Oct 30 2009 Russia To Build Nuclear Powered Spaceship
You read correctly: Russia plans to build a nuclear powered spaceship. I smell a new coldcool lukewarm war coming on! ADVANCE THE DOOMSDAY CLOCK!
Roscosmos, Russia's Federal Space Agency has a new design for a manned spacecraft powered by a nuclear engine. Anatoly Perminov, the head of the agency, told reporters yesterday the goal of the Megawatt-class spaceship was "implementing large-scale space exploration programs."
Perminov added that this new spacecraft -- which will have a preliminary design by 2012 -- is supposed to help Russia maintain its edge in space, and possibly allow travel to the Moon or Mars. But Anatoly Koroteyev, president of the Russian Academy of Cosmonautics and head of the Keldysh research center, told RIA-Novosti that setting up permanent base on the moon was still out of the question.
Listen, I'm all for atomic energy, but I can't imagine the aliens being too thrilled about the Ruskies launching an atomic missile in their direction. AND YOU WONDER WHY THEY COME TO EARTH AND STICK THINGS IN OUR ASSES.
Поехали! Russia Plans Atomic-Powered Spaceship [wired]
Thanks to Nick, who built a nuclear reactor in his parents' basement but got grounded when they found it.
Oct 22 2009 Geekologie Review: Blood Energy Potion
I drank this stuff, it was good. It's thick and tastes like Hawaiian Punch concentrate. They recommend you put it in the microwave for 14 seconds to heat it up to body temperate. I did that. That made it warm. It was weird warm. Like licking a fresh wound, but sweeter. I think it gave me superhuman strength and speed but I won't know for sure till after I whip this nancy Edward Cunnilingus' pale ass.
Synthetic blood substitute. The fruit punch flavor packs 4 hours of energy along with iron, protein, and electrolytes. Not only does Blood Energy Potion have a similar nutritional makeup to real blood, but it has the same color, look, and consistency. Get real blood nutrients without that real blood taste! Re-sealable transfusion bag style pouch. Contains no real blood, just synthetic!
A 4-pack will set you back $16 but they get cheaper the more you buy. It's definitely a cool product for Halloween and certainly an attention getter. Not as attention getting as actually biting a stranger, but why risk the disease? Because you're crazy, that's why. I say do it. Bite that old lady. BITE HER NOW!
Product Site (order before 3PM tomorrow, October 23rd for Halloween delivery)
Sep 11 2009 Beef Jerky: Now With More Caffeine
Perky Jerky is beef jerky with caffeine added (via guarana) to help keep you awake and focused on trying to look busy and not like you're just reading Geekologie.
Perky Jerky caffeinated beef jerky is the world's first performance enhancing meat snack. Put simply, we've combined the most tender and flavorful beef jerky, with an extra dose of energy (caffeine, from the Guarana we add) to provide a jerky experience you won't find anywhere else.
Performance enhancing meat snack. I dunno about all that. But if you want to try it, a 2 oz bag will set you back $5. Alternatively, a 2 oz bag of good weed would be like $700. So, yeah, cheaper than good weed.
Thanks to Ryan, Mr. Robbot and Towhee Monster, who get their energy the old fashioned way, directly from the sun. Transform and photosynthesize!
Jun 13 2009 Robot Hunts For Outlets, Steals Electricity
PR2 is a robot that can hunt down power outlets to recharge its own battery. Why it even exists is beyond me. Thankfully, I just jammed forks into all my electric outlets, so if he tries stealing my power, he's in for a real shock (!).
This particular run had our PR2 alpha robot navigate through eight doors, and plug its power cord into nine outlets. In this video, you can see the various challenges our robot faced, such as a crowded office environment and the abrupt appearance of a human obstacle. We nearly sabotaged the run early on. Folks around the office were eager to track the progress of the robot, so many people ran their own monitoring programs on the PR2. This caused an increase in CPU load, starving the navigation software. Nonetheless, the robot was able to continue with the run, albeit more slowly and cautiously.
