Sep 29 2009 She's So....Beautiful: How To Fix Your Baby's Misshapen Nog
Let's be honest with ourselves: our children, when first born, are ugly and their heads are all smushed cause they just got squeezed through a vagina like the last of the toothpaste. And by "our" I mean "your" because I don't have any kids. But now there's hope for your little football-head thanks to Cranial Technologies. Basically they'll design a custom helmet for your child that exerts light pressure on their dome to mash that melon back into shape. Plus, they're fully customizable with stickers and paint! For a small fee, I'll even sign the thing like a cast. And for a large fee I'll whip anybody's ass that makes fun of your child's helmet. HELMETS ARE THE NEW HAIR, FOLKS, YOU WATCH!
Thanks to Jordan, who was born with a perfect shaped head because he burst out of his mother's chest like an alien.
Sep 9 2009 Cowboy Stadium's Big Black Screen Of Fail
This is a picture in the Dallas Cowboys stadium of a giant display that is connected to a computer that (and I'm using my Sherlock Holmes-y powers of deduction here) was improperly shut down. Just a guess. Oh, here comes another!: morbidly obese. I know, I'd make a killing at the fair.
Dallas Cowboys Stadium Continues Streak of Giant Screen Fails [gizmodo]
Jun 25 2009 So Handsome: Master Chief's Senior Portraits
This is a little gallery of Master Chief's high school senior portraits. As you will see, he was one dapper young lad. And probably the star of the football team. Which means, more than likely, he dated all the cheerleaders and made fun of people like me. Yeah, Master Chief is a jerk.
Hit the jump to see a few of my favorites, then the link to see them all.
Continue Reading " So Handsome: Master Chief's Senior Portraits "
Jun 23 2009 Halo On The Dallas Cowboys Video Wall
This is someone playing Halo for the XBox 360 on the Dallas Cowboys stadium video wall. It is fairly large. Not as big as my TV, but close. Per tipster Mike the Robot Destroyer:
Long time follower of your site. I check it about 400 times a day to keep apprised of all activity pertaining to robots and their very disturbing evolutionary path towards the ability to kill all humanity. We both know they are already self aware and feel the urge to kill us, they are just waiting for us to give them the tools. I'm convinced robot scientists have been hypnotized by mind robots - either that, or robot scientists are really just future robots sent back in time to invent future robots..... hmmmmmm
No idea what that has to do with playing giant Halo, but at least he's got his head in the right place.
Thanks Mike the Robot Destroyer, now get out there and make your Geekologie Writer proud!
Mar 2 2009 Oooh, Yellow-y: Pittsburgh Steelers Case Mod
Somebody went and made a Pittsburgh Steelers computer case modeled after the team's helmet. This is it. It glows yellow to make your room look like you've got a secret gold stash in there or the briefcase from Pulp Fiction. Sadly, I'm not allowed to watch sports anymore because my doctor says they make me lash out at the television. Which is true, I do. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, YOU STUPID GIT!? I SWEAR, IF I COULD FIND YOUR REMOTE I WOULD BEAT YOU WITH IT! HEY, TURN OFF THAT CLOSED CAPTIONING OR....THAT'S IT *bodyslam!* Haha, how'd that feel, you jerk? Great, you're leaking plasma on my new carpet.
Hit the jump to see the keyboard, which is awesome (take a look at the keys).
Continue Reading " Oooh, Yellow-y: Pittsburgh Steelers Case Mod "
Feb 2 2009 Some Cable Viewers In Arizona Got A Special Adult Film Surprise During The Superbowl
This is a picture of Jesus at the Superbowl. Hey, the man loves facepaint and funny hats. Since he was at the game, he didn't see the porno somebody inserted into the Comcast broadcast of the game in Tucson, Arizona.
With under three minutes left and just after Larry Fitzgerald's heroic comeback(ish) touchdown for the Cardinals, the video feed abruptly switched to a scene from stablemate channel Club Jenna, treating viewers to the sight of seemingly omnipresent porn guy Evan Stone swinging his junk around like a maniac. This interlude lasted about 30 seconds.
Comcast told the Arizona Daily Star that engineers have been "working throughout the night" to figure out what happened, but haven't yet come up with an explanation.
Yeah, wow, I wonder how that happened, Comcast. Definitely gonna have to put your thinking cap on tight to solve this one. Also, I did not post the NSFW video here, but you can see it if you follow the link. I watched it, and, yeah, you can bet your golden ticket I'll be looking for it the next time I enter the curtained mecca at Video Palace.
Prank of the Year: Comcast Tucson Airs Graphic Porn During Super Bowl (NSFW) [gizmodo]
Thanks to Lauren, Louis, Emi and Kokopure, who won't recognize me because I only visit the video store in costume.
Jan 5 2009 Geekologie Writer's Junk Spotted On G-Maps
Just in case you were curious, that's it. :O
Thanks to TetterkeT for reminding me I passed out on the football field that night. Haha, the visiting team drew on my face with Sharpie!
Nov 27 2008 Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Get full, get drunk, watch some football, make out with a relative. Sadly, since I'm the orphaned son of ninja-pirate gypsies, I'll probably eat at Captain D's and be back in a little bit. Until then, gobble gobble! And also, sorry, Native Americans. :( You totally got us back with the whole smoking thing though!
Oct 22 2008 Stormtrooper Is Bengals Fan, Loves Losing
Not to be outdone by the Master Chief and Optimus Prime Saints fan comes this Cincinnati Bengals (0-7) stormtrooper. As you can see, he's really rocking out with his orange, Darth Vader loving penis out. Good for him. And, to his credit, this picture was actually taken last year when the team was 4-7. Which, in four more games, they might be this season too! Or, you know, 0-11.
