Oct 8 2009 Well, It's Been Nice Knowing You: NASA Plans To Blow Up The Moon Tomorrow Morning

NOTE: If you're reading this after 7:30AM Eastern you may be dead.

As you may recall from the Pulitzer-winning article I wrote back in June (and an even ooolder article from April '06) , NASA plans to blow up the moon by crashing the $79 million Lunar Crater Observation and its Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) into the Cabeus crater on the moon's south pole.

When the twin crafts hit the lunar surface at around 6,000 mph, NASA expects "plumes of moon dust -- perhaps full of ice -- (to soar) 6.2 miles high above the moon's Cabeus crater."

NASA hopes the explosion and resulting unmooning (see what I did there? Like unearthing!) will finally settle whether there's ice and water under the moon's surface. And, if so, if it's potable. Nice, NASA -- TOO BAD YOU'RE GONNA BLOW THE MOON IN TWO LIKE BUTTCHEEKS! And do you even know what that's gonna do to the ocean's tides? I mean, besides make for the most epic day of bodyboarding EVER. See you at the beach, suckers!

NASA Will Bomb The Moon Tomorrow [io9]
and
NASA Attacks the Moon [yahoonews]

Thanks to JFreezy, Sean, The Superficial Writer, Benjamin and moses, who are gonna finish the moon off with a giant laser if NASA's plan doesn't work.

Aug 5 2009 This Page Is Stupid And Cannot Be Displayed

This could be older than dino bones (but NOWHERE NEAR as sexy) for all I know, I just thought it was humorous because I pretty much see this message all the time and it makes me want to put my fist through the computer screen. Which I don't hesitate to do. Seriously, I'm already on like my fourth laptop. Of the day.

This page is stupid and cannot be displayed [org.nz]

Thanks to Nik, who once punched through his monitor and broke one of the internet's tubes.

Aug 2 2009 You Did It Wrong: Building Demolition Fail

This is a video of a building demolition in Turkey (arguably my favorite country on rye) gone horribly wrong. Now I'm not saying I could have done better, but I totally could have. With fireworks.

Youtube

Thanks to Lord Tarl, who once imploded a building simply by looking at it funny (and secretly pushing the detonator).

Jul 9 2009 NASA Discovers 11 Billion-Year-Old Supernova

Eleven billion, that's pretty old. Probably dated your mom in high school. Ba-ba-ba-burn!

Astronomers on Wednesday said they had found the farthest supernova ever detected, a giant star that ripped apart around 11 billion years ago.

The ancient supernova was found after astronomers compared several years of images taken from a portion of the sky, enabling them to look for objects that changed in brightness over time.

The universe is believed to be 13.7 billion years old, so the supernova marks the death of one of earliest stars in creation.

The previous supernova record was an event that happened around six billion years ago.

Ooh, I feel a song coming on. *ahem*

Someday you will find me
caught beneath the landslide
in a bourbon supernova
a gin & tonic black dwarf in the bar.

Massive supernova occurred 11 billion years ago [yahoonews]

Thanks to Torotoro from Alabanyor, who is old enough to be your father. And might be.

Jun 5 2009 XM-25 Shoots Laser Guided Exploding Bullets

I haven't decided if the new XM-25 will be a useful weapon against the robotic uprising yet, but I'm leaning towards *pew pew*. Hook me up government, I pay my damn taxes. Well, I did last year anyways.

The system is clever enough to detonate its exploding 25mm bullets within 3 feet of their targets, picking off unfortunate foes with uncanny accuracy, even when they're hiding behind obstacles.

After calculating the target's distance with a laser rangefinder, this lethal weapon sends a radio signal to a chip inside the bullet. That brilliant projectile can precisely measure the distance it's traveled, exploding at precisely the right distance for maximum killage.

Oh shit yeah I need one of these. Maximum killage, that's what I'm talking about. You here that, Skynet -- MAXIMUM KILLAGE. I will ride into battle atop my trusty tyrannosaur steed and pew pew your shit all up. Then, my mount will dine on all the dead Terminators while I reach around him for a job well done.

XM-25 rifle shoots tiny laser-targeted smart bombs [dvice]

Jun 4 2009 Boom Drink: How To Make Exploding Cocktails

You just freeze a mint flavored Mento in an ice cube and then make a drink for a friend (read: enemy). Any artificially sweetened soda should work, but preferably something darker so the frozen Mento isn't so obvious. Then, a few minutes later when the Mento is exposed to the soda, BOOOSH! Alternatively, garnish your friend's glass with a live hand grenade.

