Oct 2 2009 Serious Eye Candy: Amazing Photograph Of The World's Tallest Rocket Blasting Off
This is a photo of the world's tallest rocket blasting off for outerspace without me. Damnit, I packed a sack lunch and everything! HOLLER AT YOUR BOY, NASA. Come on -- I'll bring you back an alien corpse!
You're looking at the 253.2-foot Delta 4-Heavy lifting off from launch complex 37B at Cape Canaveral, and yes, that's actually a photograph. Good thing the camera was remotely triggered by photographer Ben Cooper, who used sound activation to snap this shot while he was safely ensconced 3 miles away.We feel sorry for that camera, though, whose lens was destroyed. The good news is, the camera itself somehow survived this hellish inferno as the world's tallest unmanned rocket roared away from its launchpad.
Impressive, huh? We've certainly come a long way since people thought the world was round, am I right? IT'S A D-20 YOU IDIOTS. God loves D&D! Now, gimme a roll for drunkenness, big guy. 19! BLAAAAAAAHH!!
World's tallest rocket roars away, captured in spectacular photo [dvice]
Sep 15 2009 Die, Birds, Diiiiiiiie!: Contra Vs. Duck Hunt
This is a super short video of a Contra commando playing Duck Hunt. And in case you can't watch videos at work, I'll spoil it for you: the ducks lose. But if you want to watch the ducks win, you should watch that youth hockey themed movie starring Emilio Estevez. OMG HE WAS SOOOO HANDSOME!
Thanks to jim, who got the laser rifle and "accidentally" shot that annoying laughing dog.
Aug 31 2009 Fire Hazard: The Wrist Mounted Flamethrower
If you've been reading long enough, you may recall Everett Bradford's Pyro System from early last year. Well now Everett is back with the Pyro System 2.2. Basically, it's a bunch of 3rd degree burns waiting to happen. Ever seen a man melt his own face off before? I have, but only because I was tired of shaving. Suck it, electrolysis!
Thanks to Ethan, Jeff and Matty, who all have flamethrowers mounted on their bikes so you won't follow too close behind. Also, they just look cool.
Aug 25 2009 Don't Smoke It!: Lighter Looks Like Cigarette
This $1.50 lighter from DealExtreme is in form factor of a regular sized cigarette and can set stuff on fire. Including, but limited to: cigarettes, spliffs, joints, hair, your sister's Barbies, cologne, fireworks and witches. I jest, there's no such thing as witches. Isn't that right, sorceress? Also, is it true what they say about a sorceress's nipples -- they can shoot flames?
Cigarette-shaped lighter blends in with its surroundings [dvice]
Aug 2 2009 iPhone Allegedly Catches Fire, Ruins Upholstry
Allegedly some Dutch guy's iPhone spontaneously combusted in his passenger seat when he stepped away from his vehicle to fix a windmill and make a pair of wooden shoes. Per the translation:
Pieter from Leiden had this afternoon, unfortunately the Dutch premiere of his iPhone 3G spontaneously started burning. His iPhone 3G was on the passenger's seat in standby mode and not the charger. By returning to his car came thick black smoke through the door to the outside and the cause was his iPhone 3G in spontaneously fire was flown. Besides a total devastated iPhone 3G Pieter has also considerable damage to his car.
Pieter has direct contact with Apple Netherlands and T-mobile but n och Apple or T-mobile still take some responsibility.
Hey, weirder things have happened. I can't think of any right now but I'm sure they have. Well, there was this one time I parked my car, opened the door, and there was a $10 SITTING RIGHT THERE. Explain that one without aliens. Exactly, you can't.
Hit the jump for two more shots of the damage.
Continue Reading " iPhone Allegedly Catches Fire, Ruins Upholstry "
Jul 21 2009 Guy Huffs Gas, Gets Tasered, Catches Fire
In a tale of spontaneous human combustion, a man who had been huffing gasoline (real Transformers drink it) was tasered by police and went up in a ball of flames. Sweeeeeet.
Police said they were responding to a complaint at a house when (36-year old Ronald) Mitchell ran outside carrying a cigarette lighter and a plastic bottle containing what they believed was fuel.
When he refused to stop running towards them, one officer Tasered him, police said.The man was immediately engulfed in flames, but the officer threw him to the ground and smothered the blaze with his hands, the statement said.
