Feb 1 2010 Lookin' Good!: A Gizmo (From Gremlins) Dress

Sure he looks like a stoned pug, but still: G for effort. AND Gizmo. The dress skirt is available for $2,100 from Alex and Chloe, and is, wait -- $2,100? You've got to be f***ing kidding me.

"Gizmo" skirt in grey tweed with 'ear-pockets' and swarovski crystal eyes by BRIAN LICHTENBERG from the ready to wear collection.

PLEASE NOTE: The Ready to Wear BRIAN LICHTENBERG pieces are made to order - Please allow 10-14 business days before we ship this item.

First of all, for being in the "ready to wear" collection, 10-14 business days before shipping doesn't exactly sound all that ready. And secondly, how much you wanna bet there's an evil Gremlin hiding behind that cuddly little face? (I'm talking about her vagina)

Hit the jump for a couple more shots, including some close-ups.

Continue Reading " Lookin' Good!: A Gizmo (From Gremlins) Dress "

Dec 16 2009 Modern Warfare 2 Ghost Inspired Balaclavas

I can never see the word "balaclava" without thinking baklava, which is totally different but infinitely more delicious and arguably my favorite dessert. Now I know what you're thinking, "but GW, I don't care what your favorite dessert is". But you know what? It's too f***ing late. Anyway, if you want a BALACLAVA inspired by the one Ghost wears in 'Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2' now you can buy them in blue, green and red for ~$21 a pop. And, in case you couldn't tell, there are other video game/movie inspired bank-robbery aids on the way as well. Plus, the company is run by a loyal Geekologie Reader who told me things about myself even I didn't know. It was therapeutic. Like crying in the bathtub, but without the aromatic candles.

Product Site

Thanks to Jamie, who may or may not be a Tarot reader.

Nov 23 2009 Ultrasonic Proof: Couple Convinced Their Unborn Baby Looks Like Michael Jackson

Not to be outclassed by the recent Drybones baby, a family in the U.K. claims to be birthing Michael Jackson's head. And, based on the ultrasonic evidence, I have to admit: that is indeed Michael Jackson getting poked in the nose with a penis turd.

Mum and dad-to-be Dawn Kelley and William Hickman, from Sunderland, couldn't believe their eyes when looking at this scan of their unborn baby - seeing the face of Jacko staring back at them.

But the baby will not be called Michael - the couple know they're having a girl.

Ms Kelley, who is 24 weeks' pregnant, due in March, said: "I've had plenty of scans before and none of the photos have ever looked like this. It's a bit spooky.

"But it is my seventh child, and seven is a mythical number."

Mythical number 7, riiiiiiight. Listen, I'm not so sure you should be breeding so much. Probably should have stuck with good ol' non-mythical 0. Just sayin'! (Do you know anything about dragons?)

'Our unborn baby looks like Michael Jackson!' [shieldsgazette]

Thanks to Aslan=Jesus and The Geekologies Writer lover, who, have you been drinking again?

Oct 12 2009 WTF Is That?!?: A Frozen Blood Head

Let's cut right to the questionable chase: this is a sculpture (or mold) of artist Marc Quinn's head made from 4.5 liters of his own frozen blood. Really gets you in that Halloween spirit, doesn't it? No, not so much.

The blood is taken from this own body over a period of five months. The work is then repeated every five years to establish a unique record of the artist aging.

Now I'm not here to judge art, but that seems pretty sick. Plus, what if the power goes out on your freezer while you're away on vacation? How do you explain the 4.5 liter bloodstain in your garage? You hunt deer. That was a freebie -- next time, you owe me.

Creepy And Disgusting "Self" Art By Equally Creepy Artist Marc Quinn [youbentmywookie]

Thanks to eric, who once made a head out of frozen orange juice concentrate. It was delicious.

