Oct 28 2009 Road Rash: Crazy Four-Wheeled Motorcycle

The 2010 Cosmos 4RW V8 Muscle Bike sports four 17-inch wheels, a 250 cubic inch V8 producing 350 horsepower and an extra helping of deathtrap. Want one? Expect to spend $93K. Unless you're Batman, in which case it comes standard in the front end of a Tumbler. Unless he's been drinking, in which case it may come smashed in the grill of an 18-wheeler.

Is a motorcycle still a motorcycle if it has four wheels? [dvice]

Thanks to Chris, who drives a four-wheeled moped which I think we can safely assume has never felt a woman on its Italian pleather seat.

Oct 23 2009 Man Pleads Guilty In La-Z-Boy DWI Case

62-year old Dennis Anderson of Bumfunk, Minnesota was arrested last year for drunkenly driving his motorized La-Z-Boy into a parked car. Anderson's blood alcohol content was 0.29, which is impressive for a sexagenarian, but if mine falls below that I start to feel sick.

Anderson's customized vehicle, seen in the police evidence photos on the following pages, is powered by an eight horsepower Kohler lawnmower engine, and has a stereo, headlights, a built-in cup holder, and a "Hell Yeah It's Fast" bumper sticker. The ride, however, does not have a seat belt. Anderson, pictured above, controlled the La-Z-Boy via a steering wheel protruding from its seat cushion. The vehicle's headrest was adorned with the logo of the National Hot Rod Association. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson's jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term.

First of all, I can't believe it doesn't have a pop-out leg rest. And secondly, I can't believe it doesn't have a built in cooler. Where the hell was Anderson getting all the beers? And don't tell me a beer tree because I'mma rent a backhoe and uproot that tree. I wanna know where the beer at. I want the beer. Gimme the beer -- I want the beer.

Man Pleads To La-Z-Boy DWI [smoking gun]

Thanks to Closet Nerd, Occasional Reader, Kevin, B-Rad and Lord Tarl, who would have been smart enough to kick up the leg rest (because they would have built theirs with leg rests) and nap it off.

Oct 22 2009 Retractable Speed Bump Awards Slow Drivers

The Intelligent Bump is a speed bump that lowers itself if a driver is under a predetermined speed. It has no effect on me though because I drive a hovercar from the future.

Dubbed the Intelligent Bump, this clever system by Mexico-based Decano Industries actually retracts if you're "going slow enough", rewarding cautious drivers. These bumps are priced at an affordable $1,500 each.

"The system uses metal plates that measure the force of an impact against them. Cars going slow enough will cause the plates to lower, though any faster and the speed bump will remain where it is."

Listen, I hate speed bumps as much as the next person, but if I find out my state government is blowing $1,500 a pop for the things I'm gonna stop paying taxes. And by stop I mean never start. I'm flying under the radar, whee! Oh -- now I'm barnstorming! NNNNNNEEEEEAAAROOOOOOOM.

Hit the jump to see an animation of the bump in action that may or may not have contracted out to a kindergarten art class.

Continue Reading " Retractable Speed Bump Awards Slow Drivers "

Oct 20 2009 Scientists Want to Develop Robotic Cheetah To Chase You Down, Dine On Your Carcass

Because life is progressively becoming a series of nightmares, scientists want to develop a robot that mimics the movement of a cheetah so they can chase us down and maul us to death. Why did I even get out of bed this morning? Oh, right. Well why did I even wake up this morning?

Professor Sangbae Kim designer of the Stickybot and a Robotic designer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Is trying to understand how he can replicate natural animal mechanisms by creating a robot inspired by the cheetah.

The idea is to build a prototype robot from a construction of lightweight carbon-fiber-foam that will then be able to match the cheetah's speed of 70 miles per hour.

Over the next 18 months, Kim and four other MIT graduate students are going to start constructing the prototypes. Starting with a computer model of the robotic cheetah to establish the optimal limb length, weight, gait and torque of the hip and knee joints.

It's an ambitious project. Current wheeled robots are efficient, but can be slow in rough terrains. For instance, iRobot's PackBot, which is used by the U.S. military, can only travel at speeds of up to 5.8 miles per hour.

I'm sure this seemed like a good idea to somebody at some point, but it's not. Like I don't have enough to worry about without a 70 MPH cheetah-bot running around. Also, like four children. And you wonder why daddy drinks in bed all day!

Cheetah Inspired Robot [geekygadgets]

Thanks to Excaliber, who I will use to slice through these bastards like room temperature butter.

Oct 9 2009 Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea

The $200,000 WaterCar is the lovechild of a Corvette that fell in love with a cigarette boat. But, like having sex with a mermaid, everyone will tell you it was just a manatee.

Get a Corvette engine, rig it up with a Dominator Jet drive, and then strap it into a floating car, and you get the WaterCar Python, the fastest and highest-performing amphibious vehicle in the world. If zipping over the water at a top speed of 60mph doesn't float your boat, it'll accelerate on land at a neck-snapping 0-to-60 speed of a mere 4.5 seconds.

Call me old fashioned, but I like all my vehicles single-purpose. If it drives on the road, I don't want it in the ocean or sky. I mean, that's just more stuff to go wrong. And wrong, my friends, is the opposite of right. And two Wrights made an airplane. ZING! Thanks for that one, dad.

Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the thing in action (worthwhile stuff starts at 0:50).

Continue Reading " Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea "

Sep 19 2009 That's Classy: Truckvette Spotted At Walmart

That has got to be the fastest looking truck I've ever seen. And I saw a truck shot out of a cannon before, so I know. Still, needs truck nuts.

TRUCK-VETTE [peopleofwalmart]

Thanks to Alan, who once drove a truck to the moon and did donuts in a crater. Bitchin'!

Sep 3 2009 How To Rob An Apple Store In 31 Seconds

Just like this. IN 31 seconds the thieves made off with 23 Macbook Pro's, 14 iPhones and 9 iPod Touch. Wow. And did anybody else find it annoying how the reporter was speaking during the video? "Watch again as the thieves show skilled practice at bringing down that plate glass door. And savvy enough to wear masks knowing there would be surveillance cameras ALL OVER THE PLACE." Skilled practice, really? THEY THREW A BRICK THROUGH A GLASS DOOR. "Savvy enough to wear masks"? Jesus, it's not like they trained pigeons to rob the store, they tied bandannas around their faces and this guy thinks they're criminal masterminds.

How to Rob an Apple Store [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Greg, Gino, Sarah and The Superficial Writer, who could have done it in 29 seconds AND snagged a couple iPhone cases.

Aug 14 2009 WTF Is That?: The Lazareth Wazuma Bio V12

The Lazareth Wazuma Bio V12 is the lovechild resulting from the night a 4-wheeler banged mother nature and then slept with a Formula-1 car for good measure (read: a 500-horsepower death trap that runs on E85 ethanol and costs a staggering $285,000). You'd think for more than a quarter of a million dollars you might get a roof and maybe an airbag, but no, YOU ARE TOO RICH TO DIE. Don't worry, your money will save you (no, no it won't).

Youtube

Thanks to fleity, who's smart enough to know that race car is a palindrome.

Jul 22 2009 Extreme Nutjob Skates Down Roller Coaster

German extreme sportster Dirk Auer strapped on a pair of specially designed lollerblades and, with roflcopter hovering overhead (but not really), skated down a roller coaster at a German amusement park. He undoubtedly soiled his speedsuit.

Spending two months planning the outrageous stunt, Mr Auer also designed and made the monster skates, which took him a total of 110 hours' work.

Mr Auer, from Gross-Gerau near Frankfurt, is considered to be the most extreme in-line skater in the world.

He already holds the world record for reaching speeds of 190mph as he was dragged along behind a Porsche GT2.

Travelling at speeds up to 56mph, Auer skated the entire length of the roller coaster - 860 metres (~2820 feet) - in just over a minute.

Nice one, Dirk, but I could have done it in under a minute. BECAUSE I WOULDN'T USE THE BRAKES. Brakes, like crash helmets, are for unprofessionals and children. Did I? I did -- consider the gauntlet thrown! Now, take off those silly skates and fight like a man.

Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the WHEEEEEEEEE!

Continue Reading " Extreme Nutjob Skates Down Roller Coaster "

Jul 1 2009 Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck

Chris Lentz, instead of going the classy route and getting a pair of truck nuts, decided to throw a Czech built Motorlet M-701 turbojet in the bed of his truck.

The fifty-five-year-old electrical foreman from Jackson, Michigan, had longed for a jet-powered truck for decades. Two years ago, Lentz discovered a way to realize his dream when he met a pilot from New York who imported used turbojet engines. After watching an example run on a test stand, Lentz paid $10,000 for one.

Unfortunately, it's pretty unimpressive.

Without jet assist, Lentz's 231-hp V-8 accelerated its 6600-pound burden (truck, jet engine, two occupants) to 60 mph in a sluggish 14.5 seconds.

The best of three runs in hybrid mode - exploiting both piston and jet propulsion - trimmed six seconds from the sprint to 60 mph. The quarter-mile speed jumped 30 mph and we achieved 140 mph after 45 seconds of acceleration.

Wow. You could probably tape bottle rockets to your bumper and go faster. Just sayin', HAPPY CANADA DAY! Somebody burn themself with a firework for me.

Video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck "

Jun 29 2009 Boom Boom: Guy Snaps Supersonic Picture

Ronald Dejarnett is the U.S. Navy sonar technician that snapped this pic of an F-22 going boom boom over the Gulf of Alaska. Quick shootin', Ronald -- I probably would have peed a little and yelled DECEPTICON! But that could be my special forces training talking.

A Picture Is Worth About $138 Million [gizmodo]

Jun 26 2009 Vroom Vroom?: Piaggio's 3-Wheeled Scooter

Two wheels in the front, one in the back -- that's crazy talk! But not for this Piaggio scooter, which looks eerily like the lovechild of my moped and Darth Vader's Segway.

The Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter ($9,000) features a unique three-wheel design, providing a more stable, secure, and easier ride. Features include a 493cc engine, a maximum speed of 89mph, 55-57 mpg gas mileage, a lean angle of 40 degrees, 20% less braking distance than traditional two-wheeled scooters, and aggressive looks that will help you stand out from the Vespa crowd.

I really want one, but I know that it would kill me. Well technically IT wouldn't kill me, it would be hitting the bottom of the canyon.

Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter [uncrate]

Thanks to naas, who once popped a wheelie and crashed into a telephone pole. He limped from the scene.

Jun 8 2009 Stealth Dodge Challenger Built By Air Force

Want to join the Air Force? Look at the picture above. How about now? Still no? Well damn, the Air Force is gonna be pissed -- this was supposed to be a powerful recruitment tool.

The Challenger Vapor features radar-absorbing stealth-black paint, not unlike what is used to mask stealth bombers. The Vapor is set to run almost silently, thanks to "stealth exhaust" - whatever that means. Reminds us of when KITT used to go "Silent Mode" on Knight Rider. You need biometric verification to enter the cockpit via gull wing doors. The driver can view night/thermal vision projections on the windshield while sitting in a compartment that looks like something out of Crimson Tide.

Listen, Air Force, I'm not one to tell somebody how to do their job, but if you want new recruits, you're going about it all wrong. Two words: Free jetpacks. You think about it.

UPDATE: Looks like they also made a Mustang with a jet-like cockpit. Added pics after jump.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a short video of the thing.

Continue Reading " Stealth Dodge Challenger Built By Air Force "

Jun 2 2009 Winner Of Baby Race Crawls For Laptop

First of all, I bet on baby races all the time ($40 on the bald one with a dirty diaper). And secondly, Kajus Aukščionis recently won a Lithuanian baby race and is a super fast crawler. Not as fast as me, but I have a special skill set. But what gets young Kajus crawling so fast? Laptops. The little haxor loves those things and bolts to them whenever he sees one. It's true, I heard one time he shat through his diaper in Best Buy he was so excited.

Lithuanian Baby Racing Champion Mired In Performance-Enhancing Laptop Scandal [gizmodo]

Thanks to ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, who may or may not have fallen asleep at the keyboard.

May 16 2009 Looks Safe: Setting Jet Pack Speed Records

This is a video of Jetpack International trying to raise the airspeed record for jetpacking. Because, well, you've gotta start somewhere.

