Nov 18 2009 You're Gonna Burn In Hell!: Dino Car Decal

Listen, I'm not here to tell you to follow Jesus or smoke buddha or whatever, I'm just here to report the things I see and maybe make a couple drug connections in the process. And this is a 'dinosaur eating the Jesus fish' car decal. Love it or hate it, you've got to admit it's the first time you've ever seen a t-rex holding something with its little arms. And THAT, my friends, is biblical.

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Thanks to Logisticz and martyn, who are pissed dinosaurs didn't make it onto the ark. Me too guys, me too.

Aug 28 2009 Future Farming: Giant Fish-Filled Ocean Balls

According to experts at National Geographic, the future of fish farming (aquaculture) may rely on giant, fish-filled balls floating around in the ocean.

...[A]utomated cages could herald an entirely new form of fish farming.

They might be turned loose to mimic natural systems by following carefully chosen ocean currents. The robotic fish farms could help lead to larger, healthier crops of farmed fish far from crowded coastal areas, where farmed fish both suffer from poor water quality and, by producing waste, add to water woes.

Cages might even generate their own electricity by harnessing solar energy, wave energy, or other forms of renewable power.

This reminds me of middle school. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? You are if you answered "cafeteria fish sticks"! Loved those sticks. One time I even had a fish rock! I chipped a tooth and lost it in my corn. Chocolate milk, whee!!!

The Future of Fish Farming Is Giant Autonomous Roaming Robotic Cages [eatmedaily]

Thanks to Resa, who fishes the old fashioned way: with her bare hands (and dynamite).

May 28 2009 Frickin' Huge!: Full-Size Blue Whale Website

This full-sized blue whale website comes to us from the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society that urges everyone to "EAT MOR CHIKIN". Kidding, those are the Chick-Fil-A cows. Damn, now I want a sandwich. Ladies? Anyway, the website was designed to give the average computer user a sense of awe for just how large the sandwich you better be making me should be. Crazy, huh? Those whales are huuuuuuge. And as a guy whose had his fair share of BBW lovers: motion of the ocean, baby. I don't even know what that means, but I just bought a sailboat!

Website

Thanks to Shelby, who is a special f/x artist and could make even me look cool. On fire. While exploding. Riding a shark.

Apr 29 2009 About Time: Anti-Robot Denny's Commercial

Truthfully, I rarely go to Denny's because I prefer IHOP's Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity combo (two eggs, two bacon strips, two pork sausage links and two buttermilk pancakes crowned with cool strawberry or your choice of fruit compote and whipped topping). But I may make a change after seeing this commercial, which highlights the importance of eating a hearty breakfast in the fight against machines. You can't go fighting those robotic bastards on an empty stomach -- they'll gut you like a fish! The Grand Slamwich from Denny's: it's what John Connor would do.

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Thanks to Scurls, who knows a Carnation Instant Breakfast just won't cut it.

Mar 20 2009 Okay: Robo-Fish To Detect Ocean Pollution

This robotic fish, which looks like it was made out of precious jewels, isn't, but was actually created to detect pollutants in the earth's oceans.

The 1.5 meter long robotic fish each requires about $30,000 to make. Their purpose is to head out into the open water, take in data about water pollutants, return to a charging station about every 8 hours and while charging, submit data about water quality.

The issues with this first batch of fish is pretty clear - they're way too expensive to be made in numbers big enough to be very helpful; their charge lasts just 8 hours so they aren't able to have a very large range away from their charging stations; they run a pretty good risk of getting a bite taken out of them.

$30,000? Jesus. For half the cost of a single fish I'll rent a paddle boat and troll the underwater sensors myself. I swear, these idiotic scientists think a robot is the solution to every freaking problem. Which leads me to my next question -- how much do you think a robotic fish would fetch on eBay? Wow, really? Grab your tacklebox and meet me by the dinghy!

Video of the very life-like swimming fish after the jump.

Continue Reading " Okay: Robo-Fish To Detect Ocean Pollution "

Mar 19 2009 WTF Was That?: 'Put It On A Hook' A Rap Video Featuring Mario, Link And Mega Man

NOTE: VIDEO IS PROBABLY NSFW DUE TO LANGUAGE

I have no idea what I just watched but it had Mario, Link, and Megaman standing around drinking beer, taking bong hits and fishing. Which makes it the coolest thing I've seen all day not.*

*BBW holding 'I Heart Geekologie Sign' excluded.

