Oct 18 2009 Beautiful Tragedy: Burning City Firescreens
This is a firescreen that makes it appear as though London is burning in your fireplace. There's one of Rome too, after the jump. BURN!!
It's been a long time since fire ravaged London and Rome in 1666 and 64 AD respectively--which must be why we can feel okay about making cool firescreens based on these tragic incidents today.
Very clever. Of course, I want a custom one with a bunch of mangled robot corpses in the back and me riding a dino in the foreground. Just like how it happens in the future. Don't believe me? Then where did this passage come from:
And on the seventh day, while God was resting, man foolishly invented robots. Man, being the idiot moron that he is, said, "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it", and they did. Then God woke up and saw the metallic shitstorm down below and sent the Geekologie Writer to whip their robotic monkey asses atop his wicked dino-mount. Plus laserbeams.
This is the word of the Geekologie Writer. Amen Pew pew.
Hit the jump for Rome burning.
Continue Reading " Beautiful Tragedy: Burning City Firescreens "
Aug 10 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Fireplace In A Tool Chest
The 'Mall Fire' by Ataria is a $5,400 tool chest (sans tools) that turns into a romantic ethanol fireplace whenever opened. Well, as romantic as a fireplace in a tool chest can be anyways. Which is very. And also why I just had one mounted in the bed of my truck. What do you say I spread a tarp back there and we make ourselves a little pool? Me, you, a box of wine and a pool with a fireplace. I'm sorry, am I being too romantic? Because I can't help myself. Bathing suits optional. For you. Me? I'm a nevernude.
There's Nothing Dangerous About a Fireplace in a Chest [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who knows a romantic evening when he hears one (nuclear hot wings and a titty bar).
Jan 2 2009 Wood + WALL-E = WOOD-E, Hiyo!
This is WALL-E made out of wood. It was very well constructed.
Disney commissioned UK-based sculptors and a group called Morpheus Prototypes to build this wooden sculpture of Wall-E as a gift for Pixar/Disney Chief Creative Officer John Lasseter.
Impressive, but I could have made the same thing out of a bunch of popsicle sticks and some wood glue. Unfortunately, mommy says I'm not allowed to use the glue anymore because I fed some to my turtle and now he's different. Slower. And he was already slow to begin with! ZING!
Hit the jump for a closeup of a tread.
Dec 2 2008 Mystical Fire Powder Turns Your Fire Different Colors, Is Probably Mad Carcinogenic
$2.29 will get you a 25 gram sachet of Mystical Fire Powder. What is Mystical Fire Powder? It's powder. That you toss in the fire. To make it all mystical and shit. Sorcery yo, sorcery. The stuff makes your fire burn with all sorts of crazy colors and will stunt your growth if you eat too much of it. But it's so good! If you're a cheapskate and don't want to drop a whole nine quarters and four Canadian pennies on the powder, I'll tell you what else makes fires turn cool colors: burning witches! And remember: a woman is every bit the witch you accuse her of being. Accuse often. Yelling helps. Also, brandishing a pitchfork and getting the townspeople riled up.
One more of a sweet blue flame after the ja-ja-ja-jump.
May 1 2008 Company Specializes In Secret Passages
Creative Home Engineering is a firm that specializes in build secret passageways into your house. Which is pretty much the awesomest thing I've ever heard (besides hearing that American Gladiators was coming back, but before I saw one and realized it was a disaster). They make everything from the stairs you see here, to bookshelf doors and rotating fireplaces. Prices range from $5,000 to $250,000 depending on how ridiculous you want to get. You know, growing up I lived in a house with a little secret passage. It was in the upstairs hallway. I was always afraid to see where it led but one day I went for it and climbed in. I fell two stories into a hamper by the washing machine. It was awesome.
Several more hidden passageway pictures, and a link to the company's gallery, after the jump.
Dec 11 2007 Newspaper Brick Maker Starts Fires
If you have a fireplace and can't get a good blaze going (you're a little girl), maybe you should consider the Newspaper Brick Maker. It costs $30 and turns old newspapers into firestarting bricks of goodness. It might make you feel better than you would if you just threw old newspapers away without recycling them. I must say, I received one as an early Christmas gift from my girlfriend and it works great -- as a meatloaf mold. The idiot failed to notice the house we've lived in for two years doesn't have a fireplace.
Note: It's almost time to start accepting new girlfriend applications again. I'm just waiting to see the look on her face when she opens her Christmas present -- a set of keys to a sports car that doesn't exist. After that I'm dropping her.
Fireplace Brick Maker [ubergizmo]
Jul 19 2007 Ponton Fireplace
The Ponton fireplace is described by the designer as "the urban interpretation of a campfire." It's designed by Wolf Udo Wagner and uses fire resistant glass, stainless steel, and burns bioalcohol. There's no price listed, but this thing is gorgeous. Some might say almost as gorgeous as me. But those people would be crazy.
