Nov 17 2009 There's Got To Be An Easier Way: Guy Uses Crane-Lifted Lawnmower To Trim His Hedge
In a feat of extreme-mowing, two men in Cambridge, New Zealand used a crane to lift a lawnmower high enough to trim one's overgrown hedges. Nice, guys, I like the way you think -- EXXXTREME!!
The operator, who did not want to be named, is now nursing a broken hand, but said it wasn't a fall from the mower that caused the injury but one off the crane.
He admitted it was not the safest method of trimming the hedge, but said it was all done as a bit of a joke.They wanted to film the stunt, put it on the internet and see how many hits it got, but in the end had no video camera.
That, my friends, is pathetic. Not only a broken hand BUT NO VIDEO. WTF?! I demand a re-do. But this time with fireworks shooting out the back. Oooh, and bikini girls. Plus more injuries. I suggest fraying the cables and loosening the mower blade. YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE CENTURY! And I want producer credit.
High rider trims his hedge [stuff]
Thanks to Patrick, who trims his hedge the old fashioned way: with a straight-razor. Yikes!
May 22 2009 Queen Of England Gets Gold-Plated Wii
The Queen of England was presented with a gold-plated Wii as part of a publicity stunt to hype up new title Big Family Games, which I have the feeling is gonna suck so hard.
BIG Family Games is the ultimate Wii game to get all family members, from grandparents to young children, playing together. The Royal Family is arguably the most important family in the country so we felt that they had to have a copy of the new game ... But we thought that Her Majesty the Queen wouldn't want to play on any old console, so an extra-special gold one was commissioned. We hope that she and the rest of the Royal Family enjoy the game!
Exciting news, huh? What do you expect folks -- I'm blogging from the effing beach. Yeah, and I just had sex with a mermaid! Of course, I was pretty drunk so it could have just been a big fish. Or *crumpling Subway wrapper* a tuna melt. What? OVEN BAKED SUBS NEED LOVE TOO!
THQ sends the Queen a gold-plated Wii [geek]
Thanks to Edwin, van, Riri, Watch-303 and catch22, who don't need gold-plated Wii's because of platinum you punk bitches.
May 16 2009 What The World's Smallest Car Looks Like
This is what the world's smallest (but not the lowest) street-legal car looks like. Because this is the world's smallest street-legal car. I don't know if you understand logic, but my argument is infallible. The car, which measures a scant 39" high x 26" wide, is allegedly twice as small as the last record holder.
Car modder Perry Watkins took the frame of the "Postman Pat" children's ride and mounted it on a quad mini-bike, using its 150cc engine. The car features a windshield wiper, lights and signals, mirrors, and even a Pimp My Ride-worthy paint job and fake racing exhaust pipes. The car, christened "The Wind-Up," can hit 40 miles per hour in what we're sure is an incredibly uncomfortable and scary ride.
Good looking, Perry. And you know what they say about guys who drive really small cars don't you? Serious neck and back problems. Kidding, kidding -- monster junk.
Hit the jump for a short video about the build and some driving footage.
Continue Reading " What The World's Smallest Car Looks Like "
Apr 3 2009 Angry Villagers Chase Off Street View Car
A group of angry villagers in Broughton, England chased off a Google Street View car because they feared an invasion of privacy and increased crime in the area.
"I was upstairs when I spotted the camera car driving down the lane," resident Paul Jacobs told The Times of London. "My immediate reaction was anger: How dare anyone take a photograph of my home without my consent? I ran outside to flag the car down and told the driver he was not only invading our privacy but also facilitating crime.
"This is an affluent area. We've already had three burglaries locally in the past six weeks. If our houses are plastered all over Google it's an invitation for more criminals to strike. I was determined to make a stand, so I called the police."
Just to be fair, I broke into Mr. Jacob's home and stole his valuables and last bowl of cereal just to prove that, even without Street View, The Geekologie Writer will still rob you blind. But seriously, Paul, if you could pick up some more Raisin Nut Bran, that would be awesome.
Gang of villagers chase away Google car [cnn]
Thanks to Brad, who once chased a Google Street View car six blocks before he realized it was a pizza delivery guy.
Feb 27 2009 Coooool!: All Glass House Has Sliding Exterior
The Sliding House is an all glass house built by Ross Russell and his wife in Suffolk, England. Its exterior walls and roof are all one piece that can be rolled off of the glass shell via a system of wheels and motors, exposing the entire house to sunlight. I want one. And not just because I'm an exhibitionist, but because HEY, LOOKIE HERE! Haha, yeah, because I'm an exhibitionist.
