Nov 14 2009 Impressive: 300,000 Birds Perform Air Ballet

I have no idea who the hell can tell that's 300,000 birds, but I'm running with it. And by running I mean flying. Just like those birds. Except less graceful. But equally naked! Think of me as like the Eleventh Plague of Egypt, if the Eleventh Plague of Egypt were a naked man standing on the roof flapping his arms. I'm coming for you, Pharoah! *caw caw!*

It's a bird! It's a cloud! It's a bird cloud [yahoobuzz]

Nov 4 2009 Living At The Airport: Luggage Turns To Sofa

This 4-piece luggage ensemble by Dutch designer Erik De Nijs forms a comfortable little sofa when you're not dragging it around the airport. Sure it's all mixy-matchy, but maybe Erik is blind and the woman at the fabric store didn't have the heart to tell him he chose four different patterns. Of course she didn't -- like women have hearts! BWHAHAHAHAHA!! Or motor skills. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Suited Case by Erik De Nijs [likecool]

Thanks to Stephy, who once slept in an airport for two weeks straight and has ridden the baggage conveyor belt to the end.

Nov 3 2009 Plane Passenger Accidentally Ejects Himself

I know what you're thinking, "big deal, I eject myself all the time", but you're thinking of something different. You see, this guy accidentally ejected himself from a plane mid-flight. WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

The South African air force has confirmed the incident that took place last Wednesday, when the passenger took off for a flight with an experienced pilot from South Africa's Silver Falcons air display team. Investigators are assuming that the passenger tried to steady himself while the pilot was putting the Pilatus PC-7 Mk II through its paces by grabbing the eject lever.

A retired SAAF instructor pilot said the passenger was extremely lucky to have survived the ejection with barely a scratch.

He discounted the possibility that the seat fired of its own accord, as too many safety features were built into the system.

"All it takes is for the firing handle [the rubbery black- and yellow-striped loop] to be pulled up about 2,5cm and you're on your way out."

Haha, that's awesome. I wonder what was going through the poor bastard's head. I imagine something like, "HOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!". Also, I would have done the same thing. How many people can say they've ejected from a plane before? And, more importantly, does it warrant a free drink at the bar? It does? Sweeeeeet. Because then I pulled the lever and was all like PSSSSSHOOOOOOW!! Bourbon please.

Man accidentally ejects himself from plane [mail&guardian]

Thanks to Russell, who once ejected himself from a Big Wheels trying to jump a recycling bin. And to Equalizer, who once ejected himself from bed and ran like hell after sleeping with a Wookie.

Oct 28 2009 Don't Swat Me, Bro!: Ad-Carrying Flies

This is a video of some tradeshow in Germany where a company released flies with advertisements attached to them like those little planes at the beach. It's pretty awesome and really got me thinking about hiring mosquitoes to start promoting Geekologie. And by promoting Geekologie i mean flying a video camera into your sister's bedroom. I am a modern Don Draper!

Youtube

Thanks to Harald, who still advertises in the newspaper. THE NEWSPAPER! What is this, the 40's? Geekologie is where it's at, son!

Oct 27 2009 Amazing!: A Hummingbird Feeder Helmet

This is a video of a hummingbird feeder that's incorporated into a $80 flowery mask. You leave it outside for awhile to get the birds used to it, then put that sucker on one day and sit still while the hummers come to feed right between your eyes. INTENSE! Reminds me of the time I let a murder of crows peck my eyes out. Probably shouldn't have done that. But like they say, hindsight's 20/20. Except mine, I'm totally blind now.

Product Site
via
Wearable hummingbird feeder: they'll think your eyes are juicy, delicious flowers! [boingboing]

Thanks to Fally, who once fed an owl a mouse right from her hand because she's an adrenaline junkie.

Oct 16 2009 Map Shows All Flights Over North America

This is a screenshot from the National Air Traffic Controllers Association (an organization that knows how to party) real-time map of flights over North America. Except it's not actually real-time, it's delayed 5 minutes. Of course, judging from the 2005 copyright in the lower left this may have existed for awhile. But what it lacks in newness I think we can all agree is more than made up for in, uh, little white dots. Don't let Pac-Man see it!

