Sep 23 2009 I Want To Ride One Into Battle: Coyotes And Wolves Are Breeding, Creating 'Coywolfs'
Seen here sulking because his likeness didn't make the Three Coywolf t-shirt, is a coyote/wolf hybrid. Personally, I would have named them wolfoties, but that's because I'm awesome. Oh, wait, per Wikipedia: "Where the cross-breeding of animals is concerned, the father's species gives the first part of the offspring's name." I don't know if that has any bearing on this or not, but I'm trying to be scientific (look at my lab coat!).
New DNA evidence reveals that coyotes have bred with wolves in the the northeastern United States, turning mice-eating coyotes into much larger animals with a hunger for big prey, such as deer.
The resulting "coywolves" may, however, benefit ecosystems, since they appear to be filling niches once occupied by wolves that were eradicated by humans.Given where these animals came from and the degree of documented genetic diversity, the researchers can tell that a few coyote females mated with male wolves north of the Great Lakes.
BOOYA -- WHO WAS RIGHT!? I just thought they should be wolfoties because it sounds sweeter, but now there's actual reason! God, am I good or what? Just saying, I also name babies. And that tune.
Coyote + wolf = new breed of predator [msnbc]
Thanks to fdsy, who breeds lion/panther hybrids and makes really cool armor for them.
Sep 22 2009 WoW Freakout Kid Versus Grandmother
This is a video of the infamous WoW freakout kid arguing with his grandmother, who's been sent over to watch him and his brother for the weekend. Now I really wanted to believe that these videos are real, but this one's the nail in the coffin for being fake. And not just because octogenarians are notoriously bad actresses (and will shit themselves on set), but she actually references him trying to jam the tv remote up his ass. Now I know how you're feeling, and yes, it's like Santa isn't real all over again.
Tough Granny Teaches Grandson a Lesson [break]
Thanks to Adam, who plays BINGO with his grandma on Tuesday nights and she always has him sneak a bottle of booze in. Fun lady!
Sep 15 2009 Snake With Foot Found, Killed In China
I am seriously reconsidering my decision to procreate in China. What with all the winged cats and footed snakes, I don't want my children to grow up with three legs like their father, you know? My beneficial defects aside, I must admit: as an amateur herpetologist, I'm a little skeptical about a footed snake. It seems almost like it swallowed a lizard and then that bastard was all like, "oh hell naw!" and kicked through the snake's bitchass stomach.
Dean Qiongxiu, 66, said she discovered the reptile clinging to the wall of her bedroom with its talons in the middle of the night.
"I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw," said Mrs Duan of Suining, southwest China.Mrs Duan said she was so scared she grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death before preserving its body in a bottle of alcohol.
I call shenanigans. Everybody knows snakes lost their right to feet after that one in Eden kept trying to touch Eve's boobs. Yes, I've read the Bible. He ended up stealing her nipples. And that, my flock, is where dried apricots come from. Amen.
Snake with foot found in China [telegraph]
Thanks to carmen, Matty and Chuck Nunchuck, who all have snaked feet. And this little piggy went to GAAAAAAAHH!!
Sep 3 2009 Scientists: "All Humans Are Mutants"
Scientists are claiming that each human has between 100 and 200 genetic mutations in their DNA. Me? I have two fingers....I have four fingers.
Joseph Nadeau, from the Case Western Reserve University in the US, who was not involved in this study said: "New mutations are the source of inherited variation, some of which can lead to disease and dysfunction, and some of which determine the nature and pace of evolutionary change.
"These are exciting times," he added."We are finally obtaining good reliable estimates of genetic features that are urgently needed to understand who we are genetically."
Listen: you can go right on being a freak all you want, but I ain't no damn mutant. I have never even met Professor X! Who, that old guy? The bald one in the wheelchair? Nobody.
We're all mutants, say scientists [bbcnews]
Thanks to Totex and Slava, who only got the incredibly good looking mutations. Lucky.
Apr 14 2009 Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung
Apparently some guy was huffing pinecones when he accidentally snorted a bud into his lungs, where it grew into a little tree. Please note: man was not actually snorting pinecones, I just made that up for the sake of providing you with the highest quality investigative journalism. Also, I don't know know if you could tell or not, but I made that graphic using Photoshop. Elite skills: I'm full of them. But hopefully, not evergreens.
Artyom Sidorkin, came to a hospital in the city of Izhevsk in Central Russia last week, complaining that he was experiencing chest pain and coughing up blood.
After submitting to an X-ray the doctors saw a lump in the patient's lung. After a biopsying the lump the doctors pulled out a 5 centimeter fir tree branch out of his lung, complete with needles.
Sick! At least he didn't swallow it though. Because one time I swallowed a pumpkin seed and then several months later pissed a jack-o-lantern, complete with cut-out face and candle. Boy did I feel 8 pounds lighter!
