Sep 16 2009 No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOO!: Yaddle Love Aid
For those of you who don't know, Yaddle is a female Jedi of Yoda's species (whatever the hell those green freaks are). And what you're about to see, if you're brave enough to hit the jump, is a homemade lovemaking aid featuring a picture of Yaddle and a green Fleshlight. And for those of you who don't know what a Fleshlight is: congratulations, you're our only hope.
WARNING: IMAGE CANNOT BE UNSEEN.
Hit the jump and get it over with. Feel the burn.
Sep 9 2009 Sticking It To The Man: Guy Dons Monkey Mask To Avoid Paying Speeding Fines
Guys, I know I said I'd have the haiku graded by last night, but I still have 200 to go. Then, I have to choose 4 out of the top 100 I've pulled aside. I WILL DO IT TONIGHT, I PRETTY PRETTY PROMISE. That said, some jackass is speeding around Phoenix, AZ wearing a monkey mask to avoid paying speeding-camera fines. To date, he's already been sent 37 tickets.
"Not one of them there is a picture where you can identify the driver," said Dave Vontesmar, a flight attendant who works at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. "The ball's in their court. I sent back all these ones I got with a copy of my driver's license and said, 'It's not me. I'm not paying them.' "
"We watched him four different times put the monkey mask on and put the giraffe-style mask on," Officer Dave Porter told AZcentral.com. "Based on surveillance, we were positive that Vontesmar was the driver.""It's obviously a revenue grab," he said of the new photo-enforcement program. "They're required by law to ID the driver of the vehicle. If they can't identify the driver or the vehicle by the picture, what are they doing to identify the driver?"
Really -- monkey and giraffe masks? Save 'em for the bedroom, Dave.
Man Dons Mask for Speed-Camera Photos [aolnews]
Thanks to Pat, who only drives in style -- on the sidewalk with a grocery bag on his head.
Aug 3 2009 Cut Your Nails: Mario & Luigi Tattoos On Feet
Before I go any further, you need to cut those toenails. That ring toe looks like it could cut glass and the middle one reminds me of a little fleshy grape. Great, now I want to eat it. I SAID, "PUT IT IN MY MOUTH!" So yeah, Mario and Luigi tattoos on the bottom of some guy's feet. I reckon he opted for the feet because his mommy would be disappointed if she found out he had them. So you should have seen the look on her face when he put his feet on the coffee table. It was like she just seen a ghost! Or video game tattoos on her son's feet. IT'S THE SAME LOOK!
Hit the jump for a shot of Luigi and one of both feet together.
Continue Reading " Cut Your Nails: Mario & Luigi Tattoos On Feet "
Mar 26 2009 When Dinos Are Packaged Together, I Win
Pfft, that ain't no fail. That, my friends, is a win. A big 'ol Geekologie Writer win. Now who wants to drive me to the toy store?
Packaging Fail [failblog]
Thanks to junkyard dog, who knows quality children's toys when he sees them.
Feb 7 2009 Doctoral Student Furious After University Throws Out His Collection Of Lizard Dung
Typically, you don't want bags of crap hanging around for too long. But not Daniel Bennett -- he loves that shit! Now he's furious that Leeds University custodians threw away part of his doctoral work -- a 77lb bag of Butaan Lizard dung it took him 7 years to collect.
"Whether it was the largest collection of lizard shit in the world is uncertain, but it certainly contained the only dietary sample from that little-known species Varanus olivaceus, and probably the most complete dietary record of any single population of animals in South East Asia. Its loss left me reeling and altered the course of my life forever."
First of all, Daniel, I don't think "shit" is the proper scientific nomenclature. And secondly, if losing a bag of crap can alter the course of your life forever, well, it's time you take a long, hard look at your life anyways. Just saying, tons of birdshit on my car.
University apologises for lizard dung clear-out [wigantoday]
Thanks to RyanThePerson, who is an actual human and not just shit stacked that high.
Apr 10 2008 Skirt Mousepad Cover Is Disturbing, Fetishy
I don't even know what to say about this. It's a jean skirt that you put your mouse and mousepad into. That way when you're computing it looks like you have your hand up a skirt and you're clicking around like a crazy person. What in the hell are the matter with these people? Whoever makes these things is freaking nuts. I mean, come on. A lightweight polyester-blend I could understand, but denim? Ridiculous. And sick.
Another picture of the thing in use after the jump.
Continue Reading " Skirt Mousepad Cover Is Disturbing, Fetishy "
Mar 4 2008 Handcuff Watch Looks Alright, Fetishy
Luis Berumen's ZeroPointZero concept watch is made from a pair of handcuffs. I like it. Not sure if I could rock it to work, but it'd certainly come in handy sometimes. After all, there's nothing worse than losing track of time when you're cuffed to the bed and your significant other is beating you with a riding crop. Now I'm not totally sure how the time is displayed, but I think the one in the picture may be showing 10:10. Of course I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. Like the time I said "I do" in front of that priest. Huge mistake.
Luis Berumen's ZeroPointZero Watch Concept - The Handcuff Inspired Fetishistic Timepiece [tfts]
Thanks to Andrew, who is cool in my book, for the tip
Mar 3 2008 Wrong, Wrong, Wrong: Fetish Birdo Costume
Remember Super Mario Bros. 2? Remember the Birdos, those egg spitting bosses? Yeah, I remember them too. But not like this. This is not definitely not the way I remember the Birdos of my childhood. Now I've seen a lot of sick things in my day, and I've even done a few, but NEVER EVER HAVE I EVER asked anyone to dress up like a Super Mario Bros. boss in order to get my rocks off I only asked my girlfriend to do the Bowser thing once, and I swear I felt bad afterwards.
Fettish Birdo Is The Weirdest Thing I've Seen All Day [albotas]
