Nov 11 2009 FREEDOM ISN'T FREE: Happy Veterans Day
I'd like to take this time to thank all the brave men and women who have served this country. You're the ones that have made the freedom to write whatever I want a reality. My sincerest thanks.
Your Geekologie Writer
Oct 17 2009 DO WANT: Full-Body Leather Lion Armor
This is a full set of leather armor created by DeviantARTist Azmal. As you can see, it is bad to the ass and I would be proud to rock it into battle any day (except Saturdays, I drink beer on Saturdays). En garde! RAAAAAWR!
Made entirely from leather and nickel finished hardware. Production time was about 3 weeks with the help of a couple friends. Chris and George.
Consists of:
Lion Head Helmet
Articulated Gorget
Breast and Back Plate w/ Overlays
Pauldrons with Heraldic Rampant Lions
Full Arms: Rerebrace, Vambrace, Elbow & Guard
Claw Gauntlets
Tassets
Front Skirting
Full Legs: Cuisses, Knee Cop & Guard, demigreives & full grieves, and sabbatons
All with tons of claws and block dyed tooled borders.
Don't you wish we still lived in a time where you could slap a guy with your gauntlet without fear of him shooting you? I mean, whatever happened to good old fashioned dueling? Also, fair maidens and dragons and all that. Man, the 2000's suuuck.
Thanks to sham, who once slayed a dragon with nothing but her willpower.
Sep 29 2009 I'm Not Sitting On It: Real Robotic Transformer
This is a real-life Transformer (OmniZero.9, the brainchild of Takeshi Maeda) that can morph from a humanoid robot to a humanoid robot that can carry a person, to a wheeled cart. Just watch how scary it is when it moves. If I didn't know better, I'd swear there was a little person in there. But there isn't! Just wires and servos and a metallic heart of death. Which, true story, only beats for the destruction of the human race. And speaking of which: One time I competed in a three-legged race solo.
Hit the jump for a video of the robot battling another, much smaller one.
Continue Reading " I'm Not Sitting On It: Real Robotic Transformer "
Sep 14 2009 It Just Makes Sense: Animals With Lightsabers
Animalswithlightsabers.com is a website with a bunch of pictures of animals wielding lightsabers. Because, let's face it: animals and lightsabers go together like waking up and drinking. Or going to bed with a bottle of vodka. It just makes people happy.
Hit the jump for several more of my favorites and another link to the website.
Continue Reading " It Just Makes Sense: Animals With Lightsabers "
Aug 17 2009 No Broken Bottles: Trash Filled Punching Bag
The man seen here, demonstrating there's nothing wrong with some good ol' fashioned man-bag love, is hugging a Do Box punching bag. A Do Box punching bag is a fist receptacle made to be filled with trash and then assaulted. Now, not to brag or anything, but I filled mine with grizzly bears. Good warm up.
Beat up trash instead of people [dvice]
Aug 6 2009 Fisticups: Because I'm Not A Morning Person
Sure we've already seen brass knuckle inspired coffee receptacles in the past, but, quite frankly, those ones didn't look as good (I did like the blood splatter though). Now the Fisticup from Fred (available mid-September for around $15) -- this is a coffee mug I can really sink my fingers into. But a warning: I will mug you in the face if you even think about asking me to do any work before lunch. You hear that, Steve? You hear that, Dan? Otherwise, two guys, one fisticup, I WILL MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
Fisticup [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Gino, who one punched a coworker with his coffee mug and spilled bourbon everywhere and that's how we all found out he drinks all day at work.
Jun 23 2009 Stay Away!: The Robotic Needle Of Death
We've already seen one robotic death needle, so what's another? EVERYTHING, THAT'S WHAT. I am honestly *this close* to drinking the Kool-Aid. But allegedly, this robot was designed to do good. Pfft, I've heard one that before. I'm looking at you, Elmo. You tried to touch me while I was sleeping.
Bioengineers at Duke University have developed a laboratory robot that can successfully locate tiny pieces of metal within flesh and guide a needle to its exact location -- all without the need for human assistance.
I stopped reading there because my pants were getting full, but just look at that needle. You really want a robot operating on you with that thing without human intervention? Fine, but it's gonna be your second butthole, not mine.
Robot surgeon uses frighteningly large needle to remove shrapnel, your resistance [engadget]
Thanks to STOMPY, who already has three.
Jun 18 2009 Eye Of The Tiger, Baby: Rocky III USB Drives
Looking to add a little homoerotic flair to your computer? How about the characters from Rocky III performing sit ups in a USB port? Available in Apollo Creed, Rocky and Clubber Lang (who's making the best face) varieties, the $30 port-humpin' fools are sure to get a rise out of coworkers. Or should I say, a sit up. Rise? Okey-dokey.
Rocky III USB drives sadly missing Burgess Meredith version [engadget]
Thanks to STOMPY, Julian, MoD and thedevine1, who all received the Presidential Fitness Award in middle school.
May 27 2009 Avery Labels In Cahoots With Tyler Durden?
