes will yield new advances in robotics and artificial intelligence.

What could possibly go wrong? Besides everything. And by everything I mean the destruction of the entire human race. And also, this LEGO castle I'm building. But I put so much time into it!

Hit the jump for a video explaining the technology.

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