Nov 11 2009 Hooray?: Auto-Tinting Contacts Coming Soon

You know those eyeglasses that automatically darken whenever you go outside? I know, they remind me of pederasts too for some reason (but they look great on you, really). Now scientists are working on transferring the technology to contact lenses.

Traditionally, these light-to-dark lenses have been constructed by coating a normal lens with a photochromic dye. When UV light hits the dye, the individual molecules expand, darkening the lens and absorbing light. Coating contacts, however, doesn't work so well.

So researchers in Singapore have laced contacts with a matrix on nano tunnels filled with these photochromic dyes. Not only has the team been successful in producing transition contacts; these contacts darken in the presence of UV light faster than standard lenses (just 10 to 20 seconds).

Researchers are now working on isolating the photochromic material to just corneal region of your eye, granting you all of the UV filtering without turning your entire iris black.

Yeah, but do they allow you see through a woman's blouse? And, more importantly, can you believe I just said blouse? I don't even know what that is!

I Wear My Suncontacts at Night [gizmodo]

Thanks to twellve, who wears Transition glasses at night so she can, so she can, watch you live and offer you candy.

Oct 27 2009 Amazing!: A Hummingbird Feeder Helmet

This is a video of a hummingbird feeder that's incorporated into a $80 flowery mask. You leave it outside for awhile to get the birds used to it, then put that sucker on one day and sit still while the hummers come to feed right between your eyes. INTENSE! Reminds me of the time I let a murder of crows peck my eyes out. Probably shouldn't have done that. But like they say, hindsight's 20/20. Except mine, I'm totally blind now.

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Wearable hummingbird feeder: they'll think your eyes are juicy, delicious flowers! [boingboing]

Thanks to Fally, who once fed an owl a mouse right from her hand because she's an adrenaline junkie.

May 10 2009 Aaah, I Got A Brick In My Eye!: LEGO Glasses

LEGO Sunglasses are the result of the famous toy manufacturer bedding French optics company Lynx Optique. Just some heavy petting and dry humping though. The glasses, which have the iconic LEGO nubbins on the sides, allow the wearer to pimp them out by attaching LEGO pieces. So now you can build a giant plastic Jesus on your face. Or a space shuttle. Or you could, I dunno, just slap a bunch of tranny minifigs on there. Style: I wear it like a paper bag helmet.

Lego sunglasses let you build your own fashion [dvice]

Thanks to Laura, who wears her LEGO sunglasses at night so she can watch me live and breathe my story lines.

May 5 2009 Pfft, Who Needs Ears?: Pierced Glasses

Born without ears? Lose them in a samurai sword fight? Whatever the case, for those of you who have found yourself both aurally and ocularly challenged, you may want to consider pierced glasses. Pierced glasses are a pair of prescription eyeglasses that stay affixed to your ugly mug via a piercing through the nose. Pretty clever. Not as clever as just having Lasik surgery so you can shoot lasers out of your eyeballs, but hey, laser vision isn't for everyone. And, incidentally, neither are laser-wangs. Go ask The Superficial Writer why he's blind in one eye.

Pierced Eyeglasses [bmezine]

Thanks to Warfaremonkey, who wears a pierced hat and is now limited to the use of his animal brain like Phineas Gage.

Apr 6 2009 Cool: PEW PEW Laser Fashion PEW PEW

Hussein Chalayan is a fashion *PEW PEW!* designer I've never heard of, but that's *PEW PEW!* okay because there are probably only a handful of names I would *PEW PEW!* recognize anyway. Unlike The Superficial Writer who, *PEW PEW!*, can rattle off their names and collections faster than you a normal man can *PEW PEW!* fire up a chainsaw. In this particular showcase, now to be known as The PEW PEW! Collection, Husssein had engineer Moritz Waldemeyer add servo-driven *PEW PEW!* lasers to the dresses. Nice, guys. As you can see, the *PEW PEW!* dresses are sure to be a big *PEW PEW!* hit at raves. Unfortunately, you may never *PEW PEW!* see one because I'm suing the pants (!) off Chalayan. You see, I burnt my *PEW PEW!* retinas out trying to score an upskirt shot.

