Nov 17 2009
Welcome To The Gun Laser Show: Girl Shows Off Her 'Pew Pew' Tattoos
This is a photo taken by Flickr user Meow Cely of a girl with 'pew pew' tattooed across her fingers. I must admit, I admire her dedication to the pews. You don't see me rocking any pew-y ink (except in THIS post), and I'm one of the the laser blaster's biggest proponents. Funny story: I went to a gun and knife show a few weeks ago and demanded my entrance fee be returned when I found out there weren't any laser guns. Also, I accidentally cut myself with a bowie knife and tried to play it off like I'd been stabbed.
Flickr
via
(Geek) Thug Life!: Pew Pew Tattoo [greatwhitesnark]
Nov 10 2009 How Do You Not Bite Them?: Bacon Nails
Geekologie Reader Melissa has taken it upon herself to paint her fingernails in a different style every day for an entire year and blog about it. Today's theme is bacon, and I'll be the first to admit I would bite every single one of those fingers clean off. And by 'clean off' I mean do you know how hard it is to bite through a finger? Surprisingly easy. Go ahead -- put one in my mouth, I DARE DOUBLE DARE PHYSICAL CHALLENGE you. Here, I'll close my eyes and everything. *zip* Haha, nice try buddy.
Hit the jump for a shot of the other cuticles.
Oct 28 2009 Save The Nails For Me, Clark: Meat Hands
Meat hands are exactly what they sound like unless you thought they were gloves printed to look like your hands without skin, in which case, God you're sick. No, basically they're meatloaf molded in the shape of hands with onion slices for fingernails and arm bone and some melted cheese on a bed of mashed potatoes. Would you eat them? Because I wouldn't. I don't care how much hair you sprinkle on top! Okay, yes I do. No pubes though! Fine, MINIMUM PUBES.
Hit the jump for several closeups of the arguable deliciousness and a link to step-by-step instructions.
Continue Reading " Save The Nails For Me, Clark: Meat Hands "
Sep 24 2009 Remove The Knuckles And The Fingers Will Die: Hardcore Zombie Tattoo
Wait, so does that mean he IS a zombie? Beause it doesn't say '#1 zombie slaya', it just says 'zombie'. Who knows, maybe he didn't have enough fingers for all that. Or brains. Get it? Zombie joke!
Thanks to Emma, who once brained a zombie with a frying pan and didn't even lose the eggs she was cooking. Over-easy, Emma.
Sep 14 2009 Yes, Please!: Pew Pew Laser Cheeze
Youtube (from pictureisunrelated)
Thanks to chris and NumberOneSpatula, who once robbed a bank with cheese sticks. Pretty gutsy, guys. Also, delicious (pass the marinara).
Sep 12 2009 Scratch Meeeeee!: Super Mario Fingernails
This is somebody's false fingernails that photobucket user nailchick27 painted with a Super Mario Bros. 3 theme. As you can see, they're good looking. I can't say for certain I'd date a girl with nails like that (because I wouldn't), but I would let her give me a back scratch. Harder. Go on, harder. HARDER. DO IT TILL YOU SEE RIBS! Now smoke a rack, I'm getting hungry.
Hit the jump for one more shot of the whole set.
Continue Reading " Scratch Meeeeee!: Super Mario Fingernails "
Sep 11 2009 Lookin' Bad: Bluetooth Ringphone Concept
Who the hell would actually want to talk to their hand like in the picture is beyond me (where do I sign up?), but Argentinian design team BCK designed this set of rings to use as a Bluetooth headset handset. Also, anybody else notice how the thumb above the ring was drawn in, and the pinky looks like it was torn off and sewn back on by Dr. Frankenstein? I wish mine looked like that.
The user talks to the hand using the yellow ring that fits halfway down the little finger, and then listens with the pink ring on the thumb.
This is one concept that probably won't catch on, ever. Unless you can make a display to put on the palm. Maybe there is some alternate reality where this technology came into fruition.One ring to hear your calls,One ring to talk in,
Two rings to take your calls,
and with the Bluetooth bind them.
BWAAHAHAHAHAHA. A Lord of the Rings themed poem, that's too precious. See what I did there? See how I snuck the precious right on in there? Jesus I should teach lessons about being awesome.
Bluetooth Concept turns your finger phone into reality [alphabetatricks]
Thanks to Cinema Obsessed, who isn't obsessed with movies so much as the popcorn.
Aug 6 2009 Fisticups: Because I'm Not A Morning Person
Sure we've already seen brass knuckle inspired coffee receptacles in the past, but, quite frankly, those ones didn't look as good (I did like the blood splatter though). Now the Fisticup from Fred (available mid-September for around $15) -- this is a coffee mug I can really sink my fingers into. But a warning: I will mug you in the face if you even think about asking me to do any work before lunch. You hear that, Steve? You hear that, Dan? Otherwise, two guys, one fisticup, I WILL MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
Fisticup [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Gino, who one punched a coworker with his coffee mug and spilled bourbon everywhere and that's how we all found out he drinks all day at work.
