Nov 19 2009 Snap, Crackle, Pork: Bacon-Flavored Popcorn
Because soon everything will be available pork-flavored, J&D's is selling bacon-flavored popcorn. I assume it's just regular popcorn with their bacon-salt added to the bag, but what do I know? Besides everything because God and I are like this *crossing fingers to show extreme closeness*. $12 gets you three bags. Alternatively, $12 will also net you 40 Glad Tall Kitchen Trashbags (with Odor Shield technology). So, yeah, the choice is yours.
Product Site
via
Bacon Pop [uncrate]
Thanks to Chuey The Rock n Roll Midget and Be My Mannequin, who pop corn and balloons at the fair with equal dexterity.
Nov 15 2009 This Little Piggy Went To The Post Office: Bacon Flavored Envelopes For Meatier Mail
I think we all knew this day would come: Envelopes with bacon-flavored adhesive. Geez, these are almost as clever as my invention: nipple flavored envelopes. Which, I think you and I both know is the closest your tongue will ever come.
J&D's, the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, isn't kidding when they say everything should taste like bacon: They just announced Mmmvelopes, bacon-flavored envelopes. $6.99 for 25 bacon-flavored #10 envelopes, $14.99 for 3 packs of 25...."No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead."
Now I know what you're thinking, "but how do I keep myself from eating them?" THEY'RE PAPER YOU IDIOTS. Yeah I have no idea.
Mmmvelopes: Bacon-Flavored Envelopes from the Makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise [eatmedaily]
Thanks to Mih0, who invented chocolate-flavored envelopes a long time ago but that ruthless cocoa mogul Wonka stole his idea.
Aug 9 2009 Not Surprised: Bacon Flavored Rolling Papers
Seeing how every flavor of rolling paper already seems to exist (I've heard -- I don't know anything about these things in case my mom is reading), it was only a matter of time bong rips before somebody put two and two together and then got the munchies and forgot what they were doing. Then, sometime much later, somebody else created bacon flavored rolling papers. Made by Juicy Jay's, the papers promise a sizzlin' bacon taste and aroma. Interesting. Unfortunately, I only smoke REAL bacon (I swear, mom) and banana peels. I AM THE BBQ WIZ-ARD!
Product Site (must be 19 or older)
Thanks to The Robot Slayer, who got high and thought I was a robot. Well, I'm not. BEEP BOOP BOP. Kidding!
Jun 9 2009 Mountain Dew Is Back With WoW Game Fuel
You may recall a couple years ago when Mountain Dew came out with a special edition Halo-themed soda called Game Fuel. You may also recall It tasting like shit and the Geekologie Writer suing because it made his penis shrink (it was visible before, I swear). Well now they're back with two World of Warcraft inspired game imbibe-ables.
The Horde drink is reddish orange and packed with "a blast of citrus cherry". Nice, guys -- God knows orcs probably love that citrus cherry flavor. The Alliance beverage is blue and "packs a punch of wild fruit flavor". Ironically, so do I. Both drinks are available now and guarantee to be packed with previously unheard of amounts of performance reducing yellow #5. Mmmm.
Thanks to PsychoSane13, who can't make up his mind and probably leaning towards psycho. Also, the red drink.
Jun 1 2009 OM NOM NOM: Pac-Man Candy
Want to pound some turdy looking power pellets? Then buy this $12 set of Pac-man candy and rot your teeth out! Then go to the dentist to get them fixed. But don't forget to bring a hidden camera in case he tries to grope you while you're out.
Our fave classic video game now in edible form! This set of three sweet tins will have ya enjoying Pac-Man's power pellets, blue raspberry ghost sours and cherry ghost sours. Each keepsake tin is approximately 2.5"
Cool. Weed would look cool in those. I would fill one with weed and another one with booze and then swallow them and try to get on airplane. But then when security tries to stop me I'll blast off with my jetpack and probably get a JWI because my booze ghost leaked.
Pac-Man Candy For a Retro Geeky Sugar Fix [uberreview]
Apr 23 2009 Bacon Gummis Actually Strawberry Flavored
Now why on earth would you make Gummi Bacon strawberry flavored? That's like growing bacon-flavored strawberries. Which....holy shit, my genius amazes even me sometimes. I want our top men on this right away.
Gummy Bacon ($5 for a pack of four) is a great way to scare folks. Here's how: take some out of the package when no one is looking, cover them in plastic wrap, and wait in your office kitchen. Then, when folks come in, take a strip out, lament how you just don't have time to cook it, and then eat it anyways! They will be shocked, and you'll enjoy the nice gummy taste of strawberry - it's a win/win situation.
Well I don't know about all that action, but hey, different strokes for different folks. I just happen to be king of the breast. Stroke AND rub. Ladies?
ThinkGeek Product Page
Thanks to Michael, Julian and John, who prefer their gummi bacon actually bacon flavored. Is that too much to ask? No, no it's not.