Hit the jump for a graphic shot of the tree and partial lung after removal. NOT recommended for lunch viewing.
Continue Reading " Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung "
Apr 6 2009 For Sale: The T-Virus Vial From Resident Evil
Want to own the T-virus?
Direct from the set of Resident Evil:Extinction comes the very very key virus tube! This is one of the most sought after movie collectibles from this franchise and is yours to bring home today. This is a glass vial with non-removable metal end caps with empty spiraling inner glass tubes. (One of the Tubes is loose) This measures approximately 4.75" x 1.5" and is screen used.
What do you mean, "One of the Tubes is loose"? I ain't paying no damn $4K for a nonfunctional virus container, I'll tell you that right now. You try to fill that up and next thing you know you're spilling T-virus juice down the front of your pants. Which....
UPDATE: It grew arms! Now, who needs a Monday hug?
Thanks to OctopusPie, who's delicious with a little CuttlefishIcecream.
Mar 3 2009 Cool!: Albino Dolphin Spotted In The Wild
A pink bottlenose dolphin was spotted swimming in Lake Calcasieu in Louisiana. It is believed to be the only of its kind.
'The mammal is entirely pink from tip to tail and has reddish eyes indicating it's albinism. The skin appears smooth, glossy pink and without flaws. I have spotted it about 40 to 50 times in the time since the original sighting as it has apparently taken up residence with its family in the Calcasieu Ship Channel.
'As time has passed he has grown and sometimes ventures away from its mother to feed and play but always remains in the vicinity of the pod.'Surprisingly, it does not appear to be drastically affected by the environment or sunlight as might be expected considering its condition, although it tends to remain below the surface a little more than the others in the pod.'
ZOMG, how cute! And by cute I mean pink. I LOVE PINK DOLPHINS! Look, I just drew one and slid it into the cover of my Trapper Keeper. What can I say, I'm sensitive. And also, hungry. Did somebody say sushi? My stomach did! And also, "the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected". Shit, I ate my phone!
Hit the jump for two more of the magical beast.
Continue Reading " Cool!: Albino Dolphin Spotted In The Wild "
Feb 19 2009 Ooh, Monster-y: 'Frankenstein Steampunk' PC
This is a steampunk computer affectionately known by its creater Dana Mattocks as 'Frankenstein Steampunk'. Personally, I would have named it Frankensteam or Steamenstein, but that's just me, and I'm awesome as hell. Except way cooler. HIYO!
The first thing you notice about this mod is its size--it's 8 feet tall, and weighs over 400 pounds. The project apparently took a year to complete, and it shows. Not opportunity for modification is pass up, with everything from the power button (a discreet brass valve) to the air intake (an old church floor vent) gets a neo-Victorian overhaul.
Good looking, Dana. Say, while you're on the classic literature kick, how about a Dracula model? It could look like a casket or something. Can you tell the creative juices are flowing this morning? They are, my shirt is soaked. Oh, false alarm -- I'm just dribbling milk. This cereal is being tricky.
Hit the jump for some worthwhile closeups of the craftsmanship.
Continue Reading " Ooh, Monster-y: 'Frankenstein Steampunk' PC "
Feb 5 2009 Want A Mini-Robot Version Of Yourself?
If you answered yes, I want you to leave your name and address in the comments section, as I'd like to send you some anthrax literature. You will not be saved. But, for the sake of my Pulitzer, I'll report on these devilish little bastards anyway. Available from Little Island for a little over $2,000, the little creeps serve as a VoIP phone so you can talk "face to face" to you family or pets while you're away. But wait, there's a little more!
Unfortunately, the "robot" doesn't appear to actually have many true robot abilities, although it does have a built-in camera to let you check out its surroundings via a connected computer, and it's apparently able to do a few basic tasks like read your RSS feeds or check the weather. The bot is also essentially just a plush PC itself (complete with a 500MHz Geode processor), so there's certainly plenty of opportunity to expand its capabilities for those so inclined.
Oh my God, you're actually considering one aren't you? You are sicker than I expected. And let me tell you, I expected at least a 9 of out 10. And to think, your parents said you'd never be a 10 at anything. You showed them!
Little Island promises to craft you in creepy robot form [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who had a robot version of himself until it drank his last beer and had to be scrapped.
Aug 13 2008 Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not)
A Texas cop was on a routine fence inspection drive (WTF?) when he found a strange creature running in the road. He claimed it was hairless, had long back legs, short front legs, and a massive snout. So he started filming it with the car's camera. Hit the jump to see the video and hear an interview with the cop. So, what do you think, is it a chupacabra? No, it's not. How do I know? Simple. 1. The chupacabra is a creature of the night, they don't wake up from their daytime siesta until after nightfall. 2. It's nothing like what I imagined it should look like. Chupacabras should be half human, half lizard -- that would be freaking sweet. This thing is the bastard child of a coyote that stuck it to your neighbor's dog. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly 3. Is it sucking a goat's teet? I see no goat, I see no teet, I can't see my dick past my beer bellly anymore, and I see no chupacabra. *slams case closed for emphasis* Suck it, Matlock!
