Nov 12 2009 Google Streets Spots Fire Truck Hit Old Lady
Honestly, I bet the old lady ran right into the side of the thing (old ladies are notoriously bad bike riders. *ahem* Grandma -- I saw you hit that bus shelter!). There's a before shot after the jump, but unfortunately the above image has since been removed from Google Maps. I smell conspiracy. I mean, it's not like the old lady asked to have have it removed. Old people using computers -- HA! They're better at avoiding fire trucks!
Hit it for the before shot and a link to the action area.
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Sep 1 2009 Volcano-y: Time Lapse Footage Of LA Wildfires
This is some time lapse footage of the LA wildfires as shot by photographer Brandon Riza. As you will see, they are super smokey. And not smokey like "and the bandit" either. Like fire-smokey. And where there's smoke there's....say -- mind if I hit that? Fun fact: Smokey the Bear secretly gets high BUT WILL ONLY USE A VAPORIZER.
Brandon Riza
via
Amazing, and scary, timelapse footage of the Los Angeles Station fire [agentmlovestacos]
Aug 31 2009 Fire Hazard: The Wrist Mounted Flamethrower
If you've been reading long enough, you may recall Everett Bradford's Pyro System from early last year. Well now Everett is back with the Pyro System 2.2. Basically, it's a bunch of 3rd degree burns waiting to happen. Ever seen a man melt his own face off before? I have, but only because I was tired of shaving. Suck it, electrolysis!
Thanks to Ethan, Jeff and Matty, who all have flamethrowers mounted on their bikes so you won't follow too close behind. Also, they just look cool.
Aug 10 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Fireplace In A Tool Chest
The 'Mall Fire' by Ataria is a $5,400 tool chest (sans tools) that turns into a romantic ethanol fireplace whenever opened. Well, as romantic as a fireplace in a tool chest can be anyways. Which is very. And also why I just had one mounted in the bed of my truck. What do you say I spread a tarp back there and we make ourselves a little pool? Me, you, a box of wine and a pool with a fireplace. I'm sorry, am I being too romantic? Because I can't help myself. Bathing suits optional. For you. Me? I'm a nevernude.
There's Nothing Dangerous About a Fireplace in a Chest [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who knows a romantic evening when he hears one (nuclear hot wings and a titty bar).
Aug 2 2009 iPhone Allegedly Catches Fire, Ruins Upholstry
Allegedly some Dutch guy's iPhone spontaneously combusted in his passenger seat when he stepped away from his vehicle to fix a windmill and make a pair of wooden shoes. Per the translation:
Pieter from Leiden had this afternoon, unfortunately the Dutch premiere of his iPhone 3G spontaneously started burning. His iPhone 3G was on the passenger's seat in standby mode and not the charger. By returning to his car came thick black smoke through the door to the outside and the cause was his iPhone 3G in spontaneously fire was flown. Besides a total devastated iPhone 3G Pieter has also considerable damage to his car.
Pieter has direct contact with Apple Netherlands and T-mobile but n och Apple or T-mobile still take some responsibility.
Hey, weirder things have happened. I can't think of any right now but I'm sure they have. Well, there was this one time I parked my car, opened the door, and there was a $10 SITTING RIGHT THERE. Explain that one without aliens. Exactly, you can't.
Hit the jump for two more shots of the damage.
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Jul 21 2009 Guy Huffs Gas, Gets Tasered, Catches Fire
In a tale of spontaneous human combustion, a man who had been huffing gasoline (real Transformers drink it) was tasered by police and went up in a ball of flames. Sweeeeeet.
Police said they were responding to a complaint at a house when (36-year old Ronald) Mitchell ran outside carrying a cigarette lighter and a plastic bottle containing what they believed was fuel.
When he refused to stop running towards them, one officer Tasered him, police said.The man was immediately engulfed in flames, but the officer threw him to the ground and smothered the blaze with his hands, the statement said.
Mitchell was charged with assault to prevent arrest and possession of a sniffing substance.
An 18-year-old woman threw rocks at the officer as he tried to help and he was later treated for a cut on his head and burns to his hands, police said.
Ha, that chick brought rocks to a taser fight, what an idiot. And also, am I gonna get arrested for possession of a sniffing substance for this can of gasoline? Because, sorry coppers, that ain't happening! *glug glug glug glug glug* Transform and 7x7 is 35!
Tasered 'Petrol-Sniffer' Bursts Into Flames [yahoonews]
Thanks to Thumperchica, Justin, Jon, Stephen and Ptentacle, who wanted to roast marshmallows on him.