Bengal Trooper [sportsillustrated]
Thanks to Pablo, who doesn't wear costumes to sporting events.
Oct 16 2008 Apparently Optimus Is A Saints Fan Too
What's up with all my heroes being New Orleans Saints fans? First Master Chief, and now Optimus Prime. You'd think at least one of them would root for the Redskins or Steelers. But noooo, they're all New Orleans fans. Maybe it's Mardi Gras. Granted, loving boobs is a hero prerequisite.
On a side note, I really am gonna be in New Orleans this weekend, so let's meet up and wrestle some f***in' gators! Or, I dunno, something else.*
*I'm thinking boobs.
Saints' Fans' Signs of the Times [blogofneworleans]
Thanks to Alejandro, who may or may not live in New Orleans, but if he does, better let me puke on his shoes this weekend. Now transform and onside kick out!
Oct 16 2008 Master Chief Loves Football, New Orleans
This is a New Orleans Saints Master Chief during week 6 of the NFL. Who knew Master Chief was such a diehard fan? Not I. Did you? And if you did, why didn't you tell me earlier? I like watching football, I like drinking beer. The chief and I could have been BFFs by now. Instead, he won't even return my texts. Love you, call me!
NFL Fans [sportsillustrated]
Thanks to Ted, who understands the importance of watching live sporting events in costume.
Aug 7 2008 Dark Knight PSAs With Batman And The Joker
This is a public service announcement featuring Batman and The Joker reminding you about the importance of wearing sunscreen. It's one of several announcements made by the Dark Knight and his arch-nemesis for the good of the public. I posted two more after the jump, one on bike safety and one about taking time out of your day to have fun. Unfortunately, there isn't one about the importance of staying in school. So kids: stay in school. You don't have to go to college, but I do recommend it if you want to experiment with drugs and alcohol.
Hit the jump for two more and a link to several others.
Continue Reading " Dark Knight PSAs With Batman And The Joker "
Apr 23 2008 Run For The Hills Or The TV?: Robot Soccer Players To Compete With Humans By 2050
The Robocup German Open is in full effect (April 21-25) and it's every bit as frightening as you'd expect. The only thing I found comfort in was that the robots are clearly too stupid to distinguish a soccer ball from an orange tennis ball. Those stupid bastards. We're still doomed though. According to Stefan Kohlbrecher, a member of the Technical University of Darmstadt's Darmstadt Dribblers, "The goal of the RoboCup is to compete against human world champions with robots by the year 2050." Uh oh. No word on whether the robots will be equipped with rockets and laser cannons, but as far as ratings go, I think it's a no-brainer.
Two videos from the 2007 cup after the jump -- one teaser trailer, and one of the final match in the humanoid division.
Feb 6 2008 Stormtroopers Root For The Winning Team
Maybe stormtroopers aren't as foolish as I first thought, fighting for the dark side and all. Seen here is a trooper taking a break from the traditional all white uniform to don a Giants inspired one at the recent Super Bowl. Apparently he picked the right team to fight for this time. Good for him. No word on how many cheerleaders he got to slay after the game, but my guess is between zero and none. But still, cool costume.
Thanks to Bas, whose friend actually took this picture, for the awesome tip. Bas, by the way, has been known to take cheerleaders from both teams home after a game, because he's that cool.
Nov 29 2007 Tow Hitch For Your LCD/Plasma Television
From the "Why God, why?" department comes a tow hitch for your truck that you can attach a flat-screen TV to. The thing costs $200, and I can't help but feel that it's money ill-spent. Even if the television does survive the drive to your tailgate without getting hit by a rock or being rear-ended -- what happens when you're in the stadium watching the game? I'll tell you what happens: I pull up next to your truck and unscrew my new flat-screen, compliments of you. I also take any remaining beers or liquor you have lying around. Thanks moron.
Tow Hitch TV Mount [boingboing]
Oct 9 2007 Vertical Soccer Game 10 Stories Up
This video is of an Adidas billboard in Tokyo where two players are suspended by ropes and kick a tethered soccer ball around. They keep calling it a "real soccer match", but I think that's debatable, seeing how it's nothing like a real soccer match. It's from 2006, so you may have seen it already. Which makes you an awesome person. But not as awesome as me, because I've actually played something very similar to this. If urinating off the top of my apartment building onto pedestrians falls in the realm of "something very similar to this".
Note: It's worth noting that at the end of the video the news reporter announces the billboard's location as "Downtown Japan."
Adidas Soccer Billboard Features Real Hanging Humans Playing [tokyomango]
Sep 28 2007 Battery Eater Munches On Remaining Power
The Battery Eater, by David Dear, sucks the remaining juice from AA batteries. He's magnetic, so you stick him on the fridge, throw in a battery, and his eyes blink with zinc-carbon ecstasy until he's munched all the power. They cost $12.85 from giftmonger.com. I have one of these, except it looks like a television remote and changes the channel and volume on the tv. When it can't do that anymore, I pronounce the batteries dead and throw them at rival fans during football games.
Battery Eater Munches On Remaining Power [redferret]
Aug 9 2007 FIFA '07 Computer Mod
This computer was made for an Electronic Arts FIFA '07 competition that took place in Germany, the winner taking home the rig. All I can see is that it's pretty freaking awesome. I mean it has a miniature foosball table on top - you can't beat that. I've got tons of respect for this guy, because I know how difficult good computer modding can be. My last project turned out less like a sweet computer case and more like a pile of particleboard and computer parts in the corner of my bedroom that the cats like to pee on.
FIFA '07 Computer Mod [Bit-Tech]
