Jan 12 2009 Massive Stargate SG-1 LEGO Ship On eBay

You a Stargate SG-1 fan? Want a LEGO replica of the Asgard Beliskner Battle Ship? Got $3,500? Live in or around Highland Park, Illinois? Willing to drive there? If so you're in luck because eBay user fentonhardy is selling the ship of your dreams!

AFTER THREE MONTHS OF HARD WORK AND TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PIECES MY BELISKNER IS FINALLY FINISHED. FANS OF THE SHOW KNOW THAT THE BELISKNER WAS THE FLAGSHIP OF THE ASGARD FLEET IN STARGATE SG-1 UNTIL IT BURNED UP IN EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE. AFTER WATCHING THE SERIES I KNEW THAT I HAD TO BUILD THE SHIP OUT OF LEGOS, THE THE RESULT WAS A INCREDIBLY LARGE AND DETAILED SHIP THAT MEASURED FIVE FEET LONG, SIX FEET WIDE, AND TWO FEET HIGH.

DUE TO THE ENORMOUS SIZE OF THIS SHIP IT IS PICK UP ONLY

My god that guy loves to yell. Tens of thousands of pieces though -- that's a lot. But not as many as hundreds of thousands of pieces, am I right? Damn right I am. Math: I know that shit. And also, poetry. Here comes a haiku!

Massive Stargate ship

Makes my penis look tiny
I won't stand by it

Damn, you just got poetried, son!

Hit the jump for several more shots and a link to the auction with a whole bunch more.

Continue Reading " Massive Stargate SG-1 LEGO Ship On eBay "

Jan 5 2009 Wow, That's Devotion: An X-Box 360 Room

Some guy went and decked out his rumpus room XBox 360 style. It has everything an XBox fan would need to game their life away, including, and pretty much limited to: an Xbox 360, green paint, and a mini-fridge.

This is my Xbox 360 Room I have been working on.

TV, Xbox 360, TV Table, Surround Sound=$3000
Led's,Led Driver,Led Dimming switch = $ 170
Rug at a Department Store = $ 120
Mini Fridge = $ 108
Chairs at a Department Store = $ 100
The floor I found on closeout
I installed myself = $ 85
painted the walls and logos myself = $ 80
painted and etched the glass tables = $ 10
Playing Xbox 360 in green glow = Priceless

Wow. That's....something. Something totally freaking awesome! Oh, and you may have already seen this, as it's pretty old. So good for you if you have. You should probably be writing Geekologie. Unfortunately, I'm the one with the internet face. Better luck next time, you handsome devil you!

Youtube

Thanks to Manwai, who was going to build a PS3 room but decided on a pool instead.

Dec 31 2008 Apple Equalizer: These Beats Are So Fresh!

eBay user jetsobox_au is selling a bunch of Apple logo graphic equalizer shirts. You can get one for $20 plus $15 shipping or $35 with free shipping. They light up in all their graphic-equalizing glory when the music is kickin' at the rave and you're rolling your face off, watching some asshat (who may or may not have stuck his pill up his ass with the help of a plastic Wal-Mart bag "glove") swing glowsticks around on showstrings (you know who you are!). Unfortunately, this seems like a bit of, oh I don't know, copyright infringement. Now I'm not saying I'm going to notify Apple to sue the pants off this bastard, but I am going to pose as Apple and "sell" the poor sap the merchandising rights. Suck it, the man!

Hit the jump for a video of the shirt in action and a link to the auctions.

Continue Reading " Apple Equalizer: These Beats Are So Fresh! "

Dec 15 2008 Sure, Why Not?: 'Fanboys' Plan To Break Into To George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch

This is a preview for 'Fanboys', a movie about a group of nerds that want to break into George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch. But, as a guy whose been there, I've got to tell you: not all that exciting. Oh, and porn dungeon. Wait, make that alien porn dungeon. The dude's a freak.

Make sure to head over to Iwatchstuff for all you breaking movie news. The guy knows his stuff. And also, where you live. Don't f*** with him.

Official Site

Thanks to Lee, who once worked on a project with George but had to bail when he realized he couldn't agree with Lucas' facial hair.

Dec 13 2008 Apple Apples Sadly Aren't McIntosh

Some Apple fan in Japan, one who owns a Fuji apple orchard, decided to profess his love for Macs in the only way he knows how, by growing fruit with the Apple logo and little pictures of iPods on them. How did he achieve the feat? Simply -- with stickers. You just put a sticker on an apple while it ripens, take it off when picked, and presto -- an iPod apple. What about the stickers makes the images appear? F***ing sorcery! And that, my friends, is scientific.

Hit the jump for a close-up.

Continue Reading " Apple Apples Sadly Aren't McIntosh "

Nov 19 2008 Really? That's The Best You Could Do?