Jul 17 2009 Cell Phone Lighter: For All Your Cancer Needs
The SB6309 Lighter Phone isn't just the best named cellphone ever, it's also the first with a functional cigarette lighter. Brain AND lung cancers in one fell swoop! But seriously, mind if I do a J?
instruction
SB6309 The world's first mobile phone with lighter!
Patent product Gold cigarette lighter
Defend wind,
No gas,
Never blew out
Suit for high altitude areas
Well technically, those weren't instructions. They were, however, convincing. That's right -- you're looking at the first U.S. authorized dealer! Haha, now my garage is on fire.
Lighter phone may be the most dangerous cellphone ever [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who once went to a strip club where the strippers dipped their nipples in wax and you were allowed to light your cigarettes off them.
Jul 2 2009 I'd Live There: Amazing Papercraft Castle
This is a castle made entirely of paper. And I think we can all agree: it's pretty much the big bad wolf's wet dream-home.
I had the immense opportunity to see this wonderful paper craft art installation by a genius of the name of Wataru Itou, a young student of a major art university here in Tokyo. The installation is hand made over four years of hard work, complete with electrical lights and a moving train, all made of paper!
Normally when I see something this all I can think about is wanting to burn it. But not in this case, it's just too beautiful. Huh? What do you mean what's behind my back? Oh, these? Just some fireworks.
Hit the jump for a couple more, then the link for a bunch of nicer high-res joints.
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Jun 16 2009 The Plug Wall: Enough Holes For Anybody
The conceptual Outlet Wall by Ironic Sans is by far the most smartest thing I've seen in awhile. I mean, it's a wallmade of outlets. Plenty of room for everything. Just don't show this little power-hungry bastard or he'll be humping it for days. And you know what? So what if it doesn't meet fire code, those are just rules the man designed TO KEEP US DOWN. This is my apartment, I should be able to barbecue in here if I want, you know? Damn yeah. Now pass the weenies and throw some more books on the fire.
Outlet Wall Doesn't Want to Hear One More Word About Power Strips [gizmodo]
Apr 16 2009 Bacon Torch Burns Hot, Hot Water Burn Baby
Some guy went and built a thermal lance (cutting torch) that runs on pure oxygen and the fat from bacon (well, prosciutto). As you can see from the picture, the 5,000°F grease-flame is hot enough to burn through a pan, and straight to our hearts. *swoon*
A thermal lance, typically made of iron instead of bacon, is used to cut up scrap metal and rescue people from collapsed buildings. It works by blowing pure oxygen gas through a pipe packed with iron and magnesium rods. These metals are surprisingly flammable in pure oxygen, releasing a huge amount of heat as they are consumed. The result is a jet of superheated iron plasma coming out of the end of the pipe. For sheer destructive force, few tools match a thermal lance. But iron isn't the only thing that's flammable in a stream of pure oxygen.
There's a video after the jump that explains how he made it, but I'm not into following directions so I just glue-sticked a bunch of bacon to grandma's oxygen mask. Here goes nothin'! *FWOOOSH!* Uh-oh, looks like I'm gonna need another grandma. Quick -- to the old folks home before my parents get back!
Hit the jump for an instructional video.
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Apr 2 2009 Who Called It?: Fire-Breathing Robo-Baby Of Death Unleashed Upon The World
When I'm right, I'm right. And I was right. This is what death looks like.
Sculptor Kenji Yanobe's Giant Torayan robot, a 7.2-meter (24-ft) tall mechanical baby that sings, dances and spits fire, was sighted in Tokyo's Roppongi district last night. The fire-breathing robot spent the night on center stage at "Roppongi Art Night," an all-night event featuring installations and performances by dozens of artists at various venues in the area.
Well folks, it's been fun. *guzzling booze and Amoxicillin*
UPDATE: Am I dead? My tummy hurts.
Hit the jump for a bunch more of the last thing you'll ever see.
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Mar 31 2009 Wow: Minas Tirith Recreated In Matchsticks
Minas Tirith, the City of Kings from J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord Of The Rings trilogy is painstakingly being recreated using matchsticks by wood-loving Patrick Acton. The project started in March, 2007, and Patrick expects to be completed by late 2010. Good looking, Pat, say -- mind if I do a j? *whoosh* Oh, uh-oh.
Hit the jump for several more of the progress and a link to Patrick's work-in-progress page.
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