Sep 24 2009 Be Like Obama: Pac-Man Laptop Stickers

AAAAHH, HE'S POINTING DIRECTLY AT MY SOUL! But that's not the point, the point is that there's little Pac-Man looking sticker (which I'm pretty sure is actually a Chain Chomp sans chain) on the president's MacBook Pro. And now you can have one just like it for the low, low introductory price of $3 (or 5 for $12)!

These Pacman stickers in dark blue are now available for sale from Obama Pacman! Works on your Apple laptop, including MacBook, MacBook Pro, MacBook Air, your Apple desktop, including iMac, Mac Pro, and maybe even a Mac Mini. These high quality stickers will also work for PCs and almost anything else you can get your hands on.

OMG, Pac is headed right for that apple! Don't eat it, Pac, DON'T DO IT! *om nom nom nom* Thanks a lot jerk, now we have to leave the garden. Say -- think you could get the missus to flash us all before we go?

Product Site

Sep 16 2009 Blockhead!: Face Rendered In Tetris Shapes

This is a head rendered in Tetris blocks as imagined by Rihards Rozans. I have no idea if he used his own face for the model, but if he did, he's a pretty handsome guy. You know, in a Donkey Kong sort of way. Speaking of which: remember Candy Kong in Donkey Kong Country? I wanted to hit that like a bushel of bananas: still green and $0.79/lb?

Hit the jump for three more shots of the blocks.

Continue Reading " Blockhead!: Face Rendered In Tetris Shapes "

Sep 11 2009 Lookin' Bad: Bluetooth Ringphone Concept

Who the hell would actually want to talk to their hand like in the picture is beyond me (where do I sign up?), but Argentinian design team BCK designed this set of rings to use as a Bluetooth headset handset. Also, anybody else notice how the thumb above the ring was drawn in, and the pinky looks like it was torn off and sewn back on by Dr. Frankenstein? I wish mine looked like that.

The user talks to the hand using the yellow ring that fits halfway down the little finger, and then listens with the pink ring on the thumb.

This is one concept that probably won't catch on, ever. Unless you can make a display to put on the palm. Maybe there is some alternate reality where this technology came into fruition.

One ring to hear your calls,

One ring to talk in,
Two rings to take your calls,
and with the Bluetooth bind them.

BWAAHAHAHAHAHA. A Lord of the Rings themed poem, that's too precious. See what I did there? See how I snuck the precious right on in there? Jesus I should teach lessons about being awesome.

Bluetooth Concept turns your finger phone into reality [alphabetatricks]

Thanks to Cinema Obsessed, who isn't obsessed with movies so much as the popcorn.

Sep 9 2009 Study: OMG Women Have Faces!?

In a unshocking report released by the New Zealand's University of Wellington, researchers found that most men don't know that women have faces. Only breasts. Haha! But seriously -- what's a face?

Researchers found that virtually half - 47 per cent - of men first glance at a woman's breasts. A third of the "first fixations" are on the waist and hips, while fewer than 20 per cent look at the woman's face.

Not only are breasts often the first thing men look at, they also glance at them for longer than any other body part, the experts discovered, the Daily Mail newspaper in the UK reported.

Hey, different strokes for different folks (I always check for a penis first).

Scientific proof that men look at women's breasts first and their face is almost last [dailytelegraph]

Thanks to deadbodyman, who's still not convinced women have faces. OR BREASTS (foot fetish).

Sep 4 2009 Balls Of Steel: F-18 Hornet Buzzes Man's Head

This is a video of an F-18 Hornet buzzing some guy's head so close you can taste the jet fuel. Now I'm not saying this thing would kill you if it hit you, but it would certainly mess your hair up. Also, not to brag or nothin', but one time I let a jet land ON MY FACE. Now who's the man?!

F-18 Hornet Ultra Low High Speed Fly By [todaysbigthing]

Thanks to Matt, who once flew a prop-plane through a barn and accidentally hit a chicken.