Mix an Exploding Drink [wired]

Thanks to Towhee Monster, who once bit a Snap-N-Pop to make it explode because she's hardcore.

Jun 2 2009 Best Website EVER (Geekologie Excluded)

Explosionsandboobs.com is just that. Explosions. And. Boobs. That's it. Every time you visit you get one shot of an explosion and one of sweater melons. Nothing to read (minus "and"), just awesomesauce in its rawest form. BOOM! Boobs. Just like that.

Explosionsandboobs

Thanks to jonat8han, who has a crazy ass numeral in the middle of his name. And to D-Bizz, who doesn't.

Mar 13 2009 Sissypants Suing Over Exploded iPod Touch

A 17-year old and his family are suing Apple after an iPod Touch allegedly blew up in the sissy's pocket and caused 2nd degree burns.

It claims the boy had his i-pod touch off and in his pocket at school on December 4th, when he heard a pop and felt a burning sensation.

The lawsuit is seeking more than 200-thousand dollars in damages.

Pfft, I've got some 2nd degree burns but you don't see me trying to sue Cup Noodles. No, I think there's more to this story than the family is telling us. Namely, their house is about to be foreclosed and there was a reciprocating saw involved in the explosion. Elementary my dear, Watson. Now, fetch me a glass of the good stuff and come sit on Sherlock's lap.

Family Sues Apple Over Exploding iPod [local12]

Thanks to Douche McAllister, who had an entire sever blow up and catch fire in his pants but refused to sue because he's a real man with wrought-iron genitalia.

Feb 3 2009 Wrong #: Cell Phone Explodes, Killing Man

We reported on a 'death by cell phone explosion' last year, but that one turned out to be some guy trying to cover up accidentally killing a coworker. Maybe this one's real. Or maybe somebody else pushed the wrong lever.

A man has died after his mobile phone exploded, severing a major artery in his neck, according to reports.

The man, thought to be a shop assistant in his twenties at a computer shop in Guangzhou, China, died after he put a new battery in his phone. It was believed that he may have just finished charging the battery and had put the phone in his breast pocket when it exploded.

According to the local Chinese daily Shin Min Daily News, the accident happened on January 30 at 7.30pm. An employee at the shop told Chinese media that she heard a loud bang and saw her colleague lying on the floor of the shop in a pool of blood. The employee said the victim had recently changed the battery in his mobile phone.

Jesus, I'm never charging my phone again. So if you want to talk to me, you better call quick, because yesterday was my last charge. Yep, I'm only yelling from here on out. YOU HEAR ME? HONEY, I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR DINNER!

Man killed by 'exploding mobile phone' [timesonline]

Thanks to Richie-con-carnie, who once cooked a delicious meal on the heat of a burning cellphone.

NOTE: Picture is not related to story. Except it's a picture of a cell phone that exploded. And caught fire.

Jan 30 2009 Really, Really Bad Idea: An MP3 Grenade

Folks, I've had a lot of really bad ideas in my life. And followed through with most of them. But that's neither here nor there, because one thing I never did was mod an inactive grenade into an MP3 player. Inside, modder Matt stuffed a 2GB Sansa Clip MP3 player. Hey Matt, you ever hear the story about that one guy that suspected that other guy of being a terrorist and called Homeland Security on him? Yeah, what's your address?

Hit the jump for another view of the guts.

Continue Reading " Really, Really Bad Idea: An MP3 Grenade "

Aug 1 2008 Casting Couch: Host A Show On The Discovery Channel -- Super Testing!!

The Discovery Channel has an open casting call until midnight on August 6th looking for a male host for a new show they're producing -- Super Testing. So what is Super Testing?

The show explores the world of extreme testing - a world of explosions, planned crashes, and controlled chaos. The show is produced on a level as big as the subjects it covers. There are no scale models. No recreations. No "staged reality". Our cameras are involved in actual tests conducted by the U.S. military, government agencies, corporations and inventors around the world.

And who are they looking for?

We're looking for someone who is:

* In his late 30s to early 40s.

* Smart - he needs to be credible in his interactions with scientists and engineers. Science, stuntman, or engineering background is a strong plus. He does not have to be an "expert" in science or engineering per se, but should grasp the science or engineering concepts at least well enough to ask the kind of intelligent questions that our intelligent viewers appreciate.

