Sep 25 2009 THERE IS NOTHING OKAY ABOUT THIS
This is a video of the government's latest flying cyborg beetles in action. That's right, ACTUAL LIVE beetles being remotely controlled via implanted electrodes. Just wait till the government gets its hands on you!
"We demonstrated the remote control of insects in free flight via an implantable radioequipped miniature neural stimulating system," the researchers reported in their new paper for Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience. " The pronotum mounted system consisted of neural stimulators, muscular stimulators, a radio transceiver-equipped microcontroller and a microbattery."
The research, supported by the Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, is part of a broader effort, called the HI-MEMS program, which has been looking specifically at different approaches to implanting micro-mechanical systems into insects in order to control their movements.
OH HELLLLLL NO. You show me one person who thinks this is okay and I'll show you a got-damn freedom hating communist. Just sayin', I saw that sickle and hammer tattoo!
Video: Pentagon's Cyborg Beetle Takes Flight [wired]
Thanks to Danny, Mycropht, Bo, Mike, Zach, Jason, Peterman and TobyRaider, who already have government chips implanted in their brains that make them irresistible to women. WHERE WAS I ON THAT, THE MAN?!
Aug 28 2009 Kitty Noises, Autotune Used To Make Song
This is song made using videos of kitty sounds that have been auto-tuned (think Kanye West, but with less bitching and whining) to produce some funky fresh beats. Yes, I am hip to your jive. I'm a cool cat, you dig? I jest, I am a warm dog. And speaking of which -- in college I lived in a house with five other guys, and we had this one roommate who would always boil hotdogs in the same pot of water and then lid the pot and save the water for next time. Dude got mad pissed if you even joked about touched his hotdog water. And that pot would sit there on the stove for sometimes a week between boilings. He was convinced it gave each subsequent batch of dogs more flavor. We were convinced it gave us dysentery.
Thanks to Tom and Edd, who once made a song with their voices synthesized to sound like Chipmunks but then deleted it when they realized that shit's not cool.
Jul 24 2009 That's No Ordinary Ruler!: It's Electronic
You know what sucks about rulers? When you'd fall asleep in class and the nuns would beat you with them. Except that never happened because I didn't go to Catholic school AND NOBODY BEATS ME BUT ME. But yeah, this is an electronic ruler by designer Shay Shafranek that has the form factor of an analog one. What will they think of next?! Affordable jetpacks? I sure hope so.
Press the power/reset button on the ruler and the LEDs light up, waiting for your input. The wooden cover conceals what the pencil in the image above is touching: a line of metal points jutting out from the inner edge of the ruler. The ruler uses the change in voltage induced by touching one of these points to calculate the distance.
I dig it, but not as much as I'm digging you. Is that a new perfume you're wearing? Because it smells like flowers and shit. And that dress -- you look better than a sackful of potatoes. I mean it, I want to kiss you till your teeth break. I'm sorry, is this too romantic for you?
Hit the jump for two more shots showing how the device works.
Continue Reading " That's No Ordinary Ruler!: It's Electronic "
Jun 1 2009 Talking Grill Thermometer Talks, Temperatures
The $70 Grill Alert Talking Remote Thermometer is a talking remote thermometer for your grill. You just jam the temperature probe in your choice of meat, push some buttons, and then sit in a hammock and guzzle beer while deliciousness deliciousizes itself. When the meat reaches your predetermined temperature of choice, the thing tells you it's time to slap that bitch on a plate and OM NOM the shit out of it. Pork chop sandwiches! Also, meat probe -- I have one. Ladies?
Talking Wireless Grill Thermometer Helps Cook Steak [ohgizmo]
Oct 17 2008 Crown 7 'Hydro' Smokeless Cigarette
Well Crown 7 is at it again, this time with a new smokeless cigarette, the Hydro ($80). What's so hydro about it eludes me, but it has something to do with water vapor. Anyway, like their other models, the device delivers nicotine but no smoke or carcinogens and is sadly not a bong. But you can "smoke" it anywhere. Like in the boy's room. Or, alternatively, the girl's room. But not your parent's room -- they might be doing it! I'm still passing though, because I only smoke pole. HAHA! But seriously, does that make me gay?
May 27 2008 Touchscreen Turntables Require No Records
Let's face it: records are round and made of vinyl. The ATTIGO: TT is the brainchild of Dundee University student Scott Hobbs and is basically two digital turntables (with waveforms displayed) that allows DJ's to "loop, sample and scratch wave forms just as you would a record." Scott is currently looking for manufacturers interested in producing the ATTIGO, and I'm currently looking for a new girlfriend interested in producing beautiful music. But just with me -- not my roommate and the Fed-Ex guy while I'm busy mowing the yard. I HATE YOU JANET! YOU'RE LOOSE AND NOW EVERYONE ON GEEKOLOGIE KNOWS IT.
UPDATE: YOU DIRTY STRUMPET!
UPDATE: Okay, we're back together. But I'm leaving this up because I know she's gonna end up banging the dude that works the aquarium section at the local pet store. I've seen the way they flirt around the cichlids.
UPDATE: Wow, the reptile guy too. Didn't see that coming. Nice touch you skank.
A worthwhile VIDEO of the unit in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Touchscreen Turntables Require No Records "
Apr 14 2008 Halitosis Detector Also Features Alcohol Meter
We featured another stink-breath detector on Geekologie a while ago, but that one didn't have a back-lit screen or breathalyzer, so it sucked. But the Etiquiette Checker ($59) does, so while it still sucks, at least it's the lesser of two suckages. You just blow into the device, and it gives you a score from 1-6, 1 being go French kiss the hottest chick you can find, 6 being you may have just licked a dog's ass. But this marvel doesn't end there, no sir. It also gives you a blood alcohol reading in 0.05 increments (kind of useless). Remember the first time one of your friends got a breathalyzer and you all went out to see who could blow the highest? I do, it was great. I thought for sure I was going to win with a 0.27, but my buddy Shitty Bill ended up blowing us all out of the liquor with a 0.38.
R.I.P. Shitty
UPDATE: Glad this guy wasn't there.
Electronic Etiquette Checker [ohgizmo]