In a story that reminds me of every wedding I've ever gone to where they set out disposable cameras so you can take pictures, some dude took a snapshot of his junk with his iPhone. And, after emailing it to his mistress, his girlfriend found it. Oh snap! So what did the no-good cheating bastard do? Simple, he blamed it on Apple.

The Fanboy's excuse was that he had taken the picture but never sent it to anyone. In fact he was so worried about his Iphone taking the picture that he said had paid a visit to the ironically named Apple Genius Bar. There he swore that a spokesman for apple had told him that it was a known glitch. Photos sometimes automatically attach themselves to an e-mail address and appear in the sent folder, even though no e-mail was ever sent, he swore blind that the Genius told him.

Well folks, I think we can all walk away from this having learned a valuable lesson. One about, oh I don't know, making up better lies.

Help! Iphone snapped my husband's genitals [theinquirer]

Thanks to Michael, who doesn't take pictures of himself in the mirror for his Facebook profile.

Nov 10 2008 Why Am I Not Surprised?: An R2-D2 Aquarium

He's been steampunkified, LEGOfied, made into cakes, a fridge, a USB hub, a home theater system, a trashcan (surprise, surprise), a computer case, and even a beanie, and now, in his latest incarnation, it's R2-D2 as an aquarium. The $129 aquatic habitat is sold by Hammacher Schlemmer and has a 1.75-gallon capacity. "R2's eye-piece even works as a periscope so you can get an up close look at your little buddies while they meander around." Then, you can eat them. Mmmm, fish sticks!

R2-D2 aquarium [crunchgear]

Thanks to Hunter, who had a birthday last week and is finally old enough to legally kick ass.

Oct 22 2008 Stormtrooper Is Bengals Fan, Loves Losing

Not to be outdone by the Master Chief and Optimus Prime Saints fan comes this Cincinnati Bengals (0-7) stormtrooper. As you can see, he's really rocking out with his orange, Darth Vader loving penis out. Good for him. And, to his credit, this picture was actually taken last year when the team was 4-7. Which, in four more games, they might be this season too! Or, you know, 0-11.

Bengal Trooper [sportsillustrated]

Thanks to Pablo, who doesn't wear costumes to sporting events.

Aug 1 2008 Rowling Fans Rejoice: Collector's Editions Of The Tales Of Beedle The Bard At Amazon

That's right all you Rowling/Potter fanboys, it's time to get excited. The Tales of Beedle the Bard, a $4 million book handmade by the sorceress herself, is being made into an accurate reproduction collector's edition. It'll cost $100 and be available on December 4th. So what do you get for your Benjamin?

Collector's Edition Product Features:
• All five fairy tales from the original The Tales of Beedle the Bard
• Outer case disguised as a wizarding textbook from the Hogwarts library
• Exclusive reproduction of J.K. Rowling's handwritten introduction
• 10 new illustrations by J.K. Rowling not included in the Standard Edition or the original handcrafted edition
• Velvet bag embroidered with J.K. Rowling's signature
• Metal skull, corners, and clasp
• Replica gemstones
• Emerald ribbon
• Net proceeds from the Collector's Edition and the Standard Edition support the Children's High Level Group, an organization that benefits children living in residential institutions.

Of course, if you don't want to dish out two day's pay for the thing (despite the good cause), you can get a trade paperback the same day for $7.59. Which, based on my limited mathematical abilities, is still more than I pay for a haircut. Because I shave it myself -- nuts too!

Amazon Product Page (non-collector's edition here)

Thanks Jennifer, can you teach me some magic spells?

Jul 22 2008 MacBook Touch Hitting Streets In October?

There have been rumors flying that a MacBook touch could be hitting the market as early as October. Allegedly these rumors are substantiated too, as they came from a MacDailyNews source that broke the wireless iTunes story early as well.

Think MacBook screen, possibly a bit smaller, in glass with iPhone-like, but fuller-featured Multi-Touch. Gesture library. Full Mac OS X. This is why they bought P.A. Semi. Possibly with Immersion's haptic tech. Slot-loading SuperDrive. Accelerometer. GPS. Pretty expensive to produce initially, but sold at "low" price that will reduce margins. Apple wants to move these babies. And move they will. This is some sick shit. App Store-compatible, able to run Mac apps, too. By October at the latest.

Okay, I've heard enough. Admittedly, I was believing it at first, but now I can tell it's is a lie. How? Trusted sources don't say "This is some sick shit." That's like a back alley plastic surgeon promising you "the sweetest f***in' knockers this eye ever saw" while tapping his eyepatch and waving a machete. Sure you want to believe it, but you also want to know why the guy is working out the back of an Italian restaurant.

That said, I'm sure it's true.

Rumor: MacBook touch Coming in October [gizmodo]

Thanks Dan, now the girlfriend is gonna hound me for one.