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not) "
Jul 30 2008 Monster Washes Ashore In Montauk
Allegedly this is a picture of some unknown monster that washed ashore in Montauk, on the eastern tip of Long Island. Obviously it's fake, because 1. like a girlfriend that doesn't make me want to blow my eardrums out, monsters don't exist, and 2. whoever made it modeled the damn thing after Tokka from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (minus the shell). Anybody know what movie this is a viral for? After a little interweb spelunking my guess is a film adaptation of The Montauk Project. Apparently it centers around governmental time-travel experiments, but does feature some sort of alien monster coming to Earth. So, yeah, that's my guess -- which, I might add, is 120% correct. Because if it's not, I'll just edit the post and change it to be right. In case you haven't noticed folks, all your interweb are belong to me.
I'll update the story and let you know what's up when the truth is discovered.
Click through to see the uncensored version. Warning: It's fugly.
Jul 25 2008 This Is What Happens...
When your neighbors are a nuclear power plant.
The Chinese pig, dubbed 'Monkey Face', is apparently healthy despite being fugly as hell and having extra long back legs that cause it to hop around instead of walk. I gotta admit though, it's cuter than my sister's new baby.
Hit the jump to see the uncensored picture and be scarred and saddened.
Jun 4 2008 UPDATE: This Is What Happens...
When you send an anonymous email to The Superficial Writer with a subject line promising nude photos of Hayden Panettiere when it's actually packed with snapshots of your nuts.
UPDATE: Another video of the second half of the action from a worker's cellphone camera added after the jump (thanks Sunyeti and Rachel).
May 29 2008 Man Admits To Having Sexual Relations With Over 1,000 Vehicles. This Just In: I Vow To Never Rent A Car Again
Edward Smith has sex with cars and doesn't care if you think he's a demented perv (which he totally is).
The 57-year-old Washington state native first had sex with a car at age 15, and says he has never been sexually attracted to people, female or male. And he feels no need to change. His current flame is a Volkswagen Beetle that's he's named Vanilla, and considering a typical woman's reaction to Smith's spreading himself around, she's very low maintenance (not counting trips to the mechanic or pricey imported auto parts).
Smith says his fetish took root when he was a teenager. "When I was 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it." He continued, "There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until nighttime, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them."
Wow, it doesn't get much worse than that.
Despite his passion for his four-wheeled friends, Smith has occasionally strayed. His most intense sexual experience ever, he says, was with a helicopter. It totally chopped his nob off.
Holy shit, it did get much worse!
Read the whole article for more ridiculousness.
Man who's had sex with 1000 cars gives new meaning to auto-erotic [nydailynews]
Thanks Jaden, I'll never look at my Neon the same again
Apr 16 2008 Tree Man Of Java Looks Like A Tree, Ent
This isn't geeky, but it is awesome, if only in a freakish, sad kind of way. Dede Koswara, 37, is known as the 'Tree Man of Java' because he looks like a tree (those are his actual feet at the bottom of the picture). He has an extremely rare immune deficiency that prevents his body from fighting HPV, resulting in massive growths of bark-like warts. Sick, I know. Over 4lbs of the stuff has already been removed, and now he hopes to get married soon. Not to a bush or shrub either, but a woman. His first wife left him after he got so covered that he couldn't work any more. We all wish you a speedy recovery and healthy living from here on out, Dede. You deserve a good woman after everything you've been through. If I knew of any I'd send them your way, but I don't. All the chicks I know are strumpets, strippers, or psychopaths.
Be thankful everyone.
Several more uncensored pictures and a VIDEO after the jump, but be warned: they're pretty unnerving.
Continue Reading " Tree Man Of Java Looks Like A Tree, Ent "
Jan 10 2008 John Deere Walking Tractor Is Wickity Wack
This video came out awhile ago, but I'd never seen it before, so maybe you haven't either. It's a tractor made by the now-defuct John Deere subsidiary Plustech in Finland. I find it shocking that the company went under after making such badass alien walking machines. Who needs farm machinery anyways when you can have a freakish walking tractor thing? Farmers huh? Yeah, I guess you could be right. I also guess you're at a computer. Now who's right? This guy. And don't give me any of that "I'm on a mobile device" crap either, because you're lying.
Two more videos of the awesomeness after the jump.
Continue Reading " John Deere Walking Tractor Is Wickity Wack "
