Oct 28 2009 Good Friends: I'm Afraid That's What You Get

Don't even act like you didn't deserve it.

Twilight Saga: And so it begins... [lamebook]

Thanks to pstone, who always remembers to take his shoes off before passing out.

Oct 19 2009 XBox Live Friend Accept Flowchart: Let Me Guess, You're Another 12 Year Old Racist

This is a flowchart for determining if you should accept a friend request from someone on XBox Live. And I've got to admit, it's pretty spot-on. Of course, I don't accept ANY friend requests because I'm a loner. I even eat alone and, more often than not, have sex. You never seen a bigger bunch of concerned Wendy's employees!

Xbox Live Friend Acceptance Flowchart [kotaku]

Thanks to Grantly, who only accepts requests from people he knows in real life because he doesn't want to risk befriending a robot. Smart, Grantly, smart.

Aug 27 2009 I'm Proud Of You: Geekologie Reader Makes House Of Cards On Amusement Park Ride

Geekologie Reader Fitz and his friends, inspired by the post we did a while back about playing chess on roller coasters, decided to put a different spin on the pastime and make a house of cards on a coaster. This is the resulting shot.

We went to the amusement park yesterday, but we wanted to make it a special day, and after seeing your post with the checkers trick in a roller coaster, we though we could do something even more awesome.

I really hope you'll enjoy it, we putted a lot of effort into it (building a card castle in a water coaster, even with tape is freaking hard!). Plus my friends would be really happy to be on the Internet :P

Good lookin', Fitz. Of course, it would be even better looking if that little Asian girl in the front was puking all over you. What can I say, I like action shots.

Picture (high res)

Thanks Fitz, now how about a game of Risk next time?

May 8 2009 Facebook Konami Code, Pirate Language

If you enter the Konami code (↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A ENTER -- don't do in a text box) after logging into Facebook you get a lens flare effect anytime you click, scroll or type anything. Good times. Unless you're epileptic, in which case, dangerous times. Also, if you scroll to the bottom of the page on the left where it has language selection, you can click on that and then choose 'English (Pirate)' to change Facebook to pirate talk. So yeah, pirate it up and then join the Geekologie Fan Page (if you haven't already) so we can all get together and hunt for treasure and shit. Also, I may send a couple of you L337 mateys on top secret missions (possibly with a liquor store involved). After all, you do want to appease the captain, don't you? NO? Then it's the plank for you, you barnacle loving scalawag! Oh, but be a doll and fetch me a grog first.

Thanks to Ian, Joemo, dboucher, matty, mark, Amanda and Liesel, who all sail under the colors of Geekologie.

Apr 23 2009 Scary: A Childhood Photo From The Future

This is a childhood photo FROM THE FUTURE. Don't ask me how I got it, but suffice it to say I got some wires crossed when I was building my time machine (read: I showed up in 2120 with a trash bag full of dinosaur-sized condoms). Anyway, I brought this back to show you how not cool the future is. You want your kids growing up with robot pals? No, no you don't. And if you do, well, *ffffubt*. Oh that? Nothing -- just a little contraceptive blowdart.

Hit the jump for a worthwhile picture of some African robots.

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Apr 20 2009 Matthew Perry Seeks Medical Attention After Injuring Hands Playing Video Games

Matthew Perry, with nothing to do since Friends went off the air like twenty years ago, has taken to playing video games. Like an addict. Seen here about to take his first hit with Snoop Dogg, Matthew has a serious gaming problem. So serious he had to seek medical attention after damaging his hands.

The actor admits he spends days on end glued to the screen playing war games on his XBox, ruining the muscles and tendons in his hand.

Perry says, "I play a lot of video games a lot of XBox 360. I played Fall Out 3 so often I had to go to a hand doctor. I used my hand too much and had to get injections in it."

Nice try, Mr. Perry, but I suspect the real culprit here is a little thing I like to call chronic masturbation. Been watching a few too many Friends reruns, have we?

Perry's videogame-mangled hand [yahoonews]

Thanks to Edd, who particularly likes the episodes where you can see Rachel's nipples through her shirt (read: all of them).

Mar 21 2009 Sad: Text Messages For The Friendless

Fiona Carswell is a friendless hag who lives in the woods and tries to entice children into her gingerbread house to eat them. Just kidding, I'm sure she's cool and has tons of friends. But that didn't stop her from designing 'Cell Stickies', which are electro-static stickers with fake text messages you stick on your iPhone when you're feeling down. Because let's face it, nothing boosts one's spirit like catching yourself sticking a fake text message sticker on your cell phone. Am I right? Oooh -- a text. "You are right. As usual." Haha, just as I thought! And here comes another! "You gave me herpes." Shit.