Flight Explorer [natca]

Thanks to e, who's contemplating flying south for the winter. Smart -- I don't jive with the cold either.

Oct 15 2009 UPDATE: 6-Year Old (NOT) Floating Around In Homemade UFO Balloon

That's no 'Get Well' balloon, that's a 20' foil aircraft with a 6-year old boy inside, floating aimlessly 8,000 feet above eastern Colorado. Uh-oh.

The helium balloon was tethered to the boy's family home in Fort Collins, the Larimer County Sheriff's Department said. The boy got into the craft Thursday morning and undid the rope anchoring it.

Margie Martinez of the Weld County Sheriff's Office said a sibling saw the boy climb into the basket before the balloon took off. Since the door on the balloon was unlocked, Martinez said it's possible the boy had fallen out.

"The structure at the bottom of the balloon that the boy is in is made of extremely thin plywood and won't withstand any kind of a crash at all," said Erik Nilsson, Larimer County emergency manager, according to CNN affiliate KMGH.

Great, so he either fell out or won't survive the crash. Hooray for positive thinking. Come back down safely, balloon boy.

UPDATE: No boy when balloon landed. Not good.

UPDATE UPDATE: Falcon (the boy's actual name) was found hiding in a box in the garage attic (great search effort). This calls for celebration! (you hold him down, I'll tie on the fireworks)

6-year-old Colorado boy floats away in balloon [cnn]

Thanks to Jimmothy, stacy, jordana, dorothy, NICKSTER, rya, Jake, e.,The Superficial Writer, steven, Nigel, Valhalla, Lizzie, Noah and pepe la PEW PEW, whose parents thankfully never let them play around giant UFO balloons unsupervised.

Oct 10 2009 They're Good For Something: Dead Fly Art

Dead fly art: it just makes sense. Now I don't really want to go into the kind of person it takes to collect dead flies and glue them to a piece of paper to make "art", but suffice it to say they're our kinda person. Plus, I really dig the final results. Well, except for the moth in the last piece -- didn't see that one coming!

Hit the jump for a whole bunch more.

Continue Reading " They're Good For Something: Dead Fly Art "

Sep 4 2009 Balls Of Steel: F-18 Hornet Buzzes Man's Head

This is a video of an F-18 Hornet buzzing some guy's head so close you can taste the jet fuel. Now I'm not saying this thing would kill you if it hit you, but it would certainly mess your hair up. Also, not to brag or nothin', but one time I let a jet land ON MY FACE. Now who's the man?!

F-18 Hornet Ultra Low High Speed Fly By [todaysbigthing]

Thanks to Matt, who once flew a prop-plane through a barn and accidentally hit a chicken.

Sep 1 2009 I Must Have It!: Magical Unicorn Juice

Some guy on eBay recently sold the last jar of unicorn semen in the United States for $31 plus $3 flat rate shipping. If you were the buyer please contact me, as I must have some. *ahem* For science, for science (if I repeat things it makes them real).

This is possibly the only jar of Unicorn semen left in the united states.Unicorns were bred for their magic and keen night hunting skills to protect lepreachauns that had been injured in battle during the civil war. Unicorns were only found in two places on the planet, the northern and southern hemispheres. Anyone in possession of this rare and magical fluid will be able to swim with the wolves and fly with the dolphins as its powers are still being found.I opened the jar while i was on my computer and my computer flickered for a minute and i realized the semen had helped me kill Yogg-Saron on my World of Warcraft account and i recieved the Shawl of Haunted memories and the Mantle of the Wayward Conqueror. i have already been blessed and recieved my gift...so i'm going to pass the power onto someone else. Do not drink the unicorn semen as the power is too much for the human digestive system and could change your DNA and give you the shits. Bid, but Bid Wisely.

Do not drink, my ass. I have an iron stomach (and lung) and am gonna guzzle that whole jar like I'm shotgunning a beer. LASER VISION, YOU WILL BE MINE!

eBay Auction

Thanks Chris, but if I found out you bought it and aren't sharing, well, that's just cruel. GIVE ME A SIP!

