Jun 29 2009 Michael Jackson: Singer, Dancer, Inventor
Sure the dude danced, but did you know he invented? It's true, Michael developed a shoe that made the impossible forward-lean in his 'Smooth Criminal' dance routine possible.
He did it with special shoes that quickly slid into pegs that rise out of the floor at just the right moment. Also helping the effect were rigid anklets that worked like ski boots, supporting Jackson and his entourage of dancers as they leaned forward at that magic angle.
Cool, but you know what I want? Moonwalk shoes. One time I went to a club with a friend of mine who can moonwalk. He only did it for like five seconds. Thirty women got pregnant.
Hit the jump for a video of Michael performing the stunt, action is at 3:50.
Continue Reading " Michael Jackson: Singer, Dancer, Inventor "
Jun 5 2009 I Want: These Custom Metal Gear Solid Shoes
These custom painted Metal Gear Solid shoes were made by UCLA student and artist Jacob Patterson (no relation to Robert Pattinson) and shown off at the E3 convention. I want like four for each foot. You know, because I have big feet. ;) Ladies, that wink was for you.
He is apparently going to talk with Kojima and team to discuss the possibility of mass-producing these shoes via the Puma brand. So if things go well expect to be able to buy these at a store near you sometime in the future!
Well I usually only wear flip flips and aqua socks, but I'd make an exception for these bad boys. And speaking of bad boys -- I've been one lately. Now which one of you lovely ladies wants to ride on my motorcycle. And by motorcycle I mean lawn mower. And by 'ride on' I mean cut the backyard. Any takers? Come on -- I'll make lemonade!
Hit the jump for two closeups.
Continue Reading " I Want: These Custom Metal Gear Solid Shoes "
May 29 2009 Fried Footwear: Mmmm, Bacon Loafers
These are bacon loafers by Keds. They are fully customizable by choosing different colors for the thread, elastic, midsole, etc., and will set you back $60 (I made these ones as bacon-y as possible and if you argue that I should have made the elastic red instead of pink you're wrong, pink is the color of raw bacon and I love it). Unfortunately, it appears they're only available in women's sizes (because women love sizzling meat -- am I right, girls?), which is a problem seeing how I'm a size 12 *wink*. Long story short, I'm sawing all my toes off.
Thanks to naas, who doesn't need to buy a woman bacon shoes to get his meat around her feet. YOW YOW!
May 12 2009 $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games
Looking to blow $2,500 on something that's bound to get all scuffed up and smell funky within a few months? Cool, buy me one of those masturbation machines. Or these shoes.
These are an exclusive pair...only one of its kind. Patent leather back with embedded fiber optic wiring in the shape of the XBOX logo. Battery placement is in the tongue as well as on and off switch that has 2 settings: Strobe or Constant light functions. Gradient lime swoosh faded to black. The toe is painted in a surreal Tiger Camouflage with accents of lime and bright green. These are a men's size 11.
$2,500 for a pair of sneakers? For that kind of money I was at least expecting them to play Halo. Yeah, and have speakers so I can hear all the penisless pre-pubescent boys telling me what a homosexual African American I am.
Hit the jump for several more shots including the fiber optics in action.
Continue Reading " $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games "
Jan 30 2009 Shrine Erected For Iraqi Shoe Thrower
Remember the reporter that bared his sole to President Bush during a news conference? Well now Muntadhir al-Zaidi's famous footwear is immortalized at an orphanage in Saddam Hussein's hometown of Tikrit, in the form of a giant copper shoe.
Assisted by children at the home, sculptor Laith al-Amiri erected a brown replica of one of the shoes hurled at Bush and Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki by journalist Muntadhir al-Zaidi during a press conference in Baghdad.
The shoe monument, made of fiberglass and coated with copper, consists of the shoe and a concrete base. The entire monument is 3.5 meters (11.5 feet) high. The shoe is 2.5 meters (8.2 feet) long and 1.5 meters (4.9 feet) wide.
Well now I want a big metal shoe. *removes flip-flop and throws at laptop* Take that, interweb godz! Haha, I know it was a sandal, but you think you could make my statue a boot? I want to drink out of it!