Aug 28 2009 Paper Art: Toilet Paper Roll Face Sculptures

Junior Fritz Jacquet is an artist that loves working with paper and has created a series of small masks by bending and folding empty toilet paper rolls. Good looking, Junior (we named the dog Indiana). I really think this is testament to the creativity of the human mind. It's amazing, you know? Junior here sees an empty toilet paper roll and thinks art. Me? I think, "damnit -- what hand's it gonna be this time?"

Hit the jump for a whole gallery of faces.

Continue Reading " Paper Art: Toilet Paper Roll Face Sculptures "

Aug 21 2009 Creepy: An Edward Cullen Shower Curtain

Because it's a well known fact vampires are pervbags that like to stare at you while you piss, here's a custom Edward Cullen shower curtain. It was handpainted by Etsy seller CustomShowerCurtains and will set you back a cool 75 bones. Now, you may be wondering why I'm posting a Twilight shower curtain in the first place. And the answer to that, my friends, is for the womens. Apparently they love this shit. Also, shoes and cooking. DO I KNOW THEM OR WHAT?!

Product Page

Thanks to Jay, who caught Bella watching him projectile vomit after a long night of drinking.

Jul 14 2009 Good Enough To Eat?: Darth Vader Chops

Andreas Heim, of Denmark, opened a pack of lamb chops earlier this month and, HELLO, DARK SIDE VADER CHOPS! I don't know about you, but I would eat the hell out of that thing. Although, to be honest, I would eat the hell out of unmasked Vader chops. Which are actually shriveled turnips. Admit it -- I'm not the only one who wanted to lick that head!

Se, en Darth Vader-kotelett! [vg]

Thanks to Oiva and Occasional reader, who once shared a tauntaun shaped pork chop.

Jul 10 2009 Robot Teaches Itself To Smile, Next: Targeting

The fools at the University of California, San Diego have created a robot that can learn new facial expressions on it's own. Next, its gonna learn how to drive itself to the shooting range.

To begin teaching the robot, the researchers stuck Einstein in front of a mirror and instructed the robot to "body babble" by contorting its face into random positions. A video camera connected to facial recognition software gave the robot feedback: When it made a movement that resembled a "real" expression, it received a reward signal.

"It's an iterative process," said facial recognition expert Marian Bartlett, a co-author of the study. "It starts out completely random and then gets feedback. Next time the robot picks an expression, there's a bias towards putting the motors in the right configuration."

Now I'm no terrorist, BUT IF I WAS, Machine Perception Laboratory, just sayin'.

Robot Teaches Itself to Smile [wired]

Thanks to Dirk, Dennie and RealLifeFup, who asked it to smile for the camera and then shot it because it wasn't really a camera, it was a gun.

Jul 10 2009 4GB Vision: Calvin Klein USB Sunglasses

These $200 sunglasses from Calvin Klein (available this October) feature a 4GB flash drive in the right arm so you can take your data to the beach or wherever the hell people wear sunglasses these days. Me? I just squint.

calvin klein usb sunglasses: data for your eyes only [technabob]

Jun 26 2009 Guy Fills iPhone With Cleverly Made Icons

This is a pretty exciting picture of some guy's iPhone. As you can see, he traded all the icons out for pictures he made himself. Pretty cute. Not the phone -- your dog. Can I pet it?

This iPhone is Freakin' Hilarious [gizmodo]

Thanks to greg, who traded out all his iPhone icons for nothing because WHO NEEDS BUTTONS AM I RIGHT?!

Jun 23 2009 UPDATE: 56 Star Faced Girl A Dirty Liar

In an unshocking turn of events that surprised no one, it turns out the tattooed star face girl is a dirty liar and a slag. Okay, I dunno about the slag part, but I've always wanted to say it and figured now's my chance.

Kimberley Vlaeminck, 18, claimed that she'd asked for three small stars but fell asleep during the procedure and woke up with a whole galaxy on her face.

But she has now confessed she knew exactly what tattoo parlour owner Rouslan Toumaniantz was doing but changed her mind later.

She said she lied because her father was "furious".