Aug 7 2009 Chinese Farmer Builds Wooden Roflcopter

Some guy in China went and made his own helicopter entirely out of wood. Except for the engine. Because wooden engines are stupid. Admit it, maple motor, you are dumb!

20 year old Chinese farmer Wu Zhongyuan built himself a helicopter using only -- according to the man -- what he remembers of middle school physics lessons and "relevant knowledge [found while] surfing the Internet via my mobile phone."

His single-seater conveyance has blades made from the wood of an Elm tree, a frame reinforced with steel pipes and uses an engine from a motorcycle -- all for around $1,600. Wu claims the 'copter can get him as high as 2,600 feet, though it seems he's grounded for the time being as the Chinese government has forbid him to fly because of safety reasons.

First of all -- 2,600 ft? Sure you're not exaggerating a little, Wu? By say, oh I dunno, 2,599 and 3/4 feet? Also, that is just like a government to prevent a man from having any fun. Know what I'm sayin'? Legalize it!

Chinese MacGyver builds working helicopter out of wood [dvice]

Jul 30 2009 Cocoa & The Sandersens: Strike 3, Yer Out!

NOTE: VIDEO BEST WATCHED WITH CANDY AND ICE CREAM BUT NOT POP-TARTS.

I honestly didn't know what a strike out was until I watched this, and I think it's pretty safe to say I've been living my life in vain. This video is so jam packed with important life lessons that I'm thinking about writing a book about it. It's gonna be called, 'Striking Out: How Not To Give A Dang'. Yeah, and it's gonna be a bestseller in both self help AND cookbooks because I'm going to include a couple of my favorite stoned recipes like 'Skittles' and 'Ice Cream Right Out Of The Box'. So, Cocoa, what do you say -- me, you, a palace made of candy? BECAUSE I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

cocoa likes this

Jul 28 2009 Russian Pilot Ejecting From Plane At Mach 2

Growing up, my dad would only slow to 25MPH to drop me off at school, so I'm no stranger to bailing out of moving vehicles. Just not at Mach 2. That's crazy talk. Now don't get me wrong, I would still do it. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A DANG.

Movie producers paid two Sukhoi Su-35 pilots to fly without a canopy at Mach 2.0, and have one of them eject in what probably is one of the most dangerous stunts ever filmed.

Two words, Russian movie producers: special effects. Just throwing that out there.

Hit the jump for a shot of the remaining pilot flying with no canopy.

Continue Reading " Russian Pilot Ejecting From Plane At Mach 2 "

Jul 10 2009 Time Lapse Video Of Super Hornet Jet Build

This is a time lapse video of a F/A-18 Super Hornet jet being built. And let me just say, wow, that thing must have over 100 different pieces. Making it nearly twice as complicated as the hardest LEGO set I've built.

Constructing A Super Hornet: "A time lapse of the construction of a Super Hornet" [liveleak]

Thanks to Spy, who may or may not have secretly recorded this footage with a bowtie cam.

Jun 22 2009 I Do BLAAAHHH!: First Weightless Wedding

Erin Finnegan and Noah Fulmor got married over the weekend while hovering weightlessly in the back of an airplane. Allegedly it's the first weightless wedding, provided if you don't count the time I married alien in outerspace (read: I was probed, hard).

To recreate the weightless experience without going into space, the plane executed parabolic flight maneuvers, climbing sharply and descending several times during the one-hour flight.

Inside the 90-foot-long padded "floating zone," the ceremony was accomplished with a lot of bumping and fumbling, as bride and groom, guests and witnesses alike tried to coordinate their movements in a microgravity environment.

Nice. And in the famous words of Billy Idol, "It's a nice day for a weightless wedding, it's a nice day to...horf again, BLAAAH!"

Couple Float Into Zero Gravity Nuptials [aolnews]

Thanks to Pat, who once made out with a stewardess to score free peanuts.

May 28 2009 Where Are These Flying Cats Coming From?

