Oct 18 2009 Beautiful Tragedy: Burning City Firescreens
This is a firescreen that makes it appear as though London is burning in your fireplace. There's one of Rome too, after the jump. BURN!!
It's been a long time since fire ravaged London and Rome in 1666 and 64 AD respectively--which must be why we can feel okay about making cool firescreens based on these tragic incidents today.
Very clever. Of course, I want a custom one with a bunch of mangled robot corpses in the back and me riding a dino in the foreground. Just like how it happens in the future. Don't believe me? Then where did this passage come from:
And on the seventh day, while God was resting, man foolishly invented robots. Man, being the idiot moron that he is, said, "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it", and they did. Then God woke up and saw the metallic shitstorm down below and sent the Geekologie Writer to whip their robotic monkey asses atop his wicked dino-mount. Plus laserbeams.
This is the word of the Geekologie Writer. Amen Pew pew.
Hit the jump for Rome burning.
Continue Reading " Beautiful Tragedy: Burning City Firescreens "
Oct 8 2009 Wow, That Was Sad: Tree Electrocutes Itself
This is a video of a tree which, unable to cope with the unruly birds and squirrels that have taken up residence in its branches, has decided to off itself with the help of a nearby power line. It's almost as painful to watch as your apartment building going up in flames because you were trying to grow pot in your closet. Almost. NOT THAT I'D KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. Pfft, I went to D.A.R.E.!
Tree Electrocutes Self [collegehumor]
Thanks to NUTZBABIE, who I would probably steer clear of.
Oct 5 2009 Wow: Plane-Mounted Laser Burning A Truck
This is a short video of Boeing and the Air Force testing a plane-mounted laser's ability to burn the everliving shit out of a stationary object during a flyby. Mission accomplished!
This video shows the effect of the high-energy laser beam from the Boeing Advanced Tactical Laser (ATL), fired at a stationary truck from a US Air Force NC-130H (Hercules) flying over White Sands Missile Range, New Mexico, on August 30, 2009. The ATL is a chemical oxygen iodine laser (COIL), and is a scaled-down version of the megawatt-class high-energy laser in the Boeing YAL-1 Airborne Laser (ABL).
Did that say scaled down? Because this thing was powerful enough to set a truck's hood on fire from who knows how far away. Now imagine the much more powerful megawatt laser pointed at your face. You'll have to wear glasses after that for sure!
Thanks to Zach, who has one of these lasers mounted on his arm to heat frozen burritos. Good lookin', Zach, love those things.
Sep 17 2009 How To Light A Grill With Liquid Oxygen
First of all, I'm not convinced liquid oxygen is real because, if it is, why can't I breath underwater? I want a merman, damnit. But if it is real, this is a video of Theo Gray lighting a charcoal grill with the stuff. Apparently it's dangerous, but I find it hard to believe. I mean, it's just a liquid. Jesus, it's not like I just ate and wanna go swimming in the stuff.
Lighting a Grill with Liquid Oxygen Is the Opposite of Safe [gizmodo]
Thanks to Van, who may or may not house a real husky bastard down by the river.
Sep 11 2009 9/11: The World Trade Center From Space
This is a picture of the World Trade Center after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, taken by current commander of the International Space Station at the time, Frank Culbertson. Damn, has it really been eight years? Remember.
The World Trade Center Terrorist Attack from Space [gizmodo]
Sep 1 2009 Volcano-y: Time Lapse Footage Of LA Wildfires
This is some time lapse footage of the LA wildfires as shot by photographer Brandon Riza. As you will see, they are super smokey. And not smokey like "and the bandit" either. Like fire-smokey. And where there's smoke there's....say -- mind if I hit that? Fun fact: Smokey the Bear secretly gets high BUT WILL ONLY USE A VAPORIZER.
Brandon Riza
via
Amazing, and scary, timelapse footage of the Los Angeles Station fire [agentmlovestacos]
Sep 1 2009 I LIKE BIG LETTERS: WOMAN FIRED FOR USING CAPS IN A COMPANY EMAIL
Yelling, as you may well know, is a great way to get your point across. And capitalization is yelling's written equivalent. Don't believe me? LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!
An accountant in NZ has been awarded $17,000 NZD for unfair dismissal after her boss fired her without warning for using uppercase letters in a single email to co-workers. The email, which advises her team how to fill out staff claim forms, specifies a time and date highlighted in bold red, and a sentence written in capitals and highlighted in bold blue. It reads: 'To ensure your staff claim is processed and paid, please do follow the below checklist.' Her boss deemed the capital letters too confrontational for her co-workers to read after they woke up from naptime.
I love capital letters. I don't want to marry them or anything, but I would go out on a couple dates and maybe slip a big W the tongue. Don't judge me -- I'LL TELL EVERYONE YOU BANG NUMBERS AND SYMBOLS!