Thanks to Dan and Joemo, whose houses don't just slide, they electric slide.
Feb 24 2009 Not Impressed: The UK's Hottest Halo Fan
Apparently 25-year old Amanda Johnstone from South London was chosen by XBox as the UK's hottest Halo fan. I find it a little hard to believe, but who knows, I'd still Chief it.
At this point, we'd love to tell you (Miss World Style) about her charity work, measurements and star sign, but sadly we can only inform you that aside from walking round her house in a skimpy top and hot pants, Amanda runs her own events management company, hangs about the Halo Club night at The Cross, Kings Cross, London, sings karaoke and walks her pet Chihuahua 'Chiefy'. Come on, at least it's not quite as obvious as calling it Halo. Ok, maybe it is.
Eh, she's okay. I doubt she can actually play Halo though. I would have thought the UK's hottest Halo fan would have been more, you know, caught in a house fire. Did that just get you excited? It did me! It's called pyrophilia folks, and I've got it.
Continue Reading " Not Impressed: The UK's Hottest Halo Fan "
Oct 31 2008 Giant LEGO Figure Appears On Beach
A giant LEGO minifig maxifig washed up on the beach of Brighton, England a few days ago, and nobody knows where the hell he came from.
The Lego man is 6ft tall in red, yellow and green. It is presumed to have washed up on the beach, but whether it has come from a cargo ship or from across the Channel is not clear.
Brighton resident Gerry Turner, 34, said: "It's very odd. God knows how it got here but people are saying it's from Holland because it's got some Dutch writing on it. It must have fallen off a boat of something. The kids love it."
Fallen off a boat or something? How many boats do you know of with giant LEGO men manning the sails? Exactly, only a handful. No, I think there's a much more logical answer to this mystery. And that, my friends, is God.
Giant lego man appears on Brighton beach [telegraph]
Thanks to ShitBitch Carl, who used to captain a LEGO pirate ship in the Carribbean.
Sep 3 2008 Robotic Spider To Destroy Liverpool On Friday
A 50-foot robotic spider, which has been sitting dormant on the side of an office building since last night, is going to come alive on Friday and destroy the everliving shit out of Liverpool.
Weighing 37 tons and standing 50ft high, the spider is currently clinging to the side of Concourse Tower in the city.
The huge insect spotted in Liverpool is in fact entirely mechanical and part of a new piece of street theater organized to mark its year as Capital of Culture.It is thought the insect will come down from its current position tomorrow and then 'wake up' on Friday before starting to explore the city.
Tens of thousands of visitors are expected in Liverpool over the three days to try and see the mechanical arachnid.
Make that tens of thousands of soon to be dead visitors. Seriously, would you rather take your chances trying to catch a glimpse of a giant robotic spider or, I dunno, live? You're still gonna go see it aren't you? Haha, I can read you like a graphic novel.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the last thing a buch of Liverpudlians will ever see.
Continue Reading " Robotic Spider To Destroy Liverpool On Friday "
Jun 13 2008 Oh Great, We're Doomed: British Complete Skynet Network, Actually Calling It Skynet
Well folks, it's the beginning of the end. With the launch of their last communications satellite, the British have added the final link to their Skynet 5 communications system.
Skynet 5 is the latest iteration of a global communications system deployed by the British Armed Forces. The final satellite in the system was launched this week, and will allow high-bandwidth telecommunications between British forces located anywhere in the world. In addition to voice communications, it will allow data transfer and the remote control of robot airplanes, one of which is called "The Reaper." One of the manufacturers was quoted by BBC News as saying: "So, computers can talk directly to computers."
Haha, we're all f***ed. And here's the real kicker -- the system is actually privately owned and the British Armed Forces are only getting a piece of the bandwidth. Wow. Run for the hills, Terminators coming! Seriously, this can't be good. And while it's not the worst news I've ever heard, it takes second only to "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Sarah Connor Has Failed -- the British Just Built Skynet [io9]
Thanks Shawn, you know how I love bad news on Fridays
Apr 23 2008 Founder Of Jedi Church Attacked In Yard By A Drunk Man Dressed In Black Garbage Bag And Wielding Crutch Yelling "Darth Vader!"