Jul 11 2008 'Fanboy' Makes Merriam-Webster Dictionary

In word news, 'fanboy' has officially been added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. That's the entry there in the picture. Weird they didn't mention anything about Apple or video games. Oh, and as you can see they claim the word dates back to 1919. Which I find a little hard to believe. In 1919 a fanboy was a kid you paid to wave a palm frond in your direction to stay cool, not somebody sitting outside an Apple store right now waiting for an iPhone. Oh well. In other word news, 'Geekologie' should be added to the dictionary. And no, not as the study of all things geek. Well, fine, that too -- but I was thinking something a little tougher.

Geekologie n, v (2008)
1. the study of all things geek
Dude, this college sucks, you can't even get a Geekologie degree.

2. to utterly destroy someone else and prove your dominance, similar to pwn
Suck it, sucker, I just beat your Bomberman high score. You got Geekologied!

3. to teabag a passed out roommate who forgot to take his shoes off
Quick, grab the video camera -- I'm gonna Geekologie Davey!

'Fanboy' makes Merriam-Webster's list of new English words [gamepro]

Thanks Julian, I'm putting you in charge of spearheading the petition.

Jul 10 2008 iPhone On Sale Tomorrow, This Kiwi Got One

Well folks, in case you had forgotten, the 3G iPhone goes on sale tomorrow. And, apparently, this assblastingcap in the photo was the first to procure said device because he lives in New Zealand, and somehow it's already Friday over there. Anybody understand how that works? I don't. Is the world spinning faster over there or something? Does it have to do with magnets? Is it ever like a full week ahead? Because if so I want to go over there, watch the news from over here, and then fly back and play the lottery real quick once I know the winning numbers. Does anybody do that? Is it illegal?

3G iPhone tomorrow, who's getting one? Who doesn't care? Who thought I was being serious about the whole time travel thing? I'm not stupid, I know it doesn't have anything to do with magnets. It's something about Australia's gravitational influence.

That Guy Got His Stupid iPhone 3G, First [gizmodo]

Jun 9 2008 The 3G iPhone Is Here, Fanboys Rejoice And Start Waiting Outside Apple Stores, I Get Drunk And Try To Forget About Life Like Any Other Day

Well folks, after months of rumors and speculation, Apple officially announced the new 3G iPhone today at the Apple Worldwide Developers Conference. It has exactly everything everyone thought it would. Well, except when I thought it was going to be a 3D iPhone. Because it doesn't have that. Everything else though, like 3G speed and GPS. The only real news is the price -- $199 for an 8GB, $299 for 16GB. And as an added bonus, the 16 is also available in white. Oh happy day! They'll all be available starting July 11th, so I'm headed up to the closest Apple store to start my month-long camp out. And by "start my month-long camp out" I mean I'll plow my car into the front of the line right before the store opens so I can be first. And by "plow my car into the front of the line right before the store opens" I mean continue lying on the couch. And by "continue lying on the couch" I quite literally mean I'm just gonna keep lying here.

New Apple iPhone

Jan 22 2008 MacHeads The Movie Coming Soon! Whee!

Apparently this is a legitimate film being made about Mac lovers and is not just a jab at crazy fanboys. It's definitely worth checking out. And I'm going to preface this with the following statement: I don't have anything against Mac fans at all. I like Apple. My wife swears by her MacBook and I heart my iPod Touch and want to be buried with it. That being said, the Apple fanatics in this video are freaking nuts.

MacHeads The Movie Trailer Shocks, Revolts, Intrigues Us [gizmodo]

Jan 15 2008 MacWorld 2008, Introducing The MacBook Air

The new MacBook Air isn't actually invisible like I first suspected. Nor does it float. It's just way thin and has no optical drive. The Air rocks a 13.3" screen, is 0.76 inches at the thickest, weighs 3 pounds, and features a multi-touch trackpad. It comes with an ultrathin 80GB hard drive, but you've got the option for a 64GB solid-state drive if you prefer yours with no moving parts. Part of the Air's appeal is its incredible wireless diversity. You can install software on the machine by "borrowing" the disk drive of another computer and having it send the data to the Air. You can also transfer files wirelessly from another computer or the new Time Capsule external HD/Wi-Fi station. The 1.6GHz with 80GB standard hard drive starts at $1,800. The 1.8GHz with 64GB solid-state hard drive starts at $3,100. Both models begin shipping in two weeks and neither has a removable battery.

I apologize for not being able to post this earlier, but I was kicked out of MacWorld for "being a complete dick" and "peeing on the floor", both of which I contest. While I did punch that overzealous fanboy (see picture), it was because the little bastard kept stepping on my new shoes (that and his haircut). And as for the public urination charge -- that was just the ziplock of bourbon I had taped to my leg leaking. Long story short: I made out with two female cops, jumped out of a speeding police car, caught the last wild unicorn with my bare hands, flew it across the border to Mexico, sold the unicorn for a bottle of spanish fly and admission to a donkey show, and now I'm in a bar drinking cheap tequila and blogging. And that, my friends, was MacWorld 2008 for the Geekologie writer. See you next year Steve!

The MacBook Air [engadget]