Nov 1 2009 Stay Fresh: Mad Muffin Beyond Bagel Dome
The Bagel Dome (Dome Dome Dome) is a $40 battery powered vacuum dome made to keep bagels and other oxygen-hating perishables fresh (JUST USE A DYSON, GOD). I contacted the manufacturer and the lady on the phone said it also works for donuts but I have my doubts. Which is exactly why I just invented the Donut Dome, which isn't just a Bagel Dome with 'Doughnut Dome' scratched into the plastic EXCEPT IT IS BECAUSE I'M A GENIUS INVENTOR. I also discover elements and name them after my pets! Rutherfordium? That was me. Great dog.
Jun 15 2009 ToneMatrix: Best Waste Of An Afternoon Yet
I've been getting this tip for a while but I always forget to post it because usually when I cook something in the microwave I rest my head against it and it makes me forget things and, more often than not, pee and overcook my burrito. So yeah, ToneMatrix is a simple audio program based on a 16 step sequencer. You just start clicking boxes and they play the appropriate tones in rhythm. That's an example of a beat I made there, but it's not my best. I'd show you a few of my best BUT THEY ARE TOO FRESH FOR YOU! Beats, like women, are a dish best served mature. You see where I'm going with this? I'm talking about cougars. And speaking of which -- did I ever tell you about the first time I did one? I had a friend lower me into their pen at the zoo. RAWR!
ToneMatrix [andre-michelle]
Thanks to Emmortality, Aramar the Black, Clint, chloe and Towhee Monster, whose beats are so fresh they haven't even been born yet. OR CONCEIVED. They're still living in some guy's nuts!
Jun 5 2009 Yay For Holes!: National Doughnut Day
Today is national doughnut day, so get out there and munch on some hole. Almost all doughnut retailers are offering free nuts or other specials to commemorate the occasion.
National Doughnut Day started in 1938 as a fund raiser for the Chicago Salvation Army. Their goal was to help the needy during the Great Depression, and to honor the Salvation Army "Lassies" of World War I, who served doughnuts to soldiers behind the front lines in France.
I went to Dunkin' Donuts earlier this afternoon and they were offering a free donut with the purchase of a drink. So I bough a coffee and started pouring the Irish whiskey. BOOM, an thirty minutes later I'm getting thrown out for making love to this sexy maple-glazed number. What? I'M A VERY SENSUAL PERSON.
Thanks to T.J. and Jelly Time, who prefer bagels because they don't like sweets.
Jun 3 2009 Retro Styling: Cassette Tape Wallets
These cassette tape wallets from designbloom are wallets made out of old cassette tapes. Pretty clever, but they cost $43. So if you've ever wanted to try making something yourself, now's your chance. Just make me one. With a Def Leppard tape. Bitchin'? BITCHIN'!
cassette wallet [designboom]
Thanks to phil, who keeps his money in his socks BECAUSE HE'S OLDSCHOOL.
May 24 2009 NES Rap: 99 Lives And A Power Glove
This is a rap about playing oldschool NES games called The Konami Code (99 Lives And A Power Glove). It was made by the same folks that brought us Robot Party song and is pretty fresh. Not as fresh as my breakfast mind you, but that's because I just bought chickens. *squeezing chicken* EGGS, DAMN YOU, EGGGGGGGS! *chicken explodes* Okay, that might have been a rooster.
Thanks to Erin, who has allegedly beat Contra with a single life and is a monster liar.
May 12 2009 So, Yeah: The DJ Hero Turntable Peripheral
So this is the first look at the DJ Hero turntable peripheral. As you can see, they make it look like a turntable, but with buttons (and sadly no knobs). Three of them. Let's see, there's a, um, purple one, a yellow one and a....and a....*sniffle* I never learned my colors! But I did learn my tastes. OM NOM NOM. Ass. This sandwich tastes like ass.
Hit the jump for one more shot.
Continue Reading " So, Yeah: The DJ Hero Turntable Peripheral "
Mar 16 2009 Steampunk Frankenstein iPod Victrola Thing
I have no idea what you're looking at either. But whatever it is, it's looking back. Apparently it's some sort of custom iPod Nano (1st gen) case and docking station. I SAID STOP STARING AT ME. That's it, where's my laser pointer?
The design is inspired by Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. The "eye-Pod" can be worn on the wrist via the leather cuff, or placed on it's custom Victrola base. Music can be heard either through the Victrola horn or though a portable personal hearing apparatus (in progress).
All functionality of the iPod remain intact an a hidden USB cord retracts from the base to either a wall charger or your computer. There are hidden pressure plates that when touched send a strobing "static charge" into the quartz crystals on either side of the magnified viewing portal.
Cool. Lose the eyeball and I would proudly display it my living room. Just kidding, I wouldn't touch that thing with your penis. It's just not my style. But you know what IS my style? This Members Only jacket. You smell that? It's called freshness, son. Whoa -- except for that, that was partially digested Kid Cuisine. Sorry.
Hit the jump for a couple more of that oldschool joint.
Continue Reading " Steampunk Frankenstein iPod Victrola Thing "
