Nov 18 2009 Today Only: Zombie Vampire Robots Shirts
If you're not familiar with shirt.woot, congratulations, and welcome to the internet. There's lots of stuff in this series of tubes, including, and virtually limited to: misinformation and porn. Also, Geekologie and stuff for sale. And speaking of stuff for sale, $10 will get you this Zombie Vampire Robots from Space shirt (shipped!) TODAY ONLY. I could take this time to explain how shirt.woot and woot.com work and even brag about the number of bags of crap I've gotten (ZERO BABY, YEAH!) but I'm not going to. If you want the shirt, go buy it, if not, don't come crying to me tomorrow when you decide you want it after all and it's not for sale anymore. Because you know what you'll get? A cold shoulder penis Popsicle shoulder.
UPDATE: Sold out, sorry chumps. May appear again in the reckoning.
Shirt.woot (will be a different shirt tomorrow)
Thanks to Melissa, Julian, Aaron and Kiraly, who have gotten little to no work done during the current woot-off. Nice, guys, glad you don't work for me.
Nov 12 2009 Forget Gnomes, How About A Garden Jawa?
Tired of those creepy little gnomes hanging out in your garden? Well how about a creepy little Jawa?! Available for pre-order from the StarWarsShop, the $35 lawn ornament is certain to draw attention to your flower beds and eventually be stolen/broken by punk-ass teenagers.
* Crafted in solid resin, this fully painted Jawa is ready - rain or shine
* Exclusively available at StarWarsShop
* Measures close to a foot in height
* Sculpted in a chunky, garden gnome-like styleShips Worldwide, except Mexico
Sorry Mexico, no Garden Jawas for you. Wait, why? Here, I'll give you a hint: it starts with GEORGE and ends with LUCAS IS A PUDGY BIGOT. You heard it here first! Unless his lawyers contact me, in which case this was all a direct quote from some other blog.
Hit the jump for two shots of Jawas hanging out in unnatural habitats.
Continue Reading " Forget Gnomes, How About A Garden Jawa? "
Nov 10 2009 Cute: 'LEGO My Apple' MacBook Stickers
Want to make it look like a LEGO minifig is entranced by the glowing apple on your MacBook? Well you're in luck, thanks to this $14 decal. JUST MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GET ANY AIR BUBBLES UNDERNEATH IT. That's like a death sentence for a sticker. And a death sentence for a blogger? Pants. Also, standing for long periods. It makes me so dizzy!
Hit the jump for several other MacBook decals, including Snow White, Pac-Man and Mario.
Oct 30 2009 Pass: Microwaved Wii For Sale On eBay
Some guy is a selling a Wii he microwaved on eBay as a piece of art. It is one of the worst pieces of art I have ever seen. Did you hear that? That was Matisse falling out of his wheelchair in heaven.
For $5,998 on eBay, you could purchase a Microwaved Wii, which was "created through the unique art of microwaving by one of the most prominent entertainers and artists on the web."
"Kenny Irwin originals are projected to only increase in value as a collectors items and museums and media take notice of the world renowned art by Kenny Irwin that is unlike anything the world has seen before."
Wow, self promote much? Don't get me wrong, I do a lot of shameless self promotion myself, but that's only cause IF I DIDN'T I DIDN'T I'D THROW MYSELF IN A VOLCANO. *sniiiiiif* God I need a hug. And more airplane glue.
7:00 video of the whole process after the jump. I made it to 2:13.
Oct 29 2009 Wal-Mart: For All Your Funeral Needs
I don't know how long they've been doing this, but Wal-Mart now sells both coffins and urns for all your funeral needs. Currently the website stocks 14 different coffins and 104 different urns. Coffins will set you back between $895 to $2899 and urns from $32 to $243. Now I have no idea how much these things normally cost, but I've got to imagine these are the the most moderately priced receptacles. That said, I'm still stuffing all my relatives in Folgers cans.
Thanks to Chuey The Midget, Blastphemer, Kelly, Josh, Lewis, floor Cheetos and Trick or Trey, who all want to buried at sea in nuclear submarines. Sounds expensive.