This is a real package of Avery shipping labels and, as you can see, they've been sending packages to Tyler Durden. It's not Photohaxored either because you can see another picture at their official product site. So, apparently somebody at Avery has a sense of humor (and a bong). Or is going to help bomb a bunch of credit card companies. Quick, somebody call the FBI! *checking credit card balance* Cancel that -- let's see how this plays out.
Picture
and
Product Site
Thanks to biggity2bit, who feels like destroying something beautiful.
May 20 2009 Craigslist: Sword That Killed Goliath For Sale
Somebody in St. Louis, Missouri is selling a sword that may or may not be the one David used to chop that punk bitch Goliath's monster nog off after getting him all stoned. Wow, I should really teach Sunday School.
B.C. sword the question is ? Is this the sword of the giant, that little young David chopped the giant head off ? I have received alot of responds on this sword because nothing like this have never came up in history of antiques, and not to much talked about because no one wants to talk about the Bible, one question why 7,000 and this is just pennies in whats it's worth, and everyone knows about the game in collecting and how things pass from hand to hand until one gets the big bucks. So if anyone is interested in this sword they must do their home work I found the information and only went to 7th grade, solike you say you need more infor you must research it yourself and then bring me 7,000 dollars ... also this sword is about three feet long ..
That made no sense. Apparently they don't teach writing in St. Louis until 8th grade. Also, David used Goliath's own sword to cut his head off right? SO WHAT WOULD A GIANT BE DOING WITH A 3-FOOT SWORD? No, more than likely this is the sword Jesus used to kill the ninjas at the Battle of Bethlehem.
Thanks to Todd, who, IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!
May 20 2009 The Original Punch-Out!!: Now More Realistic
Not to be outdone by the new Wii Punch-Out!! game that just dropped, here comes a video of the original Punch-Out!! the way it was meant to be played: with, uh, a bunch of buttons attached to a boxing dummy. While cool in theory, it leaves a little something to be desired in practice. Namely, everything. Still, I do like the sound it makes when you punch a button. Wait, no I don't.
Modified boxing dummy makes Punch-Out a bit more realistic [dvice]
May 11 2009 Cool: Punch-Out!! Commercial/Documentary
This is a commercial for the new Punch-Out!! coming to the Wii, and it is awesome. Doc is exactly what I thought he'd be like in real life. "You see, a comeback is like a yo-yo. You gonna go down, but you comin' right back. And then you may end up walkin' the dog." Truer words have never been spoken. Truer words have never been spoken. What's that? Oooh, good call -- except for BANGARANG.
Hit the jump for a commercial for the original Punch-Out!! (complete with Mike Tyson!)
Continue Reading " Cool: Punch-Out!! Commercial/Documentary "
May 3 2009 Zombie Defense Training For Little Kids
This is a video of some little Japanese kids being trained to fight zombies. And let me tell you -- they are cute as little buttons. Remember folks, teach your kids how to properly protect themselves against attacks from the undead. Because otherwise you're gonna have to explain to your parents how a zombie ate their grandchild. And they will be pissed.
Thanks to Shun, whose children are all comfortable wielding sawed-off shotguns.
Apr 29 2009 Man Kills Friend In XBox Fueled Fight
In a serious act of good sportsmanship fail, some guy killed some other guy because the one dude (the dead one) kept beating him at Call of Duty (and yes, I am the L337 journalist). And no, that picture has nothing to do with the story besides the chicks happen to be XBox girls. I just thought it might lighten up the mood a little bit. Like mood lighting, but with boobs. Mood boobs.
Joseph Johnson, aged 28, from Chicago, is facing first-degree murder charges for allegedly killing a man while they played games together on an Xbox 360.
Johnson and Danny Taylor, aged 24, were allegedly playing video games at an apartment when tension escalated and they got into a fight. This led to Johnson allegedly shooting Taylor in the back of the head.
Jesus. Sure, I've thrown my fair share of controllers, and maybe one time I beat my brother in the head pretty badly with a Game Boy -- but actually killing somebody over a video game? That's crossing the line. THIS AIN'T NO GAME, SON, THIS IS REAL LIFE!
R.I.P. Danny.
Xbox Murder: Man Kills Acquaintance While Playing Videogame [allaboutthegames]
Thanks to Matty, who once tried to strangle a roommate with a wireless controller.
Apr 29 2009 About Time: Anti-Robot Denny's Commercial
Truthfully, I rarely go to Denny's because I prefer IHOP's Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity combo (two eggs, two bacon strips, two pork sausage links and two buttermilk pancakes crowned with cool strawberry or your choice of fruit compote and whipped topping). But I may make a change after seeing this commercial, which highlights the importance of eating a hearty breakfast in the fight against machines. You can't go fighting those robotic bastards on an empty stomach -- they'll gut you like a fish! The Grand Slamwich from Denny's: it's what John Connor would do.
Thanks to Scurls, who knows a Carnation Instant Breakfast just won't cut it.