Aug 5 2009 I Knew It, I Knew It!: Toad Is A Rude Jerk
That's right folks: that no good, mushroom topped jerkbag Toad has been flipping us off for almost 25 years now. And honestly, I'm not surprised. I always got a bad feeling from the guy. I mean, I bust my ass to get through a castle to rescue the princess, AND THERE HE IS ALREADY STANDING AT THE END OF THE LEVEL. Anybody else find that a little fishy? Like, why didn't you save her yourself? UNLESS YOU'RE WORKING FOR KOOPA! *DUM DUM DUM* But seriously bro, I want to eat your head and go to a concert.
Thanks to 4thirty, who once licked like six Toads and then talked to a parking meter for 12 hours.
Jul 30 2009 Not For My Kids!: Darth Vader Robot Arm Toy
This Darth Vader robotic arm toy from Uncle Milton (creep!) costs $30 and will be broken by day's end. God, can I sell products or what? No, seriously, I can.
Build and use a real Star Wars Darth Vader robotic arm! Grip and move objects using interactive controls. Assembles easily with snap-together parts. Kids will learn how robotic arms are being used in medical science applications! Includes stand with built-in controls. Fun and informative learning guide included.
* Assembles quickly and easily with snap-together parts.* Includes stand with built-in controls.
* Gripping, turning, and extending action.
* Grabs and holds lightweight objects.
Well if that doesn't sound funner than a bunch of Sea Monkeys I don't know what does (except everything, including watching your last Sea Monkey die). No, I hereby challenge you to an arm wrestling match, Vader Arm. Ready? Set? *SLAM* Go. Haha, you have two fingers!
Thanks to Slade, who made a necklace out of robot fingers, which is pretty sick. And to naas, who's going to use this arm to choke me for the rest of the week.
Jul 24 2009 Handerpants: Underpants For Your Hands
Handerpants are a real product and apparently people are willing to pay $12 for them. Amazing -- even in a recession some people can't get their fill of novelty underwear. Or booze. I'm gonna stick with booze. I CAN HAZ GLUG?
Are you really naked under those gloves? For Pete's sake, put on some Handerpants! These 95% cotton, 5% spandex, fingerless gloves have the look and feel of men's briefs. Slip them on underneath your gloves for extra warmth and protection from chafing! Wear them on their own as a vaguely inappropriate fashion statement! Hundreds of uses! Fits most adult hands.
Yeah, well what if I have child-sized hands? Should I stuff a sock in these too? NOT THAT I'VE EVER DONE THAT (I use an old sweatshirt).
Hit the jump for a fairly painful infomercial for the things.
May 22 2009 Fun At The Fair: Animal Hand Paintings
These is a little gallery of amazing animal hand paintings created by somebody who I don't know who is. But whoever they are, they sure did a great job. So great, in fact, I've been inspired to paint my own.
Well, what do you think? It's a robin. That? That's the worm it's eating. Oh -- looks like he's having a little trouble keeping it down! Ha -- you see where I'm going with this? Hell.
Hit the jump for a bunch of others and a link to another gallery with at least 2 or 3x more.
Apr 22 2009 Two Pennsylvania Men Set Texting Record
That's right, in a bid to be crowned the world's biggest losers, Nick Andes, 29 and Doug Klinger, 30, sent over 217,000 text messages during the month of March. Also, Nick was mistakenly sent a $27K phone bill (which has since been cleared up) for the textacular achievement. You two must be so proud.
Andes and Klinger were able to set up their phones to send multiple messages. During a February test run they found they could send 6,000 or 7,000 messages on some days, prompting the March messaging marathon.
"Most were either short phrases or one word, 'LOL' or 'Hello,' things like that, with tons and tons of repeats," said Andes, reached by phone.Andes sent more than 140,000 messages, and Klinger sent more than 70,000 to end the month with a total of just over 217,000, he said.
Wow, that has got to be one of the saddest things I've ever copy/pasted. And this is coming from a guy who copy/pasted a picture of a smushed cat all around town to encourage people to drive slower. So yeah, I'm the authority. Now -- up against the wall and spread em! Wider. Haha, you ripped your pants.
Record attempt reaps 217K texts, $26K phone bill [myway]
Thanks to Thumperchica, who agrees some records are best left unbroken.
Apr 14 2009 'God's Hand' Spotted Using Space Telescope
That's right, son, spotted for the first time since like the year -5 billion: God's hand!
The image, taken by NASA's space-based Chandra Observatory telescope, shows an X-ray nebula 150 light years across.
NASA says the display is caused by a young and powerful pulsar, known by the rather prosaic name of PSR B1509-58.The finger-like structures are apparently caused by "energizing knots of material in a neighboring gas cloud," NASA says.
DAAAAMN! But seriously, God, you might want to have that pinky looked at.