Oct 27 2009 World's Largest LEGO Mario Up On eBay
You probably already know this because you searched "giant LEGO Mario" on eBay this morning, but for those of you that didn't, the world's largest LEGO Mario statue is for sale on eBay.
Biggest Lego-Mario in the World - (Size over 5 ft 9 / 70.8 in)Game Mania Started the build of this statue with aid of a professional Lego builder 2 weeks before officially revealing it at the LEGO WORLD fair 22nd October 2009. This statue measures 70.87 inch (5.9 ft / 180 cm), contains more than 40.000 Lego bricks and weights over 110 lb (50 kg).
Profit will be donated to charity: The Ronald McDonald House Charity in The Netherlands.
Mario has been completely glued together so he doesn't arrive like that pre-built LEGO castle I ordered and is currently at €3,250 (~$4,800). Anybody own an arcade? Because I think he'd look great standing outside an arcade (not unlike a cigar store Indian). Haha, like arcades even exist anymore! Wait -- what do you mean your mall has one? ZOMG CAN YOU GET YOUR MOM TO DRIVE US?!
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the auction.
Oct 13 2009 Because Crocs Suck: Sweet Dino Shoes
Dinosaur shoes: more erotic than having your junk stomped in stilettos. And now, thanks to Weboo, you can own a pair -- provided you can stuff your man-feet into toddler sized footwear (is it too late to bind my feet?!). Plus, no laces! It was funny, just this morning an elderly woman on the bus asked me if I had a dinosaur shoe in my pocket or if I was just happy to see her. I told her both and winked. She got off at the next stop.
Product Site
via
Kid's Dinosaur Shoes Threaten Bugs With Teeth & Arms [fashionablygeek]
Thanks to Dick, who doesn't wear shoes because he has ninja feet and can walk on hot coals and razor blades.
Oct 12 2009 BEEP BOOP Arrrr!!: Transformer Pirate Shirts
These Piratron shirts come in Autopirate and Deceptipirate models and are perfect for showing your support for both high seas plundering AND vehicles that turn into talking robots at the same time. Each shirt will set you back a cool $20, and I recommend getting one of each just in case, well, I don't know why. Just do it. No I don't profit from these. But seriously, you can't have enough. Buy like thirty. Million. DO IT NOW!
Thanks to tim, who agrees that in the battle of pirates vs. robots, the ninjas will prevail.
Oct 12 2009 Legit Looking Master Sword For Sale On eBay
I know we've seen Master Sword replicas in the past, but check out the craftsmanship of this blade. Have you seen anything like it outside an elementary school arts & crafts class? I think not!
Hand-painted solid wood replica of the Master Sword from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Top quality craftsmanship, can be used as a wooden practice sword for fencing and martial arts. Blade is 17" long. Has a triforce carved into the blade.
Amazingly, current bidding is only up to $0.05 with five days remaining. But now that I've let the cat out of the bag, I don't expect to see it go for any less than $2.00. To yours truly. I only told you because I like a little competition! Try and beat me, I dare you! (yes I'm the seller)
Thanks to Ricardo, who mastered the sword in grade school and now swings a cannon.
Oct 8 2009 Glass And Brass: This Steampunk-y Table
This is a steampunk inspired side-table created by Tom Spina Designs (the same man responsible for the Han Solo frozen in carbonite desk). Prices start around $1000 and vary depending on size and design. I want one. Granted it may just be a bunch of painted PVC pipes and a couple gauges and glass baubles, but I could never make one. And that has nothing to do with the fact that I've been drinking all morning. Haha, now I see two tables. No -- three! Aaaaaand I'm puking in my mouth. I feel noodles. WHEN DID I EAT NOODLES?!?!
Product Site (with a couple other sweet products as well -- I'm looking at you, t-rex desk and skull throne)
Thanks to Tom, the man behind the brass curtain. Now send me one.