Okay, so I've formulated a plan. I'm going to lure this bastard out in the open with a power strip, and then, right before he inserts his genitalia, I'M GONNA CHOP IT OFF WITH A LASER BEAM! Cut off from his power supply, PR2 will slowly die while neighborhood children throw rocks at it him I swing his severed junk around like a lasso.
Milestone 2 Reached! Now You Can Watch It [willowgarage]
Thanks to Jeremy, who once broke a child's toy robot and made the boy cry. Trust me, Jeremy, he'll thank you later.
Jun 9 2009 Mountain Dew Is Back With WoW Game Fuel
You may recall a couple years ago when Mountain Dew came out with a special edition Halo-themed soda called Game Fuel. You may also recall It tasting like shit and the Geekologie Writer suing because it made his penis shrink (it was visible before, I swear). Well now they're back with two World of Warcraft inspired game imbibe-ables.
The Horde drink is reddish orange and packed with "a blast of citrus cherry". Nice, guys -- God knows orcs probably love that citrus cherry flavor. The Alliance beverage is blue and "packs a punch of wild fruit flavor". Ironically, so do I. Both drinks are available now and guarantee to be packed with previously unheard of amounts of performance reducing yellow #5. Mmmm.
Thanks to PsychoSane13, who can't make up his mind and probably leaning towards psycho. Also, the red drink.
Feb 18 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Rechargeable Solar Batteries
You know what I hate? Rhubarb. Never liked it. Also, when batteries die. Or a beloved family pet. *sniff* Focus, GW, focus. BAAAAAATTERIES!
Designed by Knut Karlsen, the SunCats are basically a set of old NiMH rechargeable batteries wrapped in a flexible Photo Voltaic cell created by the Institute for Energy Technology. When the batteries are drained, you simply leave them sitting in a windowsill or anywhere with ample sunlight and they'll recharge themselves.
Unfortunately, the batteries are slow as hell to recharge. I'm talking like light-years here. Psyche -- light-years are a measure of distance, not time! But the batteries do take forever to charge. I wasn't lying about that. But I was lying when I said I love you. I just wanted to see what color underwear you were wearing.
SunCat Solar Batteries [ohgizmo]
Oct 13 2008 Sony Unveils Ultra-Thin 40" LCD Television
The Sony Bravia ZX1 is not only 9.9mm thin, but "40% more efficient per panel inch compared to conventional flat panel technology" and allegedly uses less power than a light bulb. I'm not sure what kind of lightbulb, but probably not the 5-watt nightlight in the bathroom I use to prevent pissing on the floor. You know, I was just thinking the other day, "self, this LCD flat panel just isn't thin enough -- I really need something in the 9-10mm range." Thanks Sony, I'll take a 40". $6,055? No prob....wait, problem. Huge freaking problem.
Hit the jump for a video of the mother.
Continue Reading " Sony Unveils Ultra-Thin 40" LCD Television "
Oct 7 2008 Wait, What?: A Smart Car Monster Truck
Somebody modded a Smart Car into a monster truck because, well, that's what people do. You come up with a really bad idea after a long night of drinking, and the next day you make your inebriated dream a reality. Trust me, it's the human condition.
Thanks to Tim, who has drawn up plans for a Big Wheels monster truck.
Oct 6 2008 USB Light Up 'You've Got Mail' Indicator
This is a little $17 USB gadget that lights up whenever you receive new email. It can turn green, blue, or red to indicate which account the mail is from and looks like a little envelope. Neat. Oh, it's blinking! Oh boy, oh boy!
Date: Mon, 06 Oct 2008 07:04:33 +0000
From: "ives abdulkaf" mail@camelbak-deals.com
Subject: Upsize your hotdog into a french loaf
To: tips@geekologie.com
Top 10 sellers for organic pharmacology today
Hell yeah French loaf, I'm starving!
USB webmail notifier lights up your life when you've got mail [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who receives his email the old fashioned way, by horse.