Woman Fired For Using Uppercase In Email [slashdot]
Thanks to Jen, who once popped a caps lock in some bitch's ass for frontin'.
Aug 31 2009 Fire Hazard: The Wrist Mounted Flamethrower
If you've been reading long enough, you may recall Everett Bradford's Pyro System from early last year. Well now Everett is back with the Pyro System 2.2. Basically, it's a bunch of 3rd degree burns waiting to happen. Ever seen a man melt his own face off before? I have, but only because I was tired of shaving. Suck it, electrolysis!
Thanks to Ethan, Jeff and Matty, who all have flamethrowers mounted on their bikes so you won't follow too close behind. Also, they just look cool.
Aug 25 2009 Don't Smoke It!: Lighter Looks Like Cigarette
This $1.50 lighter from DealExtreme is in form factor of a regular sized cigarette and can set stuff on fire. Including, but limited to: cigarettes, spliffs, joints, hair, your sister's Barbies, cologne, fireworks and witches. I jest, there's no such thing as witches. Isn't that right, sorceress? Also, is it true what they say about a sorceress's nipples -- they can shoot flames?
Cigarette-shaped lighter blends in with its surroundings [dvice]
Aug 2 2009 iPhone Allegedly Catches Fire, Ruins Upholstry
Allegedly some Dutch guy's iPhone spontaneously combusted in his passenger seat when he stepped away from his vehicle to fix a windmill and make a pair of wooden shoes. Per the translation:
Pieter from Leiden had this afternoon, unfortunately the Dutch premiere of his iPhone 3G spontaneously started burning. His iPhone 3G was on the passenger's seat in standby mode and not the charger. By returning to his car came thick black smoke through the door to the outside and the cause was his iPhone 3G in spontaneously fire was flown. Besides a total devastated iPhone 3G Pieter has also considerable damage to his car.
Pieter has direct contact with Apple Netherlands and T-mobile but n och Apple or T-mobile still take some responsibility.
Hey, weirder things have happened. I can't think of any right now but I'm sure they have. Well, there was this one time I parked my car, opened the door, and there was a $10 SITTING RIGHT THERE. Explain that one without aliens. Exactly, you can't.
Hit the jump for two more shots of the damage.
Continue Reading " iPhone Allegedly Catches Fire, Ruins Upholstry "
Jul 27 2009 Fire Eater: 30th Anniversary Pac-Man Zippos
Let's face it, Pac-Man and fire go together like virtually anything else and fire: perfectly. And even if you gave up the rock years ago, there's still other stuff to light to light, am I right? Of course I am. Enter these 30th anniversary Pac-Man lighters. Available in three different styles, they'll be available this November for an undisclosed sum of amount. So start saving. In the meantime, start your fires the old fashioned way: by making napalm out of gasoline and Styrofoam AND LIGHTING IT WITH A BULLET. I was a Boyscout, I learned things.
Hit the jump for a close-up of the model that looks like the game screen.
Continue Reading " Fire Eater: 30th Anniversary Pac-Man Zippos "
Jul 17 2009 Cell Phone Lighter: For All Your Cancer Needs
The SB6309 Lighter Phone isn't just the best named cellphone ever, it's also the first with a functional cigarette lighter. Brain AND lung cancers in one fell swoop! But seriously, mind if I do a J?
instruction
SB6309 The world's first mobile phone with lighter!
Patent product Gold cigarette lighter
Defend wind,
No gas,
Never blew out
Suit for high altitude areas
Well technically, those weren't instructions. They were, however, convincing. That's right -- you're looking at the first U.S. authorized dealer! Haha, now my garage is on fire.
Lighter phone may be the most dangerous cellphone ever [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who once went to a strip club where the strippers dipped their nipples in wax and you were allowed to light your cigarettes off them.
Jul 3 2009 Happy 4th Of July Weekend! *BOOM BOOM*
Dearest Reader,
Those were fireworks at the end of the title in case you couldn't tell. *BOOM BOOM* Oh, there went some more! Anyway, this is an incredible *BOOM* cute stop motion video from PES, whose work is always amazing. Now, everyone get out there and have a safe and firework-y holiday. And if my next post doesn't make any sense -- I'm typing with stumps. WHEE!
Love,
Your Geekologie Writer
Thanks to Towhee Monster, who's a little firecracker herself.
Jul 2 2009 I'd Live There: Amazing Papercraft Castle
This is a castle made entirely of paper. And I think we can all agree: it's pretty much the big bad wolf's wet dream-home.
I had the immense opportunity to see this wonderful paper craft art installation by a genius of the name of Wataru Itou, a young student of a major art university here in Tokyo. The installation is hand made over four years of hard work, complete with electrical lights and a moving train, all made of paper!
Normally when I see something this all I can think about is wanting to burn it. But not in this case, it's just too beautiful. Huh? What do you mean what's behind my back? Oh, these? Just some fireworks.