Put it on a hook - A rap video (featuring mario, link and megaman) by Inhumans [funnyordie]

Thanks again to Julian, who once caught a great white by dangling his hammerhead in the water. HIYO!

Mar 3 2009 Cool!: Albino Dolphin Spotted In The Wild

A pink bottlenose dolphin was spotted swimming in Lake Calcasieu in Louisiana. It is believed to be the only of its kind.

'The mammal is entirely pink from tip to tail and has reddish eyes indicating it's albinism. The skin appears smooth, glossy pink and without flaws. I have spotted it about 40 to 50 times in the time since the original sighting as it has apparently taken up residence with its family in the Calcasieu Ship Channel.

'As time has passed he has grown and sometimes ventures away from its mother to feed and play but always remains in the vicinity of the pod.

'Surprisingly, it does not appear to be drastically affected by the environment or sunlight as might be expected considering its condition, although it tends to remain below the surface a little more than the others in the pod.'

ZOMG, how cute! And by cute I mean pink. I LOVE PINK DOLPHINS! Look, I just drew one and slid it into the cover of my Trapper Keeper. What can I say, I'm sensitive. And also, hungry. Did somebody say sushi? My stomach did! And also, "the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected". Shit, I ate my phone!

Hit the jump for two more of the magical beast.

Continue Reading " Cool!: Albino Dolphin Spotted In The Wild "

Feb 25 2009 Woman Gets Custom Mermaid Tail Prosthetic

A New Zealand woman has had a custom mermaid tail prosthetic made for her by Weta Workshop (special effects studio responsible for Lord Of The Rings, etc.). Nadya Vessey lost both of her legs below the knee as the result of a medical condition when she was young.

Ms Vessey told a little boy: "I'm a little mermaid" when he asked what happened to her legs and the idea stuck.

Weta costumer Lee Williams, who worked on the suit between film projects with seven other staff, told Close Up she "wanted [Nadya] to be beautiful and sexy".

After seeing Ms Vessey test the tail in Kilbirnie pool then frolic in the harbour, Ms Williams was stoked. "It was absolutely amazing. It's beautiful to watch Nadya swim and to see that dream come true and to be a part of that. I feel quite blessed."

Beautiful. That's beautiful, isn't it? You think she can still make love with the tail on? Because if so, I'm interested. And also, in the market for a snorkel.

Continue Reading " Woman Gets Custom Mermaid Tail Prosthetic "

Feb 24 2009 I See Your Brain: Fish Has See-Through Head

The barreleye (Macropinna microstoma for you ichthyologists) is a deepwater fish that has a see-through, fluid filled head in which it moves its eyeballs. And that, dear reader, is freaking awesome.

Barreleyes, just a few inches long, are thought to eat small fishes and jellyfish. The green pigments in their eyes may filter out sunlight coming directly from the sea surface, helping the barreleye spot the bioluminescent glow of jellies or other animals directly overhead. When it spots prey (such as a drifting jelly), a barreleye rotates its eyes forward and swims upward, in feeding mode.

What a freak! Reminds me of a girl I used to date that had a wandering eye. My God that turned me on. When she was looking at you it was like she was looking through you. Well, with her good eye anyways, the other was always wandering over your shoulder. Damn I miss that eye.

Strange Fish Has See-Through Head [aolnews]

Thanks to Pat, who has eyes in the back of his head that he can't use because he needs a haircut.

Feb 22 2009 Roll One Up, America: Obama Sushi Rolls

These are apparently sushi rolls made to look like US president Barack Obama. I think I speak for all of us when I say: the president has never tasted so good. Haha, shut up Monica -- your opinion doesn't count! HIYO.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures including one of a massive Obama sushi display.