Monument to Bush shoe-throwing shines at Iraqi orphanage [cnn]
Thanks to Yousri and Sshaitan. Sshaitan wrote a rap song about Geekologie, here it is:
Of all the websites in my head/
this one PWNS the interweb/
the links bout link, the bourbon drinks/
the depressing posts about what you think/
(on the low you need a shrink)
but all in all damn im a fan/
starwars, steampunk, watches from japan/
perverse jokes, portal guns/
the sites poppin off at number one/
this is freestyle, so call it free/
pimp daddy , mac daddy ... geek-ol-oh g!
Those beats were so fresh! Now where was your song, Yousri?
Jan 27 2009 It's A Sock, It's A Camera, It's A....Sockera?
This is a digital camera made out socks by Netta Amir. Unfortunately, it can only take really fuzzy(!) pictures and is kind of a pervert (foot fetish). Wanna make one yourself? Look under your computer desk -- balled up socks? Well wash them. Then stitch them together and, if you're anything like me, PRESTO -- you're bleeding. Ha, I wasn't supposed to put them on first. But they were so warm and fresh out of the dryer! Alright, let's try this again. Ah, there we go -- eight socks sewn together. Kind of looks like an octopus. Hmm, I guess there are actual skills involved. But not gloves -- save those for the video camera.
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups, including a picture the camera took.
Continue Reading " It's A Sock, It's A Camera, It's A....Sockera? "
Jan 26 2009 It's A Flip-Flop, It's A Shoe, It's A, Um, Bad Idea
This is an '80's looking hightop that turns into a flip-flop via a zipper. It's called a modular shoe, and it's bound to be one of the worst ideas ideas I've ever heard of. I mean, Jesus, flip-flops cost a dollar and fit in your pocket. Now here's a tip: if you're so poor you're actually considering buying a pair of convertible sneak-flops, BUY SOME FREAKING GROCERIES INSTEAD. And, on a side note, I bought a pair but my penis kept getting caught in the zipper so I threw them out. Ladies?
Hybrid Flip-Flop High Tops [ohgizmo]
Aug 19 2008 Yummy!: Krispy Kreme Makes Grass Sandals
Krispy Kreme, best known for their heart-stoppingly delicious glazed donuts is now making grass sandals. Wait, what?
Krispy Kreme questioned over 1,000 UK workers and found that over half (53%) of urbanites believe their stress levels are affected by a lack of contact with Mother Nature. In response to the problem Krispy Kreme has created the world's first grass flip-flops to bring summer magic to the city - giving stressed out workers a (literal) spring in their step by creating an instant grassy park underneath their feet regardless of their urban location.
Each sandal has over 5,000 blades of grass and can last up to 4 months if properly watered and cared for. I'm getting a pair, I'll let you know how they work out.
UPDATE: The neighbor let his dog shit on my freaking sandals and didn't even pick it up. So when he goes on vacation this weekend I'm putting the end of a garden hose in one of his basement windows and flooding it. Glazed donut flip-flops FTW!
World's First (Living) Grass Flip Flops [responsesource]
Thanks Crystal, I saved the last donut for you.
Aug 4 2008 Adidaz Hellbeezy Sheeziez Comin' Zoon
Sorry, but I had a bet with a coworker I couldn't use five Z's in a post title. I think it went pretty well, don't you? Barely noticeable. So, Adidas is dropping two new pairs of Hellboy inspired footwear. Those are the two different styles there. They're both limited editions and will be priced around $150. Take a close look at that bottom pair. What do they look like? If you guessed that pair of tight, black vinyl pants I used to wear during my raving days, you guessed correct. You know, the ones that melted to me when I got too close to the bonfire. You ever peeled melted plastic off your junk? It's worse than a burning marshmallow.
Hit the jump for one more picture of the sneakers on top of a shoebox!
Jul 10 2008 Limited Edition Star Wars Adidas Shoes
This is the first I'd heard about the limited edition Star Wars x Adidas Super Stars sneakers (do people still say sneakers? I do) but apparently they came out a couple months ago and were limited to 800 pairs per side of the force (that's 800 dark side, 800 light side). So they're probably already snatched up. I looked on eBay and nada. So, yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to write a couple threatening letters to Adidas to send me a pair.
Great attention to detail was taken by Adidas for these sneakers. The "Yoda" Super Stars feature a hemp upper much like something the Jedi Master wore on his home planet of Dagobah. In addition to the good choice of colors and materials, Adidas also covered the lace tips in the neon green color of Yoda's lightsaber. The "Darth Vader" Super Stars takes inspiration from the characters mask. The parallel lines on the side are like that covering Vader's mouth and the black patent leather to represent the glossy finish. Again Adidas finished off the kicks with red lace tips to match Vader's lightsaber.