Barney Jones is the founder of the Jedi Church. One afternoon he and his cousin were doing their typical thing, you know, filming themselves playing with lightsabers in the yard, when Arwel Wynne Hughes jumped over the garden wall donning a black garbage bag and cape. He had recently put down a 10 liter box of wine, and was wielding a metal crutch. He yelled "Darth Vader!" and hit Barney in the head with his makeshift lightcrutch. Laughing, he then beat Barney's cousin in the leg for good measure.
Hughes could not remember the incident and only realised what had happened when he read about it in local newspapers, the court told. Defending, Frances Jones said alcohol was "ruining (Arwel's) life" and he had no idea where he got the crutch from.
Arwel has since been convicted of two counts of assault, and one count of very poorly impersonating a Star Wars villain.
Drunk Darth Vader's Jedi assault [bbcnews]
Thanks to Liz, patron saint of beauty and intelligence in the Church of Geekologie, for the tip
Mar 26 2008 London Tower To House 100,000 People
London needs to find room to house 100,000 more people by 2016. One solution is this thing, a massive 5,000-foot tall tower (must see picture of the whole thing after the jump) design by the Populararchitecture firm. Reminds me of the plans for Japan's massive building, but this one is less pyramidal and more phallical.
The tower, which at this point remains simply a novel idea, would take up little actual ground space and run like a proper democracy. It is literally broken up into municipal areas--the "neighborhood" is a singe floor of 600; the village is 20 floors and houses 6,000. There are also three super-districts that house 33,000 people each.Elected reps serve in a local government and have regular meetings to decide what to do with common areas, which would include an ice skating rink, a botanical garden, an open-air theater, and tennis courts.
Shit, did that just say tennis courts? Sold! How soon can I sign a lease?
Make sure to hit the jump to see the ridiculously tall tower in full effect.
Mar 7 2008 London Pads Lamp Posts To Help Prevent 'Texting While Walking' Related Injuries
I'm not a big fan of text-messaging while walking, but that's because I have the coordination of a newborn. Apparently a lot of people do it. And apparently a lot of people get hurt doing it (allegedly 1 in 10 London texters) . So now the city is starting to pad its lamp posts to prevent people from running into them while they're busy texting. I personally think this is a horrible idea. It makes the lampposts look stupid and prevents injuries to people who probably deserve it (and should learn a valuable lesson). You have to look where you're walking! Next they're going to start padding cars for people who walk and text-message. I say screw the padding, add sharp spikes to the poles. If you can't manage to look where you're walking then you deserve to lose all that blood.
A painful video after the jump if you forgot what it looks like when someone runs into a pole.
Continue Reading " London Pads Lamp Posts To Help Prevent 'Texting While Walking' Related Injuries "
Feb 20 2008 Get Green: Build Your Own Hobbit House
Let's be honest, the Hobbit houses from Lord of the Rings were awesome and we all wanted one. Maybe not to live in all the time, but at least as a vacation home or secret get-away from a nagging spouse. Well now is the time to build your own low impact woodland home.
You are looking at pictures of our family home in Wales. It was built by myself and my father in law with help from passers by and visiting friends. 4 months after starting we were moved in and cozy. I estimate 1000-1500 man hours and £3,000 (~$5,825) put in to this point. Not really so much in house buying terms.
Wow, I totally want one. I'm going all out Hobbit. Now somebody come over and help me saw my legs off below the knees.
Another picture, some specs, and a link to the build page after the jump.
Feb 15 2008 Teenager Alarm May Be Banned In England
If you haven't heard (!) yet, stores and malls in England have been using a device called the Mosquito Alarm to keep kids from loitering. It's basically like a dog whistle, but for kids. The device "emits high-frequency noise which is audible — and annoying — to young ears, but generally not heard by people over 20." Apparently it's the same frequency that kids have been using for cell phone rings to avoid adults hearing incoming calls when they're using them places they shouldn't. Now England's commissioner for children and a civil liberties group are joining the fight to ban the alarm devices. I, for one, don't live in England but am all for the use of these devices. Hell, I want one installed in the house. My son just isn't getting the hint. I turned his room into an office, changed the locks to the house, and the asshole still hangs out on the lawn. I mean Jesus, he's 14, time to leave home already.
High-Pitched, Anti-Teen Gadget Under Threat [therawfeed]
Thanks to Delphine, who is beautiful and can't hear these noises, for the tip