Aug 21 2008 Mega Man Energy Drink Coming Soon
It seems like every video game character out there wants his own damn energy drink these days. So it comes as no surprise that Mega Man (who actually looks like a little boy) in getting one to coincide with the release of Mega Man 9. At first glance the product looks like an energy cell, but a closer inspection reveals it's just a freaking can.
The drink will be called "Rockman E Can Drink" because it's coming out in Japan and Mega Man is called Rockman over there. The drink will cost ¥137, or about $1.25 a can. No word on what it tastes like, though.
Ha, that's easy -- if it's anything like the majority of other energy drinks, it'll taste like Dr. Wily's taint.
mega man energy drink helps you beat down robot masters [technabob]
Aug 5 2008 Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink
Well folks, it happened. Somebody went and named their energy drink after a slang term for a woman's nether region. Or a cat. The one that starts with p and ends with ussy. Yep. This is almost as bad as the German Poontang Juice.
(Our product) is unique. It is made with a blend of fresh white grape juice from Southern Italy, pressed Mexican limes and lightly carbonated water. These are then mixed with Grenadilla and Lychee flavours, infused with six selected botanical herbs.
The name Pussy shocks and demands attention - that's the point. Inhibition is a recipe for mediocrity.
Oh really? Well it looks like you may have settled for a little mediocrity yourself there, Pussy. Because I just concocted my own drink, and Assf*** is gonna take the energy supplement market by storm. From behind.
Hit the jump if you really want to see the can without the censor bar, and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink "
Jul 7 2008 Toyota Prius May Get Solar Panel Treatment
Toyota already plans to roll out a plug-in version of the Prius in 2010, and now there are rumors of the company installing solar panels on upcoming models. The panels, if they do become a reality, won't power the engine, but rather the air conditioning, stereo, windows, television, coffee maker, massaging seat covers, etc. As you can see from the artist's rendition of the new Prius, Toyota will likely go with one large solar array protruding from the vehicle's roof. Kidding, I just made that in Photoshop. It does look good though, doesn't it? Strap a wind turbine on there somewhere and you've got a real green-machine. Say, that gives me an idea. Picture of new Solar-Wind Prius added after the jump. But don't worry Toyota, you can just pay for the idea in, well, euros. Lots of them.
Hit the jump for a picture of a Prius Toyota hasn't even thought of yet.
Continue Reading " Toyota Prius May Get Solar Panel Treatment "
Jun 24 2008 Melon-Powered Device Chargers Coming
So I'm making today Kinetic Energy Day on Geekologie. First the Dance Charger, and now the possibility of bra electitricity.
It turns out that the physics of breast motion have been studied closely for the last two decades by a gamut of researchers, most of them women with the exception of The Geekologie Writer. LaJean Lawson, a former professor of exercise science at Oregon State University, has studied breast motion since 1985 and now works as a consultant for companies like Nike to develop better sports bra designs.
Lawson explained that breasts move on three different axes: from side to side, front to back, and up and down. The most motion is generated on the vertical axis. Naturally, the bigger the breast, the more momentum it generates. "Let's face it--if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running," Lawson said. Measurements compiled by Lawson and her colleagues show that a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down (35 inches!) during exercise, while a B-cup in a high-support bra barely moves an inch.
ZOINKS! Honestly, I have no idea if boob-power is possible or not because I stopped reading the article there and started speculating with The Superficial Writer if there's a chick in the world with the melons to jump start a car. What can I say, we're scientists.
Victoria's Circuit - Harnessing the untapped power of breast motion [slate]
Thanks Chuck and Katlyn, I'll never look at knockers the same way again.
Jun 23 2008 MIT Students Make Solar Dish, Melt Steel
Students at MIT have developed a parabolic solar dish capable of melting steel. It consists of an array of 10 inch by 12 foot curved mirrors, and is a crucial step in the race to provide cleaner, cheaper energy.
The MIT team believes that their lightweight, inexpensive device holds the promise of revolutionizing the power industry and providing solar power to even remote regions.