Pathetic. Of course your father got furious, Kimberley, THAT'S WHAT FATHERS DO. Also, drink and forget your birthday. :(

Tattoo girl: 'I lied about my stars' [metro]

Thanks to Thumperchica, who called this from the beginning because she has common sense can see the future.

Jun 17 2009 Star Face: Girl Asks For 3 Stars, Gets 56

Allegedly Kimberley Vlaminck, 18, went into a tattoo parlor and requested three stars on the left side of her face by her eye. However, she claims she fell asleep during the procedure and woke up with 56. I suspect she's lying.

Rouslan, who runs the tattoo parlour called The Tattoo Box in Courtrai, said Kimberley was awake and actually looked in the mirror several times during the procedure to see how it was going.

'He said she knew 'exactly what she wanted. The trouble all started when she went home and her father and boyfriend threw a fit. They are saying things now like I doped her or hypnotised her. What rubbish!'

'She asked for 56 stars and that's what she got.'

Well, I hope you've all learned a valuable lesson from this story. One about how sweet Kimberley would look with a little rocketship added right by her mouth. I WILL SUPERNOVA YOUR FACE!

What did she expect? Incredible face revealed of the man who tattooed girl with 56 stars when she only asked for three [dailymail]

Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck, Rémy, STOMPY, Joemo and Menace, who all went to the same dentist to get their teeth cleaned and walked out swinging 2X manhammers.

May 22 2009 Fun At The Fair: Animal Hand Paintings

These is a little gallery of amazing animal hand paintings created by somebody who I don't know who is. But whoever they are, they sure did a great job. So great, in fact, I've been inspired to paint my own.

Well, what do you think? It's a robin. That? That's the worm it's eating. Oh -- looks like he's having a little trouble keeping it down! Ha -- you see where I'm going with this? Hell.

Hit the jump for a bunch of others and a link to another gallery with at least 2 or 3x more.

Continue Reading " Fun At The Fair: Animal Hand Paintings "

May 6 2009 Needs Work: First US Full-Face Transplant

46-year old Connie Culp was nearly killed when her deranged husband literally blasted her face off with a shotgun in 2004. But now, five years later, she has a new face thanks to a recently deceased organ donor (sign your cards!).

She endured 30 operations to try to fix her face. Doctors took parts of her ribs to make cheekbones and fashioned an upper jaw from one of her leg bones. She had countless skin grafts from her thighs. Still, she was left unable to eat solid food, breathe on her own, or smell.

Then, on Dec. 10, in a 22-hour operation, Dr. Maria Siemionow led a team of doctors who replaced 80 percent of Culp's face with bone, muscles, nerves, skin and blood vessels from another woman who had just died. It was the fourth face transplant in the world, though the others were not as extensive.

"Here I am, five years later. He did what he said -- I got me my nose," Culp said of Djohan, laughing.

I got me my nose, I got me my nose. My goodness what a heartwarming story. Uncensored picture is after the jump, and, not to be insensitive, but it is a little rough on the eyes. Kind of like a belt sander, but with lasers attached. Seriously though, great job, guys.

You have been warned, now hit it.

Continue Reading " Needs Work: First US Full-Face Transplant "

Apr 20 2009 HOLY NOMs!: Jesus Appears In Kit Kat Bar

On Good Friday (OLD, LATE, BLOW ME GW!) Jesus revealed himself in the form of a half-eaten Kit Kat bar. Because, well, the son of God hates Twix. As you can see in those deliciously crispy layers, the Lord's face looks eerily similar to that on the shroud of Turin (Sunday school, son, TA-DOW!). However, the divine bar is not without it's hell-burning naysayers.

Other witnesses were less impressed. "It looks more like Darth Vader," said one.

Really -- Darth Vader? Now why on earth would Darth Vader appear in a damn Kit Kat bar? The man only likes dark chocolate. Get it, because of The Dark Side? I don't either. No, you're the Nutter Butter!

Sweet Jesus, his face is in a choc [thesun]

Thanks to Richie-Con-Carne and ash, who both agree they should replace communion wafers with Kit Kats.