Cell Stickies For The Truly Delusional [ohgizmo]

Mar 20 2009 Now Now, Play Nice: Aliens Vs. Predator Ads

This is a set of print ads run by a New Zealand cable channel advertising its upcoming showing of Aliens vs. Predator. As you can see (if Geekologie hasn't burnt out your retinas yet) they feature an Alien vs. Predator playing together civilly. This one is chess, but hit the jump to see pool and swingball. And speaking of swingball -- go ahead, give them a kick. Go on -- I can take it. Wait wait wait, I'm not rea--OH OFFFFOW OWW OWW OWW OOOOOOOWW OWW OW OW OH STOP OH STOP UHHH UUHH UUHH I CAN'T BREATHE STOP UHHH UUHHHH. Oh yeah, that's the stuff.

Hit it for the others.

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Feb 25 2009 Excessive Gaming Can Cause Skin Sores

That's right folks, too much gaming can give you the stink-palm, according to a recent article in the British Journal of Dermatology. Of course, the disorder (Playstation palmar hidradenitis) may be based entirely on the single case of a 12-year old girl.

Doctors who examined her at the Geneva University Hospital concluded she had a condition known as 'idiopathic eccrine hidradenitis', a skin disorder that generally causes red, sore lumps on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.

The doctors suspect that the problem was caused by tight and continuous grasping of the console's hand-grips, and repeated pushing of the buttons, alongside sweating caused by the tension of the game.

The unsightly lumps went away after 10 days of gaming abstinence. Now listen folks: if reddened palms are the only negative effect of your excessive gaming, be thankful. After all, you've still got your social life, right? Right?

Game consoles 'cause skin sores' [bbcnews]

Thanks to Shelley, Becky, JMR and Tank, who have no fear of developing Playstation palmar hidradenitis because they only play XBox.

Jan 13 2009 President-Elect Barack Obama Plays Wii

That's right folks, the soon-to-be president is rocking a Wii. And thank goodness too, because in an earlier interview Barack claimed the last video game he'd played was Pong. So yeah, whew.

Barack Obama reportedly said he's better at the Wii version of bowling than he was at the real thing while on the campaign trail in Pennsylvania last year.

This knowledge is courtesy of a passing reference Thursday by a New York Times blogger, who buried it in his last paragraph, unaware that the Wii news, rather than Obama's (accurate) prediction that Florida would win college football's championship game, would light up the Internets the next day.

So, Barack, maybe you could add me to your friends list. Then our Wii Miis could parade together. That would be fun, wouldn't it? Also, quick question: are you man enough to play wrist-strapless? Because I am. Isn't that right, Superficial Writer? Ha, your TV was a piece of shit anyways.

Barack Obama's family gets a Wii video game system; so what does his Mii look like? [chicagotribune]

Thanks to Lisa, who is chock-full of Wii win.

Jan 9 2009 The Burger King Whopper Sacrifice: Delete 10 Of Your Facebook Friends For A Free Whopper

Burger King has developed a Facebook application called Whopper Sacrifice that rewards users for deleting friends. You just delete 10 friends from Facebook, and TA-DA -- a coupon for a free Whopper. Unfortunately, the deal only works once per Facebook account and makes you look like a heartless dickbag with a turd for a heart that sucks at life because you'd trade your friendship for a piece of meat in your mouth. Can you tell I've already lost most of my friends? I'm bitter.

Whopper Sacrifice

Thanks Kenny, de-friend me and I'll kill you.

Jan 2 2009 I Believe I Can Fly: Plane Mail Postcards

The Postcard Aeroplane is a $7 balsa wood postcard from suckUK that you can send to a friend or former lover. Then, when they receive it, they can punch out the plane parts and fly your message to the moooooooon. One time my grandpa mailed a coconut. To Saturn! Can you tell I've been huffing? I have. I made resolutions! I broke them!

Balsa wood postcard transforms into flying model glider [dvice]

Dec 31 2008 Eff 2008, Bring On 2009: Happy New Year!

Well folks, we survived another year. Amazing, I know. It's been one hell of a time, and I have every reason to believe 2009 is going to rock the track pants and Members Only jacket off 2008.

Happy New Year! See you in 2020! And by 2020 I mean after my Lasik surgery. HIYO!