China. They all seem to come from China. And let me tell you something: I'm sure as hell not eating the cat food there.

A kitty in Chongqing, China, is getting some extra-special attention these days: The furry feline has developed wings! Though born looking completely normal, once the cat hit the age of 1, he began growing wing-shaped appendages on either side of his spine.

According to the Telegraph's report, scientists believe the appendages developed due to grooming habits, a genetic defect or a hereditary skin condition.

Nice one, scientists. How about you just admit you have no effing clue. That said, I change my mind about not eating Chinese cat food (zing, local Chinese restaurant). I'm gonna grow wings! Climb aboard ladies, I'll take you places no other woman has ever been. The moon! My bedroom. Washed the dinosaur sheets just for you baby. Also, I have a mini-fridge. With snacks.

Cat in China grows a pair of wings [msnbc]

Thanks to Sharkey and Paul, who are holding out for flying dogs like that funky bitch Falcore the Luck Dragon from The Neverending Story.

May 18 2009 Not A Plane: Winged Submarine Is Confused

The Super Falcon isn't a bird at all. OR IS IT?!? No, it's not. It's a submarine with wings. The brainchild of British inventor Graham Hawkes, the sub is capable of diving to depths of 1,500 feet, achieving breakneck speeds of up to six knots (~7MPH or some really kinky bondage), and traveling approximately 25 nautical miles on a battery charge.

Mr Hawkes said: 'After twenty years of prototyping, Super Falcon is our most advanced and elegant submersible yet, encompassing all the innovations we made in introducing underwater flight from the surface to the bottom of the ocean.'

'It is advanced enough to go barrel-rolling with dolphins, spy-hopping with whales or searching for sunken galleons,' Mr Hawkes added.

Oh hell yes -- I want to go barrel rolling with dolphins and have sex with the Loch Ness Monster! Nessie -- NESSIE! She's a relative of the dinosaurs you know. RAWR! Or should I say WUWW!? That's RAWR underwater.

Hit the jump for several more shots of all the fun to be had.

Continue Reading " Not A Plane: Winged Submarine Is Confused "

May 13 2009 I Want: Sweet $100,000 Hoverpack Action

This is some more video of the $100,000 Martin "Jetpack" that will be available later this year. That's right folks, your very own hoverpack for less than you'd pay for a Lamborghini. Almost sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? No, not really. But still, I want one.

...capable of accurate control, and it's said to fly for 30 minutes at 60 mph, and travel a distance of 8000 feet. Still no word on how high it can go, or if it can exceed the altitude where it's boosted by that helpful ground effect. But this is a great improvement over the demos from last year.

Oh hell yes. You know, this jetpack reminds me of the time I jumped off my neighbor's holding a ceiling fan over my head -- but with less flying to the moon and banging martians. They really do have green nipples!

Martin Jetpack refined, available this year [dvice]

May 2 2009 Weed Copter Spots The Pot, Alerts The Cops

The 'Canna Chopper' is an unmanned miniature helicopter fitted with "odor and video detection instruments" that locates your field of (pipe) dreams in the Netherlands and notifies authorities. Needless to say, it's the polar opposite of a ROFLCOPTER.

On its maiden voyage it managed to locate a cannabis farm and officers arrested seven growers and recovered several kilos of the outlawed weed. Now all it needs is a gun attached to its underside and it could make its own arrests.

Robot, kill it. And also, stay the hell away from my basement, nothing to see down there. Smell -- what smell? Well, can't say I didn't warn you. *pew pew*

Dutch 'Canna Chopper' sniffs out cannabis fields from the air [dvice]

Thanks to twellve and Mr. Fancy, who are both smart enough to know that drugs your screw up brain real bad.

Apr 21 2009 Whee: Getting High With The God Of Thunder

A day late (the story of my life), comes an animated gif of Thor getting all high on some beaster-looking weed. It's all good too, since, as you may recall from your Germanic mythology course in college, Thor is Canadian. *thunder rumbling* Eh?

Thanks to Alex, who once got high with Poseidon in an octopus' garden in the shade. Cool.