Jun 6 2009 (May) Deter Suitors: Fake Engagement Ring Kit
Ms. Taken is a fake engagement ring that comes in a discreet keychain holder so you can secretly slide it on before some dingdong at the bar tries to talk to you about how much money he makes being a giant effing loser. It costs $50 and I just bought them out. No more fooling me, ladies! Yeah, one time a chick tried to tell me she was engaged with a Ring-Pop on. I asked her who was she engaged to, Candyman? Then she said she'd summon him if I didn't leave so I ran home crying and broke all my mirrors. You know, because I'd hate to have to WHIP HIS WILLY WONKA ASS.
Hit the jump for two shots of the ring and a relatively must-see video ad they made which is a parody of The Lonely Island's Jizz In My Pants. Seriously, how'd that get there?
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Apr 11 2009 Shhhh, Don't Tell Her: A Diamond Tester
If you're anything like me, you probably saved yourself a couple grand by going with a piece of windshield glass instead of an actual diamond in your fiance's engagement ring. Just kidding, I'm not really engaged. But I would consider safety glass as a diamond alternative depending on my fiance's vision. Unfortunately, now there's an easy to use diamond-tester on the market to foil my plans. The $200 device quickly determines whether a diamond is the real deal or Moissanite (silicon carbide). That's okay though, we still have options: namely, rewiring the device to always answer diamond to moissanite. Now, which one of you lovely ladies wants to be my bride? Diamonds everyday!
Determine if your diamond is synthetic or real in 1.5 seconds [dvice]
Mar 18 2008 Make Sure She Says No By Proposing With The USB Engagement Ring
Being pressured by your significant other to pop the question? Are you just not ready for that kind of commitment but want to get in some good asking practice? Enter the USB Engagement ring. Made as a set of two, they can be connected to transfer data to each other (similar to how you can transfer disease with your privates). Now I don't think I need to tell you this is not the way to get engaged. Nope, this is the way to get kneed in the balls. Unless you're down on one knee, in which case it's the way to get your teeth kicked out.
Oh, and as a side note, those are definitely both man hands in the picture. And yes, the pimp in the back is the same minister that officiated my wedding.
Swarovski Engagement Ring Will Surely Get you Turned Down [ohgizmo]