NASA photos show giant cosmic hand [cnn]
Thanks e., I would walk 150 light years, and I would walk 150 more, just to be the man who walked 300 light years to fall down at your door.
Apr 8 2009 Scorpion/Ant Robot As Scary As It Sounds
The A-Pod is a scary-ass robot built by some A-Hole because his parents didn't play with him enough as a child, and now he's hellbent on robotic world domination. Of course, I suppose it could have been a woman that built it, in which case, witchcraft. Now, where'd I put my pitchfork? Ha, I've been sitting on it this whole time!
A-Pod is an ant inspired hexapod robot with a 2 DOF abdomen (tail), a 3 DOF head with large mandibles. 6 legs with 3 DOF each. Total 25 servos. This video demonstrates body movement and mandible control. I still have to do some mechanical improvements to the legs (therefore little walking)
The majority of the video consists of the robot dry-humping the floor, but there was a little footage demonstrating how easily the bot's mandibles can hold a Coke can or snip off your change purse. Which, be honest, is probably just full of useless Canadian coins anyways. BOOM -- consider yourself metaphored, son!
Thanks to Jon and Kevin, who tried stomping the bastard but only lost toes.
Apr 8 2009 Best Mouse Ever: The LED Message Mouse
The $21 LED message mouse has an LED laden fan in it that spins around and displays whatever barely decipherable message you want, while at the same time keeping your hand sweat-free during a particularly intense "gaming" (read: fapping) session. Granted, you won't be able to actually see your message while the device is in use, but that's a small price to pay for the awesome you know is just on the other side of your hand. Obviously, I'm talking about your hairy palm. Seriously bro, give it a rest.
Hit the jump for another shot and a video of the rodent in action.
Mar 28 2009 'David After The Dentist' Shirt From ThinkGeek
Remember David after the dentist? He was cute, wasn't he? He was. That's because drugs make people cute. And sometimes, their faces melt. It's true, one time at a concert I saw a bus turn into an accordion and Dracula fighting a dinosaur by the concession stand. It was super erotic. Anyway, get your own 'I have two fingers' shirt from ThinkGeek for $16-$18, depending on your size. Also, if if anybody knows where I can score some itrous-nay ide-oxay, that would be cool tool. Ha, did I just say cool tool? Yeah, and I meant it.
Thanks to killerabbit, who has four fingers.
Mar 15 2009 Guy Loses Finger, Replaces With Flash Drive
Jerry Jalava is a hacker who lost half his left ring finger in a motorcycle accident and decided to replace the digit with a USB drive. So now he sports a rubber half-finger with thumb(!)drive inside. Awesome. Plus, if he ever has to wear a wedding ring it won't count because it's not a real finger. Am I right? Because that's why I cut mine off. Just kidding, I was really high and trying to make a bong in shop class.
Hit the jump for three more shots of the digital digitry.
Continue Reading " Guy Loses Finger, Replaces With Flash Drive "
Feb 19 2009 Guy Loses Finger To Neodymium Magnets
What you're looking at there is a dude's fingernail and the remains of a finger that got crushed between two Neodymium magnets. Brutal! Sweet!
Dirk had an accident. It took 1 1/2 hours of surgery to remove the shattered bones and repair the damage. Medically speaking, he crushed his right index finger distal phalange. The magnets had a 50 cm (20 inch) separation when they decided to fly together.
He is lucky that he only lost a finger tip as opposed to his whole hand. The block Neo below is about 4" by 2" by 2" N45 with a pull force of around 700 lbs (320 kg). The disk is about 3" dia. by 2 1/2" thick N45 with a pull force of about 400 lbs (180 kg). That is his fingernail and some of his finger tip caught between the magnets.
Holy hellfire. Hit the jump to see the graphic photos and a link to the whole story. Which amazingly didn't include heavy drinking and/or a bet. Seriously though, Neodymium magnets are not playtoys (unless you got the really small weak ones, in which case, whee!). Remember what they taught you in Boy Scouts: if you can't stand the heat, too many chefs spoil the broth. Life wisdom, folks, I'm full of it.
Hit the jump for graphic pictures of a bloody stump.
Feb 5 2009 Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes
Kamani Hubbard was recently born with 12 fully developed (and functional) fingers and toes. I'm jealous -- I was born with a nubbin next to my left pinky and they cut it off at birth. But the nipple on my back is still there. Nice one, doc.
"It's merely an interesting and beautiful variation rather than a worrisome thing," said Dr. Michael Treece and St. Luke's Hospital Pediatrician. "I would be tempted to leave those fingers in place. I realize children would tease each other over the slightest things, and having extra digits on each hand is more than slight. But imagine what sort of a pianist a 12-fingered person would be. Imagine what sort of a flamenco guitarist. If nothing else, think of their typing skills."
"I just want him to see what greatness will be in store for him," said the baby's proud father.
Greatness, huh -- like being an illustrious blogger? I AM TEH L337 P4WNR OF INTERWEBZ!
A couple more pictures of the mad digits after the jump.
Continue Reading " Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes "
