Sep 30 2009 Slings Let The World Know How You Did It

This is a series of slings that lets the rest of the world know how you went and broke your arm. And as a guy who's broken his thumb once and arm twice, I've got to admit: it's never stopped me from still doing dumb shit all the time. High-five for never learning lessons! But seriously, now I've got a wonk-arm now with a giant metal plate and screws in it that sends shockwaves up my arm whenever I try to do push-ups. Which is EXACTLY why I don't work out. AND HELL YES I SET OFF AIRPORT METAL DETECTORS! Just like Luke Skywalker -- except I'VE never tried slipping my sister the tongue. Step-sisters don't count!

Illustrative Slings Show How That Arm Got Boned [gizmodo]

Thanks to Romeo, whose magnetic personality alone is enough to set off an airport metal detector.

May 27 2009 House From Ferris Bueller's Day Off For Sale

The Highland Park, Illinois home of Ferris Bueller's best friend Cameron is currently available for $2.3 million if you're interested. The house is best known for its cantilevered plate-glass garage that Cameron sends his dad's Ferrari through after kicking the shit out of it.

The Ben Rose Home - site of the famous movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." Cantilevered over the ravine, these two steel and glass buildings - which can never be duplicated - have incredible vistas of the surrounding woods. This is a unique property designed by A. James Speyer and David Haid, both notable architects of the 20th Century.

Anybody seriously interested? And if so, want to adopt a blogger? Just saying, I'll do the dishes. And, hopefully, the maid. Pool boy too!

Ferris Bueller's Ferrari House For Sale [retrothing]

Thanks to wulk, who knows that people who live in glass houses shouldn't own Ferraris.

May 11 2009 Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat: Spiderman Fail

This is a video of Spiderman hurting himself in front of a bunch of children and being played off by a cat on a keyboard. Trust me, it'll all make sense after you watch it. Just kidding, it won't ever make sense. But it will always make awesome.

Youtube

Thanks to Joemo, who once found Spiderman trapped in his own web and furiously pleasuring himself to a daddy longlegs.

Feb 17 2009 Screw It, I'm Tired Of Living: Crane Pull Ups

This is a video of some joker doing pull ups hanging from a crane that is way up high in the sky. Like a bird, except metal and painted red. Okay, like Bubo, the owl in Clash of the Titans, except he was silver and gold and had beady little eyes. Whatever, I am the Analogy King! Anyway, every time the dude goes back down after a pull up I thought he was going to fall. But he didn't, and that made me very sad.

Youtube

Thanks to The Jerk, who once did two thousand crunches in a row and then puked.

Jan 28 2009 Fail: A Lesson In How Not To Kill Yourself

If you want to kill yourself by driving your beautifully rusting 1987 Dodge van off a cliff, make sure you catch enough air to not end up teetering on the edge of a precipice.

34-year-old Daniel J. Lyons and his sweet 1987 Dodge van bounced down the rocky side of the canyon at Colorado National Monument park this past Wednesday only to be brought to an abrupt halt by an outcropping. Rescue workers found him teetering over the 170-foot drop. Eventually, a litter was lowered over the edge and Lyons was pulled to safety.

Lyons is adamant the incident was an accident, but investigators couldn't find any skid marks or other signs of mishap, indicating this was, in fact, likely a suicide attempt. The van will remain perched on the cliff below Rim Rock Drive until authorities find a way to remove it or gravity has its way.

Jesus, I can think of a lot better ways to go than driving a perfectly good van off a cliff. Including, and currently limited to: mailing yourself. To the sun.

Hit the jump for a couple more amazing pictures.

Continue Reading " Fail: A Lesson In How Not To Kill Yourself "

Jan 21 2009 I'm Tired Of Life Anyway: Wingsuit Madness

MUST WATCH, UNBELIEVABLE ACTION.

Wingsuits: just like being a bird, except no bird is dumb enough to do that shit.

UPDATE: A cardinal just flew into the window. Superbowl omen!?

Vimeo

Thanks to The Jerk, Jim and Phil, who don't need to almost die to have a good time, video games are enough.

Jan 12 2009 Soiled Pants: The World's Scariest Hiking Trail

And that, my friends, is why I never leave the house.

Youtube
Thanks to The free faller, who took one wrong step.

Dec 16 2008 NSFW!: Advertisers Take Note -- Now This Is How You Sell A Damn Washing Machine!

VIDEO IS NSFW

Well, after that last post I need a little pick-me-up. And what picks up the Geekologie Writer? Haha, you all know me too well, NSFW boobs (read: bare ones). This is a European Siemens commercial for a $900 washing machine that features a bunch of bare-breasted women skydiving from a plane. Because, just like Jesus dictated to his secretary in Psalm 49: Large boobs sell large appliances. Amen to that. I just ordered sixty of them, and I don't even wear clothes! I'm a blogger, folks, and the official uniform of the blogger is a single pair of stained boxers. And I'm not even wearing those right now! Now guess what I'm going to use to type the period at the end of this sentence. If you guessed my right ring finger, you are correct. Pfft, I know how to type!

WOW, NSFW Commercial [phillyd]

Thanks to pirhan, who delivers the goods when I need them most.

Dec 3 2008 Look, I'm A Magician!: Levitating Water

Levitating water isn't actually levitating at all. In fact, the shit's just falling. Like rocks. Rocks of water. Did that just blow your mind? It only LOOKS like it's levitating due to sorcery and, quite possibly, a little witchcraft as well. Fine, strobe lights. Regardless, it's still pretty damn cool, and I would definitely drink from it. I'd drink it dry! Like a desert. No oasis here folks, just a guy spooning a camel. And speaking of Camels: Joe. Who else had a crush on him?

Youtube

Thanks to Melissa, who thinks levitation is weak sauce because she can fly. I just want X-ray vision.

Nov 21 2008 Record Base Jump Off The Burj Dubai

Two thrillseekers snuck into the Burj Dubai in May while it was being built and jumped off at 650 meters up. You know, because they're crazy. Crazy risk takers. Rumor has it one of the guys even went as far as to have sex with a prostitute without putting a jacket on first. Yeah, and there was a frost warning in effect!

Two Guys Jumped Off the Burj Dubai and Lived to Tell About It [gizmodo]

Nov 7 2008 Stylin' And Profilin' (And Kicking Myself In The Nuts For Writing That) With A Mario Hoodie

Looking for a sweet new hoodie to rock this fall? How about a Super Mario inspired joint? The MarioFlauge hoodie is currently available for pre-order and will set you back 65 pieces of eight. It's jam packed with enough golden coins, warp pipes, and phallic mountains for even the most discriminating hoodier. And speaking of which: Geekologie hoodies.

Product Page

Thanks to Dan, who agrees to wear this hoody if you dress up like Princess Peach.