Oct 7 2009 It's About Time: A Fake iPhone Pocket Scale
Let's face it, we don't all sell drugs *whistling*, but we do all need pocket scales. Maybe you just want to know how much a letter weighs before sending it. Or like to precisely measure ingredients while cooking. Or maybe you sell coke and weed. Enter the fake iPhone pocket scale. With a cover that looks unconvincingly like a real iPhone, this has got to be the cheese-whizziest scale disguise I've ever seen (and I once owned a scale designed to look like a Twilight dildo). Geez, make a scale that looks like a book already! That's what I did (I've got what you're looking for). You're not a cop, right? Cause boy you'd look cute in one of those hats!
Hit the jump to see the display case the scale was spotted in, just in case there was any question to its intended porpoise. Porpoise? I'm a dolphin, bitch!
Continue Reading " It's About Time: A Fake iPhone Pocket Scale "
Oct 3 2009 It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360
Want an XBox 360 signed by Sarah Palin? Me neither. But if you still want to go and blow a cool $1.1 million on one, congratulation, you're an idiot. Also, what's your home address?
The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012.
When the governors picnic took place, there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me.
What the hell's the matter with this guy? Reminds me of all the idiots trying to sell Wii's for $1 million the week before Christmas. Just saying, I wouldn't even pay that for a console signed by Princess Peach AND Zelda. I would pay that for one signed by The Geekologie Writer though. Contact me for more info.
Hit the jump for a picture of Palin signing it.
Continue Reading " It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360 "
Oct 2 2009 eBay: Amazing Optimus Prime Action Figure
Up on the auction block is a $45 Hasbro Optimus Prime action figure that's been meticulously modded and painted to match the leader of the Autobot's appearance in Revenge of the Fallen. The level of detail is amazing. Unfortunately, so is the price: bidding is currently at $730 with just under six hours remaining. So yeah, bid away if you want to blow a cool grand this afternoon. But if you want to blow up a cool air mattress, let me now -- I have guests coming to stay the weekend. Now transform and blow till you pass out!
Hit the jump for several more shots, including what the toy looked like before modification.
Continue Reading " eBay: Amazing Optimus Prime Action Figure "
Oct 1 2009 For Sale: The World's Largest Gummi Bears
I have no idea if these five pound gummi bears are, in fact, the world's largest commercially available sugar bombs, but I do know they look rats and not bears.
The World's Largest Gummy Bear is the lion of the candy world. There is no candy more magnificent or more powerful. This five-pound beast is the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears and packs a whopping 12,600 calories.
Its monstrous size is only matched by its enormous taste. The World's Largest Gummy Bear tastes just as delicious as its pint-sized counterpart.Available in several flavors: blue raspberry, red cherry, and green apple. Hand-made in the USA.
Each bear will set you back $30 plus whatever you incur at the dentist. Which, if you play your cards right and flirt with the hygienist, could be a tank of nitrous. Just saying, A-WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH. I feel like I'm on a spaceship!
Hit the jump for a moderately humorous commercial for the things.
Continue Reading " For Sale: The World's Largest Gummi Bears "
Sep 29 2009 Limited Edition Timepieces From Tokyoflash
This is a line of limited edition Casio watches available from Tokyoflash. Now I know what you're thinking, "Gosh, it's been forever -- I didn't think we'd eeeever see any more Tokyoflashes here on Geekologie." Well think again, suckers! Like a Phoenix, Tokyoflash is a fiery dragon created by Gaia to rise from a Japanese ashtray and aid Godzilla in ridding the world of our robotic overlords. And these designs, nowhere near as tricky to read as Tokyoflash's typical offerings, are perfect for those of you with special needs. I ordered the Cubic Puzzle model for myself. What? There's no shame in my special needs game! Now, help me tie this shoe, it's being tricky.
Product Page (one other limited edition model from Riki HERE)
Sep 28 2009 Not Just For Vampires: Blood Energy Drink
Blood Energy Potion is a $6 energy drink (availableJanuary 2010) that was made to look -- and have the same nutritional value -- of real blood. That's pretty gross.
"The fruit punch flavor packs 4 hours of energy along with iron, protein, and electrolytes. Not only does Blood Energy Potion have a similar nutritional makeup to real blood, but it has the same color, look, and consistency of blood. Get real blood nutrients without that real blood taste! The re-sealable transfusion bag style pouch provides the convenient delivery of fluids for vampires and humans alike! Contains no real blood, just synthetic! "
Pfft, forget synthetic blood. I drink the real deal. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MY FALLEN ENEMIES?! Say, none of you had AIDS, right?