Continue Reading " Roll One Up, America: Obama Sushi Rolls "

Nov 10 2008 Why Am I Not Surprised?: An R2-D2 Aquarium

He's been steampunkified, LEGOfied, made into cakes, a fridge, a USB hub, a home theater system, a trashcan (surprise, surprise), a computer case, and even a beanie, and now, in his latest incarnation, it's R2-D2 as an aquarium. The $129 aquatic habitat is sold by Hammacher Schlemmer and has a 1.75-gallon capacity. "R2's eye-piece even works as a periscope so you can get an up close look at your little buddies while they meander around." Then, you can eat them. Mmmm, fish sticks!

R2-D2 aquarium [crunchgear]

Thanks to Hunter, who had a birthday last week and is finally old enough to legally kick ass.

Oct 15 2008 Virgin Shark Produced Shark Kitten

A female blacktip shark at the Virginia Aquarium & Marione Science Center recently passed away, and, upon necropsy, was discovered to be with shark puppy -- despite no male sharks being present for 8 years!

Virgin birth has been proven in some bony fish, amphibians, reptiles and birds, and has been suspected among sharks in the wild. The scientists who studied the Virginia and Nebraska sharks said the newly formed pups acquired one set of chromosomes when the mother's chromosomes split during egg development, then united anew.

Absent the chromosomes present in the male sperm, the offspring of an asexual conception have reduced genetic diversity and, the scientists said, may be at a disadvantage for surviving in the wild. A pup, for instance, can be more susceptible to congenital disorders and diseases.

Proof positive that when a woman wants to get pregnant -- no matter how often you dunk your balls in hot coffee -- she's gonna do it.

Scientists confirm shark's 'virgin birth' [msnbc]

Thanks to Heather and Abe, who both claim there was a dinosaur in Jurassic park that did the same thing. But they're wrong -- it was me!

Oct 2 2008 $4,700 Sink Has Built In Aquarium

Let's face it, fish are awesome. And delicious. Well now you can pee in the sink and watch the scrumptious little buggers swim in circles at the same time. This sink makes a perfect compliment to the aquarium shitter, and all for only $4,700. It's like a dream come true, minus the dream, plus $4,700.

Moody Aquarium Sink makes for moody fish [slipperybrick]

Thanks to Silver Sided, who once ate ten dozen fish sticks in a single sitting.

Sep 17 2008 Under The Sea: Fish 'N Flush Toilet Aquarium

The Fish 'N Flush is a 2.5 gallon aquarium that replaces your regular ceramic tank. It consists of two pieces: the actual fill tank, and the aquarium, which surrounds the fill tank for the "fish in your toilet" effect. It costs $300 and is great for pocket fishermen and people who can't keep pet fish alive (comes conveniently located atop a fish cemetery). But for the love of God, DO NOT sell one to this kid, that's just asking for it. I want one though. The only problem is you don't get to enjoy the aquarium while you're sitting on the john. Unless...

UPDATE: You ever tried straddling a toilet? I shat on the floor!

Two more pictures and a video of the flushing in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Under The Sea: Fish 'N Flush Toilet Aquarium "

Sep 8 2008 Epic Fail: How Not To Clean Your Fishtank

I know what you're thinking, "is that a video still of a fish in some kid's bladder?" And the answer, dear reader, is yes, yes it is.

The patient, who was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period, gave an interesting explanation.

Details of the case, which was documented in The Internet Journal of Urology, have revealed that the patient claimed that the fish "slipped" into his penis while he was maintaining his aquarium.

"While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.

Riiiight. So the kid was holding a fish in his hand while pissing and it, like the noble salmon, swam up his urine stream and into the pecker. Sounds fishy if you ask me. Just admit it kid, you're a freak. And also, you should be banned from the pet store.

Boy in bizarre 'fish in penis' accident [practicalfishkeeping]

Thanks to Jennifer, who has a friend that had a similar accident with a turtle.

Aug 26 2008 Move Over, Robot: Goblin Shark Is Scarier

Goblin sharks look scary as hell and are scary as hell. Sure they're only a couple feet long, but they're uglier than my sister and have tons of sharp little teeth. Watch the video around 0:20 to see how it's mouth comes out of its face Aliens style to munch on dude's arm. Also, a friend told me that's what a woman's vagina looks like.

Japanese Goblin Shark [collegehumor]

Thanks to Libby, who once punched a goblin shark in the mouth because it looked at her funny.

