Nov 18 2009 Ninja Fail: Overconfident (And Drunk) Ninja Attempts Fence Jump, Ends Up Impaled

A drunk and overzealous ninja, who may be the guy in this picture but was probably the kid in this video, attempted jumping over a fence in Seattle, Washington, only to impale himself on a pole. I knew about buttpirates, but who knew there were buttninjas too?! You're no drunken master!

Seattle police say a man who thought he was ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it. An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help. Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.

Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.

Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.

Listen, as a public service to you Geekologie Readers that think you might be ninjas, I've got news for you: you're not. You don't wear Velcro shoes so you can be ready to strike at a moment's notice, you wear Velcro shoes because you never learned to tie regular ones. And the katana set you bought at the kiosk at the mall? You've cut yourself playing Ninja Turtles, haven't you? The prosecution rests.

Police: Would-be Seattle
ninja impaled on fence [googlenews]

Thanks to Michelle loves ninjas drunk or otherwise, Rachel, Justin, Fluffy Frontstein, wes, Sally and Lizze, who actually are trained killers and could have easily cleared that fence.

Sep 16 2009 Uh-Oh: Little Robot Can Jump 25-Foot Fences

Boston Dynamics, a company best known for heralding the apocalypse with their futuristic death machines, is at it again -- this time manufacturing the Precision Urban Hopper.

Most of the time, the shoebox-sized robot - which is being developed for the US military - uses its four wheels to get around.

But the Precision Urban Hopper can use a piston-actuated "leg" to launch it over obstacles such as walls or fences.

The semi-autonomous, GPS-guided gadget could be used for surveillance in urban environments.

The robot is allegedly able to clear obstacles up to 25-feet high. Which is exactly why I built a 26-foot fence around my anti-robot compound. And dug a moat. Which, FYI, is filled with deadly water dragons. But not luck dragons -- Falcor doesn't like to get wet! But he does like to get high. You're so soft, Falcor. Plus you have a puppy face.

Military robot 'hops' over walls [bbcnews]
and
Youtube

Thanks to TobyRaider, Bobby, JKirchartz, Kelly, Lomig, Kyle, Laux, Jennaiii, shiny bathtub, shawn, Nikki, Fritz, Gonk Assassin, Mark, Spikey DaPikey, prestone, Matty, 2MechanicalArms and Laurent who can't even jump out of bed in the morning. It's called depression, folks, and I have it too.

Mar 23 2009 True Blood Advertisements In New Zealand

HBO posted these True Blood posters in New Zealand (who seems to get much cooler ads than we do) to advertise the upcoming season of the blood-sucking series starting June 2009. As you can see, each ad features several handy-dandy vampire pokers should you find yourself with some pointy-toothed bastard eying your neck on the bus. Ya best protect ya neck! And also, your purse -- vampires are thieves! It's true, that dreamy Edward Cullen stole my heart. You smell that? *sniiiiiiiiiiiiff* Smells like Twilight on DVD!

Hit the jump for several more pictures, this one and the next of which were taken by New Zealand Geekologie operative, Jonathan.

Continue Reading " True Blood Advertisements In New Zealand "

Mar 17 2009 Oh Grow Up: Flat Worms Fencing....Sexually

I know, I know, I should grow up. I just can't help myself. At least not when there's penis fencing involved. Superficial Writer, en garde!

Youtube

Thanks to LeftRIGHTleft, a college champion in Tit Kwon Do.

Dec 13 2008 Woman Leaves Berlin Wall For Garden Fence

A 54-year old woman who was married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years is now cheating on the iconic landmark with a local garden fence.

Mrs Berliner-Mauer (Berlin Wall), who has been diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality, claimed she fell in love with the wall when she first saw it on TV as a child. She began collecting "his" pictures and saving up for visits. On her sixth trip in 1979 they tied the knot before a handful of guests.

"The Great Wall of China's attractive, but he's too thick - my husband is sexier."

While she remains a virgin with humans, she insists she had a full, loving relationship with the wall.

WTF! Sadly, since the destruction of the wall in 1989, she hasn't been back to visit her lover and has "shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence."

Wow, cheating on the Berlin Wall with a common garden fence -- that's like leaving John Holmes for The Geekologie Writer. HIYO! Just kidding, I'm hung like a, well, it's not really long enough to hang. :(

Woman married Berlin Wall [ananova]

Thanks to Megan, who wanted to marry the Sistine Chapel until she met me.

Feb 25 2008 Pet Peek Makes Your Dog An Astronaut, Sad

Pet Peeks are torture devices for dogs that make them look like space cadets. They consist of an acrylic plastic bubble you install in the fence so your pet can see out. They cost $30 apiece and make me sad. I'm not really convinced that a Pet Peek is better than your dog just not knowing what's happening on the other side. I mean, why not just a hole? Ah yes, dogs can't wipe their snot on a hole. Nor can you sell them (except in donut form).

Pet Peek [zuzafun]

Thanks to Sophia, who is awesome as all hell, for the tip