Okay, so I just found a place that had been selling them (sold out now) for $275. Which, around here, is the same price as 11 mediocre lap dances (22 on buy one get one free night). And, honestly, which would feel better on your weary soles(!)? The prosecution rests.
Hit the jump for a ton more pictures of both the Vader and Yoda models.
Jul 7 2008 Back To The Future II Marty McFly Hyperdunks Coming Next Month, No Word On Hoverboard
In a move that makes Nike infinitely cooler in my eyes, the company had decided to release a model similar to those seen in Back to the Future II. Of course I'll never buy them, but at least they're trying. Unfortunately the Marty McFly Hyperdunks have laces and don't vacuum-fit to your feet. So the similarities basically end at looking kind of like the ones in the movie. They do sport "Flywire technology" though, which doesn't mean anything really except they're allegedly lightweight. Available late next month (July) for an undisclosed amount of future money, I'll most certainly be passing. The time machine is near completion so I'll just travel to the future and snag the real thing.
UPDATE: Just went for my first spin into the future.
Bad news: There are no cool shoes in the future, only killer robots.
Good news: I called it, pay up!
Hit the jump for the scene in the movie where Marty first puts the shoes on.
Jun 23 2008 Custom Aqua Teen Hunger Air Force Ones
I die a little inside every day that I don't post some custom painted shoes, so rest assured that if you don't like them, at least you're not suffering as much as I am. Oh, and you see what I did with the title there? I combined Aqua Teen Hunger Force with Air Force One, a popular Nike shoe. Sure this isn't a Nike, but Aqua Teen British Knights Force sounds stupid. Wait, no it doesn't. Anyway, this is a custom painted Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe made for someone's birthday.
Artist's Comments:Aqua Teen Hunger Force from Adult Swim.
The left shoe for Mallery's birthday shoes.(Kept laces off for better pictures.)
Haha, Mallery -- you only got one shoe for your birthday. Sucks to be you. Just like it sucked being me when I needed glasses and my dad only got me a monocle and an eyepatch.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe [deviantart]
Thanks Karla, I had almost forgotten I looked like a piratey Mr. Peanut growing up
Jun 5 2008 More Custom Footwear For You To Love/Hate
Well folks, it's been awhile since I've showered or posted any custom shoes, so I guess now is as good a time as any to release the hounds with another set of custom footwear. The Optimus Prime ones there are admittedly awesome as hell and I'd totally give my left nut (well, only nut) to have them. Unfortunately they're selling for about $600 and the doctor just called and told me my ball, at auction, would only fetch around $16-$18. Hit the jump for a ton more (GTA, Pac-Man, Care Bears, Batman, Simpsons, Marvel Comics, Mario, another Transformers) that all go for around $160. I'm not sure how they made the Optimus pair, but everything on the next page was made by someone sewing patches of printed fabric into the shoe's recesses. If you're interested I included links to the customizer's eBay store and online store. If you're not interested you can do what I do and just walk on the skulls of your fallen enemies. Skull-shoes baby, I'm bringin' em back!
Continue Reading " More Custom Footwear For You To Love/Hate "
May 22 2008 Hand-Drawn Zelda Themed Shoes For Sale
So a money making scheme came to me in a dream last night: 1. Buy $5 canvas shoes from Wal-Mart. 2. Lock my little brother in his room and make him draw Zelda scenes on them. 3. Scotchguard the shoes so the marker doesn't wear off and post the resulting artistic novicepieces on Etsy for $42. 4. Watch the doubloons roll in.
Now I know what you custom painted shoe haters are thinking, "Damn, these ones are actually freaking awesome!" And you're right, they are. And I'm not just saying that because I'm the one raking in the dough. Although I'm just saying that because I'm the one raking in the dough. And no, there's nothing wrong with my little brother. He was dipped out of the same kiddy gene-pool that I was, which means he's practically a genius. Aren't you little guy? Stop eating that marker. No, you can't breathe the Scotchguard. At least not until I try it first. *HUFF* Holy shit little bro, you gotta try this!
Two more pictures after the jump, and no I didn't really make these and you definitely shouldn't huff Scotchguard. Leave that to the professionals.
May 6 2008 "Verb For Shoe" Shoes Are Available, $700
The Verb for Shoe "smart shoe" has been in the works since 2004. It was developed by MIT spinoff company VectraSense and they're finally accepting preorders. What do you get for your $700?