Dec 25 2008 Merry Christmas, You Filthy Rebel Scum

Well folks, we've all somehow managed to survive another year and make it to Jesus' B-day Extravaganza, 2008. I imagine you're all enjoying time with friends and family, opening wrapped boxes containing the things you've always wanted. And, if you're not, hopefully you at least know a bar that's open.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, from the Geekologie Writer and his (dog).

Flickr Picture

Thanks to Rich, who saved Christmas with a picture of a stormtrooper wearing a Santa hat.

Sep 26 2008 Awesomest Jesus-Themed Song EVER

Not just a friend, but a great drinking buddy. Isn't that right, Big J? Dude, you're puking on my shoes.

Youtube

Thanks to Walrus, who's totally BFF's with the man upstairs. You know, the creepy one that never leaves his apartment.

Aug 7 2008 Dark Knight PSAs With Batman And The Joker

This is a public service announcement featuring Batman and The Joker reminding you about the importance of wearing sunscreen. It's one of several announcements made by the Dark Knight and his arch-nemesis for the good of the public. I posted two more after the jump, one on bike safety and one about taking time out of your day to have fun. Unfortunately, there isn't one about the importance of staying in school. So kids: stay in school. You don't have to go to college, but I do recommend it if you want to experiment with drugs and alcohol.

Hit the jump for two more and a link to several others.

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Jul 30 2008 Drinking Buddy: Malaysian Pen-Tailed Shrew

Well folks, I've found myself a new drinking buddy. The Malaysian pen-tailed shrew subsists entirely on fermented nectar from the pertam palm plant, which can be as high as 3.8 percent alcohol.

A new study found that the tiny animal subsists on a diet roughly equivalent to 100 percent beer... Amazingly, though the tree shrews drink like fish, they don't seem to get drunk. The researchers, led by Frank Wiens of Germany's University of Bayreuth, videotaped regular nocturnal feeding sessions and followed the movements of radio-tagged tree shrews. Though they measured blood-alcohol concentrations in the animals higher than those in humans with similarly high alcohol intake, the tree shrews showed no signs of intoxication.

Well folks, no sense hiding it now -- I had sex with a shrew. The pen-tailed variety, dear reader, is my progeny.

Tiny tree shrew can drink you under the table [msnbc]

Thanks to Chad, the only man who's ever come close to beating my pen-tailed progeny in a drinking contest.

Jun 24 2008 I'm Buying: Man Auctions Off Entire Life (Including Pride And Dignity) On eBay

Ian Usher is a 44-year old Australian that's selling his entire life on eBay. No, you don't get to kill him, but you do get his house, car, motorcycle, hot tub, friends, job, grill, pictures, computer, underwear, pride, and self respect. The auction ends on Sunday and is already up to about $300,000. Ian is holding the auction after his 12-year relationship with some chick name Laura dissolved and left him broken-hearted. He's looking for a clean start and will begin his new life with nothing but the clothes on his back and the proceeds from the auction (he's hoping for around $500,000). When asked why the relation went sour, Ian replied, "She started kangarooing some other dude. She wanted to settle down and thought I was too impulsive -- the kind of guy that would sell his entire life on eBay." Boy, you sure showed her!

Hit the jump for a bunch of pictures of stuff included in the auction, along with a link to the auction, his blog explaining the situation, and a yahoo news article.

Continue Reading " I'm Buying: Man Auctions Off Entire Life (Including Pride And Dignity) On eBay "

Apr 11 2008 Kit-In Box Prevents Unwanted Keyboard Cats

Kit-In Box is not exactly what it sounds like. I thought it was going to be a box you order that comes with a kitten (like a Cabbage Patch doll, but furry and alive). It's not. It's a little wooden bed that clamps to the side of your desk so your feline friends don't sleep on your keyboard (as they are so fond of) when you're trying to work. They cost $50 and come in cherry, birch, and mahogany finishes. I need several, because my girlfriend has four cats. Well, three cats. One beaver.

A picture of what the unit looks like with two little dogs in it, after the jump.

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Nov 8 2007 Web 2.0 Social Network T-Shirt: Very Dorky

The Web 2.0 shirt has a list of all the popular social networking sites. You use a permanent marker to check off all the sites you belong to. Then you're supposed to wear it out and let everyone know just how geeky you really are. So what if your friend list is empty on all the sites, there's no space to write that in anyway. I made a similar shirt for myself that has the one social group I belong to: my biker gang. While we don't really make friends or network, we do stomp heads and ride our hogs drunk. Very similar concepts though.

The whole list after the jump.

Continue Reading " Web 2.0 Social Network T-Shirt: Very Dorky "