This is not especially difficult to do, considering that jetpack airspeed records don't really exist yet, but when you only have 30 or 40 seconds of fuel, you have to make sure and remember to leave yourself enough time to slow down.

The actual jetpacking starts at around 1:30, but whoever edited the video did a pretty shitty job and loves slow motion too much. Still, dude gets up to 61MPH. Which is impressive considering he's towing like 30lb balls.

Jet Pack Speed Record [ohgizmo]

May 6 2009 Wait, What?: A Chocolate Powered Race Car

That's right, a team at Warwick University have developed a race car that's made out of vegetables and runs on chocolate. Of course, gumdrops and licorice sticks would have been cooler, but hey, you work with what you've got.

The racer isn't legal to race in the F3-series as chocolate-based fuels aren't on the approved list of energy sources, but that's not the point. The WorldFirst team is trying to prove green-racing doesn't have to mean boring-racing. They've used recycled materials in combination with fibers and extracts of fruits, vegetables and plants to create composites, materials and lubricants along the same vein as carbon fiber, plastics, and oil. It's based on the standard Lola chassis and despite the eco-friendliness, the car will still hit 145 MPH and corner like the real deal.

Well snap crackle pop! Plus, if you crash in the wilderness you can eat your car to survive. Double whammy! Now, here's your fun word fact for the day: race car is spelled the same forwards and backwards. It's a palindrome, just like "Wo! Nemo, Toss a Lasso to Me Now!" You know that joker Mr. Wizard that used to be on TV? Yeah, well I'm like his illegitimate cousin, Mr. Word Wizard. Except I don't invite neighborhood kids over to my house all the time BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW I ROLL.

WorldFirst ecoF3: A Chocolate-Powered Sustainable Race Car [jalopnik]

Thanks to Dr Freak, Thumperchica, Lisa, Stirling and James, who made a race car that was powered by dreams but crashed it when one of them had a nightmare.

Apr 14 2009 Trying To Pancake A Car With A Rocket Sled

This is by far one of the coolest videos I've seen in awhile. In it, the Mythbusters attempt to fuse metal and pancake a compact car using a rocket-sled traveling at 650MPH. The results are....amazing. And why I don't drive. With a license.

Youtube

Thanks to snipmint, who once rode a rocket to the moon and didn't bother to bring me back any cheese. Just sayin', kind of a dick move.

Mar 11 2009 Race Car Controlled With Blackberry Storm

So apparently some guys programmed a Blackberry Storm to control a little toy race car using its accelerometers. Then they posted the video on Youtube. Then McLaren saw the video and contacted them about using the device to control a real race car. And that's what they did (second half of the video). Pretty neat. Sure, not as neat as controlling a race car with your mind, but hey, we'd have to go to the aliens for that technology. Which would probably require a few sacrificial probings. Just saying, I'm friends with them. Ladies? No? Okay, plan B. Effeminate gentlemen?

Youtube

Thanks to Curtis and Troy, who both know race car is the same spelled forward and backwards. It's palindromic!

Mar 10 2009 What If....You RAIDED 24 SSDs Together?

Apparently this is some sort of Samsung advertisement showing what you can do when you RAID 24 256GB solid state drives together. The fun includes: achieving a transfer rate of over 2GB/sec, opening all of Microsoft Office in a half-second, opening all 53 programs in the start menu in 18 seconds, and playing Crysis in high resolution. WHEE! Of course, seeing how similarly sized SSDs run $700+ apiece, this is one hell of an expensive set up. Which is why I stole it. Finally -- Jesus Crysis! PEW PEW!

Youtube

Thanks to Steven and Blinzler, who both have supercomputers in their heads. Did that just boggle your mind? Because it didn't theirs' -- they have computers for brains.

Feb 27 2009 Aha!: The Secret To Google Street View

You ever wonder how those Google Street cars are covering the world's roads so quickly? Hyperdrive, baby, hyperdrive. CLICK CLICK VROOM VROOM!

Google Maps

Thanks to kulow, who discovered the worm hole searching for directions to Jimmy John's. Subs so fast you'll freak, mmmm.