Mitchell was charged with assault to prevent arrest and possession of a sniffing substance.
An 18-year-old woman threw rocks at the officer as he tried to help and he was later treated for a cut on his head and burns to his hands, police said.
Ha, that chick brought rocks to a taser fight, what an idiot. And also, am I gonna get arrested for possession of a sniffing substance for this can of gasoline? Because, sorry coppers, that ain't happening! *glug glug glug glug glug* Transform and 7x7 is 35!
Tasered 'Petrol-Sniffer' Bursts Into Flames [yahoonews]
Thanks to Thumperchica, Justin, Jon, Stephen and Ptentacle, who wanted to roast marshmallows on him.
Apr 16 2009 Bacon Torch Burns Hot, Hot Water Burn Baby
Some guy went and built a thermal lance (cutting torch) that runs on pure oxygen and the fat from bacon (well, prosciutto). As you can see from the picture, the 5,000°F grease-flame is hot enough to burn through a pan, and straight to our hearts. *swoon*
A thermal lance, typically made of iron instead of bacon, is used to cut up scrap metal and rescue people from collapsed buildings. It works by blowing pure oxygen gas through a pipe packed with iron and magnesium rods. These metals are surprisingly flammable in pure oxygen, releasing a huge amount of heat as they are consumed. The result is a jet of superheated iron plasma coming out of the end of the pipe. For sheer destructive force, few tools match a thermal lance. But iron isn't the only thing that's flammable in a stream of pure oxygen.
There's a video after the jump that explains how he made it, but I'm not into following directions so I just glue-sticked a bunch of bacon to grandma's oxygen mask. Here goes nothin'! *FWOOOSH!* Uh-oh, looks like I'm gonna need another grandma. Quick -- to the old folks home before my parents get back!
Hit the jump for an instructional video.
Continue Reading " Bacon Torch Burns Hot, Hot Water Burn Baby "
Jan 6 2009 IT BUUUUUURNS!: Australian Man Dies After Wife Sets His Penis On Fire, Things Go Wrong
That ain't right. You can't just go around setting a man's penis on fire while he's sleeping. I mean, what if he bee-lines it for the curtains?
Rajini Narayan, 44, is alleged to have doused her husband, Satish, with a flammable liquid while he was sleeping. When she set him alight, Mr Narayan jumped out of bed and knocked over the substance, causing the fire to spread.
Prosecutor Lucy Boord said Mrs Narayan had confessed to her neighbours, telling them she was a "jealous wife" and believed her husband was having an affair."I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else, I didn't mean this to happen," Ms Boord quoted Mrs Narayan as saying.
Hooooooooooly shit! Rajini died from the injuries sustained during the penis fire last week. Now I'm not sure how the criminal law works in Australia, but in my neck of the woods this woman would get life in prison -- provided she survive the vagina dynamiting. Think Wile E. Coyote vs. Road Runner, but the Road Runner is a beaver -- and he's packed with explosives.
Hit the jump for the "IT BUUUUUURNS!" lighter trick idiot. If you've never seen it, watch the whole thing.
Dec 8 2008 Gun Booze Dispenser Just Makes Good Sense
Let's face it, guns and booze go together like trebuchets and LSD: they were made for each other. So the $22 Shots Gun Drink Dispenser comes as no surprise. You just jam the topper (complete with holster) on a bottle, pump the pump, and PEW PEW drinks to your hearts content. Load Bacardi 151 or everclear and a lighter and your gun magically transforms into a flamethrower! *PEW PEW* Whee! Oh -- *WHOOOOSH* Haha, my cubicle's on fire. MEDIC!
Shots Gun Drink Dispenser makes you the new Sheriff in town [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Richthegringo, who never drinks without packing heat. And also, Mylanta. The dude drinks some pretty nasty shit.
Jun 23 2008 Fire Footbag: Fiery Hackey Sack Surprisingly Not Endorsed By Your Local Fire Department
The Fire Footbag is pretty much a Hackey Sack made out of Kevlar that you douse with kerosene and then kick around until you've burnt the entire neighborhood down. They're similar to these magic balls (but more kickable), and cost $25.
THIS PRODUCT IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS USE EXTREME CAUTION!