Apr 13 2009 Cute: 2-Year Playing Street Fighter II Turbo
This is a video of a two-year old playing Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix and pulling off Zangief's Double German Suplex simply by mashing all the buttons. Which, ironically, is how I play.
My two year old son's first time in front of the joystick, playing against another five year old online in Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix. Manages to get a couple grabs and finishes the third round with a double suplex. He also did Fei Long's flaming kick and some other special moves in matches I didn't get on video. He's better at flailing at 2 than I was at 22 when SF2 came out in the arcade. :P I'm so proud.
Hearing the father say "push the buttons" gets pretty annoying after the first time, so feel free to skip to the last 15-seconds to watch the kid pull off the suplex. Then, start training your own child for a promising career in video games. Hey, anything can happen. Believe it or not, I even touched a boob once. *poker face* Admit it -- I had you going for a second!
Baby Pulls Off Zangief's Double German Suplex [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian, who once beat Sagat with one eye closed, just to be fair.
Apr 7 2009 Violence Escalates Between Twilight Fans (Twihards) And Non-Twilight Fans (Anti's)
That's right folks, diehard Twilight fans (Twihards) are waging war on their non-teen vampire loving brethren (Anti's) for talking smack on the series. Thankfully, there's a discussion board that has collected all the cases of Twihards attacking Anti's with books, bricks, knives and flare guns. I'm sure some of them are fake, most are poorly written, but a couple of them were pretty funny. They're broken into categories, depending on the severity of the attack, ranging from slap on the wrist, to police worthy, to felony. You know, I always suspected these books were brainwashing readers into lives of violence. This Twilight series is even worse than gangster rap! And, oh God, my girlfriend is one of them! BURN IT WITH FIRE!
The Twihard Attack Directory [twilightsucks]
Thanks to Watch, who once called Dracula a blood-sucking taint and then peed in his sleeping-coffin.
Mar 13 2009 Killzone Ads Pulled From Canadian Bus Stops
Over 300 Toronto bus stops have had their Killzone 2 ads pulled due to the violent imagery present.
Teacher Davis Mirza emailed Sony Canada, which makes PlayStation games, after seeing an ad for Killzone 2 in the bus shelter near his Scarborough school.
"My kids, who come from a lot of different countries, who have to experience violence, who basically come here to seek shelter and safety, that's the stuff they don't need to see," said the Grade 4/5 teacher at Pauline Johnson Junior Public School, near Birchmount Rd. and Sheppard Ave. E.The central image in the ad is a "menacing head with glowing eyes," wearing a mask with a breathing tube, Mirza said.
The secondary image shows what appears to be a war zone, "like Iraq," he said.
Hmm, I didn't read about any actual kids complaining. Live in reality, Mr. Mirza -- the apocalypse is coming. Would you rather have our children prepared, or cowering in a corner? And speaking of cowering in a corner: the end of Blair Witch Project -- scary.
Violent video game ads pulled from bus shelters [thstar]
Thanks to Ryan, who had to stop advertising his sexual services because his female customers were too satisfied.
Mar 9 2009 You're A Real Ninja Now: The Belt Sword
The Belt Sword is a questionable sword hidden within a belt. It was created to make dorks feel safe even though in a real-life situation they'd either forget they were wearing the thing or stab themselves trying to get it out. Also, they look suspiciously like aluminum-foil wrapped cardboard. The belt with 24" and 27" swords costs $150. $210 if you want five swords (24", 27", 29", 31", and 33"). Sorry folks, but I'm not interested. No, unlatching my buckle releases another, much more powerful weapon. Obviously, I'm talking about a flying dragon. *unbuckling* KA-P....uh-oh. Looks like the proverbial chicken has flown the coop. And, oh God -- taken off with the eggs.
Hit the jump to see more of this chick, along with a picture of the system and links to the product page and video demonstrations.
Continue Reading " You're A Real Ninja Now: The Belt Sword "
Feb 13 2009 Batwoman Is Back And Lesbian-er Than Ever
After 30 years, Batwoman is back on the prowl. As a redhead! And a lesbian! YOW YOW!
Billed as a 'lesbian socialite by night and a crime-fighter by later in the night', she replaces Batman, who was himself killed off in a recent issue of Detective Comics, the publication which introduced him to the world back in 1937.
Batwoman - the alter ego of Kathy Kane - is clad in a figure-hugging black outfit and knee-high red stiletto boots. She is the comic's first openly gay superhero.She was originally invented as a love interest for Batman and first appeared in her present present incarnation two years ago, sparking a slew of publicity about her sexuality. However, her outings to date have been sporadic and this is the first time she will be the lead character in the comic.
Well it's about time. After all, gays are superheroes too. Am I right? Damn yeah I am. Also, I demand a Batwoman movie be made. With kissing, looooots of kissing. Mwah XOXOX kissey mwah mwah XOXOXO kissey kissey. Oh yeah, that's the stuff romance novels are made of.
Holy Smoke! Batwoman makes her comic book comeback as red-headed lesbian [dailymail]
Thanks to Allison, who could whip Batwoman's ass in a catfight, claws down.