Jul 25 2008 Man Jumps From Helicopter, Catches Marlin

This is a video of a guy helicopter fishing, or heli-fishing, or jumping out of a helicopter onto a Marlin if you're not into the whole brevity thing. Allegedly it's real, but there were a couple things that made be believe otherwise. Like the guy filming in the water is already right freaking there (I think he tranquilized the fish), and jumping onto something with a spear-nose seems dangerous. Nevermind, people are always doing stupid, dangerous shit. So I guess that makes it real. I'm trying it.

UPDATE: Turns out I don't live near the ocean, gonna have to improvise. Oh oh -- got it!

UPDATE UPDATE: Okay, I jumped off the top of the bedpost onto a whale and finally caught it. Not the whale, herpes.

Have a great weekend everyone, XOXO.

Mad Aussie Guy Catches a Marlin from Helicopter [gizmodo]

Jul 23 2008 RC Fishing Boat Does The Work For You

Ha, did my boss just catch me playing Solomon's Key on FireNes (note: version 1.1 is out so it may work now for those of you that were having problems) when I was supposed to be making a spreadsheet? Yes, yes he did. Anyway, some Japanese company is selling an RC fishing boat called KAMOME. It does all the work for you, so it's not even like you're fishing anymore, it's like you're driving an RC fishing boat. The 24 pound boat comes with a sonar system for spotting fish, GPS capabilities, and can catch fish up to about 4.5 pounds. The radio controller has a 5" LCD that displays the sonar and other ship data and has a range of about 1/3 of a mile. Unfortunately the damn thing costs over $5,000. So now instead of boring your friends with the story about "the one that got away", you can tell them the one about the Geekologie Writer sinking your $5,000 RC fishing boat.

JAPAN: Radio Controlled Fishing Boat [hobbymedia]

Thanks Francesco, now lets torpedo that sucker, just for the halibut.

Jul 22 2008 For The Geekologie Ladies: Fishy Pedicures

First, there was the 24K gold facial, and now, fish pedicures. Apparently they're really taking off in the Washington D.C. area and women are flocking to the Yvonne Hair and Nails Salon to let Garra rufa "doctor fish" carp eat the dead skin and calluses from their feet. I can almost guarantee those little guys would go belly up if I stuck my boats in the tank, but maybe these women take better care of their feet than I do.

Ho (the salon owner) said the hot water in which the fish thrive doesn't support much plant or aquatic life, so they learned to feed on whatever food sources were available _ including dead, flaking skin. They leave live skin alone because, without teeth, they can't bite it off.

Ho believes his is the only salon in the country to offer the treatment, which costs $35 for 15 minutes and $50 for 30 minutes. The spa has more than 1,000 fish, with about 100 in each individual pedicure tank at any given time.

Wow, $50 to set your feet in a fishtank for 30 minutes? What's the world coming to? I mean, besides a robot apocalypse? I'll tell you what, you come over to my place and I'll let you set your feet in my fishtank for $25. Of course, you only get 10 minutes. But trust me -- the piranhas are far more efficient than a bunch of crappy carp. Seriously, 30 minutes and they'd be down to the bone. I've also got a snapping turtle if you want your nails done.

UPDATE: The grizzly should be ready to cut hair by August, call for an appointment.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, including a really worthwhile one of three MILFs with their feet in the tank.

Continue Reading " For The Geekologie Ladies: Fishy Pedicures "

Jul 8 2008 Dolphin Submarine/Boat Thing Could Be Fun

The Innerspace Dolphin and Seabreacher and water vessels designed to look and behave like actual dolphins. They're powered by a little engine in the back and you can do all sorts of fun stuff like barrel rolls, jumps, dives and drownings. I want one pretty bad. The Seabreacher just became available for sale this spring, unfortunately I couldn't find a price. Allegedly the smaller Dolphin model went for around $50,000, but I couldn't find any verification of this figure. Anybody know? Also, do you think they'll come out with a Dolphinbreacher model in the future? Because that's what I really see myself doing. Besides, I've already had sex with a porpoise. The porpoise was to get my girlfriend pregnant so she wouldn't leave me! HAH AHA HA HAH AH !! She left anyways. Hated puns.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, a commercial of the thing in action, and a link to the website if you want to buy one.

Continue Reading " Dolphin Submarine/Boat Thing Could Be Fun "