* Tough, but an "Everyman" - He should be credible dealing with military officials, mechanics, pilots, test subjects - the whole range of folks who build things and sometimes blow things up all in the name of progress. Military, construction, or mechanical engineering background is a strong plus. He should come off as knowledgeable but likeable - and definitely a man's man.

* Charismatic, but not too "hosty" - He should be able to explain the who-what-where-when-how of the testing in a clear, direct, and always conversational way. We need someone who seems comfortable in his own skin and comfortable on camera. But he should also be comfortable letting the light shine on the real stars of the show - the people who he encounters, who make "super testing" a reality.

Interesting, Discovery channel. But you could have made it a lot shorter. It should have read:

We're looking for someone who is:

Mike Rowe.

And, since it's Friday and I have a man-crush on Mike Rowe that's borderline sexual, I've included several MUST MUST MUST SEE videos of Mike when he used to sell crap on QVC. If you're a Mike Rowe fan you must watch them, and even if you're not, they're hilarious. Search Youtube for a bunch more if you like them.

Continue Reading " Casting Couch: Host A Show On The Discovery Channel -- Super Testing!! "

Jun 18 2008 Gnar Wars: A Star Wars Snowboarding Video

Gnar Wars is a Star Wars themed snowboarding video. It features lightsaber battles, Boba Fett getting his dome piece chopped off, and even some wily Jawa bastards. It's worth a view. But not the repeated viewing that my Star Wars themed sports video deserves. It's called Par Wars , and it's golf themed! It mostly consists of a buddy and I waving around 7-iron urinesabers and trying to douse each other with the contents. We're a class act. The must see finale even features the destruction of the Death Bar (the name we gave the clubhouse bar after they refused to serve us anymore). We flew an X-Wing Fighter (golf cart) straight through that bitch and shot proton torpedoes (golf balls) at the main reactor (bartender). KA-BOOM!

Star Wars Snowboarding [/film]

Thanks Shawn, now if you'll excuse me I'm off to shred some gnarly pow-pow (that's code for do drugs).

Dec 17 2007 Bomb Piggy Bank Explodes If You Don't Save

Japanese toy maker TOMY released a piggy bank that explodes if you don't put coins in it on a daily basis. Once you put batteries in the annoying bastard it beeps on an hourly basis (read: not suitable for bedroom/anywhere indoors) to remind you to feed it. It costs about $27 and is a terrible idea unless you don't put batteries in it and really just want a bomb-shaped piggy bank. Then it's okay I guess. But let's be honest, who the hell saves money these days anyway? If for any reason I do have any unspent doubloons at the end of the week (rarely) I run straight to the strip club. Sure the dancers hate dimes and nickels, but they do pay attention to quarters -- but mostly just to make sure you're not winging them at their head anymore.

Big in Japan: Exploding piggy bank helps you save money [gadling]

thanks to Steven, who doesn't throw money at strippers, for the tip

Nov 28 2007 Cell Phone Explodes in Korea, Killing Owner

A 33-year old construction worker was found dead in Cheongwon, Korea, apparently done in by his cell phone. He was found beside his excavator in a stone quarry by his coworkers, and doctors announced him DOA. "His cell phone was found in his shirt pocket with its battery severely melted and his chest burned and fractured." The company that makes the cell phone stated "We will fully cooperate with the police investigation, but we believe that the battery was very unlikely to explode. Our battery is wrapped in aluminum foil, so when there is an external shock, it should just melt, not explode.'' Of course, aluminum foil! It makes everything safe. Like the time I told my kid sister to jump off the roof with an aluminum foil helmet on. Of course she died, but it's not like her head exploded or anything.

UPDATE: It turns out the man's cell phone didn't kill him, his coworker Kwan accidentally backed over him with his excavator and made up the story to save himself. Didn't work, he's being charged with manslaughter.

Man dies after phone explodes in his pocket [newlaunches]

Oct 11 2007 Apple Laptop Catches Fire Under Bed

Jimm Lasser pushed his Apple G4 Laptop under the bed after a "late night email session". Later he was woken up by a "FFFFFffffffff" sound, which was, of course, his laptop getting ready to blow up. He called the fire department and while on the phone the damn thing burst into flames. Long story short, he calls Apple and ends up with a complimentary MacBook Pro, with warranty. Now I'm not suggesting you hasten the death of an aging Apple laptop, but you definitely should. Just don't do it under the bed -- Apple doesn't replace carpet or furniture.