The completed mirror focuses enough solar energy at its focal point to melt solid steel. The energy of typical sunlight is concentrated by a factor of 1,000. This was showcased during a demonstration, in which a team member held up a board, which instantly and violently combusted, when brought within range of the focal point.By directing the dish at a more practical target -- water piped through black tubing -- steam can be flash created, offering instant means of producing energy or providing heating.
Awesome. I just built one myself, and I've got to say, it's pretty damn powerful. I just put a chair in front of it alongside a giant "FREE MAKEUP" sign, and now I'm waiting for my girlfriend to get home.
UPDATE: Success -- single again!
Hit the jump for a picture of the completed dish and a wooden beam catching fire.
Continue Reading " MIT Students Make Solar Dish, Melt Steel "
Jun 19 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Altering Bacteria To Produce "Renewable Petroleum"
First the diesel tree, and now oil bacteria. Several companies in Silicon Valley are racing to produce bacteria capable of excreting oil (black gold, Texas tea).
What is most remarkable about what they are doing is that instead of trying to reengineer the global economy - as is required, for example, for the use of hydrogen fuel - they are trying to make a product that is interchangeable with oil. The company claims that this "Oil 2.0" will not only be renewable but also carbon negative - meaning that the carbon it emits will be less than that sucked from the atmosphere by the raw materials from which it is made.
Hey, I'm all for it. And as you can see from the picture there, it's a fairly simple process to raise the bacteria. It just takes is a couple of 16oz Coke bottles, an atomic bomb, and what is either a really fancy coffee maker or a hot-air popcorn popper. You attach all the components with some plastic tubing, add some electricity, and presto, the lab explodes.
Hit the link for a much more in-depth article.
Scientists find bugs that eat waste and excrete oil [timesonline]
May 30 2008 Battery Powered Robot Climbs Grand Canyon
The Evolta Robot is the mascot for Panasonic's new Evolta batteries. He's cute, has a wonky eye, and can climb.
The company says the new battery cell -- called Evolta, combining "evolution" and "voltage" -- can keep gadgets running 20 percent longer than offerings from rivals Duracell and Energizer.
Guinness World Records certified Evolta as "the longest-lasting AA alkaline battery cell," based on testing under guidelines set by the industry's International Electrotechnical Commission this year.
To prove the long-lastingness of his batteries, the 5-ounce, 7-inch robot climbed a rope dangling in the Grand Canyon for as long as he could. When his batteries finally crapped out, he had climbed 1,740 feet over the span of 6 hours, 46 minutes. I watched the whole thing and I've gotta say -- it was freaking boring.
Battery-Powered Robot Climbs Rope for 7 Hours in Grand Canyon, Sets Guinness World Record [foxnews]
Thanks Shawn and Dan, now one of you yank his batteries, I'm not going anywhere near that deceptively cute deathbot
May 19 2008 Caffeine Laced Chips: I'll Just Stick To Coffee
If you're anything like The Superficial Writer, you down several cups of urine-fortified coffee to get you going in the morning (seriously, stop taking my parking spot). Well for those of you out there that aren't into the liquid (or soap) caffeine scene, how about some, uh, chips? That's right, Engobi "Energy Go Bites" are cinnamon or lemon (WTF!?) flavored chips laced with wake-up powder. While I couldn't find the exact amount of crack per bag, each 1.5-ounce serving is advertised as containing "70% more caffeine than those little energy drinks." Yeah, and all for the low, low price of $1.29. To promote the chips, Engobi is taking the chips to the street.
The company is running a "Girls, Guitars and Geeks City Tour," with a Guitar Hero-equipped van, giving gamers willing to leave their basements the chance to compete for Guitar Hero controllers and gear emblazoned with the name of everyone's favorite insomnia-inducing snack product.
And if you were worried that Engobi was run by a bunch of old shriveled nads with no concept of what's cool to their target demographic, fear not.
Says the company's VP, Mark Singleton: ""If this contest, the Engobi girls, or our high-octane Engobi snack chips don't perk you up, I'm not sure you have a pulse. With Engobi on the scene, couch potatoes just earned a place on the endangered species list."
Wow, Mark, wow. You just made a whole bunch of no sense whatsoever. Doesn't gaming promote a certain level of couch/desk chair potatodom? I can't remember the last time I played video games while running a marathon. Unless slapping a Nintendo Power Pad with my hands to beat Cheetah at World Class Track Meet counts. Which, damnit, it should.
Engobi Website
via
Engobi Chips: Caffeinated, Guitar Hero-Friendly [gearlog]
NOTE: Whatever you do, don't go to the Engobi website and then click Products, What's Inside and then scroll over the heaps of shit at the bottom. Trust me, just don't.
Thanks Shawn, lets down a bunch of espressos and punch holes in the wall
Apr 4 2008 Sustainable Dance Clubs Aim To Be Greener
Sustainable Dance Clubs are designed to reduce the outside energy needed to get your groove on in a dimly lit room with a bunch of other people grinding "all up on that ass". The first is opening in Rotterdam this weekend and features a dance floor that harvests dancing energy via piezoelectricity. This energy will be used to power the club's LED lighting. Not sure what's powering the speakers, but my guess is magic. Hey, anything that makes the world a little greener is cool in my book. And they could really harvest some serious energy from my wicked moves -- I dance my ass off. Literally, I lost a cheek.
A video explaining the dancefloor and a picture of me after a hard night of partying after the jump.
Continue Reading " Sustainable Dance Clubs Aim To Be Greener "
Mar 27 2008 Donkey Kong Jungle Juice Is A Misnomer
We've seen several video game inspired energy drinks here at Geekologie, and even a Nintendo offering, but now comes another -- Donkey Kong Jungle Juice. Spotted at the Nintendo World Store in New York, the drink comes packed with all those sperm-reducing agents* energy drinks are known for. Apparently the concoction is pink, smells like bubble gum, and has the flavor of carbonated Kool-Aid. There are theories circulating that it's the exact same stuff that's in the Mario can, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was. You can score a can from Anime Castle for $2.25 if you still want to try. I'm going to pass though, as a matter of principle. Everyone knows jungle juice is alcoholic and does not come in a Donkey Kong can. No sir, jungle juice is a combination of Everclear and every other kind of liquor you have in your college apartment mixed with Hawaiian Punch and Sunny D. You scoop it right out of the cooler it was mixed in with a Solo cup. It gets you drunk as shit and makes you puke and pass out on the bathroom floor while people bash your brain in with the door trying to get in to take a piss.
*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. It has, however, been evaluated by Deez Nuts.
donkey kong jungle juice doesn't taste like bananas [technabob]
Mar 7 2008 HERCULES Laser Sounds Powerful, I Guess
The HERCULES laser produces a beam that lasts 30 million billionths of a second and is believed to be the most intense light in the universe.
If you could hold a giant magnifying glass in space and focus all the sunlight shining toward Earth onto one grain of sand, that concentrated ray would approach the intensity of a new laser beam made in a University of Michigan laboratory. The record-setting beam measures 20 billion trillion watts per square centimeter. It contains 300 terawatts of power. That’s 300 times the capacity of the entire U.S. electricity grid. The laser beam's power is concentrated to a 1.3-micron speck about 100th the diameter of a human hair. A human hair is about 100 microns wide.
It is hoped the beam can be used to develop better forms of radiation treatment for cancer and explore the possibility of spontaneous matter generation (holy hellfire!). Now my buddy (who will remain anonymous but whose name is York) came up with an even better use for such a laser. Are you ready for it? Here it comes -- A 24 HOUR LASER LIGHT SHOW ON THE MOON! Wrap your brain around that one for a minute. This might very well be the turning point in world relations. Think about it -- all nations coming together to get high as shit and watch lasers on the freaking moon! Can you smell that? It’s world peace. Or maybe it’s the moon exploding. Either way it’s going to be a hell of a show.
HERCULES Laser is Most Intense Laser in the Universe, Almost as Powerful as the Death Star [gizmodo]