Product Site
via
Blood Energy Drink [likecool]
Thanks to Ste, who is holding out for a bile energy drink. HORF.
Sep 24 2009 Be Like Obama: Pac-Man Laptop Stickers
AAAAHH, HE'S POINTING DIRECTLY AT MY SOUL! But that's not the point, the point is that there's little Pac-Man looking sticker (which I'm pretty sure is actually a Chain Chomp sans chain) on the president's MacBook Pro. And now you can have one just like it for the low, low introductory price of $3 (or 5 for $12)!
These Pacman stickers in dark blue are now available for sale from Obama Pacman! Works on your Apple laptop, including MacBook, MacBook Pro, MacBook Air, your Apple desktop, including iMac, Mac Pro, and maybe even a Mac Mini. These high quality stickers will also work for PCs and almost anything else you can get your hands on.
OMG, Pac is headed right for that apple! Don't eat it, Pac, DON'T DO IT! *om nom nom nom* Thanks a lot jerk, now we have to leave the garden. Say -- think you could get the missus to flash us all before we go?
Sep 21 2009 Sexy Japanese Lap Pillow Is An Actual Lap
This is a $99 Lap Pillow from Japan that, get this, looks like an actual lap! They come in both black and red skirt options and make a perfect gift for the person in your life that has everything but sexual relations with real people.
This pillow is skin-coloured polyurethene calves folded under soft thighs, a comfy cushion for napping, reading, or watching television.
And that's ALL they're good for, okay? Napping. Reading. Watching television. No funny business -- this includes prop comedy. Wocka wocka wocka!
Thanks to Claytron, who is holding out for chest pillows which, actually, probably already exist.
Sep 17 2009 Cardboard Optimus Prime Costume On eBay
Well folks, Halloween is right around the corner, and you all know what that means: another night of standing in the corner a sad Ninja Turtle while you watch the Zombie Nurse of your dreams make out with a guy dressed as The Crow. :( Also, fun costumes!
A couple of years back I went slightly mad for 3 weeks and spent every evening and weekend carefully constructing an Optimus Prime costume for a summer party. Summer party came, the costume won me first prize, and hasn't seen the light of day since.
This auction is for that costume (pictured). If you've got a Fancy Dress/Halloween party coming up, this costume will impress - and not just impress Transformers geeks. The time I wore the costume easily equates to that 15 minutes of fame time we're all supposed to get - applause from the packed balcony of random pub goers, women who wouldn't normally give me a second look wanting to have their picture taken with me (the benefit of wearing a cool mask eh...) ;)
Current bidding for the cardboardbot is £11.06 (~$18) with three days remaining. Unfortunately, the costume is for pick up only because "the costume doesn't transform into a lorry and move by itself, so you'll need to come and collect". BWAHAHAHAHA! But seriously, what do you mean it doesn't transform?
Thanks to Sam, who is selling a cardboard Voltron costume that will get you laid quicker than you can say, "wait, didn't I meet you in the men's room?"
Sep 15 2009 Tough Times: The iPhone Recession Case
Tough economic times call for even tougher men patrolling the streets with leather chaps and cute hats. And I am one of those men. Also, you don't want to spend too much money during a recession because then you won't have enough for drinking. And drinking, as I'm sure many of you know, is one of the very few things that make life worth living (in addition to the internet and the love of a good woman). Enter the Case-Mate iPhone 3G/3GS Recession Case. Priced at a paltry $1 (or 10 for $8), the cardboard case is the perfect protection for an iPhone toting cheapskate. Plus, they're great for starting fires. In the bedroom. I'm talking about that freaky deaky shit! Oh yeah, baby, that's the stuff -- now hit me with the extinguisher!
Thanks to Chuey The Rock n Roll Midget, who doesn't have to pay for airfare because he ships himself in a flat-rate box from the United States Postal Service (pay me bitches).