G4 PowerBook bursts into flames [ubergizmo]

Sep 17 2007 Army Testing Balsa And Foam Humvees

In an attempt to cut weight on Humvees, the Army is testing models made with "fiberglass, balsa wood, foam and carbon reinforcements all held together with resin. The body of the tan composite prototype has a sandpaper feel. The fenders are pliable and can be easily bent by hand, flipping back into place when released." The 900 pounds cut from the vehicle are going to be added back in the form of extra armor and mine-blast protection. Now I'm not too familiar with the strength of mine blasts or explosions or anything, but I do know that the last time I built a vehicle out of balsa wood the wings broke off in an hour and then the whole thing disintegrated when it rained.

Army Testing Balsa And Foam Humvees [therawfeed]

Sep 10 2007 Homemade Flame Thrower

Some idiots made a flamethrower out of what looks to be PVC pipe and tape. Then they filmed themselves shooting fireballs out of it and burning a defenseless tree. They also do some stupid stunt driving in their mom's station wagon, and throw a big screen down a flight of stairs. I love fire and explosions as much as the next guy, but these dorks are total unprofessionals. They're pretty much the world's biggest losers, and I think I want to be their friend. If being their friend means locking them all in the back of a U-Haul and driving it into the nearest lake.

The video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Homemade Flame Thrower "

Sep 5 2007 Laptop Fire Case Study 2

Well I'm sure you all fondly remember the first laptop case study, teaching us what not to do in case of an electronics fire. Well here is case study number two, which illustrates the proper way to respond should your laptop burst into flames. This case study comes to us from Shanghai. Sure China is trying to kill all our children with lead based toys, but damn can they handle a laptop fire with gusto!

Laptop fire Step 1. Don't move the laptop from its original location. This is vital (and often overlooked because you don't want your house/office to burn down), but you will see its importance when you move to 2. Ignore putting out the fire for the time being and start taking as many digital pictures as you can. With the laptop in its natural habitat, we can really get a feel for the moment. At this point there is an optional step 3. which consists of inviting friends over and/or cracking a beer while you watch it burn. After inhaling your fair share of fumes, you can now 4. go ahead and put the damn thing out. Stomp it, pour something/urinate on it, or use a fire extinguisher (less style points for that though). Lastly you should post the pictures on the internet and eat that now chemically laced pomegranate on the desk and wash it down with your tainted coffee. Thanks for the lead China, and for the awesome laptop fire know-how!

A few more pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " Laptop Fire Case Study 2 "

Aug 27 2007 Laptop Fire Case Study

Well by now I'm sure you're aware that laptops and cell phones have been blowing up all over the place recently, and I present to you this case as an example of what not to do when something of yours explodes.

Douglas Brown, a computer network administrator from Columbus, Georgia said his Dell 9200 wide-screen laptop's batteries exploded into flames, it "looked like fireworks which would have been cool had it not been in my house." Brown called 911 and the fire department responded with two pumpers, a ladder truck, the HAZMAT unit, an ambulance and the battalion chief.

Now I've told many women I've met in bars that I'm a forensic scientist, so I practically am. And based on my expert opinion I'm going to have to say that this Douglas character should have his "man" status revoked and be demoted to "infant". Look at that fire, does that look 911 worthy? I've put out bigger flames on birthday cakes. In the time it took him to dial 911 I'm pretty confident he could have put that fire out with, well, anything. So, when something of yours goes boom, don't be a Douglas, stomp the damn thing like any normal person would.

Laptop Fire Case Study [therawfeed]

Aug 20 2007 Man's Cell Phone Explodes

In cell phone news, a man's Nokia 2115i apparently exploded an hour and a half after he connected it to it's AC charger at home. Now I'm no pyrotechnician or anything, I'm just a guy who loves fireworks, but based on the movement of the phone from its original position, the damage it took from the blast, and the smoke and soot on the floor, I'm going to throw out my own little theory here. That theory is that someone was trying to kill this man. Probably a disgruntled ex-girlfriend or wife. If it did in fact explode on its own, then wow. And if so, I just ordered one off of ebay for my (soon to be ex) wife. You didn't read this. I didn't just say that. These aren't the droids you're looking for. Oh, nuts.

Several more pictures of the damage after the jump.

Continue Reading " Man's Cell Phone Explodes "