An embedded computer that automatically adjusts the shoe to your feet, syncs with your PC, and communicates with the shoes of others to exchange contact information.
Wow, for all that functionality I was expecting to pay at least $1,000. Of course, if you don't have $700 you could just, oh I don't know, buy a pair of shoes that fits and write people's contact information on your hand. For that kind of Pillsbury dough I was expecting flubber soles, a couple burning lasers, and a money back guarantee that you can't lose a bar fight if you're wearing them. I guess what I'm getting at is this: I lost a bar fight last night. I was wearing sandals. And, contrary to popular belief, beating someone in the head with a flip-flop doesn't do shit.
Verb For Shoe "smart shoe" finally goes on sale for $700 [engadget]
Apr 22 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Shoe Vending Machines
Here at Geekologie we've seen all kinds of different vending machines. We've seen ones that dispense soccer balls, pizzas, people, pot, other drugs, and even small children. Well now we're adding shoes to that list. As someone who has woken up shoeless and in a ditch on the bad side of town several times, so I can attest to the brilliance of footwear vending machines. This particular dispensary is on London's Carnaby Street and spits out Onitsuka Tigers. The machine holds 24 pairs in 6 different sizes (probably no 14's) and each costs an undisclosed number of coconuts. As you can see from the picture, the machine really attracts the chicks, and I'd totally do them all.
UPDATE: Okay, turns out that third chick is actually a dude. I retract my previous statement. I would now only do chicks 1, 2, and 4, despite dude's silky soft hair, capris, and fetching mustachio.
Shoe Vending Machine, Buy Shoes 24/7 [uberreview]
Apr 3 2008 Shoes Have Headlights, Rubber, Lots Of White
Well in the pictures after the jump they look all white. Admittedly, in that picture they look gray on top. But I digress. They have headlights in the toes.
Pioneer is a concept shoe that coverts kinetic walking energy into electrical energy. There's a tiny battery that charges up with each step and can keep the headlights on for a full 12 hours straight dispersing light at 1.5 meters.
Wow, they've had these for years. My niece even has a pair. Every time she takes a step Dora the Explorer and little pink butterflies light up on the sides. I went for a pair, but alas, no 11's. Personally I have no interest in this model. Perhaps if you're a night runner looking for a little extra safety these would come in handy (read: footy). But I've been running (from the authorities) in the dark for years without any problems. Except for the times I've hidden under overturned kiddy-pools. They always check under those.
NOTE: If you foresee yourself being chased by a ninja in the future do not buy these, you'll be totally f***ed.
Several more pictures after the jump.
Continue Reading " Shoes Have Headlights, Rubber, Lots Of White "
Feb 8 2008 Z-Coils: Go Go Gadget Stupid Springy Shoes
Well not only does this make two spring related posts today, it also makes this Inspector Gadget week at Geekologie, first with the personal copter and now the Z-coil spring shoes. First utilized by a clumsy cartoon inspector in the mid 80's, these shoes guarantee to aid you in your mission of capturing Dr. Claw and putting an end to M.A.D.'s illegal operations.
UPDATE: Okay, it turns out I bought a pair of these online one night when I was drunk and they just came. I've been running around the neighborhood and I've got to say, they're surprisingly comfy. I'm gonna take them out in a minute and do some tests to see how high they make me jump.
UPDATE: Not high enough to clear a bus, somebody call an ambulance.
Scariest Vision of the Future on Two Legs [io9]
Thanks to Sebastian, who can jump over buildings with a single leap -- barefooted, for the tip
Dec 19 2007 Reebok Voltron Inspired Shoes Are Colorful
Reebok has released a line of limited edition Voltron inspired shoes. If you don't know who Voltron is then I don't know if we can be friends anymore. The Voltron Lion Force Pack is a line of shoes "whose colorways correspond to one of the five Voltron robots." Three of them are Reebok Pumps, which I'm stoked are still being made, and the others are regular running shoes. They run between $80 and $135 based on which model you choose, and each pair comes with the robot lion toy their colors match. Damn these take me back -- I hadn't thought about Voltron in forever. Or at least not since last night when I was playing with all the toys before bed. They tried to recall them back in 1986 for containing unsafe amounts of lead paint, but I refused to return them. I'd licked most of the paint off by then anyways.
Voltron Reeboks Unite Like Robot, But Form Messy Pile [gizmodo]