Hit the jump for a couple more, then the link for a bunch of nicer high-res joints.
Continue Reading " I'd Live There: Amazing Papercraft Castle "
Jun 16 2009 The Plug Wall: Enough Holes For Anybody
The conceptual Outlet Wall by Ironic Sans is by far the most smartest thing I've seen in awhile. I mean, it's a wallmade of outlets. Plenty of room for everything. Just don't show this little power-hungry bastard or he'll be humping it for days. And you know what? So what if it doesn't meet fire code, those are just rules the man designed TO KEEP US DOWN. This is my apartment, I should be able to barbecue in here if I want, you know? Damn yeah. Now pass the weenies and throw some more books on the fire.
Outlet Wall Doesn't Want to Hear One More Word About Power Strips [gizmodo]
Apr 21 2009 How To Mount A Tire Using Starter Fluid
This isn't a new concept so you may have already seen it done. And if you have, congratulations, you just won a Geekologie t-shirt. Just leave an 'OLD!' message and your home address in the comments and I'll open a checking account in your name get that right out. For the rest of you, this a video showing how to mount a tire on a rim using starter fluid. And according to my calculations, it has the perfect fire:danger ratio to make it worth trying yourself. But remember: there's no such thing as too much lighter fluid. Or, place like home. *click click click* Wow, forgot how much I hate it here.
Flickr (different video)
and
Youtube
Thanks to Michael, who once rotated Optimus Prime's tires in exchange for a ride.
Apr 16 2009 Bacon Torch Burns Hot, Hot Water Burn Baby
Some guy went and built a thermal lance (cutting torch) that runs on pure oxygen and the fat from bacon (well, prosciutto). As you can see from the picture, the 5,000°F grease-flame is hot enough to burn through a pan, and straight to our hearts. *swoon*
A thermal lance, typically made of iron instead of bacon, is used to cut up scrap metal and rescue people from collapsed buildings. It works by blowing pure oxygen gas through a pipe packed with iron and magnesium rods. These metals are surprisingly flammable in pure oxygen, releasing a huge amount of heat as they are consumed. The result is a jet of superheated iron plasma coming out of the end of the pipe. For sheer destructive force, few tools match a thermal lance. But iron isn't the only thing that's flammable in a stream of pure oxygen.
There's a video after the jump that explains how he made it, but I'm not into following directions so I just glue-sticked a bunch of bacon to grandma's oxygen mask. Here goes nothin'! *FWOOOSH!* Uh-oh, looks like I'm gonna need another grandma. Quick -- to the old folks home before my parents get back!
Hit the jump for an instructional video.
Continue Reading " Bacon Torch Burns Hot, Hot Water Burn Baby "
Apr 13 2009 Asleep At The Keyboard: Candle 1, Laptop 0
Dripping candle is dripping. But seriously, I've been looking for a way to spice up the ol' love life, and my hand doesn't go numb anymore. So I've been thinking about ordering a hooker. I guess what I'm getting at is this: as a natural-born pyromaniac, is bring a flame into the bedroom safe? And, if so, what do you guys recommend?
UPDATE: Hello, 911? YEAH -- THERE IS A HOOKER ON FIRE IN MY APARTMENT! My name? My name is *click*
Candle Fail [failblog]
via
In a Fight Between Candle and Laptop, Candle Usually Wins [gizmodo]
Apr 2 2009 Who Called It?: Fire-Breathing Robo-Baby Of Death Unleashed Upon The World
When I'm right, I'm right. And I was right. This is what death looks like.
Sculptor Kenji Yanobe's Giant Torayan robot, a 7.2-meter (24-ft) tall mechanical baby that sings, dances and spits fire, was sighted in Tokyo's Roppongi district last night. The fire-breathing robot spent the night on center stage at "Roppongi Art Night," an all-night event featuring installations and performances by dozens of artists at various venues in the area.
Well folks, it's been fun. *guzzling booze and Amoxicillin*
UPDATE: Am I dead? My tummy hurts.
Hit the jump for a bunch more of the last thing you'll ever see.
Continue Reading " Who Called It?: Fire-Breathing Robo-Baby Of Death Unleashed Upon The World "
Mar 31 2009 Puff Puff Pass: USB Smokeless Cigarettes
Need a nicotine fix but can't leave your cube? No problem! Puff on a Health E-Cigarette from Thanko! Identical to pretty much ever other electronic cigarette out there, the $30 device "uses a heating element to vaporize a nicotine solution to supposedly give you a purer smoking experience", which is just fancy marketing jargon for, "short-circuit and burn your office to the ground". Trust me folks, I hold a Master's in Marketing. And also, Lovemaking. You see this? You see this move I'm doing right now? Senior thesis, baby.
Thanko's USB-powered Health E-Cigarettes sound healthy [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who once got caught smoking a tampon in the boy's room because some upperclassmen told him it was a cigar.
