Nov 21 2009
Food For Thought Your Feet: Bread Shoes
They're slippers. They're made out of bread. You can wear them then eat them. But you won't, because that's disgusting. I jest, knowing you you probably will. Freak. Just remember to take them off first.
Martynas Birskys of the Vilnius-based design studio DaDaDa sells slippers made out of bread. For your comfort, you can select from various sizes and grains. It's hard to argue with his sales pitch "eatable...dries itself... made from bread...first in fashion...needs no pressing...feels good in dry climate ...won't sag."
Tipster crystal noted these would probably go great with a little -- wait for it -- wait for it -- toe jam. I get it! I get it! you're trying to steal my job.
Bread Shoes [neatorama]
Thanks crystal, BUT I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
Jun 29 2009 Michael Jackson: Singer, Dancer, Inventor
Sure the dude danced, but did you know he invented? It's true, Michael developed a shoe that made the impossible forward-lean in his 'Smooth Criminal' dance routine possible.
He did it with special shoes that quickly slid into pegs that rise out of the floor at just the right moment. Also helping the effect were rigid anklets that worked like ski boots, supporting Jackson and his entourage of dancers as they leaned forward at that magic angle.
Cool, but you know what I want? Moonwalk shoes. One time I went to a club with a friend of mine who can moonwalk. He only did it for like five seconds. Thirty women got pregnant.
Hit the jump for a video of Michael performing the stunt, action is at 3:50.
Continue Reading " Michael Jackson: Singer, Dancer, Inventor "
May 29 2009 Fried Footwear: Mmmm, Bacon Loafers
These are bacon loafers by Keds. They are fully customizable by choosing different colors for the thread, elastic, midsole, etc., and will set you back $60 (I made these ones as bacon-y as possible and if you argue that I should have made the elastic red instead of pink you're wrong, pink is the color of raw bacon and I love it). Unfortunately, it appears they're only available in women's sizes (because women love sizzling meat -- am I right, girls?), which is a problem seeing how I'm a size 12 *wink*. Long story short, I'm sawing all my toes off.
Thanks to naas, who doesn't need to buy a woman bacon shoes to get his meat around her feet. YOW YOW!
May 12 2009 $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games
Looking to blow $2,500 on something that's bound to get all scuffed up and smell funky within a few months? Cool, buy me one of those masturbation machines. Or these shoes.
These are an exclusive pair...only one of its kind. Patent leather back with embedded fiber optic wiring in the shape of the XBOX logo. Battery placement is in the tongue as well as on and off switch that has 2 settings: Strobe or Constant light functions. Gradient lime swoosh faded to black. The toe is painted in a surreal Tiger Camouflage with accents of lime and bright green. These are a men's size 11.
$2,500 for a pair of sneakers? For that kind of money I was at least expecting them to play Halo. Yeah, and have speakers so I can hear all the penisless pre-pubescent boys telling me what a homosexual African American I am.
Hit the jump for several more shots including the fiber optics in action.
Continue Reading " $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games "
Apr 21 2009 Jones Is Back With An Even Better Business
Remember Toby Jones of Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage? Well he's back with another genius business idea, this time in the form of Jones' Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage. As you can see from the video, they even have fried dinosaur. Which, at least in my opinion, is just plain wrong. I'm no black widow!
Jones' Good Ass BBQ And Foot Massage [jonesbigasstruckrentalandstorage]
Thanks to my brother SuperFrank, who almost burnt the house down trying to fry a porkchop sandwich. My God did that smell good.
Jan 27 2009 It's A Sock, It's A Camera, It's A....Sockera?
This is a digital camera made out socks by Netta Amir. Unfortunately, it can only take really fuzzy(!) pictures and is kind of a pervert (foot fetish). Wanna make one yourself? Look under your computer desk -- balled up socks? Well wash them. Then stitch them together and, if you're anything like me, PRESTO -- you're bleeding. Ha, I wasn't supposed to put them on first. But they were so warm and fresh out of the dryer! Alright, let's try this again. Ah, there we go -- eight socks sewn together. Kind of looks like an octopus. Hmm, I guess there are actual skills involved. But not gloves -- save those for the video camera.
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups, including a picture the camera took.
Continue Reading " It's A Sock, It's A Camera, It's A....Sockera? "