This product is also extremely fun! You will need white gas, kerosene, or 'tiki torch fuel' to light this bag. Tiki torch fuel is does not burn as hot as most other fuels. Do not use gasoline! Use only a small amount and test it first! Overly soaked bags can be EXTREMELY dangerous since excess burning fuel can stick to clothing and/or skin. Keep your fuel source completely away (100 yards minimum) from your kicking area.
Now I'm all about kicking around a flaming turd, but come on -- 100 yard minimum distance from your fuel source? That's a freaking football field. I'm a pretty wild kicker, but I don't think anyone has accidentally womped the hackey that bad. Why not go the extra mile and include a "Do not play with the Fire Footbag in states that sell gasoline" warning. Oh, and it definitely needs a "Only one flaming sack at a time: under no circumstances should you play wearing loose-legged shorts."
Hit the jump for the VIDEO of a guy doing some pretty cool tricks and dropping the thing a bunch.
May 30 2008 Apocalypse Ride: Flame-Throwing Wheelchair
This is a flame-throwing wheelchair built out of a golf car and Marine rescue helicopter seat. It can do 20 MPH and shoot flames up to 15-feet. I need one. You know, for the zombie apocalypse. Unfortunately it's a one of a kind piece built by some guy that goes by Lord Humongous. Wait, huh? Lord Humongous? What in the hell kind of name is that?
Lord Humongous,
Your name is ridiculous. I formally challenge you to a dual. If I win, you must change your name. If you win, I get to bang a fair maiden.
Sincerely,
Gargantuan Dick Dragon
A couple more pictures of the vehicle after the jump.
Continue Reading " Apocalypse Ride: Flame-Throwing Wheelchair "
May 22 2008 DIY Car Mods: Flamethrowing Exhaust Kit
What could possibly be cooler than shooting flames out the exhaust of your car (besides actually being jet powered or having rocket launchers)? Very little. Well now, thanks to the Autoloc Flame Thrower you can toast the hell out of tailgaters like you've always wanted. The $125 kit clips on to your exhaust pipe and ignites any unburnt fuel from the engine. Unfortunately, it only works on vehicles with carburetors. So if you want to use it on a fuel-injected model you're gonna have to run an extra gas line to your tailpipe. And with today's rock-bottom gas prices, you'd be stupid to NOT jump on the flame-throwing exhaust bandwagon.
UPDATE: The bandwagon just caught fire. Somebody -- marshmallows and chocolate, STAT!
Autoloc Flame Thrower for car exhaust [boingboinggadgets]
Apr 29 2008 3,800 HP Jet-Cycle Is A Little Over The Top
Mad Ron Laycock is a man. Mad Ron Laycock is a man who should change his name. Mad Ron Laycock is a man who should change his name and be careful riding a 3,800 HP jet powered deathtrap. That just doesn't look like a good idea. And this is coming from a guy who gets friends to bet him he won't jump out of tall trees. So I know all about bad ideas. Anyway, this bike certainly does bring new meaning to the phrase "crotch rocket", doesn't it? Hrrm, this time that actually made sense. I don't like that. Oh well, good luck with that thing, Mr. Laypipe. Just one last question -- are your balls really steel? Oh damn, plutonium. Well keep those suckers good and polished -- I've heard chicks dig a nice radioactive glow down there.
Another picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " 3,800 HP Jet-Cycle Is A Little Over The Top "
Dec 3 2007 Thor Helmet Is Plastic But Shoots Fire
What you see here is a replica Thor helmet ($550). It's made of plastic but has "copper flame tubes raised above the helmet so that there is no heat transfer from the tubes to the helmet." You hook that sucker up to a little propane tank tucked away in your pants and you're good to go. Use the adjustable valve to set flame height and burst action. Awesome. You can really tell this is a quality helmet. If quality is a function of the helmet's ability to burn your house down.
Several more pictures after the hammer.
Sep 10 2007 Homemade Flame Thrower
Some idiots made a flamethrower out of what looks to be PVC pipe and tape. Then they filmed themselves shooting fireballs out of it and burning a defenseless tree. They also do some stupid stunt driving in their mom's station wagon, and throw a big screen down a flight of stairs. I love fire and explosions as much as the next guy, but these dorks are total unprofessionals. They're pretty much the world's biggest losers, and I think I want to be their friend. If being their friend means locking them all in the back of a U-Haul and driving it into the nearest lake.
The video after the jump.