Hit the *PEW PEW!* jump for a bunch *PEW PEW!* more.

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Mar 5 2009 Blind Man Sees The Light With Bionic Eye

Ron is a 73-year old who went blind 30 years ago due to mysterious circumstances (the article didn't say). He hasn't been able to see anything since. I'm talking nothing. Pure blackness. But now, thanks to bionic eye surgery, he can finally see the light (again). Did somebody say laser vision? PEW PEW!

It uses a camera and video processor mounted on sunglasses to send captured images wirelessly to a tiny receiver on the outside of the eye. In turn, the receiver passes on the data via a tiny cable to an array of electrodes which sit on the retina - the layer of specialised cells that normally respond to light found at the back of the eye.

When these electrodes are stimulated they send messages along the optic nerve to the brain, which is able to perceive patterns of light and dark spots corresponding to which electrodes have been stimulated.

He says he can now follow white lines on the road, and even sort socks, using the bionic eye, known as Argus II.

Whoa whoa whoa -- let's slow down a minute. I'm all for bionic eyes, but don't you think it's a little early to be out on the road? Just saying. Quick Ron, how many fingers am I holding up? *POW* -- a fistful! Ron, can you see me? Ron? Uh-oh. Bionic eyes aren't expensive, are they? Looks like he might need a nose too.

Bionic eye gives blind man sight [bbcnews]

Thanks to Mal, who can see you through the internet. Mal, now describe to me what the ladies are wearing.

Mar 3 2009 Lookin' Good: Disposable Tape Sunglasses

Let's face it: we all sit on our expensive sunglasses. Perhaps not everyone for sexual gratification, but whatever, they still break. Enter disposable tape sunglasses by designers Azumi & David. They come on a roll like packing tape and are perforated for easy detachment. You just rip off a pair, slap them on your face, and PRESTO, everybody feels bad for you because it looks like you have a problem. I'm gonna get a roll and cut them in half to make eye-patches. How wicked would that be? If you answered 'Wicky to the power of Gnar-Gnar', you're close.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the shades.

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Feb 24 2009 I See Your Brain: Fish Has See-Through Head

The barreleye (Macropinna microstoma for you ichthyologists) is a deepwater fish that has a see-through, fluid filled head in which it moves its eyeballs. And that, dear reader, is freaking awesome.

Barreleyes, just a few inches long, are thought to eat small fishes and jellyfish. The green pigments in their eyes may filter out sunlight coming directly from the sea surface, helping the barreleye spot the bioluminescent glow of jellies or other animals directly overhead. When it spots prey (such as a drifting jelly), a barreleye rotates its eyes forward and swims upward, in feeding mode.

What a freak! Reminds me of a girl I used to date that had a wandering eye. My God that turned me on. When she was looking at you it was like she was looking through you. Well, with her good eye anyways, the other was always wandering over your shoulder. Damn I miss that eye.

Strange Fish Has See-Through Head [aolnews]

Thanks to Pat, who has eyes in the back of his head that he can't use because he needs a haircut.

Jan 21 2009 Guy Makes Portal Gun, I Plan To Steal It

Holy crap somebody went and made the gun from Portal. I have absolutely no shame in telling you all I am going to steal the device, and then use it to rob a bank and escape the po-po.

Developed by Aperture Science, this Handheld Portal Device is an extremely limited edition (dare I say, one of a kind?) portal generator. Illuminated with blue ad orange LEDs, the entire gun runs off of only one 9V battery and needs no ammunition.

*donning pantyhose mask* See you in a bit!

UPDATE: HOLY SHIT I'VE GOT IT! I even managed to escape without detection, so I don't even know if the thing works yet. *pointing at bedroom wall* Well, here goes nothing! *PEW* OH MY GOD IT WORKS! Aaaaand there's my sister. Aaaaand she's naked. Quick, portal me in the eyes!

Hit the jump for a couple more views.

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